Nights, thankfully, were dreamless.
Mr. Rush did little to mask the hostility in his eyes as we sat down in the barely used formal living room. I’d never been as close to Logan’s father as I had his mother, but even his mother sat as far away from me as possible and avoided eye contact. I wished Morgan could have been there, but she finally found a job as a receptionist at our dad’s car dealership, affording her no off time during the weekend.
“How do you know that you’re pregnant, Roam? Have you seen a doctor?” Mrs. Rush’s voice was soft, comforting.
I tried not to squirm in my seat like a chastised child. “I… some symptoms… I have an appointment in two weeks,” I stumbled, my voice shaking uncontrollably. Embarrassed, I took a deep breath. Logan watched me carefully, finally standing up and walking across the room to me. He sat next to me on the loveseat, taking my hands in his. Only then did I realize I’d twisted them in my lap so violently, deep, half-moon cuts appeared on palms from my fingernails. I looked up at him.
“We didn’t plan this, but we can plan everything else going forward. The baby should be born before her eighteenth birthday, and she will still be covered under Mr. Camden’s insurance. I’ll pay any co-pays or medical costs that aren’t covered. I still plan to leave for boot camp in August of next year. That means you will not be able to go away to college right away,” he turned to me, explaining in a gentle tone.
“Assuming you keep the baby,” Mr. Rush broke in. “There are other options…,”
“This baby is our number one priority,” Logan interrupted firmly, his dark eyes blazing. “No matter what, the baby comes first.”
My dad’s pride in Logan quadrupled at that moment as I watched his eyes shine at both of us.
“And there’s no chance the two of you will make up? Being together… and married, eventually… will make raising this child so much easier.” My father and Mrs. Rush nodded in agreement.
I kept my gaze focused on the floor. Marry me… Logan’s words in the parking lot of the school came rushing back. I had taken his love for granted at that moment. Now, the only man that I wanted was lost in time, and I had no idea if I’d ever see him again.
“We’re committed to caring for the baby. It’s not practical to expect us to get married. We don’t feel that way about each other, but we are responsible for our actions.”
Logan’s words hung in the room like stale air. The “meeting” was adjourned, leaving everyone more unsettled then when we began.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The following week, I kept up with the bombings in Russia, CNN permanently on the television in the living room or CNN.com pulled up on the laptop. There were still no strong suspect groups but fingers were pointed in every direction. I moaned to see footage of the condition of the fountains now. Once regal, they now looked like post 9/11 New York scenes. One reporter’s voice played again and again in my mind, haunting me at night when she stated that the fountains were drained- indefinitely.
It didn’t occur to me until much later in the week to search for Julie Henry and the cold-case murder site I’d found. After multiple searches, I found nothing about Julie Henry in 1977, or any year for that matter. The murder record no longer existed- but it was as if she never existed. If we travel back through the fountain then the past, that past, is erased?
The past is obdurate.
I borrowed my dad’s car and drove to West’s house. It looked the same as we had left it- empty. Sitting in the driveway, I wondered how Violet was handling everything, and if she had kept in touch with Logan.
I saw Logan once in that following week. He stood behind my locker door as I closed it, startling me. “You have a personal trainer to teach you kickboxing and defense. Here’s the appointment card; all sessions are paid for. Show up,” he ordered. I took the business card from him, sighing.
“Thanks.”
A week later, he handed me a new iPhone. “It’s on my plan- paid for. I need to be able to keep in touch with you outside school.”
“I can get a new phone myself.”
“Take it, Cam.”
I did. He texted me two days later.
Do you want me to come to the doctor with you?
My appointment was after school; I texted back quickly.
No thank you. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Morgan waited at the curb by the library. I listened passively to her talk as she drove to the doctor’s office. “Any nausea? Vomiting? Aversions to food?”
“No. Aversions to food maybe, but I’m just not hungry.”
“You’ve lost so much weight,” she sighed, pulling onto the highway. “Dad says you never leave your room. I’m sorry, I know this is hard. You and Logan have been together forever.”
“Morgan, I really just don’t want to talk about it. Please,” I begged. She glanced my way, and then back to the road.
“Okay, Socrates.”
Her familiar nickname lightened my spirits slightly. Once inside the office, I waited in a group of empty seats by the receptionist window. Two very pregnant women read through magazines, one stopping every several seconds to encourage her two-or-three-year-old to keep playing with his handheld video game. A door next to the window opened, and a brunette nurse in scrubs appeared with a folder. “Roam Camden.”
I nervously stood, Morgan close at my heels. I took a deep breath and turned to her. “Please wait here?” I asked. She was shocked, her mouth dropping.
“I’ll come back with you.”
“I need to do this alone,” I whispered. She pursed her lips and sat down, nodding. I followed the nurse, giving her my date of birth before stepping on the scale. She moved the bar back and forth several times before taking my weight down on the chart.
“105. You’re underweight for 5’6’’.” She shook her head, a pitiful glance my way making me stiffen. I followed her to an examination room. “The doctor will be in shortly. Undress completely except for your socks. There’s a paper gown on the table, and it opens in the front,” she added, smiling curtly before closing the door.
I neatly folded my jeans, shirt, and underwear on the chair next to the table. After figuring out the paper gown, I lay down on the table and waited. After what seemed like an eternity, a knock sounded at the door.
“Come in?” I called, my voice breaking. A woman breezed in, very petite with dark, curly hair and glasses.
“I’m Dr. Fairfield, nice to meet you, Roam,” she said, offering her hand. I took it, giving it a soft shake. “Let’s talk for a few. First time to see a doctor like me?” She asked.
I sat up awkwardly, wrapping the paper robe around me securely. “I… yes.”
“And you suspect you are pregnant?”
“Yes.”
“Last period...,”
“August thirteenth.”
“Hmn.” She nodded. “Okay, I’ll examine you, we’ll do a few tests, and eventually some blood work. Everything will be fine,” she added softly, and I lifted my eyes to hers, deciding she was the kindest human being on the planet.
“I’m really scared,” I felt my chin quiver, and I gripped the paper table cover desperately. “I am just so scared.”
“Boyfriend in the picture?” She asked, smoothing my hand with hers.
“No,” I answered, sniffling.
“Aw. I know. Here honey.” She handed me a tissue, patting my hand again. “Do you need a few minutes?”
“No, I need to know,” I answered tearfully. Dr. Fairfield nodded.
“Alright, hon. Let’s take a look.”
A few minutes later, after a thorough and slightly uncomfortable exam, she stood up. “We’ll talk in a few minutes, okay? I need to see one other patient, and I’ll be right back in.”
“Okay,” I said, fighting a wave of dizziness as I sat up again. She left with a brief smile. I shifted uncomfortably on the table. She’d given me no indication whatsoever as to whether I was pregnant or not.
When the door opened
again, I widened my eyes as Dr. Fairfield pushed a rolling machine into the room. “Lay back down, not done yet,” she pushed the machine to the wall, plugging it in. I sat back on the table, confused.
“What…?”
“Let’s take a peek,” she pressed some buttons and turned to me. “This is an ultrasound. I’m going to use this wand to look. Ready?”
“I- yes,” I stuttered, wincing as she inserted the internal device. With her other hand, she pressed a few buttons, and sound filled the room.
A whooshing noise made me think of the sound of the world from underwater. I turned, watching the screen next to me. I’d seen an ultrasound done in movies, but having one myself was unreal. “This is your uterus. This tiny black bubble- see this? This is your baby,” she drew an on-screen arrow that pointed to the dark bubble.
My heart thudded to a stop. “My baby?”
“I see early signs of a heartbeat, which is unusual for only about 4 weeks. You’ve got a strong one in there,” she smiled, moving the wand slightly. “I’m only seeing one, no multiples.”
With that, she pulled the wand away and printed something from the machine. In seconds, I held a snapshot of what I had been looking at on the monitor. “This is the baby?” I asked, more to myself than to her.
“That is your baby. I’m going to prescribe you some prenatal vitamins and give you a diet to follow. You must eat according to the diet because you’re underweight. I have a booklist for you as well. I need to ask you if you feel safe in your relationships, Roam, even if the dad isn’t in the picture anymore.”
I considered her words. Do I feel safe? The man who has spent centuries trying to murder me is trapped in the past, and the other man who has helped kill me time and time again is now obligated to help support my child.
“I’m safe,” I managed to say, my voice breaking.
“Okay. You’ve got an older sister who obviously thinks the world of you- she’s pacing in the waiting room.”
“Yes,” I stared at the floor, the full extent of my new life overcoming my thoughts.
“Alright then. We’ll see you in about a month. And honey… read the books, and most of all… get some rest.”
The heavy, wooden door snapped shut. I looked down at the thin film in my hand, my eyes focusing on the dark circle in the middle of the picture. Oh, West…
It’s our baby.
ROAM SERIES
ROAM
FALL
RISE
RUSH
RULE
REIGN
Roam (Roam Series, Book One) Page 21