She shrugged. At the moment, she was disgusted with the whole agency. “Work, I guess.” She opened up the bag and pulled out the cartons of food. “How about you: what’ve you been up to?”
He shrugged himself. “Same old stuff. I got an order of pasta carbonara and chicken masala.” They had gotten into the habit of sharing entrees, so they could eat some of each.
“Perfect.” She beamed at him as they started fixing their plates. The food was good, but more than that, just having him around made her feel better.
“Tension on the job?” He sat down with his plate fixed, and she joined him.
For the first time, Elle really wanted to tell him about her job. He may have some good advice. She bit her lip. “I found out today that some people- my friends- were keeping a secret from me.” The story spun in her head faster than she could consciously devise it. She was getting good at cover stories. “An old friend- an ex-boyfriend- is in a lot of trouble, and they all knew, but they didn’t tell me.”
He twirled some pasta around his fork before taking a bite. “Why?”
How to explain that? “I’ve been working on this big project at work,” she said. “It’s the biggest project the Library of Congress has given me since I started.” She took a bite of chicken. “They thought it would distract me if I knew.”
Reese nodded as he chewed. “That sometimes happens to me: when I do get a chance to talk to someone while deployed or get a letter or something, people keep things from me, thinking it’ll distract me.”
She couldn’t believe it. He knew what it felt like. “Isn’t it annoying?” She heard the venom in her own voice but couldn’t stop it. “It’s like I’m some kind of incompetent twit who can’t multitask.” She chewed some more. “It’s lying is what it is, no matter how they rationalize it.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Lying’s a bit strong, don’t you think?”
“No.” She shook her head. Really, she wanted a glass of wine, but since she could get a call from Mason at any moment right now, she had to satisfy herself with water and lemon. “It’s the truth. Lying by omission is just as bad as telling an outright lie.”
“Well.” He took a sip of his own water. “I see your point, but I think the intention counts for something. I know they’re just trying to support me in their own way.”
Support her. Were Mason and Preston trying to support her? They were trying to keep her focused. She sighed. “I just wish they trusted my ability to handle it.”
“Do you and this ex-boyfriend still see each other sometimes?” Again, there was that casual tone paired with a probing look.
“No.” She shook her head. “We dated in college, and we were pretty serious: we’d talked about getting married, but we never actually got engaged. He got a little too friendly with a classmate. He kept telling me he wanted to stay with me, but he couldn’t leave that other woman alone.” Or forget about her, either: he still had the pictures over a year later. She shrugged, feeling her cheeks heat up. “I was the serious one, and she was the fun one, I guess.”
“Sounds like he wanted to have his cake and eat it, too.” He took another bite of his food. “Men will get away with that if they can.”
She’d learned that from dealing with Adam. Now it was her turn to study Reese. “Would you do that?”
He looked a little startled. “Do what?”
“Try to keep one girl as your ‘serious girl’ while you fooled around with another one?” Was she discussing something that shouldn’t be discussed with a hook up? Well, it wasn’t like they were talking about marriage.
Reese shook his head. “What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, I say. If it’s a relationship, then we both need to be committed. Otherwise, we both do our own thing.”
She couldn’t help but smile as she watched him eat. Damn his job and her job, for that matter.
There was a knock at the door. He gave her a quizzical look, and she shrugged as she stood up to answer it. She had no idea who would be coming by at this hour; she didn’t get many visitors. Was something up with Betsy?
It was Preston.
He pushed his way in and started talking as soon as she opened the door. “I’m sorry: I wanted to tell you last night-”
He drew up short as Reese rose from the table. The two men eyed each other, their faces deliberately blank as they scrutinized each other.
Oh shit. There was nothing in any of the training manuals that discussed what to do when a current hook up and past hook up, who was now a partner at work, ran into each other.
“Preston-”
“I didn’t realize you had company.” For once, the smooth Preston looked… uncomfortable.
Elle tried to think. What should she do: introduce them like normal guys? They weren’t normal guys. Well, they were normal, but the situation wasn’t normal, not by a long shot. How would she introduce Preston? A co-worker? How would she introduce Reese?
“Beckwith, right?” Preston nodded at Reese.
They knew each other?
Reese nodded. “Raddick, isn’t it?”
They were sizing each other up like predators preparing for a dominance challenge. Their nonchalant voices belied the scrutinizing stares and subtle bristling.
Elle moved between them. Realistically, she had no hope of actually breaking up a fight between these two, but perhaps she could slow things down if it came to that.
“You two know each other?” She couldn’t give Reese any kind of cover story until she found out more about their connection to each other. They were both Navy SEALs, but Preston was retired: they wouldn’t have worked together.
“We’ve met.” Reese’s voice was even. Too even.
“For work,” Preston added, giving her a quick glance.
Shit. So she couldn’t say Preston was someone from work since Reese likely knew he was a retired SEAL who now worked for the CIA. What the hell was she supposed to say: Preston was a friend?
The tension was thick in the air. She tried to think up something, anything that sounded even remotely plausible, but her mind was blank. What a time to freeze.
“Listen, I’m sorry to interrupt your evening: I’ll talk to you later.” Preston was moving towards the door before anyone could protest, not that either Elle or Reese was protesting. He let himself out.
Elle stared at the shut door for a long moment. She could feel Reese’s eyes on her. She’d have to look at him sometime. She felt as if she was turning around underwater, her movements felt so slow, as she turned to face him.
His face looked… accusatory? His arms were folded across his chest.
“So how do you know Raddick?” Reese asked.
She wanted to tell him the truth. It would make her life so much easier. But… she couldn’t. Never had working for the agency sucked as much as it did right now.
“He- he- he and I-” The best cover stories were 95% true. “We used to date. Well, hook up.”
She was surprised by the way his face flushed a deep shade of red.
“We met while I was in college- I’d just found about my boyfriend- my ex-boyfriend- was cheating on me, and Preston…” She finally shrugged. “Swept me off my feet, I guess.”
Reese’s entire body seemed to go rigid, as if he was poised for an attack or something. “And so you two still…”
“No!” She looked him right in the eye. It was so much easier to tell the truth. “We are not dating. Or hooking up. Or anything. He- we broke things off last year. Nothing’s happened between us since then.”
He wasn’t missing a thing as he stared at her. “So nothing’s happening between you two now?”
She shook her head. “No- nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
He shifted from one foot to the other. “Then why the hell is he coming here to apologize? For last year?” The tone of his voice told her he didn’t believe that for a moment.
“We ran into each other recently.” She hated how her voice faltered. This was not the time to wa
ver; it was a clear marker that she was lying. He would know that from his interrogation training as a SEAL just like she knew it from hers as an operative. “It was bad- how things ended between us.”
Although Reese let his arms fall by his sides, his hands were clenched into fists. “So why was he apologizing about last night?”
Shit. She didn’t know what to say. Her mouth opened, and she just let it hang open for too many seconds, like an idiot, before closing her mouth again.
“Were you two together last night?” he demanded.
They were, but not like he probably thought, and she couldn’t tell him what had really happened.
Distraction. It was time for a distraction.
“Are you practicing your interrogation skills?” She took a step towards him, forcing a smile.
He folded his arms across his chest again. “I’m tired of the evasions, Elle.”
She blinked, freezing in place. “Evasions?” The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. This was not good at all. He was seriously pissed.
“Yes, your evasions.” His voice seemed to whip out to give her a lash. “And another thing I don’t like is being lied to.”
“Lying?” She heard her own voice rising as her back stiffened. “I’ve never lied-”
“You told me you had to work yesterday.” He wasn’t giving an inch.
“I did!” It was true, so it was easy to defend.
“So why the hell were you at the Place By The Sea hotel? With Raddick?”
She didn’t actually gasp, but it was as if his words punched her in the stomach. She fought the urge to double over, but she stood her ground, just like him. How the hell could she explain that?
Something else she had learned in her training: when cornered, go on the offensive. “Are you following me now?”
“No, I had to be out there for work myself-”
“What work did you have out there?” She wanted to keep the focus on him as she tried to think of a way out of this clusterfuck.
“The SEALs have a training area out there, in the lot behind the trees. But as far as I know, there’s nothing connected with any university library or the Library of Congress at any of those hotels.”
She didn’t know if he was telling the truth or not, but what reason would he have to lie? As a Navy SEAL, the details of his operations were confidential, but he could tell the truth about what he did for a living, at least. The reality of her job seriously sucked.
“Reese, I-” Again she was gaping like a fish, opening her mouth, nothing coming out, then closing it. She had to stick with the truth, as much of it as she could tell. “Nothing is happening between me and Preston.” She looked him right in the eye, hoping he could see the truth. “Nothing at all.”
“Then what were you doing with him at the hotel last night? And where were you last night, when I texted you about meeting up?”
Did his eyes almost look… pleading? Like he wanted her to give any reasonable explanation that didn’t involve sleeping with Preston?
“I was working,” she finally said when the silence became painful. “I’m telling you the truth, Reese. I was at work last night.”
“Dammit, Elle.” He looked like he wanted to reach over and strangle her. And he had the skills to do that, she realized, although she didn’t seriously fear he would do it. “Just be honest with me.”
“I am being honest! What’s going on here? I thought we were just hooking up?”
He just stared at her, his face inscrutable.
The words kept pouring out of her mouth. “I mean, you’re about to go away to parts unknown soon, and, and- I thought we were just having fun…” Her voice trailed off as they kept staring at each other.
“We’ve spent nearly every night together for the past couple of weeks,” he said. “I thought-” He rubbed his forehead, looking as if he was suffering from a raging headache all of a sudden. “Hell, I don’t know what I thought. I’d better go.”
“Go? Already? We haven’t even finished-”
“I’ve got an early training run tomorrow.” He was already heading for the door.
“Reese, please, wait-” She hurried after him, wondering if it would be too melodramatic to throw herself in front of the door, but she wasn’t fast enough to get in front of him.
“I’ll see you around.” And with that, he was gone.
***
Dammit, this sucked.
At least he hadn’t said he never wanted to see her again. He was pissed right now. Of course it looked like she and Preston were hooking up, and the idea of that pissed him off. Worse, there was no way she could explain why she was really with him. Damn her agency agreement.
Maybe this hook up had run its course. It had gone on for far longer than she had ever intended in the first place. This op was about to get busy again anyway, since they were working hard to locate Adam. After that, they still had to locate and destroy the servers. This was her career, the thing she was supposed to be focused on right now.
But she wanted to see Reese again. She sure as hell didn’t want things to end like this, with him pissed at her. They were supposed to end when his deployment started, and they couldn’t see each other again.
The annoying bastard Preston’s reminders that operatives couldn’t have relationships kept replaying in her mind. As much as she hated to admit it, he was a seasoned operative and knew what he was talking about. Yet she couldn’t forget: his parents had stayed married, marital strain or not. It wasn’t impossible or even unheard-of for operatives to have families.
Not that she had plans to marry Reese. She just… didn’t want thing to end like this.
She wouldn’t even get assignments like Preston, where he disappeared for months at a time. The CIA would always want her nearby to analyze data; her trips into the field would be short. Maybe that didn’t matter, though. Things with Reese had turned out the same as they had with Lyle: questions about her work schedule, what she was doing, why she was so busy. Things weren’t really different with him; his acceptance of her work schedule hadn’t lasted.
The problem with Reese wasn’t really her work schedule. He’d been fine until he thought she was hooking up with Preston.
Damn this job to hell. Her personal life was in turmoil thanks to people who didn’t even trust her enough to tell her the truth about their work.
Her chest tightened painful. Damn her heart to hell, too. How had she let herself get into this situation again? Marni was right: she didn’t know how to have a fling.
Frustration boiled up inside her. She looked at the half-eaten food on the table and wanted to throw it against the wall. Her eyes burned as everything went blurry. Had she ruined her chance at having a happy personal life with her career decisions? Her breath started coming in short bursts as a sob worked its way up her chest.
No, dammit. She breathed deep, forcing the sob down. She was an adult now. She was in control. There was a way to make this work. She would find one, dammit.
Chapter 26
Mason called at about six am the next morning, but Elle had no trouble waking up to answer. Her night consisted of tossing and turning as she awoke every couple of hours. She kept reaching over to the other side of the bed, where Reese should have been sleeping. Yet even if they were dating, in a committed relationship, he would be gone more often than not. Regardless, she wanted him there when he could be.
“We’ve located Clemento,” Mason told her as soon as she answered. “Be at Camp Peary by nine am for your briefing.”
Camp Peary was right outside of Williamsburg, which was a little over an hour away from Norfolk. Rush hour traffic would extend the drive time, however, although she could try the back roads.
“I’ll be there,” she said before disconnecting as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. He wouldn’t have anything else to say over the phone.
She let the hot water of the shower flow over her, trying to relax her muscles. She just kept feeling like something was mi
ssing. Reese was missing. A night with him always left her relaxed and happy, and while the sex was a big part of it, that wasn’t everything.
She needed to fix this but how?
She dressed and forced herself to eat something. She was already sleep-deprived: she didn’t need to be weak with low blood sugar from not eating. Who knew what she would have to do? Camp Peary was a military installation that served multiple purposes. It was a place for testing new weapons. The Farm, which was where the clandestine service personnel trained, was also there. She had spent a lot of time there over the past year.
The fact that Mason wanted to meet with them there suggested they would have to do something involving classified weapons. Or he could be traveling down from Washington and be meeting her at the midway point. She’d find out.
First, she wanted to try to smooth things over with Reese. After she left Norfolk, she called him using her headset as she drove. He wasn’t a late sleeper.
Her call went through to voicemail.
“Hi, Reese, it’s Elle.” She took a deep breath. “Look, I feel terrible about last night. Really. I- I like you. As more than just a hook up, I mean.”
Okay, that didn’t sound too moronic. “I know what happened with me and Preston looks bad. I just- I need for you to trust me when I say it’s not what it looks like.”
Yeah, that was going to mollify him. She was going psychotic, perhaps from lack of sleep. “I hope we can- get together, and talk, or something.”
This was going downhill fast. “Well, ‘bye. I hope to hear from you soon.” With that, she disconnected the call. Lame, but it was the best she could come up with at the moment. Hopefully she at least sounded sincere.
Now she had to focus on the op and Adam’s extraction.
***
Mason and Preston were waiting for her when she arrived. She briefly wondered how come she was always the last one to arrive but realized being annoyed about that was simply wasted energy.
“What’s going on?” she asked as she took her seat.
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