As he reaches the door, I lift my head from Jack's chest and croak, “Dad?” He turns with a small smile. “Thank you.” He inclines his head in acknowledgment and exits the room.
Jack pulls my attention from the doorway, his green eyes watching me closely, “I thought I lost you.”
I try to force a smile on my lips, but it fails to flourish, “You’ve got my back.”
“I’m sorry it took so long. We couldn’t find you. I couldn’t feel you. Then, something changed today, and there was a faint pull. I knew it was you,” he states with the soft tone of sorrow.
“I’m sorry, Jack.”
“Shh, I’m going to carry you to the bathroom so we can get you cleaned up.” I nod my head and wrap my arms around his neck, reveling in his closeness.
Jack lets me down easy to stand on my shaky legs, and I lean against the sink. I catch my reflection in the mirror while he fills the tub with clean, warm water. Dry blood stains my skin, my wings are missing handfuls feathers, and my ribcage is adorned with three deep claw marks oozing with blood. The edges of the open lacerations are crusted with dry blood and dirt, indicating its active healing.
I tuck my wings behind me and hold myself, embarrassed by my appearance. Jack retrieves a few towels and lays them on the counter. He asks, “Do you want me to stay?”
I bite my lip and nod without meeting his eyes. “I don’t want to be alone right now,” I mumble.
I sit on the edge of the tub, carefully inching my underwear down my legs before slipping them over my toes. I shift my legs over the precipice of the tub and glide them into the water. The gore from my skin stains the water in a brown tinge. I watch the color swirl for a moment, lost in its hypnotizing dance. After pulling my tattered wings inside myself, I reach behind me to unclasp my bra and let it fall off my arms. The water clouds over and stings the various lesions on my body as I ease into the water.
Jack comes to kneel beside the tub with a washcloth in his hand. “Here,” he says, plunging the cloth into the water, void of reservation. He squeezes the water out before brushing my hair away from my face and removing the blood and dirt from my cheeks with his gentle caress. As he continues to wash away the damage of the past three weeks, his calming touch relaxes my body. The silence between us is a welcoming modulation in comparison to the constant screams and roaring flames of Sheol.
Jack holds a towel out for me, “I’ll go see what’s in the closet.”
I stand up and let him wrap the towel around me before stepping out of the murky water. “Thank you,” I rasp, my voice not fully recovered from the constant strain of screaming. He leaves me a moment, and I pull the edge of the towel back to check my wounds in the mirror. Their superficial appearance seems to be fading at a steady pace.
“You’re healing a lot faster,” Jack notes.
Letting the towel fall back into place, I take the clothes he offers. “Yeah. A lot faster.”
“Well, someone's dying to see you. I’ll let you get dressed,” he says before closing the door behind him.
My heart thuds in my chest. Solas? With shaky hands, I put on the dark gray sweats and white shirt. I twist my hair up into a bun and take a deep breath before returning to the bedroom.
Alice paces back and forth at the foot of my bed, biting the nail of her thumb. When her eyes fall on me, she sprints over, and our bodies collide in a tight embrace. Relief, love, joy. “I’m so glad you’re alright,” she cries.
Even though ‘alright’ is an understatement, I tell her, “Me too.”
“We were so worried. It happened so fast. No one knew Lucian was evanescent.”
We release each other from our embrace, and silent tears run down our faces. I ask, “What's evanescent?”
She sniffles and rolls her eyes, “His little vanishing trick.”
“He had more tricks up his sleeve than any of us could've suspected.”
An unspoken sorrow passes between us before she speaks again, “Everyone's waiting for you downstairs. They want to hear what happened. Are you up for it?”
“Not really, but I need to anyways.”
Hand in hand, Alice and I descend the steps to meet everyone in the entertainment room. I can’t help but feel I may be dreaming as I absorb my surroundings. I wonder if I'm really here or if I'm still trapped in Sheol and hallucinating. We turn the corner into the entertainment room. I'm greeted with looks of shock and warm embraces all around before I'm ushered to sit on the sofa. Everyone's here. Alice, Eric, Jack, Evelyn, Michael, my father, Cass, Beck, Thea—everyone but Solas. I look to Cass and Beck standing in front of the cold hearth with their arms crossed over their chests, “Where’s Solas?”
Beckett glances at his brother and lets his gaze fall to his feet. Cassius’ expression falls, never looking away from me, “We don’t know.”
“What do you mean? How do you not know? Where is he?” Fear surges through me.
Eric clears his throat, “We haven’t seen him since you disappeared.” I stare at him in disbelief. “Since he sent Jack to the Ball in his place, he waited outside in his raven form so he could follow Lucian if he came out with you. When Lucian vanished with you, Jack and Solas worked together to find you. They followed their bond to you and found the warehouse. Solas went inside while the rest of us tried to find a way in. We could hear Solas speaking inside and thought he had it all under control. After Lucian had disappeared with you again, Solas took command of the legion left in the warehouse as Lucifer. We charged in, expecting to slay all of them, but they were gone… We haven’t heard from him since.”
“Maybe he’s still looking for me.”
“Sweetie,” Alice lays her hand on top of mine. “We thought that too at first, but it’s unlike him to not keep us updated.”
I look to my father for answers. He states, “We can only assume he has been accosted to Sheol and reassigned into a new legion.”
I'm stunned silent as everyone waits for my reaction. “Michael?” I croak, my vocal cords on the mend.
“Yes?”
“What are the chances of him being released from his new assignment?” I ask, feeling small and hopeless.
Michael’s eyes soften, “I am sorry, Ivy. The only way to be released from a fallen legion is the elimination of their essence or of their commander's essence.”
Silent tears fall down my cheeks and blur my vision. Alice puts her arm around me, and I turn my face into her embrace. He’s gone. I’m never going to see him again. We'll forever be set against each other. He'll always be a Warrior of Darkness because of me, and I'll never be able to ask for his forgiveness.
When I regain my composure, I pull away from Alice to wipe my face. Jack stoops down in front of me, “I’m really sorry, Ivy. But we need to know everything that happened to you. Can you do that?”
I hesitate before I agree. “Can I get a drink first?”
“Anything, Sunshine.” Jack rises and kisses the top of my head. “I’ll be right back.”
I squirm as I wait for Jack to return. Michael steps forward, “Ivy, I am happy to see you safely returned to us. I must go now. There are matters I need to handle immediately. I will return to check on you as soon as I am able.”
“Like my mother?” I ask coldly, knowing I should have more respect when speaking to an angel of his ilk.
Michael hesitates before letting my disrespect slide, “She will be taken care of soon. It is a delicate situation.”
“I see,” I respond. Michael’s excuse to avoid his decision in sending Lilith to Purgatory or eliminate her makes me believe he has another agenda he's keeping to himself. Jack returns with a bottle of water and a short glass of what smells like scotch. “Thanks.” I down the scotch in one large gulp before consuming the entire bottle of water.
Michael bids everyone farewell and vanishes to wherever he's needed. Azrael takes a seat in the open high-backed chair next to Evelyn, and Jack takes the open seat beside me. I release a heavy sigh before I mumble, “Do you really need
to hear everything? I would rather skim over some of what happened.”
“Tell us whatever you think's important, dear,” Evelyn says.
I nod, holding back the tears that want to escape. “When I first had my visions of Lucian, you were all skeptical that it was really him. You talked about him being a failure and a disappointment to his father. Something must have happened that's changed him. He's vicious, cruel, merciless, and more dangerous than you gave him credit for. Maybe it’s because I killed Beleth. Lucian spoke of him often. I think they were close at one time. I’m not sure where he was keeping me within Sheol that you couldn’t find me.”
Azrael interjects, “I believe he was using wards to cloak you from being found. If Lucian disobeyed his father’s orders not to harm you and continued to hold you within Sheol, he would have been forced to conceal your location. Even though it was Solas who demanded he not harm you, Lucian knows his father is aware of every essence within his realm. If Lucifer could feel your presence, Lucian would have been forced to relinquish you to his father.” I nod in understanding, trying not to let thoughts of Solas deter me from continuing.
“What else can you tell us?” Evelyn urges.
I release a heavy breath and proceed, “I was kept in a cave at all times. The only lighting was from the few torches on the walls. Even the ground was sharp, jagged rock. I refused to speak to him most of the time, so he did a lot of the talking. Sometimes, I was so out of it I couldn’t understand what he was saying or asking. He wanted me to release my essence to him so he could have complete control over me. He wanted to use me against his father, so he could take over the throne of Sheol. I didn’t understand why Beleth’s death set his plan in motion or why, all of a sudden, his father’s throne matters to him. Only in my last moments in there did I get my answer.
“Lilith's been manipulating him. After three weeks, she showed herself to me. She said I was created for a purpose and called me her ‘little pigeon.’ From Lucian’s interactions with her in my presence, I gather he's doing all of this to please her. Maybe he gets something out of it. I don’t know. I think if Lucian ever obtained my consent while I was down there, he would've used me to kill Lucifer. In turn, he would rule next to Lilith, and I'm positive she would have eventually found a way to eliminate Lucian. I think she wants the throne for herself, and maybe even planned this since before I was conceived.”
“Where are they now?” Cassius inquires.
I glance over to Jack, who sits unblinking next to me. When he doesn’t respond to Cass’ question, I answer for him, “Jack took Lucian out. I imagine his essence will return to his father and he'll be able to regain his bodily form again. As for Lilith… She's very powerful. I tried to take her essence from her, but she was able to keep it from me and take it back. Then, she vanished… I don’t know where she is, but I know she’s not going to give up that easily. She'll be back for me. Maybe Lucian as well.”
The room becomes deathly still as they contemplate my capture and try to imagine what I went through. There's no need for me to touch each of them to understand what they must be feeling. Their guilt's obvious. Evelyn and Theodora stare off into the distance, not seeing anything beyond their own lashes. Beckett leans away from us on the mantle, his back turned and face burrowed into his crossed arms. Cassius is fuming as he glares to the rug at his feet, his right leg bouncing in agitation. Eric holds Alice against his massive form to soothe her worries. I watch his tense jaw twitch with controlled rage.
“Thank you, Ivy,” Azrael says, standing with arms wide. Without hesitation, I leap into his arms and embrace my father for the first time. Pride, Love. He pulls back to speak, “Let me know if you need anything. I will be checking in on you more regularly. I hope you do not mind.” I approve, and he releases me. “Do try and stay out of trouble, darling,” he grins and disappears.
Jack’s arms envelop me from behind, and I lay my head back into his sturdy chest. I close my eyes, “This isn’t over. They’re going to come back for me.”
He squeezes me tighter, “There's nothing we can do right now. Let’s get some rest.”
Pulling out of Jack’s embrace, I scan over everyone left in the room, “Will you all be staying?”
Eric and Alice rise from the sofa as one, holding hands. Eric gives me a small smile, “You know we will.”
“Absolutely,” Cassius says. Beckett and Theodora agree with him.
Evelyn pushes out of her chair and takes a step forward. She declares in a firm tone, “Well, you all better be staying. We're having Thanksgiving dinner next week, and we'll be celebrating Ivy’s return to us. I expect you all to be here.”
The corners of my mouth turn up, and I gaze over to Jack. His beautiful green eyes soften. “We’re glad your home, Sunshine.”
Home. It’s the most unexpected and unfamiliar feeling. A feeling I didn’t know I longed for or needed. I moved to Red Meadow emotionally closed off, reckless, and craving to change my life. Instead, Red Meadow changed me. I let myself love and be loved. I allowed others to guide me and stand resolutely by my side, and I found I couldn't always save myself. Most importantly, I realized that true family is not always blood, and blood is not always family.
With the discovery of my angelic nature and the purpose behind my creation, my freedom's become forfeit. Now more than ever, I'm determined to change the fate my mother's planned for me. I'll become a force of nature she never expected. I'll protect my family and my home with my entire being, even if it destroys me. The days where I lived for the thrill of my own freedom have long departed. Now, I'm forced to fight for that freedom. One thing's for certain, I won’t have to fight alone.
Epilogue
It’s been five days since Jack and my father rescued me from Lucian’s torture in Sheol. I've found ways to distract myself during the day from dwelling on my stay there, but there's been no relief while I sleep. After a night of screams coming from my bedroom, Jack requested to stay with me during the night.
The first night was awkward between us. Jack had laid on top of the covers like he used to and held my hand as we slept. It was liberating to have his calming presence stifle my memories from surfacing. The second night was less awkward, but the constant tingle and magnetic pull between us made it harder to fall asleep. The third night Jack stayed with me, I insisted he got under the covers with me. With winter setting in, it was even colder for our higher body temperatures, and I refused to light a fire since my return because it gave me flashbacks. Plus, I needed him to be closer. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and hold me tight through the night. And he did.
Today was Thanksgiving Day and my fifth day home. We both had entirely too much to eat, too much to drink and exhausted ourselves with hours of tackle football with our friends—which became interesting once Beckett extended the field to the sky. I climb into my bed with Jack, and we watch the snow fall on my balcony in silence. He caresses my hair until he thinks I'm asleep, then kisses my temple with his soft lips. “Goodnight, Sunshine,” he whispers.
A tear slips from the corner of my eye. I've missed this man so much. After he had died from the Qeres Beleth injected him with, I didn’t think I would ever see him again. I've missed his touch, his kiss, his affection. But Solas is out there somewhere, and I need to find him. I need to confront him and apologize for being a factor in his fall. I need to see his face and make sure he's ok. My relationship with Solas may be changed forever, but I'll always hold a special place in my heart for him.
I open my eyes to Jack’s beautiful face beside me. I'm wrapped in his arms with our legs entwined. Sliding out of bed, I grab my robe and slide it on to watch the sun rise through the French doors. The snow's stopped, and the world is so quiet it seems to have paused. The sun begins to break through the trees in the distance as it rises, and I catch a glimmer of gold on top of the table outside. I step closer to the French doors, squinting against the glare. The object is not gold. I open the doors and slip outside. Deliberately placed in
a soft mound of snow on top of the table is a black envelope with my name scratched across the middle in gold. I glance around the terrace to see if anyone's watching me. I pluck the envelope from the snow and dust it off. Turning the envelope over, I tear it open to reveal a single folded, pale parchment with golden flecks. Unfolding the letter, my sense of optimism turns to sorrow.
My Dearest Ivy,
I've been a fool. I regret the mistakes I've made in the past. Loving you was never one of them. It's been my mission from the beginning to prevent the Darkness from reaching you. It's clear to me what I must do now. I'll stay below and slay your enemies as long as I can, but if I fail and Darkness comes for you, face it stoically. Don't let it defeat you. Fight. Let the unquenchable strength of your spirit prevail, and the Light within you blind your enemies.
I understand now. I was never your destiny. Don't be frightened or sad I won't be returning. Please, don't search for me. Your existence will continue to push me through the brightest days and the darkest nights. You'll forever remain a permanent imprint on my heart and my essence. I've been awakened, and now I have no misgivings of your future. It's not me.
Eternally,
Solas
Acknowledgments
Jeremy Roeseler, your continued support and love have inspired me to pursue my dreams and live life to the fullest. I love you.
Angela Hill, thank you for your unwavering enthusiasm and knowledge that encouraged me to bring this book to life.
Also, a huge thank you to my Beta Team, Bryawna Hogue, Sophie Krywult, Katie McFayden, Christina Sabovich, and Brenna Wilson for taking a chance on me.
THANK YOU FOR READING!
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Gilded Inferno
The Helio Trilogy: Volumes 1-3 Page 39