by Serena Vale
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that it wouldn’t last. She would eventually have to go back to the real world. She hadn’t eaten anything all day and her stomach was rumbling with hunger, and her throat felt cracked with thirst. But it hadn’t been that kind of sustenance that she had needed today. She had needed what had always been her best asset: time alone.
She had pondered over many things, most of them tied to what was going to happen to her life now. What was she going to do? Drop out of school? Go back home? Tell mom and dad what she had done and hope that they forgave her? Would she tell them the whole truth? Would she decide to keep this whole thing a secret? What if they somehow learned about this latest little explosion on the internet and read the stories and the comments for themselves and were able to draw their own conclusions?
Yes, these thoughts had weighed down on her tremendously. But they had only been half of what she had been thinking of. The other half of her moral dilemma revolved around Rick.
She felt uncertain pangs in her heart just thinking about him. She was angry with him, but at the same time she found that she missed him. It was a horrible contradiction in emotions. Were this any other day then by now they would be at the library studying. Maybe they would be at a dining hall in one of the other dormitories and talk about how they could make their experiment better.
Or maybe they would be…
No!
She pushed those thoughts aside with an angry grunt and sat up. No, she couldn’t afford to think of that. Yes… last night had been amazing… she had never been with anyone before, and she had savored the sensations. But now she felt that she had leaped to conclusions. She’d allowed childlike wonderment to carry off her sense of logic and reasoning, and now she was paying the price for it.
She had just been a diversion. A bump on the road in the life of Rick Tigh’s eventual rise to sports fandom and he would, as he apparently had done many times, just run her over and press on until he got to where he was going. Wherever that was, it wouldn’t involve her in the least of ways; she would be nothing but a footnote.
She sighed at that. The more she thought about it, the more she was willing to accept it.
Yes, there were things that she had to do here. She had to leave school. She remembered the socio-social politics of every school she had been to. And the politics usually dictated that sports stars – usually football stars – were the ones who had the most sway in anything. It was their lives that were followed most closely and when they clapped the rest of the school danced to the beat. The academics, like herself, were supposed to go by unnoticed. And for something like this, after what Nichole had done, no one would ever believe her side of the story.
That had given her pause as well. What was her side of the story? She had been paired with Rick Tigh in chem lab, and unwillingly at that. He’d been an ass. He’d pretended to be dumber than he really was so that he could just skate by doing the minimal amount of work.
But then he’d changed, and she’d been there to witness it. He’d changed his character. He’d become more outspoken, shown he was more intelligent than he let on, and done work that even she hadn’t considered doing.
It had been… nice.
And somewhere along the way, she realized, she had begun to like him. Not just as a study partner and not even just as a friend. But she had really begun to like him. She knew that for certain, otherwise last night would never have happened.
But it did.
And she’d wanted it to.
Yeah, and look where that got me.
Okay, maybe this would be a mistake that would rival any other that she had ever made or would ever make. Maybe she never would recover from it. Her mind had explored the possibility of going all the way to the dean’s office to lodge a complaint against Nichole for what she had done. But the more she thought about it, she began to wonder if it would really be worth all of the trouble. The whole campus had already made up its mind about her, and she felt sicker for it. Perhaps it was just better to leave and find someplace new to educate herself… like maybe a small community college back home where there were no sports teams and everyone was focused on academia. It would be easier for her to disappear then.
The idea of a clean slate held more than a little appeal. Sure, she liked this school, and it had been her first choice for higher education. But after this, the whole place suddenly seemed tainted after seeing that the whole of the student body would be so quick to turn against her for something that was, by and large, not wrong in the least of ways.
What was out there in the world to learn could be learned from anywhere. That was the brilliance of books, the internet, and even people who had dedicated themselves to learning this, that, or the other. The information didn’t change based on where one sat in a classroom, but dedication to obtaining that information depended solely on the person who wanted it.
That last thought brought her up short.
She thought back to Rick today… on how he had said that he hadn’t known what was going on because of Nichole’s intent to slander her. She thought of how he had reacted to the photos she’d shown him and the horrible and hurtful words that he’d read. He’d been so casual about it, and that had hurt her. But she remembered the basis of adaptability: exposure to negative stimuli builds up a tolerance and eventually immunity. He’d been through this same thing so many times that it didn’t bother him. But she, on the other hand, had never been through something like this. Of course, she was going to react differently.
But that wasn’t what she thought about the most. What kept coming back to her was how he’d tried to talk her down… how she shouldn’t worry about it… how he’d even tried to remind her that they had class. His mind was on academics… on her feelings… and hers had been focused only on herself. She’d spoken hurtful words to him in the hope that he would show how hurt he was. That he would react somehow to this whole thing. But he had chalked it up to just another daily occurrence in the life of Rick Tigh.
Though she couldn’t explain it, her mind kept coming back to what he’d said and done – or tried to say and do – before she had walked away from him. He’d tried to reason with her. He’d had more to say, and she hadn’t listened to him, she had been so overcome with emotions.
As a scientist she realized that that had been a big mistake; letting her emotions get the better of her like that.
Inadvertently her eyes went back to her backpack. Though she couldn’t see it, her cell phone beckoned her. She nervously twiddled her fingers together, wondering if it was a wise idea to pick her phone up and check what it kept buzzing over.
She knew what to expect: more updates about Rick Tigh and his new girlfriend, more hateful comments of people that had seen her and him together, and likely more of Nichole’s – and probably some of her sorority rush pals – making mean comments about her.
Her shoulders sank. “I can’t avoid it forever,” she said to herself.
Mustering her courage she reached into her backpack and pulled her phone out. With a final calming breath she swiped it to life.
“89 messages, 1 new voicemail,” the startup screen read.
“Huh?”
She opened her phone and had a look at the roster of unread messages. Her eyes widened with surprise when she saw who they were all from.
Nichole.
Not just some, all of them.
She opened the first message, curious and fearful, and what she read there was just as she had predicted it would be.
‘How does it feel, bitch?’
She had expected that. She opened the next.
‘Your fame is spreading. I would avoid the news kiosk in student plaza if I were you.’
She opened the next.
‘There’s a couple of stray dogs running around the campus. Friends of yours?’
‘Are you meeting Rick today? Be careful where you meet, there could be another camera waiting to catch a money shot of you two.’
&n
bsp; On and on the hurtful messages went. She had reached the nineteenth or twentieth message when suddenly Nichole’s messages changed.
‘I need your help,’ it said.
That surprised her. But not as much as when she opened the next message.
‘I’m sorry.’
She opened the text, and her amazement went on and on.
‘Sweetie, I need your help, please answer me.’
‘Jenny, I know I fucked up, but please I need your help now.’
‘Jenny, I’m being called to the dean’s office! I need your help!’
‘I need a character witness, sweetie! PLEASE help me!’
The words put a lush smile on Jenny’s face. She read the next message, and the next, and the next until she finally reached the final message. Though she didn’t know what the outcome had been, she was able to determine that somehow, someone had managed to point the finger at Nichole as the source of all of the horrible things that had been said and done today, and now she was being drilled for it.
Cyber-bullying laws, Jenny suddenly realized.
Suddenly it felt like she was sitting in a beam of divine light and the weight of crushing pressure was lifted from off of her shoulders. Nichole had taken a shot in the dark, and that bullet had somehow come back to do more harm to her than it had to anyone else.
So, there is such a thing as justice in the world!
She felt good… she felt amazing.
But the good feeling soured when she thought of Rick.
Rick! Oh, my god!
She moved her fingers across her screen and was about to dial his phone number when she saw the call history on her phone.
“1 Missed Call,” it said. And she recognized the number instantly. It was Rick’s. The voicemail!
She opened her voicemail box and put her phone to her ear and listened. She bit her lip nervously, waiting for the message that could only have been left by Rick. Panic and anticipation rocked her heart, wondering if his message would be angry… hurt… or something else.
“When you’re ready, turn around,” was all that the simple message said before the virtual Rick on the other side of the call hung up.
She paused, feeling a bolt of lightning shoot sideways across her heart. She turned as the message instructed, and sitting directly behind her on the edge of the 50-yard line marker was Rick.
He sat with his legs crossed, his backpack sitting beside him like he had been sitting there for hours. He watched her as she looked at him, his face looked worried… as if he feared what she might do once she realized he was there.
“Rick…” she half-gasped. “How long have you been sitting there?”
“Long enough,” he said back. He swallowed a lump that looked like it had formed in his throat as he stood up. “If you want me to leave…”
She dropped her phone and ran towards him with all of the speed that she could muster. She tackled him with speed and efficiency so profound that she could have made the team and knocked him onto his back, wrapping her arms around his neck. She planted her mouth on his with enough fiery passion to weld plates of steel together. And that, she found, was chemistry that she could enjoy beyond all others.
When their kiss broke, she felt flushed and relieved at the same time. And the look on Rick’s face was both impressed and equally as relieved as hers.
“So… everything is okay?” he asked, almost nervously. She kissed him again. “So… that’s a ‘yes’?”
She chuckled and playfully rapped his chest with her fist. “How long were you sitting here?”
He shrugged. “Only about an hour or so,” his expression became more solemn. “I was worried about you.”
The words sounded reassuring. “You were?” A thought crossed her mind. “How did you know where to find me?”
He rolled his eyes. “I said to myself, ‘If I were Jenny, where would I go to hide where no one would think to look for me?’ The answer was pretty clear to me, and it only made sense that you would hide in a place dedicated to football… someplace where you thought that I would never look for you.”
She blushed, “Am I that predictable?”
He didn’t answer right away, but his expression remained somewhat worried. “I went after you when you walked out, but I lost you in the crowd.”
She lowered her eyes shamefully. “I’m sorry I missed class.” The words were hollow and completely untrue; that wasn’t what she was sorry for.
“It’s okay… I took my voice recorder to class today, I recorded the whole thing. You won’t fall behind.”
She was slightly relieved by that, but there was still more that she had to make up for. But before she could formally apologize she needed more information. “What happened?”
He smirked. “Let’s just say that the kinds of skill sets you find in a frat house are amazing.”
She frowned in confusion. “Huh?”
He smirked. “I had filed a complaint against Nichole weeks ago… just after we broke up. So there happened to be a report on her that established a precedent for unstable behavior on her part after all of the shit she was putting me through. And then as for today… well… I happened to have a frat brother of mine do a little computer work that was able to trace the I.P. address where those photos of you and I originated and wouldn’t you know it, it was Nichole’s? It somehow that that I.P. address was leaked out to the provost’s office… campus security… even the dean’s personal computer and then everyone knew who started this whole thing.”
She was able to infer that in this case “a little computer work” was code for “hacking.” Normally she would have thought this to be a very shady thing to do, but she didn’t care. Not this time.
“And then?” she pressed.
He smiled, almost wolfishly. “Well… let’s just say that’s when the real firestorm started and Nichole was in the eye of the whole thing. There were blogs about Nichole – some of them even artfully written – that started popping up faster than porn advertisements from an e-bomb. And more pictures of her – in rather compromising positions – began to surface.” He rolled his eyes sickly, “It’s amazing what some girls would do during a sorority rush.”
She gasped delightfully, wondering how Nichole had reacted to such things and imagining her redheaded roommate cracking under pressure. An image of Nichole, breaking down crying, filled her mind.
“In any event, the shit she tried to pull on you and me paled in comparison. All of her would-be sorority sisters – and everyone else for that matter – started to bail on her like rats on a sinking ship. Nobody would help her. She was called to the dean’s office for it. Apparently, cyber-bullying – and a few other kinds of bullying – are very serious crimes. And since they couldn’t reach you – but a reliable source assured that you were unharmed – the dean laid formal charges against her on the school’s behalf.”
She didn’t need to ask who the reliable source was or how he’d told them. All she needed to know was that people had seen the truth of these horrible events and that she wouldn’t be blamed for any of it. She smiled, realizing why Nichole had chosen to sing a different tune so fast. That’s why she apologized… she thought that I would help her. “How long ago was that?”
He looked at his watch, “About two hours ago. If I had to guess, she’s packing up her half of your dorm room right now… with your R.A. and a couple of campus security men standing watch probably. Apparently cyber-bullying – not to mention those rather compromising pictures – outweighed her ambition.”
He smiled and got to his feet, bringing her with him. They simply stood there for a long time, holding each other. He rested his forehead against hers like he had last night and she savored it. Being alone on this empty practice field felt good. It felt as if there really was a patch of the earth that belonged only to them and it felt right that they should share it.
“Listen…” he said after what felt like a long time. “About us…” he licked his lips nervously. “I like wha
t we have, the old and the new. I mean, especially the new.”
She felt her old doubt nagging at her. “But, Rick, how do I know that I’m not just another of your conquests? How do I know that you’re not just going to brush me off like you did Nichole and move on? What about your dad?”
He shook his head dismissively. “It took being with Nichole to realize that I had been on a kamikaze run my whole life. I was with all those other girls knowing that it was going to end ugly because that’s what my dad told me to be like.” He paused, gently stroking the side of her face. “And then, I was paired with you in class.”
She felt a flutter in her heart.
“You were the first one – the only one – in my whole life who told me that I was an asshole. You actually made me feel stupid about pretending to be, well, stupid. Everyone just kind of assumed that I was the dumb-jock and thought that I wasn’t capable of being something better than that.” He smiled softly at her. “I liked that.”
She smiled back.
“And as for my dad… don’t worry about him, Jenny. I’m here on a football scholarship that I earned… not him. I got it because I killed myself playing high school ball to get it. He had nothing to do with how I got here. I’m sure being his son didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t because of anything he did that got me here. Plus, he’s two thousand miles away on the other side of the country. He can’t tell me what to do from there. It was different when I had him standing over my shoulder and watching my every move, but that’s not the case anymore. I wanted him to notice me… to be proud of me. Well, I’ve done that. Now I feel like I just want him to ignore me, at least for a little while.”
A brew of emotions welled up inside of her. It sounded very much like he was speaking the thoughts of her mind, but inverted. She would have given anything to be invisible and unnoticed by the rest of the world. And Rick had wanted that too, but he had seemed to relish his fame. It was strange to hear him speak like this.
“It was never hard for me to get top marks in school before now and it won’t be now… especially if I have you to help me.”