Decades ago, Sarina had an intuitive reading from a friend in Asheville, N.C. named Francis and was told that one day she would find herself in a faraway city wrapped and dancing with colored fabrics to Native American flute music. Here were the colored fabrics as promised. Just at that moment, she heard a distant trill of an undeniable Native American flute coming from across the street in Golden Gate Park.
The L shape of the apartment faced north with a window overlooking the park and another window facing west and another facing east. She often walked and did research for her work in that park and was happy to know that she was about to live across from a place she so loved. The natural environment with the water and trees always offered her balance: with her in breath came the inspiration with her work load; with her out breath came her recovery from her work load and balance between hard work and recovery had always been achieved and inspiration remained intact. Sarina was grateful to be in this environment, which helped her practice balance between work and play. She had been developing a habit of stopping her busy life, closing her computer, and turning off the phone at just the right moment and it took practice on her part.
Sarina hadn’t always been able to strike this balance. Many years ago, Sarina had been in a committed relationship and was always running from here to there with projects in every conceivable corner of her life. This life had seemed to be what she had always wanted. She had her independence, which had allowed her to navigate the many projects she created. She had her children who were developing their mental and emotional mettle for their worldly journeys ahead. She had a romantic partner who adored her and cared for her without hesitation. Her life was complete.
During this blissful period, Sarina had been completing her PhD and had been looking forward to traveling across the continent and ultimately around the world with her work. Her children either were in college or, having graduated, were starting their individual life’s journeys. When they were younger all of her energy had been directed and devoted to her children, and as they had left the nest one by one, she had been able to re-channel her extra energy into her research and travels. Her life was full and expansive beyond her wildest dreams. But as Sarina’s children had moved on, she had been left with an emotional void. Only her work was more important to her than her four boys. Now that they had moved on, her complete attention turned towards her work.
The only other person left in Sarina’s life had been Joe. He had been a man of great depth who had enjoyed following pathways wherever mystery and ritual were involved. His greatest passion had centered on the ancient Mayan people and was part of his love of Central and South America in general. Sarina was glad that Joe had other interests, which allowed her to concentrate solely on her work and research. This is where Sarina was not able to balance her work with play. Sarina was so wrapped up in her work that Joe’s departure seemed a blessing to her at the time.
He had been on a quest in Guatemala during the time he and Sarina lived in the Southeast. He was in Guatemala during a particularly difficult time for the country. Members of the Guatemalan government were being accused of war crimes from the revolution of the 1980s when complete villages had been destroyed and the people had been killed or had gone missing. Reports emerged of up to 180,000 Guatemalans who were either dead or missing as a result of those massacres. The government cover-up was so complete that not a single soldier or high ranking official had ever been brought to trial for these war crimes.
Joe had met an older woman who had made as her personal quest bringing these governmental perpetrators to justice. Joe was so moved that he joined the cause and followed that trail of injustice to see where it led and document it.
Evidence had begun surfacing and soldiers were beginning to confess the atrocities that had been carried out in a local village called Dos Eres where 180 people had been killed and the entire village had been burned to the ground. This news had compelled Joe to travel to the area where he had been helping the cause. The President of Guatemala was not ready to admit his government’s cover-up and had threatened anyone who was involved in digging up these past events.
Joe was involved in interviewing one of the soldiers who was confessing his involvement and implicating higher ranking officers. Generally, Sarina and Joe had communicated every few days when he was in a town with a cyber café.
A week had passed since Joe told her about the interview. At first Sarina did not worry; given the remoteness of where Joe had been working, it was not unusual for them to be out of communication for a week or more at a time. Sarina actually enjoyed their times away from each other as it gave her even more time to immerse herself in her work without the interruptions of another person in the house. But as another week passed with still no word, Sarina had begun to wonder, but her work was so fascinating and she was so happy to be in it 15 to 20 hours a day. Sarina had begun to feel regret. Regret that she did not spend more time with her partner in his world. She missed him so and was afraid something terrible had happened to him.
Finally after a month of no communication with him, Sarina received a telegram from the old woman who Joe had met in Guatemala. The message contained no specifics about what project he was working on with the old woman, but Sarina knew it involved cover-ups within the government. The telegram read: “Ms. Conti, I am sorry to say that your friend, Joe, went missing a day after he finished his interview with a soldier a few weeks ago. The soldier was found beaten to death in the room where the interview had taken place. I am very sorry.”
Sarina was finishing her doctoral dissertation and was only a few weeks from graduation. The news about Joe’s disappearance hit her hard. It took Sarina weeks to deal with the uncertainty of Joe’s disappearance. She didn’t know whether to be hopeful that he may return or to accept the possibility that he had been murdered. She was not able to get help from either government. This ping pong of emotions took her to the edge of a nervous breakdown. Francis, who had given her that reading in Asheville, helped Sarina attempt to center herself and simply allow Joe's disappearance be what it was, a mystery. This was another tool she used to hold back the feelings of grief, and Sarina was able to muster the strength to complete her dissertation on time and graduate. This way she was able to hold onto a sense of hope that Joe might someday return.
Although her dissertation helped Sarina focus to get through that time in her life, the timing of Joe’s disappearance was not the best for Sarina. She so missed his unwavering support and love. That solid presence had helped her go forward with her graduate education and Sarina now used that focus on her dissertation to help her complete it even as she longed for her lover to return. Sarina had been depending on that same love from Joe to help to decide where to live now that her schooling was complete. She knew that Joe wanted to live in the deserts of the Southwest, but she wanted to live in another part of the West. They had both agreed to sit down and have a deep discussion about this when he returned. Sarina had committed to this intense sharing because, while she had become quite independent in many ways, she was very much in love with him and was committed to their relationship. Now, without him, her choice was unfortunately simple. Joe’s disappearance, in an odd way, had helped Sarina make her decision where to live, as painful as it was to do, alone.
Sarina sorted through Joe’s belongings. It took her weeks to grieve over Joe. He had meant so much to her but it had taken losing him for her to see how she had taken him for granted and how she just had always expected him to return. She moved from the Southeast within a month of graduating. She had made many solid connections during her years in her doctoral program; one of these connections, Mary, had offered her a research position in San Francisco when she was ready.
Sarina was ready. She moved across the country in just three days, putting a lot of distance between her and her environment and the memories of Joe as quickly as possible. Sarina had always loved San Francisco and California is closer to the Native Peoples of the Northwest and Southwest whom she
loved so much. For Sarina, the Pueblos of the Southwestern tribes resonated with her and the beautiful artwork of the Heida in the Northwest was striking. Both of these regions were now only a day’s drive and her research position was not bolted down to an office chair. She was free to travel and write and earn her living.
Sarina had found her life’s path and had settled in well. Until that dream from last night … but before she could dwell on that further, another phone call was coming in …
Chapter – Four
Mary was on the other end of the phone call and was checking in on her friend and the top research editor for Earth Based Publishing of San Francisco. When Joe vanished, Mary knew Sarina might be ready for a change and wooed her over to Earth Based and set her up with a nice salary and an apartment in the city.
For all that Mary had done for Sarina and for all her desire to protect Sarina, Mary needed her as much, if not more, than Sarina needed Mary. Sarina’s intuitive gift was so much more desirable than a dozen academics and Mary valued these gifts. Sarina often uncovered information that was outside of the grasp of other more logically minded research editors. If anyone was going to uncover the mysteries of the universe, Mary believed that person was Sarina.
Mary’s dependence on Sarina became clearer when Sarina moved from the apartment Mary had found for her to the new and unusual apartment Sarina had found in the Inner Sunset district. This new apartment satisfied Sarina’s need to be in a quieter section of the city. It offered her the warmth and closer connection to nature with Golden Gate Park directly across the street.
Mary was skeptical about Sarina’s find. It sounded too fantastical and bordered on the edge of ominous for Mary. Mary preferred modern structures with alarms and multiple deadbolts. Not some freaky place with a skeleton key. Of course, Sarina assured Mary it was perfectly safe but Mary wanted Sarina closer. Sarina was now further away from both the office and Mary’s home and this unnerved Mary for a while. But, for Sarina, the new apartment was so magical and its mystery so intriguing that being further away from her office and Mary’s apartment was a welcome relief. Here she was free to tap deeper into her own spiritual desires. Her new apartment felt like an oasis and she discovered that she needed that more than she had realized.
The apartment was a perfect fit for Sarina. The apartment’s furnishings were to her liking and they created a sense of comfort. Sarina was not sure why this was, but given her willingness to step into the unknown she accepted whatever the essence of her apartment offered. The entire space seemed to be sacred and she didn’t feel at all uncomfortable in these new surroundings. And her comfort extended beyond the walls of the apartment into the neighborhood she grew to love. She was close to a variety of shops that became favorite haunts and she visited them often. She loved the music store and magic shop and the general friendly nature of the people walking the streets. She didn’t really know many of them but she felt accepted and that was all that was important for her.
Sarina answered the phone, “Hi Mary, how are you?”
“I am well and hope you are. I am checking in to see if your travel plans to Guatemala are in order and if there is anything else you need from me?”
“Not really but today has been THE MOST god-awful day, maybe of my entire life!”
“… Oh sweetie, that sounds terrible. Tell me what happened.”
Sarina told Mary the story about her sister’s murder and her meeting with Detective Holden and the encounter with Dana and how it all began this morning at 4:30 when she awoke from a dream just after the official Winter Solstice time. Mary interrupted now and then with outbursts of disbelief but knew that Sarina was a very pragmatic person and was a stickler for detail. Sarina left nothing out. She knew Mary was trustworthy and this soothed Sarina, helping her stay grounded.
After Sarina finished telling her story, Mary remained quiet for a dozen or so seconds. Sarina asked, “Mary, are you still there?”
“Sarina, I felt a chill run up my spine just now. The story you just told me seems very powerful and your sister’s murder . . . I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, Mary.”
“Well, given the intensity of it darling, I’m wondering if you need to stay closer to home and take some time off. The Guatemala trip may need to be postponed.”
Sarina’s story had more depth and seemed more substantial than Guatemala, and even as Mary was feeling Sarina’s pain about her sister’s murder, she also sensed the importance of this story. Sarina paused. Mary was the most grounded friend she had and her nose for a good story was matched by few in the publishing industry.
“I don’t know, Mary,” Sarina repeated.
“Sarina, you and I go back a long way and you know how good I am at sniffing out a good story. There is the murder of your sister, and please know that I am truly sorry about that, which is an awful thing you must be experiencing right now, but finding her on the steps of the Catholic Church with no marks on her body…” Mary trailed off. “Sarina, do you need me to come over and sit with you now?”
“No, Mary. I’m fine, really.”
“And what about the scream in your dream, and the flash of blue light? This is the stuff for a good story!” Mary knew that Sarina was one who tended to get up and dust herself off quickly and even as Mary wanted to comfort her, she knew Sarina’s process of working through the hard issues was how she operated.
Sarina rolled her eyes because she knew Mary was likely swirling her hands in the air like a great firework exploding. “I know Mary, but…”
“No buts, darling. I need you to see this play out. I can feel the intensity of this experience for you and you are absolutely the perfect person to write this story, whatever it might be!” Mary was known in the business as a very pointed person. But she remembered that it was Sarina’s sister who had been murdered, and so in a softer less publisher’s voice, she said, “Sweetie, I know it was your sister who was murdered and, again, I am truly sorry and I can’t imagine how you must be dealing with this right now [although Mary had a good idea]. I will offer you ANY support you need any time of day or night … hang in there and don’t worry about the Guatemala trip.” Mary wanted to say that this is bigger than all that but instead said, “You need to step back and work through your sister’s murder. Call you later. Bye now.” Mary wanted to say more and press Sarina about how she was feeling, but she knew that Sarina always was guarded about personal matters and did not want to force her dear friend into a corner.
Mary did not wait for a response and hung up with the understanding that if these events into the realm of mystery continue, she knew the Guatemala trip had to wait. Mary was already re-arranging her own schedule to make room for Sarina in the event that she might need a shoulder. Mary was also going to create a story board for what she assumed might be the story Sarina was about to create.
Sarina knew that Mary was already creating an outline for some story that Sabrina was now being drawn into. She stared out the window at the late afternoon sky towards the bay beyond the trees in Golden Gate Park. This was one of those rare times when Sarina had actually hoped that Mary would be more personal and caring about what she was going through. Sarina also knew that she had been very strong in conveying that she did not want to be dependent on others and feel weak because she was a woman and this was one of her qualities that Mary cherished. Sarina’s strength and structure were such huge parts of her personality.
She had needed to be the structured, more masculine persona in her marriage so that her children might have a sense of structure in their own lives as they matured. She constantly did things for them and Sarina smiled because she loved being a mother and was glad to be so needed by her boys. So Sarina was not surprised that Mary did not tread in areas Sarina had asked her not to.
Sarina turned her chair to the west-facing window in the L-shaped section of her apartment. The trees in the park seemed to stand up and move out of Sarina’s gaze
so she might better witness the beautiful sunset. The sunset was spectacular as Sarina stared out the window; the colors were so vibrant as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon.
The late afternoon in winter was always special for Sarina. Soothed by its slide to gray twilight, she could remain calm in spite of everything that had happened so far. But despite her calm, she felt alone with nowhere to turn. She realized she had no one in her life with whom to share her deepest feelings if she had even wanted to share. Mary was a true friend, but because she was her boss, Sarina never allowed herself to share her deepest feelings and this worked very well for both of them. She kept these solidly locked in a compartment in her heart, not willing to bring them to the surface very often. So with no one to turn to for solace or emotional support, in part of her own making, what else could she do now but hang on for whatever ride was about to unfold?
Night began to emerge and Sarina had a lot of work to accomplish. She was never a person to retire early to bed. The night was full of mystery for Sarina, and, if she was going to find her mother (a critical mystery indeed), she needed to do some intense research.
The Song_A mysterious tale of the Mayan spirit world and the Mayan calendar Page 8