by Claire Adams
"I see," I said as the tears welled up in my eyes. I looked down and whispered, "This is so unfair."
"I agree, Ms. Pierce," she said kindly. "But that's true of many things."
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Cam
As soon as I got done with Leo, I called Alex. Her phone rang and rang and then went to voicemail. I left her message asking her to call me as soon as she could. I knew that I had to tell her about CSC and the new contract before I let Leo know what I was going to do because once he had the green light, there would be no going back.
I swung by the station to switch out my clean uniforms with the dirty ones so I could drop them off at the laundry. As I opened my locker, I overheard two guys from the other shift talking on the other side.
"Have you gotten pushed by Vangel yet?" Brian said.
"Yeah, he hit me up yesterday before he left," Gavin replied. "That son-of-a-bitch is gunning for Lieutenant hardcore."
"Did he threaten to blackmail you?" Brian asked with a derisive laugh. "That asshole told me he'd release my financial records publicly if I didn't."
"What an asshole," Gavin said. "He told me he's got my juvenile court record. I told him that I was cited as a minor in possession of a six pack of MGD, so he was welcome to do it."
"Yeah, my financials are all about child support and mortgage," Brian laughed. "It's not really scandalous gossip, but you know, it did make me wonder how in the hell he got a hold of my information."
"I wondered that, too," Gavin said. "And then I realized that we're living in a world where everyone's information is available twenty-four-seven if you have the money to pay for it. I told him to fuck off and get out of my face."
"You think he's got any information on anyone that matters?" Brian asked.
"Beats me, but I guess we'll know when Chief asks for votes to support his promotion," Gavin said as he slammed his locker shut. "At that point, we should look into his supporter's backgrounds and see if we can't wring out a little cash!"
"That's cold, man," Brian laughed as they walked out of the locker room and back to the kitchen.
"That son of a bitch," I muttered under my breath as I gathered my dirty uniforms and tossed them in the laundry bag I'd drop off.
Back in the truck, I decided that this was a sign that I definitely needed to come clean -- to Alex and the rest of the world.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Alex
After our meeting with Professor Jackson, Liz and I went to anatomy lab where the cabal of evil girls grinned with satisfaction over their plot to ruin both Liz and I. Liz shot them a death stare from the moment we walked in while I focused on trying to make sure we followed the lab instructions to a tee.
"Everything going all right?" Robert asked as he circulated through the lab helping fix small issues with scales and other equipment.
"Yes, fine," I said brusquely as I sliced into a sample of tendon tissue we were studying.
"No, actually it's all pretty shitty," Liz said cheerfully as she mounted her tissue on a slide and stained it.
"What's wrong, Baker?" Robert asked. "You look like you've done it right."
"Oh no, the lab is peachy," Liz replied as she slipped the slide under the microscope and adjusted the lenses. Raising her voice to a level loud enough to carry across the room, she said, "It's that useless bitch over there, who doesn’t know what she's talking about, that is causing all the problems."
"Are you talking to me, Baker?" Violet asked in a bored tone. Jessica and Lydia looked up from their microscopes and shook their heads at Liz before looking back at Violet for approval.
"Not sure there's anyone else in the room I'd call a bitch, so yes, I believe I am," Liz replied with her eyes pressed to the microscope.
"Girls..." Robert interrupted.
"Well, I'm not the one they caught cheating, now am I?" Violet said smugly.
"No, you're not," Liz replied with a saccharine cheerfulness. "But you are the snitch who falsely accused me and Alex of cheating, now aren't you?"
"Why would I do such a terrible thing?" Violet said in a voice that matched Liz's fake cheerfulness.
"I have no idea," Liz smiled. "Maybe it's because you're a miserable bitch who can't stand to see anyone else succeed, or maybe it's because your mommy and daddy just don't love you enough. Only your therapist knows for sure."
"You'd better watch what you say, Baker," Violet said in a voice that seethed with rage as she narrowed her eyes. "You're nothing, and people who are nothing have a way of sinking to the bottom."
"Baker! Metzler! Enough!" Robert yelled. "I'll not have this nonsense in my lab. If you're going to fight, I'm going to call the program director and have her come down here to talk with you."
"She started it," Violet whined. "She's always so angry and mean."
"Shut up, Violet," Liz and I said in unison.
"I do not want to hear another word out of any of you for the rest of the lab," Robert said as he shuffled papers on his desk. "I've had enough of these stupid petty squabbles. Grow up!"
"But..." Violet protested.
"I'm not kidding, Metzler," Robert said sticking to his guns. "I've had enough. Shut up and do your work. Not another word, unless it directly relates to the lesson in front of you."
I looked over at Liz and found her wearing a grin that stretched from ear to ear as she evaluated the slide and made notes.
#
After lab, Liz and I grabbed lunch from a food cart and took it back to my apartment. Liz dropped her coat at the door and headed for the couch where she collapsed in a heap and promptly fell asleep before she could eat her lunch.
I thought about waking her up, but since we had a few hours before we were due at the hospital, I decided to let her sleep. I watched her for a while and thought about how pale and thin she looked, but then we'd been out of the sun for nearly five months, so we were all pale. And the nursing program was stressful for everyone. How many of us hadn't either lost or gained weight? I ate my lunch and decided not to get too worked up about things.
There was a message on my phone from Cam asking me to call him as soon as I could, so I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up. I got his voicemail and left a message telling him I'd be home for a few hours before heading to the hospital if he wanted to talk to me.
I sat down at my desk and went over my practice exam trying to figure out why Professor Jackson would have accused Liz and me of cheating. We'd never cheated, not this time and never before this. I got up and went to Liz's bag and dug through it to find her test. I laid the tests side by side and began going over each question and answer.
It took me an hour to get through the entire exam, but by the time I was finished, I could see why we'd been accused of cheating -- it appeared that Liz had copied my exam in its entirety. I was shocked. I'd never known Liz to do anything dishonest, and I couldn't imagine why she would have done this. She had a photographic memory and had never needed to do much more than read the materials. I thought about waking her up, but as I studied her, for the first time, I could see that my friend had a problem.
"Liz, wake up," I said as I gently shook her. "Wake up, Liz. We need to talk."
"Huh? What?" Liz mumbled as she surfaced from beneath the blanket I'd covered her with. "What's up, Alex? Is it time to go?"
"Liz, sit up and talk to me," I said as I pulled her arm. "We have to talk."
"Um, okay," she said sleepily rubbing her eyes. "About what?"
"This," I said holding up our exam papers. "What happened? Why does your exam look exactly like mine?"
"Maybe because we're study buddies?" she said sitting up and looking very awake. "Where did you get that?"
"Your bag," I said as I tossed the two exams on her lap and stared at her. "Explain why your exam looks exactly like mine."
"Dunno," she shrugged. "Luck or coincidence?"
"Liz, I'm not kidding around here," I said in a hurt tone. "This might cost us our degrees. What happened?"
"I'm telling you, Alex, it's a coincidence!" she shouted as she threw the papers at me. "God, you don't even believe me! I didn't do anything wrong!"
"I just have a hard time believing that this is a coincidence," I said as she pushed herself up off of the couch and started pacing the room. "Tell me what's going on, Liz! Why did you cheat?"
"Why did I cheat? Why did I cheat?" she shouted. "For the last fucking time, Alex, I didn't cheat!"
"Fine," I said in very businesslike tone. "Then what's going on with you, Liz? Why are you wavering between lucid and out of it? Why are you so thin and pale? What is going on?"
"What the fuck?" Liz said as she stopped pacing and stared at me. "Not you, too. Jesus. I told you I don't have a drug problem, Alex. I'm not using drugs. I've been sick lately. I don't know what's wrong, I just haven't felt well."
"Then let's make an appointment to have you get checked out, Liz," I pleaded. "If you're not using drugs or drinking, we need to find out what's wrong."
"No, I'm fine!" she shouted. "I'm just tired and stressed and the last thing I need is you, of all people, getting on my case about what it is I need to do! If you don't believe me, then I guess I should just say fuck it!"
"I do believe you, Liz," I said trying to calm her down but she was having none of it. "I just want to understand what's going on! Aside from the fact that I'm worried about you, this is starting to affect me, too!"
"Oh yes, and we certainly wouldn't want to affect the perfect princess and her straight A grades, now would we?" Liz shot back in a mocking tone as she pulled on her shoes and grabbed her coat.
"Liz, stop!" I pleaded. "Let's get some help and find out what's wrong!"
"Screw you, Pierce," she said as she grabbed her backpack from the coffee table and headed out the door. She yanked the door open and then turned toward me, "I thought you were my friend."
"I am," I said as the tears welled up, but she'd already slammed the door behind her and my words hung in the empty space left between us.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Cam
I needed to see Alex, that much I knew for certain. I wanted to explain my mysterious departure and I wanted to find a way to get her to stay in my life. I knew after hearing her clipped message that she was pissed at me for disappearing, and I didn't blame her. I listened to her voicemail message and knew things were not looking good for me.
"Cam, it's Alex. I'm returning your call. If you want to talk to me, then find me at the hospital tonight. I'll be there from ten until ten tomorrow morning. I'm sure there will be some window of time in which we can discuss what happened last night. If I don't see you, then I guess we'll figure out another time. Take care."
I dropped my uniforms off at the cleaners and went home. Alex's message had made it very clear that I had a lot of explaining to do, and I didn't blame her a bit for being mad. Alex wouldn't be at work for a few more hours, so I changed into my sweats and sneakers and took Tesla for a long run.
As I ran, I thought about what I was going to tell Alex. I knew there was a good chance that she was going to dump me as soon as I told her who I was and how I made my money, but I also knew that there was no way I was going to be able to keep a secret from her once I told Leo that we would accept Metzler's conditions for the contract.
I also thought about Quinn. As painful as it had been to hear it, Leo was right. Quinn would have been highly disappointed to learn that I'd shut myself off from almost everything. She'd have scolded me for being so closed-minded and afraid of change, but I hadn't been ready to let anyone else in.
"We're going to have to open up and let go of the idea that we can control it all, girl," I huffed as Tesla and I ran. She ran a little ahead of me and then dropped back to match my stride as I talked to her. "I'm not sure how this is going to go, though. I don't know if Alex will like how our life works."
Tesla let out a short woof as she ran and then picked up the pace as she spotted a baby rabbit moving around under some bushes. She took off like a flash and yanked hard on the leash.
"Tesla! Stop!" I yelled as the baby rabbit sped off under the bush. I caught up to her a few seconds later and stopped to catch my breath as she nosed around the bush. "Let it go, girl. It's a baby."
"Woof!" she replied as she sat down and stared at the dense cover waiting for the baby bunny to reappear. I yanked on her leash and urged her to get moving again, and after a few tugs, she gave up her vigil and ran with me.
"You're hopeless, you know?" I laughed as we pounded the pavement and headed for home. Back at the house, I fed Tesla before showering and making my own dinner. It was still early, so I decided to stop by O'Neil's and have a beer before I went to find Alex.
"Hey, Cam, it's been awhile!" Billy called as he grabbed a bottle of Fat Tire and held it up with a questioning look.
"Nah, give me a Blue Moon tonight," I said shaking my head. "I gotta keep my wits about me."
"You negotiating something?" Billy asked half-seriously.
"Something like that," I grinned.
"Must be a woman," he observed as he poured me a draft and stuck an orange slice on the edge of the glass.
"How'd you know?" I laughed.
"There's only two things you stay sober to negotiate," he replied. "Women and speeding tickets."
"Is that right, Billy?" I laughed harder as I sipped my beer and looked around the place. There were a few tables full of tourists and the bar was lined with regulars who all waved at me and then turned their attention back to the hockey game on the big screen behind the bar.
"So, who's the woman?" Billy asked as he ran a sink full of hot water and began washing bar glasses.
"Her name's Alex," I said knowing that I could tell Billy anything and my secrets would stay safe with him. He was like the Fort Knox of firefighter confessions. "She's a nursing student over at the college and is doing her internship at General."
"I see," Billy nodded. "How you feeling about that?"
"Honestly, mixed up," I said as I ran my finger down the side of my beer glass leaving a line in the perspiration. "I'm not sure how I should feel."
"She know about Quinn?" he asked as he dunked a glass into the suds, scrubbed with his rag and then plunged the glass into the rinse water.
"Yeah, she's fine with it," I nodded.
"She know about the other business?" Billy asked. I'd told him about CSC one drunken evening when I was worried that I wouldn't be able to come up with the cash to keep it going. Billy had suggested that I find a few partners, but I'd blown off the idea once I'd gotten the life insurance check. I hadn't wanted to keep any of the money, but Leo had convinced me that I needed to invest it, even if I wasn't going to spend it myself. Billy had seconded Leo's advice, so I'd done it.
"No, but I'm going to tell her tonight," I said. "Leo's landed a big client and we're going to have to go public with the ownership to keep the contract."
"How do you feel about that?" Billy asked as one of the regulars signaled for another drink. "Be right back."
I used the time to think about how I really felt about all of this. I was angry that I was being forced to show myself and become the focus of attention again. I'd had enough of it to last a lifetime after Quinn had died, but now I wondered if I hadn't gotten to deep into my own need for privacy.
"I think I'm okay with it," I said when Billy returned from delivering the drink. "I think it's good for me to let go of the past and start to live in the present now. And maybe the attention on CSC will be a good thing for me and Leo."
"Sounds like a good attitude," Billy said with a knowing smile. "It's good to see you branching out."
"It feels good to start to live again," I nodded.
"Women will do that to you," Billy grinned. "You sure you're ready for that?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," I said as Billy reached across the bar and slapped my shoulder.
I sat and shot the breeze with him for another hour before I realized that Alex had started her shift at the ho
spital and I needed to see her.
#
I parked on a side street and walked in through the emergency entrance. A receptionist looked at me and held up a clipboard full of forms before she realized who I was. She buzzed me through to the ER and I went in search of Alex.
"She's down in the stock room in the basement," the shift nurse said. "She should be back up in a few minutes."
"I'll go find her, if that's okay," I said as I turned toward the freight elevator.
"Suit yourself," the charge nurse shrugged. "Tell her we need more 4x4 bandages as well."
I saluted her as I hit the button and waited for the elevator to take me to the basement. It was dark downstairs and I wasn't sure which way the supply room was until I saw a light at the end of the hallway to the right.
"Alex? You down here?" I called as I walked toward the light.
"Over here!" she called as I continued down the hallway and found her standing on top of a ladder trying to reach a large box on top of a cabinet. I could see that she was precariously perched on the top step, so I moved to the ladder and held it steady. I couldn't help but stare at her round bottom and remember the way it had felt in my hands the night before. She looked down and caught me staring and smiled as she said, "Thanks."
"Toss the box down," I said after she'd found what she was looking for. "I'll catch it."
"No, it's fine," she said primly as she navigated her way down the steps holding the box. Once she was back on the ground, she looked up at me and said, "So, you had something you wanted to say?"
There was something about Alex's face that brought down all of my defenses. She stood looking up at me expectantly as I searched for the right words to say.
"Alex, I have to tell you something," I began. She looked so lovely. I couldn't stop myself from reaching out and gently stroking her cheek. "I...I...I..." The next thing I knew, I was leaning forward wrapping my arms around her to pull her to me so I could kiss her.
Alex's body stiffened in my arms, but her lips softened as she kissed me back. My hands roamed her body desperately seeking a way to get under her scrubs to touch her skin, and when I found it I sighed into her lips and kissed her harder.