“Everything okay on the home front?” he asked. “No more nutcracker emergencies?”
She finally met his gaze and for just an instant, remembered heat flickered between them but she quickly looked away. “Not this evening. I took a moment to check on them a few hours ago and everyone was settling in for the night.”
“Do you live nearby?” Dierk asked, watching Jenna with a male appreciation that made Carson bristle.
“Yes, actually. Just down the hill.”
“The house with all the holiday lights?” Elle asked, just a miniscule dash of disdain in her voice.
Jenna either didn’t hear it or she chose to ignore it. “That’s the one. My family and I are Mr. McRaven’s closest neighbors.”
“Your home looks so very festive,” Antonia said warmly, as if to make up for her daughter-in-law’s chilly demeanor. “How many children do you have?”
Jenna smiled “Four.”
“Four!” Antonia exclaimed. “Ach der lieber!”
“Yes. Three boys and a girl. My oldest is ten and my youngest, the only girl, is eighteen months.”
“And their father? What does he do?” Elle asked. This time the supercilious tone was not quite as veiled.
Still, Jenna retained her calm, friendly demeanor. “He was a cattle rancher but he was killed in a ranch accident two years ago.”
“Oh, you poor dear.” Antonia reached out a hand and covered Jenna with hers. “I am so sorry.”
“So am I,” Jenna answered. “He was a good man and we all miss him very much.”
She turned to leave but Frederick gestured to an extra chair against the wall. “You must have been on your feet all day to prepare such a wonderful feast. Why don’t you stay and have dessert with us?”
For an instant Jenna looked taken aback by the offer but then she gave him a regretful smile. “Thank you very much for the kind offer, but I’m afraid I’ve got a few things to finish up in the kitchen for breakfast in the morning and then I really must return home to check on my children.”
“Of course, of course,” Frederick said.
She smiled at the group, though she still avoided Carson’s gaze. “If anyone needs anything at all, please let me know,” she said, then returned to the kitchen, leaving them to their dessert.
“A lovely woman,” Frederick said after she was gone.
“Yes. She is.” Carson couldn’t shake the memory of her delicate features flushed and warm and desirable after their kiss.
“How lucky of you to have a chef living just down the hill, and such a lovely one at that,” he said. “Has she worked for you long?”
He briefly thought about explaining the chain of events that had led Jenna to Raven’s Nest but decided the truth didn’t reflect well on him. Somehow he didn’t think Frederick would appreciate the combination of bribery and blackmail it had taken to convince Jenna to cook for his house party. “Mrs. Wheeler doesn’t really work for me. She is only here as a favor to me.”
Antonia shook her head. “Imagine, four children and no one to help with them. She must be a truly remarkable woman.”
Carson was beginning to agree, much to his vexation.
Jenna placed both hands in the small of her back and stretched, trying to work out some of the kinks from standing in a kitchen for fourteen hours.
Her shoulders felt weighted down with exhaustion but it wasn’t an unpleasant sensation, more the comfortable tiredness that came from knowing the satisfaction of a job well done. She had worked hard but she found it gratifying that her efforts had been met with such obvious success.
She rotated her shoulders then shrugged off her fatigue to load another dish in the second dishwasher. The plan had been for Melina Parker to help her serve dinner and clean up afterward. But when she showed up earlier in the evening, her features had been tight and nearly gray with pain.
She had pretended everything was all right, apparently forgetting Jenna was raising three mischievous boys and had become quite an expert at worming information out of reticent subjects. After she applied her best interrogation skills on the other woman, Melina finally confessed she had been hit with a terrible migraine.
Though it meant a little extra work for her, Jenna couldn’t let her suffer. She had ordered her to rest in a dark room until the headache passed.
It hadn’t been too difficult. Really, for all her nerves earlier, the day had gone remarkably well. Her food had been well received and that was the important thing. All of the Hertzogs—with the exception of Elle, who looked as if she typically dined on celery stalks and lemon water—had been effusive in their praise and even Carson had eaten every bite of his filet mignon and a portion of trout, as well.
Not that she was neurotically checking or anything.
She sighed as she loaded another dish into the dishwasher. She had to get out of Raven’s Nest before she became completely obsessed with the man.
One and a half more days—four more meals—and then she could return to her own family and Christmas and be able to sleep soundly in the knowledge that with the hefty fee Carson was paying her, she could pay off the small business loan she had taken out to start her catering business.
She had a few doubts about taking such a considerable sum from him but she had convinced herself she deserved it. Throwing together such a meal in only a few hours—especially only a few days before Christmas—was a considerable feat, one that deserved proper compensation.
Besides, he could afford it. The cost of his dishwasher alone would cover her business overhead for six months or more.
She definitely needed to stop thinking about Carson, she reminded herself. She’d made a vow to herself she would put the man out of her head, otherwise she would never get any sleep.
Forcing her mind to think instead about Christmas and all she still needed to do, she reached to return a serving tray onto a top shelf, then winced as the motion stretched the already-tight muscle where her neck met her shoulder. She rubbed at it, trying to work out the knot to no avail.
While she massaged at the ache, she paused to look out the window at the glowing lights of town, just barely visible at the mouth of Cold Creek Canyon.
Carson truly did have a lovely view here, in every direction, really. The soaring western slope of the Tetons was just visible above the smaller mountains around Pine Gulch and from here, Cold Creek glowed silver in the moonlight.
And the house itself was gorgeous, she had to admit, though a bit on the cold side. She would have liked to see a little more life in it. Some children’s artwork—and handprints—on the refrigerator, a few toys scattered on the floor, perhaps a school backpack hanging on one of those empty hooks by the door.
The house needed a little life and warmth. Maybe Carson did too, she thought, then chided herself for letting her thoughts wander back to him.
“You look like you could use a soak in the hot tub.”
At the deep voice, she whirled around to find the man who had occupied far too many of her thoughts standing in the doorway, looking ruggedly masculine in the tan slacks and white shirt he had worn to dinner.
To her dismay, despite the lecture she had given herself all evening, her heart started to accelerate and for a moment she could do nothing but stare at him.
Chapter Nine
“I didn’t hear you come in.”
“You looked as if you were lost in thought. And like a woman who has been on her feet all day.”
He took a step into the kitchen and she wondered how it was possible for the massive room to suddenly feel so tight and claustrophobic.
“I was just thinking what a lovely view you have from here. I’ve been wondering all day why Joe’s great-grandfather didn’t place his house in exactly this spot. I suppose it was logical in those days to build the homestead close to the creek where they drew their water, but up here makes far more sense from a purely aesthetic point of view.”
“I suppose the early Pine Gulch settlers had a few more things on t
heir mind than aesthetics. Survival probably carried a little more weight with them.”
“You’re probably right.”
She knew exactly what it was like to exist purely in survival mode. She had done just that in the terrible months after Joe’s death, when she had been fighting so desperately to keep the ranch afloat while she was pregnant and grieving and trying to be strong for her three little boys who had missed their father so much.
But time moved on. She moved on. Day by day, that bleak, wintry world had given way to sunshine. Jolie’s birth had been a big part of that. Selling the ranch had helped as well, she acknowledged, despite how much she had agonized about the decision.
“Anyway,” Carson said, “you are more than welcome to use the pool or the Jacuzzi anytime. I know you said at dinner you needed to get home to your kids tonight but if you’d like to come early in the morning, please feel free, or even when we leave for the ski resort after breakfast.”
She tried to picture herself enjoying a soak in that luxurious indoor hot tub overlooking the valley. It was a lovely image right now with every muscle in her body aching, but she knew she would never be able to bring herself to get quite that comfortable in Carson’s house.
“Thank you. But right now, all I want is a hot shower and my bed.”
For just an instant, something bright and glittery sparked in his eyes and her insides gave a long, slow roll. She drew in a breath and pushed away the reaction, frustrated at her weakness when it came to him.
“Is everything all set for tomorrow?” he asked. “Do you need anything else?”
“I think I’ll be fine. According to the menu your assistant sent me, breakfast in the morning was to be macadamia banana pancakes with orange butter. I’m also adding a smoked salmon and asparagus frittata. Is that still acceptable?”
“You’re making my mouth water just thinking about it, even though I’m full from the wonderful dinner.”
“I thought you all might need more protein before you go skiing. I know it always used to help me to eat a high-protein breakfast before I hit the slopes.”
“You ski?”
“I used to snowboard in college, if you can believe that.”
He stared at her and she had to laugh. “Should I be insulted that you look so astonished? Do you think I’m too old and settled to be a snowboarder?”
“No. I was just trying to wrap my head around it. You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”
What did he mean by that? She flushed, remembering how she had responded to his unexpected kiss.
“I wasn’t a bad boarder, either. It’s been a while, though. We used to take the boys to Jackson but I haven’t had much time the last few years.”
“Why don’t you bring the boys and come with us tomorrow?”
Now it was her turn to stare and she forgot about being tired. “Now who’s full of surprises? You’re inviting my energetic boys to spend the day snowboarding with the international guests whose European business interests you’re trying to purchase? Are you completely insane?”
“I’m beginning to think so,” he murmured. Or at least she thought that’s what he said but he spoke too low for her to completely understand.
“Well, thank you for the invitation,” she said, “but I’m going to have to pass, though Hayden would wring my neck if he knew. He’s been bothering me since the first snowfall to take him.”
“Why don’t you, then?”
She shook her head. “Do you have any idea of the logistics that would be involved? I don’t think any of their snowsuits still fit, for one thing. They’re getting new ones for Christmas but that’s still four days away. And beyond that, if my boys and I go off having a grand time at the ski resort with the Hertzogs, how, exactly, do you expect me to prepare your dinner tomorrow night?”
“We could figure something out.”
“No. Thank you, but no. That’s one of the things on our list for Christmas vacation. You go and have a good time with your guests and I’ll stay here and make sure you have something edible at the end of the day.”
“If you change your mind, let me know.”
She nodded, though, of course, she wouldn’t. In her preoccupation with his unexpected invitation, she hadn’t paid any mind to what he was doing while they discussed snowboarding but now she realized while she was arguing with him, he had stepped to the sink and started drying and putting away dishes.
“Hey, stop right now,” she said suddenly.
He blinked at her. “Stop what?”
“Cleaning up! You don’t have to do that. You’re paying me a ridiculously obscene amount to take care of those little details.”
“I don’t mind. I’ve washed plenty of dishes in my day.”
She blinked. “You? The CEO of McRaven Enterprises?”
He gave a rough-sounding laugh. “Fifteen years ago McRaven Enterprises didn’t exist. I was CEO of exactly nothing.”
“Fifteen years? You’ve done amazing things in that short amount of time.”
While she had been busy having babies, he had been making his fortune. She supposed that might depress some women but she wouldn’t have traded her life for anything, even with all the pain and sorrow on the road of her life’s journey.
“I had a few breaks when I was first starting out,” he said. “Things have snowballed from there. I’ve been really extraordinarily lucky.”
That wasn’t true, she knew. Before she would even consider selling him the ranch, she had researched all she could about him. She knew his reputation for taking faltering or stagnating tech businesses and turning them around.
“You don’t have to use false modesty with me, Carson. Everything I’ve read about you says you’re brilliant, that you have almost single-handedly made McRaven Enterprises a force to be reckoned with.”
He looked uncomfortable with her praise, almost embarrassed, something she never would have expected. She found it startling and more than a little appealing.
“Not bad for a guy who had to take the GED to get a high-school diploma and barely made it through college taking night classes,” he said lightly, with far more self-deprecation than she would have ever imagined.
He reached into the refrigerator for a Perrier and twisted the cap and she had the feeling the action was purely to cover his discomfort from talking about himself.
She didn’t remember reading about his early beginnings in any of the articles she had seen about him. Such a humble background made his current success all the more remarkable and clearly reflected that he was a man of focus and determination, something she had already figured out for herself.
She knew she should go home. She had a million things to do, though she also knew from a quick phone call to her niece, Erin, that all the children were sound asleep. Still, she felt strangely content in such quiet conversation with him and she was suddenly reluctant to end it.
“You never married?”
He took a long sip of water. When he lowered the bottle, she saw a change in his expression, as if something dark and sad had slid across it. His mouth compressed into a tight line.
“I was married once. A long time ago.”
He spoke reluctantly, as if he didn’t share that information with many people, and she almost regretted asking him.
“How long is a long time?” she asked.
“Well, I was barely eighteen. I’m thirty-six now. I guess you can do the math.”
She didn’t remember reading anything about a marriage or a divorce in any of the articles she had found about him but she supposed if the event had been so long ago, he had probably preferred to keep the information private.
Maybe he wasn’t divorced. She pushed the thought away. She would have known when she sold him the ranch if he had a wife hanging around somewhere. The sale documents had been complicated and detailed and surely that information would have come to light.
“They say young marriages have a rougher road. I suppose that must be true.”
He sipped at his water again with a faraway look. “It wasn’t easy, by any means. Suzanna was only seventeen and we were young and naive and thought we could handle anything.”
“Most teenagers do.”
That made him smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Right. Well, both of us were escaping rough home lives and had some sort of idealistic plan to rescue each other, I guess.”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure we ever really intended to marry. I don’t know that we would have if Suzanna hadn’t discovered she was pregnant.”
Pregnant? He had a child somewhere?
“That sort of changed everything. We decided we would try to hold things together and try to build a future together, so we scraped together enough for a marriage license and got married at a justice of the peace. I worked construction in the day and washed dishes at night so we could afford an armpit of an apartment in Oakland.”
He said he and his wife had both been escaping bad home lives. She wondered what sort of misery he had endured and was grateful again for her own parents who had provided her with nothing but love through her childhood.
“What happened with your marriage?” she asked, though she was almost afraid to hear the answer. Somehow she sensed by his suddenly stark expression that it had a grim ending.
He was quiet for several moments. The only sound in the kitchen was the soft tick of the clock. She thought perhaps he wasn’t going to answer and was just about to apologize for her rude prying when he let out a heavy breath. “She died in childbirth, along with our son.”
Oh, dear heaven. She never would have expected that answer. Jenna gazed at him as sadness soaked through her. He had lost a wife and a child who never had a chance at life.
She felt as if everything she thought she had known about Carson had just been tossed in a hundred directions.
All this time she had thought him cold, hard, distant. Arrogant, even. He was so reserved with her children—and even with the Hertzog children—but now she wondered if he used that stoic, even stony, demeanor as a mask.
Nothing she said could ease his heartache but she knew firsthand how very much simple condolences could mean to a grieving heart.
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