by Ella Brooke
Perhaps she should have been afraid, but fear was the furthest thing from her mind as she gave herself up to him, rising up to meet every thrust as he crashed down on her.
She could her him calling her name, saying things in a language she did not understand. He needed her in a way that she barely understood, but she felt it down deep in her bones, like something rare and beautiful that she could never put into words.
All Benny could do was hang on to him, burying her face in his shoulder as they moved across the waves of pleasure together. She could feel the pleasure build up in her again, and she was as helpless to resist it as she had been the first time. This was everything she had craved. This was everything she had wanted, not pleasure by herself, but a pleasure that brought them both together, that unified them and made them into one.
Just as he thrust into her one last time, she crested her own peak, spilling over again, tightening around him, clinging to him and letting the shoal of pleasure wash over her. It was something that she could no more stop than she could stop the ocean, and she screamed out loud as it hit.
Distantly, she could feel him spill his wet liquid warmth into her, holding himself over her as his frame trembled and shook. It was so intense that colors exploded behind her eyelids as she simply shook, pulled together with him in a way that was beyond anything she could have imagined.
Finally, both of their bodies stilled, and she could look up at him, her breaths still coming fast. There was something awed about his gaze, something fascinated and needy and wild, and she smiled up at him.
"Are you all right?" he asked, feathering a soft kiss over her face.
"Yes, though I could ask the same of you," she murmured. How strange it was to talk with a man while they were still joined so intimately, but how right it felt as well.
"Me? I'm fine. It is not every day when I get seduced by a beautiful woman," he teased.
He pulled out of her gently, but Benny still gasped at the shock. It felt a little empty now, and a little cold, but he fixed that by coming down next to her and curling her up in his arms.
"I don't know if I am all that seductive," she teased. "I mean, it didn't take all that long..."
He laughed, and the sound was like gold and whiskey in her ear.
"I think that has more to do with the fact that it was you doing the seduction than anything about me," Jinan retorted. "When it comes to you, it could be said that I have a certain weakness."
She might have wanted to hear a bit more about that, but then Jinan's tone went stern.
"Why didn't you tell me that you were new at this?"
Benny blushed, and she stuck her chin out, slightly mutinous.
"Was I that bad?" she asked, and he rolled his eyes, tugging her closer.
"I think you know that you are far from bad at this," Jinan said, "but I can tell when someone is tight, and when their body may not be used to this kind of play. The question stands. Why didn't you tell me?"
She buried her face in his chest, but she knew him at this point, and she knew that if he wanted an answer he would get it.
"Because I didn't want you to look at me any different," she said finally. "God, I mean most women get this taken care of years ago. I just...never found the right person...or anyone I really wanted."
"And I hope that you have found the right person and I wasn't just an experiment for you?"
Her eyes flew up to his face, slightly stricken. "Oh god, no, I didn't mean it that way! It's just...when I met you...I thought you might be the right person."
The silence between them was slightly fraught, but finally, Jinan broke it with a sigh.
"Thank you for that. If I’d had any clue, it might have been a little easier for you... Well, I might have done things differently, but things being as they are, I do not regret this at all. Do you?"
He kept his voice calm and level, but she could sense the question underneath it, the concern and even a little bit of fear.
"Of course not," she murmured. "I could never regret doing this with you. I never thought I could feel all of that..."
"Good."
They were quiet for a while, and Benny was startled by the wave of sleepiness that washed over her.
Well, I guess I have been engaging in physical activity, she thought with a bit of amusement.
"I'm getting pretty tired," Benny murmured. "Do you want me to go back to my room?"
There was a pause, and when Jinan spoke, she wondered if there was something more distant there.
"Of course not. We are married, and married men and women should sleep with each other, should they not?"
"Hmm, makes sense," she agreed, already too tired to argue.
She thought he was saying something else, but nestled in his arms with the covers drawn up to her shoulders, sleep became an inevitability, and she let the darkness take her.
***
SHE SLEEPS LIKE an angel, Jinan thought with amusement, looking at the woman next to him. Gently, he brushed some of her hair out of her face, examining each feature as if he wanted to memorize them.
What the hell was he doing?
In some ways, it felt as if things had only picked up speed and chaos since the phone call. Jinan had a private suspicion that he might now think of life in terms of before that phone call and after, at least when it came to his relationship with Benny.
The time before had been good, really quite good. She had captured his attention in a way that few women ever would, he could feel her on the edge of being seduced, and more than that, he had genuinely liked her. There was something happy and eager and excited about her that made the days race by, and that more than anything had been why he’d wanted her at that event with him.
After the phone call...
That phone call had changed everything. Before, Jinan had thought they would have a discreet affair. He’d had them before. Some of them lasted for months, most lasted for weeks, and a bare few lasted for a single night. Now, though, after the death of her beloved family members and the threat from people who seemed terrible, he had seen the other side of her.
He had seen her heartbroken, he had seen her threatened, and he had seen her protective. He had seen the love on her face for her niece Jodie, and he had seen the instant way that she took responsibility for her.
All of that had led him to see her as far more than a fling. Those were qualities to admire. If he had seen them in Ben MacLeod, the man he had thought she was, he would have wanted that man for his close friend, for someone he could talk with and trust.
He wasn't sure what to think now that he had seen them in a woman.
Jinan looked down at her, a slight smile on his face. She was right, after a fashion. There was no need for any seduction. He was beginning to suspect that all she would need to do was snap her fingers and he would be there.
He thought it should have worried him more than it did, but there was something deeply satisfying about it.
Jinan reminded himself that she was going through a fraught time right now. He was confident that the Winthrops would not be able to take Jodie away from Benny with his support behind her. However, there were many changes occurring, and it would be no surprise if they left her feeling a bit dizzy and off-balance.
He realized that he would need to be her rock, the person she could depend on, and a part of him gloried in that idea.
"I’ll take good care of you," he whispered, and it seemed to him that she smiled a little in her sleep.
He knew he couldn't stay in the United States forever, and he knew that eventually this would all change. There might be a time sooner rather than later that she wouldn't be able to lie in his arms any longer, when he was back in his home country.
Right now, though, he resolved to live in the moment, and that meant enjoying every moment that he and this rare and wonderful woman had together.
Chapter Nine
Benny was a little nervous after the night that she had spent with Jinan, but soon enough,
she realized there was nothing to worry about. It wasn't that things were necessarily so different, it was simply that there was something new and exciting added to their relationship together.
Suddenly, she didn't have to avoid touching him while passing in the kitchen, and she didn't have to worry if her smile was too much when she saw him.
They continued to work well together, she continued to do her job with calm competence and reasonable aplomb, and he continued to be the best client she could ever have wanted.
Jodie smiled and cooed and continued to be a wonderful baby, and she was simply added to their day. Benny could remember her fears about Jinan getting tired of having an infant around, and now she could see that those fears were simply unrealistic. It was as if having a baby around allowed him to be open about a part of himself that had gone untended. He held and fed Jodie almost as much as she did, and more than once, she came into the room to catch them vocalizing at each other, Jinan encouraging her to try out the sounds that would very soon turn into words.
After a doctor's appointment where they were encouraged to try her on solid foods, he was the one who minced up small bits of their own dinner to see if she might have a taste for it.
"I am not sure the baby needs food quite this nice," Benny said with amusement, jiggling Jodie in her arms.
"She should develop a taste for the best," Jinan said expansively. "It will show her how big the world is and what she can have."
"If you say so. I was just going to cut up a hard boiled egg to see if she would like it."
As it turned out, Jodie liked them both, and as they watched the tiny girl take another step towards growing up, they smiled at each other. There was another pang there, that Sandra and Paul should have been sharing this, but the pains were growing fainter as she mourned.
Working for Jinan and having Jodie to look after gave her less time to feel sad, which Benny supposed was a blessing after all. She wondered whether Jodie should call her "mama;" one of the noises that she and Jinan were making back and forth to each other sounded a great deal like it already. The first time she heard it, she thought she might melt out of pleasure and happiness, and then she was overcome with guilt. She was stepping into Sandra's shoes, and no matter how good it felt, it also hurt. This was Sandra's daughter, and no matter how much she tried, she would never step into her sister's place.
Time went on, however, and things eased up. Sometimes she wept, but more often than not, her days were consumed with a delightful infant and a man who woke her up in so many ways. It was like she had never seen the world in color before she spent the night in Jinan's arms. Suddenly, everything was brighter, and she was sensitive to his every touch, to his every smile, to every new pleasure the world had to bring. There was a new resonance, a new wonder to being alive, and it thrilled her.
At first, Benny tried to make sure that she kept her life separate. When she was at work, she wanted to be at work, and when she was off, she wanted to be off. However, after just a day or so, she realized that wasn't possible.
At first, it went all right when she was making calls and appointments and little Jodie was asleep. That worked out well, but even though Jodie slept a great deal, she would wake up eventually, and her cries would demand to be heard. Strictly speaking, she needed to be fed and then she could be placed in a playpen, but it was awfully hard to put down an infant that was so engaged, that wanted to be loved and played with so much!
Of course, it didn't help that as far as Benny could tell, Jinan was just as bad as she was. She still smiled when she remembered the first time she’d figured this out.
One sunny afternoon, as she and Jinan were going over the schedule for the following week, Jodie's cry had pierced the air. Her hands full of brochures and training documents, Benny was slightly delayed in going to Jodie, but of course, Jinan was completely unencumbered.
Instead of waiting for Benny to get up and take care of the infant, he rose and walked to the nursery, where he scooped her out of the bed with a gentle laugh.
"What's the matter, little princess?" he crooned. "What's the matter? Are you worried that you are all alone? Are you worried that there is no one around to play with you?"
"She probably needs a fresh diaper," Benny remarked from the doorway, wondering if it would make Jinan flinch and put the little girl down in a hurry. She had seen plenty of men do similar things, but to her surprise, Jinan patted Jodie's diaper briefly and shook his head.
"No, she seems fine. It's just about time for her to wake up anyway. I was thinking we could try her on that new chicken stew baby food, if that's all the same to you? It seems as if today is as good a day to try her on it as any..."
Benny was too startled by this pronouncement to do anything but nod, and then, her phone in her hand, she followed him to the kitchen. With a caring aplomb she would never have guessed at, he dropped Jodie into her high chair and pulled out the baby food for her. He had just managed to get the baby girl her first bite when he looked up in surprise.
"What was that sound?" he asked, startled, and she grinned, lowering her phone.
"Nothing for you to worry about," she said, and he rolled his eyes.
"Well, a picture of me feeding a baby is hardly nothing to worry about. I can only imagine how insane the tabloids would go if it came out that I might have a love child. Just make sure that you keep it to yourself, all right?"
"All over the evening news, you got it, boss," she giggled, and he rolled his eyes again at her. He might have said something more on the matter, but then Jodie was patting on his arm imperiously, having decided that she rather liked the chicken stew and everything that it stood for, and that she might perhaps like a second bite.
As Jinan returned to feeding Jodie, Benny looked at her camera's photo gallery. The picture was surprisingly lovely. There was the infant, all soft skin and flaxen hair, looking up with wide gray eyes at the man who was seated across from her. The man had a stern cast to his features, but there was something beautiful about him as he coaxed the child to eat with a smile.
Jodie sighed a little. She wanted nothing more than to throw the picture onto her social media, sharing it with everyone, but he was right. The outcry that would result from a public figure being discovered in this position would be terrible, might even endanger his role as Prince of Asrac.
Instead, she smiled a little as she made it her phone's wallpaper. It was discreet enough behind the lock screen, and when she saw it, she smiled.
Jinan was a busy man, and it would not have surprised Benny if he had only pitched in at the beginning, when having a little baby around was new and exotic. However, no matter how good he was at feeding and burping Jodie, she never expected it to last for long. Benny figured that he would eventually get bored of the novelty and things would return to what they had been before. However, that never seemed to happen.
One night, while she was getting a rest from being on her feet, she glanced over at Jodie, sleeping in Jinan's arms like the world's smallest drunken sailor.
"You are incredibly good at that," she said softly. "I never thought you would be good with children."
"It's not hard," he said with a shrug. "I think I told you about my cousins. You do pick up a few things here or there, and my mother was always a proud woman. While I was definitely encouraged to know my place in the world, she wanted to make sure that I also respected the place a woman might have."
"I think I would have liked your mother," she said lightly. "That sounds like something I would want my own sons to learn."
"I think she would have liked you as well," Jinan said simply, and she had to look away to hide the blush on her cheeks.
"What I meant to say is that you are good with Jodie. I wanted to let you know that I was very grateful. I think at this point I can say that I would have been able to do it alone...but doing it with you has been..."
She trailed off, and he gave her a grin that was soft and sweet.
"It has been amazing," he re
sponded. "Getting to hold Jodie, getting to see her smile and grow, even in the short time that I have known her, it has been incredible."
"I guess it will at least be practice for when you have your own children," Benny said, ignoring the pang it brought her to think of Jinan having children and glancing over at his future wife just as he was doing with her right now.
Jinan seemed unaware of the pang that ran through her, instead rocking Jodie thoughtfully against his chest.
"Do you think you want another?" he asked, and she laughed a little to cover up the pain.
"Don't ask me, why don't you ask your future wife? I'm not sure that is a question that one woman can ever in good conscience answer for another."
"Well, my future wife is not in the picture right now," Jinan said sensibly. "And besides, I was asking you because I genuinely want to know. Do you think that at some point down the line you will want to give Jodie a sibling or two or three?"
She wondered if she could simply fob Jinan off with some kind of light answer, but from the intent look in his eyes, she didn't think that was going to be a possibility. Sometimes, he got a look on his face that suggested it was simply better to surrender, and it looked as if he was wearing that expression now.
"Well, if I am really honest with myself, I don’t know if I would like to give Jodie a little brother or sister someday. I mean god, I don't even know if Jodie should be calling me Mommy or Auntie Benny, and now I'm thinking of more children? That's a little cart before the horse, don't you think?"
She had thought there was a chance that this might end things, but instead, Jinan simply looked more thoughtful than ever.
"I think since you are as much a godmother as an aunt that you should be all right with her calling you Mama. It seems a little hard, doesn't it, for a little girl who has never known her biological mother to have her own godmother demand another title?"
Benny started to speak, but then she frowned, thinking about that.