by Lynne Hugo
“Where the hell is she?” Eddie’s voice came.
“Hiding out, I expect. Caught a glimpse of dragon lady, most likely.”
“I can’t get back too late, and I damn well gotta have her with me. I’ll have to get the groceries tomorrow. Got enough to get by till tomorrow night?”
“Dinosaurs with Dinners will be along, and they can eat that for lunch. Just finish your beer, go out with a flashlight, and yell, ‘allie, allie in come free.’” Cal was finding himself pretty amusing.
“We also gotta develop a Plan B,” Eddie said, sounding fairly sober, unlike Cal.
“What?”
“Things could change. I mean, Jewel came right here, right into the barn. Who knows how close she came to catching Carley? That woulda blown the whole thing right t’ the moon.”
“Told you, she didn’t have a clue. We’re clear.”
“But she’s not gonna like you messin’ with her horse, no matter what you told her. I mean, I gotta think this through. Maybe I need to, I dunno, put Carley back in rehab. Maybe Jewel will start takin’ care of the horses, and you’ll just have to manage in the house.”
“What about the money, man?”
“I’ll give you yours as long as I can pull this off. But I gotta finesse this, or we could both get our asses in a grinder. But y’know, if Jewel takes her job back, even with you here, she’ll know the agency money’s comin’ in, and I won’t be able to siphon any off. I hope you’ve got about enough.”
“You nuts? Not even close.”
It had never occurred to Carley that there was money involved. For the second time in three minutes her thinking shifted like a fault line in the earth, this time to reveal the disappointment of ordinary rock, nothing better at all. She’d gotten very cold, hiding in the bushes while night gathered around her. Now her tears made her angry.
Carley finally showed up, freezing and bedraggled and told him and Cal that she’d hidden in the back pasture when she’d figured out that her mother was at the house. Eddie was within shouting distance of sober when she first came in but had two more beers in quick succession to celebrate her quick thinking. Smart girl! unsaddling the horse and sending him in like that. While he and Cal drank, Carley fed her grandparents dinner in front of the television and then, because Cal would be too blitzed, helped them get ready for bed, even though it was way early.
“Eddie, you’re beyond buzzed. Go wash your face and gargle with toothpaste.” She was talking to him like he was twelve, but he was in too good a mood to get annoyed. It took a minute to get his balance when he stood up, but then he headed for the bathroom, Cal making faces at him, which he returned. When they got out to the driveway, Carley said, “Let me drive. The last thing we need is for you to get a DUI. I’m serious. And Mom’s not stupid. You’ll have to tell her you’ve got a migraine and go right to bed. Let me do the talking.”
It had been close, but they’d dodged a bullet. As Cal had pointed out, it was the second one he’d dodged, and they’d thought that was pretty funny. When Eddie repeated it to Carley on the way home, she’d said, “Yeah, that’s a laugh riot,” with a set to her mouth that reminded him of Jewel. So maybe he was a little buzzed. He’d let her drive. What else did she want?
“Hey, Carley,” he leaned toward her from the passenger side. “You done good today, girl. Saved our butts. Funny how Cal said he was doin’ the horses, too, huh? But you’re doin’ real good. I appreciate that.”
“Yeah, Eddie. Save it, huh?”
“What’s up your butt?” He shifted back toward the window, perplexed. They’d been getting along so fine. “You pissed ’cause I had a couple? Don’t worry. Just pull in the McDonald’s drive-through before we go home. I’ll get me a coffee and call your mom again. I’ll tell her we got something to eat in Lex because I was looking around at the truck supply place and it got late. She’ll be pissed, but she’ll buy it because she knows I love that place.”
“Then on Saturday when you don’t have the parts and can’t work on the truck?”
“Pfft. Let me handle that. I’ll get ’em on my lunch break.”
“You’ll go to Lexington on your lunch break? And when will you get the groceries for Grandma and Grandpa?”
This was beginning to feel like a police interrogation. “Back off, will you? You do your job, I’ll do mine.”
Carley brushed hair that had fallen from her ponytail out of her face. She looked tired and cold, and he fiddled with the heat to turn it up. She wore jeans and a long-sleeved green T-shirt, but no jacket. She’d almost forgotten to change from boots into sneakers, remembering at the last minute and running back from the truck to do it. She was real good about remembering stuff like that, he thought.
“How’s the money holding out, Eddie?” Carley said, an edge to her voice. She was watching her speed carefully; he wasn’t too far gone to notice that. A good driver, which surprised him. He couldn’t remember when he’d last been on this side of the car with her. “I mean, they docking your pay at work or anything, taking all this time off?” she persisted when he didn’t answer.
Another silence while he tried to figure out if there was anything behind the question and finally decided there couldn’t be. “Nah. So far, so good. Just used a couple vacation days and sick time. I’m watching it. And you know your Mom’s gettin’ overtime.”
“That’s good. I mean, you’ve got a lot of extra expenses, what with Rocky and Chassie at the house now. You getting child support from Lana?”
“You joking? Hah.” He warmed to his favorite subject. “That bitch couldn’t hold a job if somebody put it in a bucket and tied the bucket to her wrist. She is what the politically correct like to call sanity-challenged. Not only that, the court hasn’t stopped the order for me to pay child support to her for Rocky yet. Can you beat that? It’s still comin’ outta my check. Goddamn lawyers.”
“So how’re you managing?”
Oh shit. He’d backed himself into a bit of a corner. One beer too many, maybe. “Hey, I don’t want you worrying your head about this, and don’t be mentioning it to your mom. I got it covered.”
“How?”
“I just do.”
Headlights appeared in the distance, two narrow specks like stars fallen on the horizon. While they advanced, Eddie was silent, as if the people in the other car were intruders. Carley was taking the back way, little traveled, between farms.
“How?” she persisted when the single car passed. Was she mad? Eddie tried to get a good look at her face, but she resolutely watched the road, and he couldn’t tell what her expression was. She had nothing to be mad about.
“Hey, not your concern, I’m telling you. Got some savings. Not your worry.” He tried to make his tone light, not to sound like he was saying none of your business, which was what he meant. “Listen, don’t forget about McDonald’s. It’s almost eight o’clock. I gotta call your mother again, and we might as well really get something to eat at the drive-through. I’ll be okay by the time we get home if I eat. When we get there, you can act all mad because I dragged you up there.”
“That won’t be difficult,” Carley said, her voice narrow and hard. Sometimes she was so much like her mother.
Jewel didn’t even act annoyed. “I hope you didn’t spend a fortune on that truck” was all she said. Then Eddie realized: she was relieved that he hadn’t been here to ask where she had been, and he wanted to double over laughing. He was, as he’d promised Carley, sober enough to pull it off and went to bed with a “headache.” She was convincing with her “I’m pissed” act and went to her room right away, too.
Eddie rinsed his mouth out with Jewel’s girly blue breath stuff and then drank half the Coke he’d brought upstairs, hoping the combination would kill beer breath. He made himself wash his face and hands, thinking the smell could be there, too; Jewel claimed he stank when he had too much. The effort did him in. Getting woozy, Eddie collapsed on top of the bed in his underwear without turning out the light. When Jewe
l came to bed, whenever it was, she roused him as she was trying to get under the comforter.
“I hate to wake you up, but this isn’t working. How about moving over and getting in?” she said. “Is your head still bad? Want me to bring you some aspirin or anything?”
“Yeah, sorry. I mean, I’ll move. Gotta take a leak anyway. Already took aspirin.” He hadn’t. Eddie cracked his eyes, and the room swam greenish until he shut them. The room was light green, the comforter blue-and-green paisley. “You can go ahead and turn out the light.”
He got up slowly, making his way to the bathroom while trying to stay asleep. While he stood at the toilet, Jewel called through the open door.
“Carley wouldn’t answer her door. She’d just say ‘leave me alone, I’ve gone to bed.’ But her light was on. I could see it under the door. What’s going on with her?”
“Dunno.” True. But he came to enough to realize he didn’t want her fussing or asking questions and reluctantly pushed himself to a higher degree of wakefulness. He didn’t try to answer over the flushing water, but when he got into his side of the bed he said, “Honey, don’t let her fool you. We get along fine these days. I told you, we went to McDonald’s and all. She’s just tired ’cause I puttered too long lookin’ at truck stuff.”
Jewel felt for his hand and squeezed it. Her hair still looked weird, but the fringe was more like regular bangs now and possible to fix so she didn’t look like an alien. Eddie loved his wife and liked it when he remembered the simple beauty of just loving her right up front. Having her look more normal helped, and he clung to it lately, even in the dark, even now as he hoped he’d be able to sink back into that soft black sleep in which there were no balls to juggle, no mazes to run, no thousand-piece puzzles that might or might not be missing a crucial piece.
In the morning, he didn’t have to fake the headache. It was the size of a basketball, and he could have sworn it was being used in an NBA playoff. And he really hadn’t had that much to drink. The stress was getting to him.
After Jewel left early for work, he called in sick. Actually, he said he would try to get in by noon if he felt better. Rocky had already fed himself cereal and gotten himself off to the school bus by the time Eddie stumbled downstairs, practically blind as Hack. Unfortunately, his eyes focused enough to see Chassie leave the house dressed as if she were headed to work in a Hong Kong whorehouse rather than to class at the beauty school. How much better was he doing as a parent than his nutcase ex-wife?
On the way to the farm, he figured Carley was pissed because he was taking off another half day to get the groceries. He reached over and patted her thigh briefly. “It’ll be okay,” he said. “I’ll put in a half day. Gotta get the groceries anyway. If you go with me, we can do it quick, and then I’ll only be a couple hours late clocking in. You have no idea how much accumulated sick time I have.”
She didn’t yield. Wouldn’t even look at him, just shook her head. “Too much to do at the house. And I gotta go get that saddle I left out.”
“Okay. Y’know. I been meaning to tell you, you look good, your hair growing out to its natural color like it is. The blond is nice.”
“Whatever.”
“Sheesh, you’re as bad as your mom for holding a grudge.” He fell silent, figuring she was still mad about him getting buzzed.
During the day the headache abated, and the necessity of a Plan B reoccurred to Eddie. He got sweaty thinking about how things could blow up. He’d have to try to get Jewel to tell him about last night, so he could glean her intentions.
It wasn’t nearly as difficult as he’d thought it was going to be. His wife was in a talkative mood that night. As she loaded the dishwasher after dinner, she suggested they take Copper for a walk.
“It’s getting pretty dark,” Eddie said without thinking of opportunity gained or lost, only of how tired he was. “You’d have to change clothes and all. And I’m exhausted. Long day at work.” She was still in the black dress pants and pink sweater set she’d worn to the office; she’d come home and started dinner right away. Carley had gone upstairs to her room saying she wasn’t hungry. Eddie knew she’d eaten at the farm with her grandparents, not that he could tell Jewel that she wasn’t going hungry.
“What’s up with her?” Jewel asked Eddie. Again. How should he know?
“She’s okay. Told me she’s just tired. She’ll come down and make a sandwich when she gets hungry,” Eddie said in his best reassuring voice. Carley had scarcely spoken to him on the way to or from the farm today.
“Maybe I better get over to rehab and ask around if she’s doing all right,” Jewel mused. “I’d have to give up a day of overtime, but she hardly says a word to me.”
Eddie panicked. “Nah. No need. I went in the other day when she wasn’t waiting outside. Ran into somebody who told me she was doin’ great.”
“Really? Was it her social worker? Her name’s Annie Brooks.”
“Yeah, that was the name. Lady saw me with her and just came over and said it. So how about that walk? I’ll go if you want.”
“Why didn’t you tell me what Annie said? I mean, that’s big stuff.” Her eyebrows were up, but her face didn’t look mad. Not yet. He needed to practically get down on his knees and be fast with the apology.
“I know. I’m sorry, just forgot. Lot goin’ on at work. I forget stuff. Sorry.”
“I’m just glad it’s good news for once. Did she say anything else?”
“No, just that. It was real quick, on the way out, y’know. That’s why I forgot. Shoulda told you.”
“S’okay. How about just a short walk for some fresh air? Poor Copper, he’s really been neglected lately. We’re hardly ever here. If it weren’t for Rocky feeding and taking him out—”
“See, it’s working out,” Eddie interrupted, eager to change the subject as well as put in a good word for the benefits of having his children there, although not fifteen feet away, the television set was far too loud, and Rocky, who should have been doing his homework, was watching The Simpsons, a show Eddie considered subversive. Chassie, as usual, was out with that boy. Controlling her was like trying to catch rain in his hands. “Son, get up to your homework,” Eddie hollered over the breakfast bar into the TV din.
“It’s done,” Rocky called back without looking away from the screen. The back of the boy’s head looked like a smaller version of Eddie’s, same buzz cut, the object of merciless mocking by Chassie.
“Those grades better show it,” Eddie said, an unconvincing threat Rocky ignored. “And turn that lower. It’s about to break the sound barrier.”
“Come on,” Jewel said. “I gotta get out of here.” She took Copper’s leash from its hook in the closet and whistled. The beagle popped off the sofa where he’d been cuddled next to Rocky.
“Thata boy,” she said, caressing Copper’s ears as she hooked him up. “Rocky, thanks for taking such good care of Copper. He’s lucky to have you for a buddy. Your dad and I are just going to take him on a walk with us.”
“No problem,” Rocky said. “He’s cool. I like to do stuff with him. I’m teaching him to fetch.”
“Well, I really appreciate that. He loves attention. Come on,” Jewel repeated to Eddie. “Grab me my black fleece, will you? I won’t change my clothes, just put on sneakers.”
“I’ll be in my customary class outfit,” Eddie said, adjusting his balls through his jeans and winking at her. “Always dressed to go anywhere.” He wore the beat-up athletic shoes he wore to work and everywhere else.
They’d only walked two houses down the road before Jewel opened up and, on her own, took Eddie right where he wanted her to go. “So, Rocky’s teaching Copper to fetch,” she chuckled, rolling her eyes. “I hope he gets that Copper is a beagle, not a Lab. Copper’s idea of fetching has a lot to do with, ‘Oh, look, there goes a squirrel!’ ”
“I doubt he has a clue, but it’s keeping them both out of trouble, so let’s not burst his bubble.”
“He’s a good kid.
Someday, when life is normal, maybe I can build some kind of real relationship with him. Teach him to ride if he wants. I went to Mom and Dad’s yesterday.”
Grateful, grateful for the near darkness and being dragged behind Copper with his insatiable need to sniff where every animal in the tri-state area might have peed in the past three weeks. So easy and natural not to look at his wife, not to have his breathing steady as the dog tried to dislocate his arm. “Really? You went to see your parents?”
“No. I had to see the horses for myself. Touch them, you know? I know you’ve been checking them for me and taking them the treats, and I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate it. I hope you understand.”
He wanted to play this right. Not encourage her to do it again, not unless she was going to take the whole job back, of course. Eddie waited a beat. “Well, I’m trying.”
“I know. And it really makes a difference. Thank you for that.”
“Thanks for what you said about Rocky.” He waited out four or five steps of silence to stretch out the good feeling, lengthen it into what he needed to know now. “So are you thinking of starting to take care of them, like, I mean your parents? Or the horses? I mean, I thought you weren’t going back there, and now you’ve gone twice. I mean, I sorta need to know.”
“Why?” The question was curious, on the edge of sharp. Her head angled to the side, eyes narrowed. He’d gone too far.
“I just meant, if we’re gettin’ that income back, then, you know, not that you haven’t been pulling overtime,” he covered, not resisting when Copper dragged him toward the Eshbaughs’ mailbox to pee on their chrysanthemums. “That yard is way too nice, don’t you think? Makes ours look bad. We need to let Copper have at it.” Keep it casual, he thought, mix in a bit of light humor.
She waited for the beagle to finish and for Eddie to catch up with her. “Are you asking about destroying the Eshbaughs’ yard? Definitely. Or asking about the horses? Then I don’t know. But that’s not my point. It’s that I don’t know what to think. It’s like nothing is what I thought.”