Solas answers inside my mind again, “Yes.”
Solas pours the clean water into the basin, plunges a cloth into the water, and squeezes most of it out. He raises my arm and gently wipes the blood and dirt from the cut. I shut my eyes and wince at the stinging laceration. He rinses the cloth and wipes my arm in soothing strokes. His emotions start pouring into me like a soft wind kissing my skin as I relax. A controlled desire of lust, itching beneath the surface. I meet his eyes as he lays my arm back down slowly.
If he can hear my thoughts, can he feel what I feel?
He clears his throat, “I need to access the cuts on your legs.”
I sit up, propping myself on my palms and look down at my leggings which have no hope of repair. “Um… Can we just cut them away at my thighs?”
Without answering, Solas rips the fabric with his hands on my left thigh, then my right. Whoa. He soaks the rag again, but instead of wringing out the water, he squeezes it out to drip down my leg. It drips with a soft touch on the tops of my thigh, over the cut on my knee, and down my shin, streaming down like a light rain on a window pane.
When my legs are clean, he wraps ice into a dry cloth and lays it across my left knee. It seems to have taken the brunt of the collision. “Keep this here for about ten minutes. When you feel you can stand on your own, you can take a bath if you’d like. You should be good as new in the morning.”
“Thank you, again.”
Solas shakes his head, “Let me know if there's anything else I can do for you. Cassius and Beckett will be just outside. I'll send new sheets up for you.” He bends down to clean up the bloody rags and water and leaves the ice for me.
When he turns to leave, I call out to him, “Solas?” He pauses and glances over his shoulder. “I don’t have much longer until my transformation is complete. I would like to continue with my training tomorrow. Is there a space for that? Or may I go back out to the cliffs?”
“You've been training?” he twists his body to see me better.
“Yeah. Well, kind of. But there's a lot I need work on.”
“I'll have the Griffins escort you to the Throne Room in the morning, contingent on your body’s ability to heal quickly.”
I smile. “Thanks, Chief,” I tease him.
Solas turns and leaves, but not before I catch the grin on his face.
I wonder if Beleth has the ability to hear my thoughts as well. If that’s the case, I’m screwed, and I’m never getting out of here. I’m so sorry, Jack. I need to get a message to him. I have no phone, and I’m out in the middle of nowhere. The guys seem nice. Maybe I can get them on my side and see if they'll let me go. I don’t know. Hell.
My lacerations appear to be closing. I swing my legs over the bed and stand with slow deliberation, expecting to fall. It still hurts, but I can manage the pain. I limp into the bathroom and fill the tub to take a bath. It takes a while, but I manage to fill the stone tub enough to submerge my body. Slipping into the steaming water, it warms the chill in my bones. It feels so good to relax, and I fall asleep.
Jack's sitting in a chair on my balcony. Alice and Eric stand around him. His leg's bouncing as he smokes a cigarette, and they begin to argue with each other.
“There’s got to be some fucking way to find where Beleth is keeping her!” Jack yells.
“We’re doing our best! Maybe you should have protected her better!” Eric yells back with fists at his sides.
Jack erupts from his chair, pushing it away from him, and gets into Eric’s face, growling. Alice jumps between them and tries to pull them apart, “This is getting us nowhere. We need to work together.”
I float above them, watching the scene unfold. “Come on, Jack. I’m ok. I’m holding out as long as I can. Please come find me,” I try to tell him.
Jack’s head whips around the balcony, and he peeks into the room and back outside. His eyes widen as he calls out to me, “Ivy?”
Alice and Eric look back and forth from each other to Jack with confusion on their faces.
Did he hear me? How the hell does that work? I’ve got to be dreaming.
“Jack, can you hear me?” I call out.
“Jack?” Alice tries to pull his attention back.
“I can feel her essence,” he whispers. "She's pulling to me."
“Oh, shit,” Eric’s arms fall to his sides. “Tell me you didn’t bind with Ivy.” Jack doesn’t answer him.
Alice shouts, “Jack! You know you can’t do that! It’s against the rules! She needs to be able to choose on her own! You’ve broken a fundamental law! If Michael finds out, he’ll punish you! He can take your wings! Was it worth the risk?”
Jack’s head snaps, “Yes! But there was no formal sacrament. The bond isn't complete!” he growls. Alice rubs her temples.
Eric speaks up, his anger wavering, “What’s done is done. Maybe we can use this to our advantage.”
“This is the first time I’ve been able to feel her. We can follow the pull, but I don’t know how long it'll last.” I watch them take off into the sky. “I’m coming, Ivy. I promise to find you,” Jack vows.
I jolted awake, splashing cold water over the edge of the stone tub. How long was I out? My cuts are gone. I begin to tremble from the cold water. Getting out and drying off, I turn thoughts over in my head for clarification. What did Eric mean by ‘binding’ with me? We only had sex. If Michael finds out, he’ll take his wings?
I dress and plait my hair again to the side. I'm freezing cold and shivering. I start a fire in the hearth and sit in front of the flames. I light a cigarette and play with my lighter. Fire can be a weapon. But how can I use it against Beleth? What does a ‘complete binding’ consist of? How much longer until my complete transformation? What’s going to happen after I do? I’m tired of being locked up with nothing to do except stew.
“Hey, Cassius?” I call out, hoping he can hear me.
“Yes?” he answers, opening the door.
“Do you guys have to stand outside my door or can you come in and keep me company?”
“We may. Is everything ok?” he inquires as they come inside and shut the door behind them.
“I guess. It’s just quiet, and my thoughts are loud. I’m tired of thinking.”
“I see. May we sit with you?” he gestures to the floor beside me.
“Please?”
They both smile and sit across from me, opposite the roaring fire.
“What is worrying you?” Cassius voices.
“A lot, actually. What day is it? I’d like to know how much longer I have until my transformation.”
“It is October fifth.”
“I’ve been here for a week already!”
No wonder Jack's flipping out.
“Yes. When's your transformation?” Beckett muses.
“Thirteen days,” I tell him.
“Do you worry about the transformation?”
“A little, but I think I’m ready. I’m tired of not being able to defend myself.” They nod in unison. “What does it mean to ‘bind’ to someone?”
Their eyes widen, and Cassius answers me, “A binding…is almost the equivalent of a human marriage. Except, a binding between creatures is much more intense and eternal. There is a ceremony performed in which a piece of each being’s essence is taken and placed inside their mate, binding the two essences together eternally. After the ceremony is consummated, the two essences bind on a permanent level. They will be able to feel their mate’s presence wherever they go. They will be able to share thoughts as well. No matter the distance between them.”
I study the flames in the hearth as I listen.
Beckett acknowledges my concentration, “Do you worry of the binding with Beleth?”
My head snaps to him, “What?”
“There's nothing to be scared of. Your connection to Beleth will make you stronger and more untouchable—”
I cut Beckett off and stand up, “What are you talking about? I’m not binding with Beleth!”
&nb
sp; The two Sentries look to each other and back to me. Cassius tries to calm me down, “Ivy. Did you not know?”
“No! I don’t want to marry or bind to Beleth! I won’t do it! He’s a monster!” I instantly regret my choice of words as Cassius’ head drops, and Beckett turns his face to the fire. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean you're monsters.”
“No. We are,” Beckett voices in a bleak chagrin tone. “All of us here are monsters. There are some who choose to embrace the Darkness, but some of us mourn the loss of the Light.” His eyes meet mine, and I fall to my knees before them. “Beleth is a creature of complete Darkness. There's no one who dares not fear him or defy his will.”
“Except you, Ivy,” Cassius adds with seriousness. “We have been taken aback by your courage to stand up to him.”
“Stupidity is more like it,” I roll my eyes.
“No,” he continues. “We understand why you would not want to bind with him, but you're vulnerable, even after your transformation. There will be creatures sent to destroy you. There has never been another being like you. With your binding to Beleth, you also receive all that is his, and that means us. We will forever protect you.”
“Do I have a choice?” They both shake their heads. “I’m scared. What if he decides I’m too much of a threat and kills me?”
“Never,” Cassius interjects. “We have pledged our loyalty to your safety. That means even if we have to protect you from him.”
“Can you help me escape?” I request with my eyes closed in fear of his reply.
“We cannot defy Beleth’s command unless we are freed from his reign, or he tries to harm you. If that day ever comes, I can honestly tell you we would,” Cassius admits in a whisper.
Tears brim my eyes and stream down my cheeks, “I can’t tell you the amount of gratitude and love I feel for your friendship.” My voice is shaky and uneven.
“Love?” Beckett repeats.
I look up to meet the surprise on their faces. “Well… Yes. Like brotherly love.”
“How can you feel love for monsters like us?” Beckett inquires.
“Maybe I don’t know that side of you. But to me, it doesn’t matter. I see the good in you, whether or not you do.”
“We do not understand,” Cassius stresses.
“Then, let me try to show you,” I look to them for permission, and they agree with slight confusion in their eyes. I try to explain further, “See, one of my abilities is empathy. I’ve only been able to feel a person’s emotions by touch, but it also lets me see their souls or essences. I’ve been thinking about the possible developments of this ability. Maybe if I try, I can push those feelings back into you to let you see for yourself.”
They look at me with fear and awe. Cassius stands. “Ivy, I don’t think you want to do this. We are creatures of the Dark. We have done things that would terrify you, and I do not wish to dwell on them.”
“Cass, it doesn’t reveal your deeds, only true emotion and being.”
Cassius nods, “Then, I’ll go first.” He kneels down on both knees and sits back on his feet in front of the fire.
I kneel down in front of him and let out a relaxing breath. “Are you ready?” With his eyes squeezed shut, he nods. “I need you to look at me.” His gray eyes meet mine.
Without breaking my eyes from his, my hands come up to rest on his shoulders, tentative with what may transpire. Cassius’ pupils dilate, and his emotions begin to flow into me. Fear, loyalty, courage, loneliness, pain. His essence is a caged animal trying to break free. But he would never disobey for fear of death that will send him back home to Sheol. I sense his hate. Not for others, but for himself. He doesn’t want to be a monster any more than I do. He's in limbo, enslaved to Darkness as a prisoner. But, I sense Light in the Darkness. My protector is capable of redemption and wants it badly. Needs it.
I retain his tortured essence and tears streak my face. He deserves so much more. I push the reflection of his being and force it through my body. My chest tingles. The sensation travels into my shoulders, arms, palms, and departs through my fingers. Cassius tenses. A light emanates from the center of his wide, black pupils—a candle in the darkness. The tingle leaves my chest, and I feel it fade from my body through my fingertips.
Tears brim Cassius’ eyes as they return to their exquisite gray. Bringing my hands to each side of his face, I look at him in knowing, “See? There is good in you, Cassius. Don’t give up. Everyone deserves a chance at redemption.” He shakes his head and looks down in disbelief. I lean forward and place a soft kiss on top of his head.
“What was that?” Beckett acknowledges. I sit back, letting go of Cassius.
“A Light in the Darkness, brother,” Cassius tells him with gentleness.
“Are you ready, Beck?” I offer as Cassius moves over for his brother to take his place. “Try to keep eye contact with me.”
“Ok,” he confirms.
I note the nervous tension in his body as I place my palms on his shoulders. Terror, anxiety, adoration, valor, pride, grief, sorrow, heartache. Beckett’s essence feels obligated to protect his brother and sister, though he constantly feels compelled to break free even if it means his death. He doesn’t like to be controlled by the Darkness. He wants his freedom and longs for a soul of his own as a human. Beckett yearns for a chance at redemption. And there I find a light in the darkness of his essence.
I try to do the same thing with Beckett that I did with Cassius and push everything back to Beckett, from my chest to my fingertips and to his body. Beckett gasps when the light hits his eyes. As the tingling leaves my body, I let go of him. He collapses, shaking, and I realize he's crying.
I don’t know what else to do. I fold my body over his. “Shh. It’s ok. It’ll be ok,” I rub his back and soothe him until his shuddering stops. I lift my body off of his back and look to Cassius.
Beckett sits up, “Ivy. What you did… I could never have seen myself the way you see me. It gives me hope that one day…maybe St. Peter will reconsider.”
“It’s not how I see you, Beck. It’s what's already there.”
I smile to them and reach my hands out to help them up, “I’m glad it worked. I’ve never done that before. I wasn’t sure it would work at all.” They each take a hand and lift themselves up. I pull them into me and hug them both. Without hesitation, they hug me back. “Alright, guys. That really wore me out. I think I’m going to get some rest. Thank you for keeping me company.”
“Will you reconsider binding with Beleth?” Cassius suggests.
“I don’t really know how to handle that whole situation. Maybe I’ll just sleep on it,” I tell him.
“Right. Well, we are right outside if you need us,” he reiterates.
“Thank you.”
Chapter 16
“It's time, Princess,” I'm shaken awake and pulled from the same nightmare as the night before, ruling over a legion with thick tar streaming down our faces. My eyes shoot open, and my hand seizes the throat of the man hovering above me. Rage pours through my veins at my attacker. Then, I realize that it's Solas. His eyes wide in shock as he places a hand on my wrist, requesting his release.
I relinquish my grip at once and sit straight up. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” I shake my head with guilt.
“You're safe here, Princess. We won't let anything happen to you.”
Images from my dream flash in my mind, and I shake my head to clear my thoughts. Solas regards me with confusion. Can he see my nightmare or only hear my thoughts?
“It was just a dream,” I attempt to excuse my thoughts.
Solas nods in acceptance and stands, “I've prepared the Throne Room for your training.” The slight twitching movements of his wings hint aggravation.
I swing my legs over the bed and pluck a cigarette from my pack. After letting out a calming stream of smoke from my lungs, I walk to my dresser and find clothes I'll be able to move around in with ease. My whole body's on edge from my nightmare, and I’m ready to let out
some tension. I dress in the bathroom and come out to finish my cigarette as I detect Solas’ uneasiness again, “Is everything ok? You seem…upset.”
He clears his throat, “Beleth arrived last night. He'll be watching you train today.” My spine goes rigid. “He can be ruthless. He'll push you. But from what I’ve seen, you'll rise from it even stronger.”
I swallow hard and flick my cigarette into the hearth before following him. We pass the Dining Hall on our way to the Throne Room, and I hate the sound of our steps through the silence as it reminds me I'm a prisoner. Ricocheting off the columns in the cavernous Throne Room, our footfalls resonate even louder. Beleth's seated on his throne of obsidian and doesn’t appear very pleased with me. His glare rakes over me and sends an angry fire through my veins. I step to the center of the otherwise empty room before him, and Solas leaves my side to stand next to his monarch.
“Solas informs me that you have requested training,” Beleth announces. I don't answer his assessing non-question and meet his fixed gaze with equal irritation. “I believe it is time for you to learn what will be expected of you anyhow. I hope you do not mind, I have requested an audience. My legion contains some of the best fighters from the underworld. They will be able to critique your form and teach you a thing or two.”
I become nervous about the prospect. I can’t let him get to me like this. I can’t afford to be unprepared again.
“Bring them in!” he roars to his left without peering away from me. Cassius and Beckett march in, leading at least fifty Fallen warriors.
Damn.
Each of them takes their places along the walls behind the columns to give me plenty of space. Beleth sneers with malice, “Let us see what you can do. The best way to see what you are capable of is to jump in feet first.” Solas’ eyes widen as he reads Beleth’s thoughts. “Ryker!” Beleth calls in a commanding voice. A bald angel steps forward from my left and tightly turns to my captor in one swift movement of military precision. Beleth acknowledges him with the incline of his head.
Ryker loosens his stance and turns to me with an evil grin. I cringe inside at the size of him, yet don't let it show. It's evident his unmistakable strength will supersede my own.
The Helio Trilogy: Volumes 1-3 Page 20