But he supposed clichés wouldn’t be used if they didn’t occasionally do the job. Kip gave a little huff of defeat and headed toward the horses, where Drew was already waiting.
“You know how to use a chain saw?” he asked Hayden.
“Don’t you?” the boy asked, with just a trace of belligerence in his voice.
“Sure.” He walked him through the steps and then started up the chain saw. The boy’s eyes were bright with anticipation at the low throb as Carson guided the chain saw to the right spot on the Douglas fir’s trunk.
“Now hold on tight,” he ordered. The boy kept his hands on the chain saw, even as it bucked a little on a knot in the tree while they made the cut.
But as the tree toppled away from them, he gave a little shriek and instinctively pressed against Carson’s side for just a moment. A weird knot formed in his throat but Carson swallowed it down.
“That was so cool!” Drew exclaimed.
“Yeah! Cool!” Kip echoed.
“Good job, Hayden,” Carson told the boy.
“I could have done it by myself without any help,” the boy answered, though Carson was quite sure he looked pleased.
“I’m sure you could,” he answered.
“How are we going to get it to your house?” Drew asked with a sudden frown.
“I brought along plenty of rope. Bodie’s strong enough to pull it down the hill, I think, especially since it’s not far. He shouldn’t have any problem.”
The boys were more of a hindrance than they were a help as he rigged the rope but for once Carson didn’t mind their chatter. It wasn’t a bad way to spend a December afternoon, he decided. Not a bad way at all.
“If you want, we can help you set it up,” Drew said as they finally headed back down the hill toward Raven’s Nest.
“And we can decorate it, too,” Kip added.
“We’re really good at putting up Christmas ornaments,” Drew said. “Mom said so.”
“Yeah,” added Kip. “This year I only broke one thing, a bell that I shook too hard. And it was really old anyway, Mom said.”
Carson winced, as a sudden vision danced through his head of broken globes and tinsel strung across every available surface in his house. “Thanks for the offer, but I think it’s taken care of. I’ve got some people who are going to help me with that.”
Carrianne had assured him she should be able to have an army of decorators sent over from Jackson Hole as soon as possible. His guests weren’t due to arrive until afternoon. By the time the Hertzogs arrived, his house should be brimming with Christmas spirit.
Thanks to the Wheeler brothers. If they hadn’t showed up bearing their unexpected goodies, he would have completely overlooked putting up a tree. He owed them, he supposed. For that, and for the surprisingly enjoyable afternoon.
“We’ll stop and let Bodie drop the tree off at my house and then I’ll ride you all home.”
He told himself quite firmly that he was only being neighborly, making sure they arrived home safely. The offer certainly had nothing to do with any desire on his part to see their mother again.
Chapter Five
Though cleaning out the horse stalls wasn’t on her list of top ten enjoyable activities—or top five hundred, come to think of it—it had to be done. Since she’d finished sewing the pajamas and had safely hidden them in her secret spot in a locked closet in the basement furnace room where the boys never ventured, she had decided to tackle another job on her list.
She hummed “Jingle Bells” as she worked, much to Jolie’s delight.
“Mommy funny,” she pronounced with a giggle.
Jenna smiled. “Thanks, baby.”
Even with her singing and Jolie’s chatter and her horse Lucy whickering softly for a ride, everything seemed too quiet in the barn. Without the constant hubbub of her boys around, she always felt a little disconcerted, as if something wasn’t quite right with her world.
They would be back all too soon, she knew, and then the chaos would start all over again. They would come in hungry and thirsty and arguing about whose turn it was to groom their ponies, Pep and Cola.
“Mommy, out,” Jolie pouted from the playpen that wouldn’t contain her for much longer. Jenna didn’t like using it very often but a barn was a dangerous—not to mention less than sanitary—place for a busy toddler and she couldn’t always keep a perfect eye on her.
“Just a minute, honey. Where’s your car?”
“Jolie car.”
“That’s right. It’s your car. Let’s see it go vroom vroom.”
Her daughter giggled again and picked up her plastic red car and let herself be distracted. She was such a good baby. Well, not a baby anymore. She was eighteen months old now, putting words together and walking and exploring her world.
She paused with the shovel in her hand, watching the miracle of her daughter as she babbled to her toys. She was a joy. A complete joy. The only tragedy was that her father had never seen his child, had never even known of her existence.
Jenna must have been only a few weeks pregnant at the time of Joe’s accident. They had talked about having another child but hadn’t yet made a final decision about it. Apparently fate had taken the choice out of their hands. And what a blessing that turned out to be.
Those first few weeks after the accident as he lay unresponsive in a coma, she had been so traumatized she hadn’t even realized she was pregnant.
Oh, the signs had been there, just like in her other three pregnancies. She could see that now but at the time she had attributed her exhaustion and the missed periods to the stress of sitting by her husband’s bedside day after day, praying for a miracle that never came as his condition continued to deteriorate. The vague nausea she had put down to lousy hospital food and not enough sleep as she rushed between the Wagon Wheel and the hospital day after day.
She found out for certain she was pregnant just a few days after his funeral. New Year’s Eve, and it was as if her husband had given her one last precious holiday gift.
Jolie had turned out to be her miracle. Even in the midst of her overwhelming grief—the paralyzing fear now that she was pregnant and on her own with a ranch to run and three little boys—she was forced to be strong for those boys and for the new life she carried.
Her daughter was a gift. All of their children were. Joe had loved them so. She knew he would have adored his little girl, would have spoiled her rotten.
“Mommy sad?” Jolie asked suddenly and Jenna realized she had stopped working and hadn’t moved for several moments, just watching the wonder of her child.
“No, baby. I’m not sad.” She smiled. “I’m happy. So happy. It’s Christmas. The time of hope and love, right?”
“Santa!”
Her brothers had brainwashed her well. “That, too. Let’s get this done so we can go inside where it’s warm.”
She had just laid down fresh straw when Frannie, their old border collie, lumbered to her feet and gave one sharp bark at the same time Lucy whinnied.
That was their not-so-subtle way of making Jenna feel guilty that they were stuck at home while the two ponies got to be out and about with the boys.
“I’m sorry, girls. I promise, I’ll take you out one of these nights, okay? Just the three of us in the moonlight like we used to do.”
The horse blew out a breath and Frannie just gave her a sad kind of look. Jolie giggled at her mother and Jenna picked her up and carried her outside to watch for the boys’ return.
After the dim light inside the barn, the sunlight gleaming off the snow was blinding for a moment.
Just as she expected, she found her boys approaching the barn on Pep and Cola, Hayden on his own pony and Drew and Kip doubled up.
But to her vast shock, they weren’t alone.
Her gaze took in the man on the huge, gorgeous black gelding. He looked like he’d just ridden out of a Clint Eastwood movie—black horse, black Stetson, dark green ranch jacket, all in stark contrast to the snowy land
scape.
Her stomach did an odd little twirl and she hefted a squirming Jolie higher in her arms.
“Pretty horsie,” the girl crowed with delight. Jenna had a sudden urge to warn her daughter to beware of pretty horses and the dangerous men who rode them.
“Hi, Mom!” Kip and Drew both greeted her with enthusiasm.
“Hi, guys. Hello, Mr. McRaven.”
He nodded to her in greeting, his blue eyes gleaming brilliantly in the sunlight for just a moment, and with all her heart, she suddenly wished she hadn’t just been mucking out the stalls. She felt at a distinct disadvantage around him, as usual. Just once she would like to encounter the man when she wasn’t bedraggled and frustrated and looking like either a scullery maid or a stable urchin.
“How was the Christmas-tree hunt?” she asked.
“Christmas tree!” Jolie clapped her hands.
“We picked a huge one,” Kip exclaimed, sliding down from behind Drew, who quickly joined him on the ground.
“We found the perfect tree,” Drew added.
“I found the perfect tree,” Kip bragged.
“Okay, Kip found it. It’s perfect. And guess where we found it, Mom? Right in the place we always used to go, above the high pasture. Remember, Mom?”
“I remember,” she murmured. As if she could forget eleven years of chopping down Christmas trees.
“It’s perfect, isn’t it, Mr. McRaven?”
“Pretty close,” Carson answered.
“I still think it’s too big,” Hayden muttered. He climbed down off Cola, the pony his father had given him just a few months before his accident. “You’re gonna have to cut off the whole top to get it inside your house, just like I told you.”
“We’ll have to see. If you’re right, you have my permission to say I told you so as many times as you want. And next time I’ll trust your judgment.”
“I’m right. You’ll see.”
Hayden tugged his pony into the barn, much to Jenna’s embarrassment. Her oldest son wasn’t usually so rude. She could only hope he had exhibited better manners while he and his brothers had been with Carson.
As he was leaving, Carson gave the other boys a smile and said, “Thanks for your help. I never would have found the tree if not for the three of you.”
“It was super fun.” Kip grinned.
“Yeah, it was. We can help you find a tree again next year if you want,” Drew offered.
Carson looked a bit taken aback by the offer. “Thanks. I appreciate that. Maybe next year I can remember to get a tree earlier than five days before Christmas.”
“We can remind you,” Drew assured him.
“Great. You do that.” His gaze met Jenna’s for just an instant but she could swear she felt the sizzle of it right to her toes. Ridiculous. She was holding her squirmy toddler and they were surrounded by horses and boys and one old, tired dog.
Still, when he dismounted and headed toward her, she couldn’t help noticing his lean-hipped walk and the way his dark hair curled a little under the hat.
“I didn’t know my buying the ranch would interfere with any of your holiday traditions,” he said in a low voice that Drew and Kip couldn’t hear.
She shrugged. “I knew when I sold the Wagon Wheel that many things would change. Our annual Christmas-tree hunt is the least of the changes.”
He frowned. “But it’s something your kids enjoy and I don’t like being seen as the Grinch who deprived them of that.”
“You didn’t,” she insisted, but he didn’t look convinced.
“Look, there are plenty of trees up there, enough to supply us both with Christmas trees for years to come,” he said. “You and your family can consider yourself welcome to cut one of your own in the future.”
She didn’t quite know how to respond to his unexpected generosity. She also couldn’t help thinking that even though he seemed uncomfortable making the suggestion, it was rather sweet of him to think of it. And very unlike the hard, implacable businessman she had always considered him to be.
“Thank you. But we found a great one this year, didn’t we?” she asked the boys. “My brother Paul owns the feed store in town and he found us a really great one from the shipment he got this year. It’s a balsam pine and it smells divine.”
Kip and Drew nodded. “You should see how we decorated it,” Kip said. “We made strings of popcorn and paper chains and lots of gingerbread-cookie ornaments. They smell super good, too. Only you can’t eat them or you’ll get sick, Mom says, because they’re only decorations. Do you want to see it?”
“I saw it the other day when I brought you home, remember?”
“Oh, yeah.” Kip looked disappointed at not being able to come up with another excuse to keep Carson around longer, and Jenna decided she had better step in.
“You boys need to take care of Pep. He’s been working hard and is probably ready for a rest and some oats.”
Neither of them looked excited at the chore but since they knew it was their responsibility and she wouldn’t let them wiggle out of it, they sighed and trudged toward the barn doors, tugging the horse’s reins behind them. Frannie hobbled up and followed them inside, leaving Jenna and Jolie alone with Carson.
“Hi, mister.” Jolie beamed at him when the boys were gone and Carson gave her a slightly uneasy look.
“Hi,” he answered.
“Pretty horsie,” Jolie repeated.
“Uh, thanks.”
The man looked as if he had no idea how to interact with a little, blond curly-haired cherub. Jenna took pity on his discomfort and distracted Jolie by pulling out her wedding band that she kept on a chain around her neck. The diversion never failed to work and Jolie reached for it with an exclamation of glee.
While her daughter was busy jangling the necklace, swinging it back and forth and holding it up to catch the sunlight gleaming off the snow, she turned back to Carson. “I hope the boys weren’t too much trouble.”
“They weren’t.”
She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her, though she regretted it when he gave her an odd sort of look. “You don’t have to sound so surprised,” she said. “They can occasionally act like they’re humans and not wild monkeys.”
“They were fine. A few spats here and there but nothing too major. Actually, they were a big help finding the tree and it was…fun.”
She had the feeling fun wasn’t something Carson McRaven allowed himself to experience on a regular basis.
“I’m glad,” she answered, then paused, remembering his unexpected offer of a few moments earlier. “Tell me they didn’t lay some kind of guilt trip on you about our Christmas tree this year and having to find one in town instead of up on the mountain.”
“No, not really. Except Hayden,” he admitted. “He made a few disparaging comments about your tree being punier than usual.”
She sighed. “Hayden would like everything to be the way it was before his father died. He misses him so much. All the boys do, but Joe and Hayden were extraordinarily close, I think because Hayden was the oldest.”
“That’s understandable.”
“I guess you’ve figured out he’s not happy I sold the ranch. He doesn’t understand all the factors that went into the decision.” She didn’t add that Hayden was also close to his paternal grandmother, who was full of vitriol about Carson McRaven.
Pat’s stroke had changed many things. Before it, Joe’s mother had been sweet and loving, always willing to lend a hand to anyone in need.
Jenna had to constantly remind herself the brain damage from the stroke was to blame for the changes in Pat’s personality now. She had transformed into an angry, bitter woman who sometimes took out her frustration at her physical condition on everyone around her.
“I’m sure it’s tough for a kid to see someone else living at the place he always considered home.”
“Maybe, but you own the Wagon Wheel now—sorry, Raven’s Nest. You have every right to keep every single pine tree on it just
as it is. You should feel no guilt or sense of obligation toward me or my family. About Christmas trees or anything else.”
“It’s all right, Jenna. I really don’t mind. You’re welcome to take any tree on the ranch next year. Hell, take two or three. We’ll plant more.”
She studied him for a long moment, trying to gauge his sincerity. He looked as if he meant every word. “Thank you. The boys will be thrilled. And I promise, we won’t cut anything without asking permission of you—or of Neil Parker if you’re not around. Though to be honest, I’d really like to get through this Christmas before I have to start worrying about next year.”
“Fair enough.” He returned her smile and she sternly ordered her nerves to stop jumping around just because the man looked devastatingly gorgeous when he wasn’t being all tough and serious all the time.
He turned and mounted the horse in one fluid motion. “Tell the boys thanks again for their help this afternoon.”
“I’ll do that. Goodbye. And if we don’t see you again before next week, Merry Christmas.”
He studied her a moment and she was quite certain he wanted to say something else but he only touched a finger to the black brim of his hat, wheeled the horse around and cantered down the long drive toward Raven’s Nest.
“Bye,” Jolie called, somewhat sadly, and Jenna hugged her close, watching after him.
She didn’t understand the man. He was hard and austere one moment, until she thought she had him pegged as a rather humorless businessmen only interested in his next deal. But then he showed these flashes of unexpected kindness to her and her family that completely baffled her.
“Mom. Mom!” Kip’s dramatically raised voice rang out through the cold air. “Hayden says I’m too big of a baby to ever have my own pony. He says I’ll have to share Pep with Drew forever. He’s just lying, isn’t he? Isn’t he?”
She turned her attention to her boys, trying to put thoughts of Carson McRaven out of her head.
He was just her neighbor, a man from a completely different sphere than hers that certainly never involved mucking out stalls and wiping runny noses. Their respective universes would never have collided at all if she hadn’t made the fateful decision to sell him the Wagon Wheel.
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