Between running into a burning barn so I wouldn’t risk my life to save the horses and searching me out when all he had to work with was a broken text message. Maybe it was luck or a gut feeling that had brought him to that house, but I really think it was our connection. We were drawn together, and that magnetism had pulled him to where I was right before the unthinkable could occur. I couldn’t explain it or even know how to handle it, but I did know it was a testament to his feelings for me. I now fully believed he was madly in love with me. Still, that love didn’t mean we were on Easy Street yet. We hadn’t actually sat down and discussed the future at all. We hadn’t talked about how things would work, where we would live, or how we would handle leaving one of our homes.
We were flying by at that moment, enjoying being in love, and as much as I wanted to continue that, figuring out the future was better to do earlier rather than later. Every day that went by without that conversation would make the choices that much harder to make, especially if we had to decide to part ways. Though he had said he was staying, I sure wasn’t sure he was being serious when he said it. There was a really good chance he could come to me and ask me to move back to New York City with him. Just the thought of that made me anxious, and it wasn’t the move or the city, but it was the answer itself. I had no idea what I would say if he asked me to move there. I’d had enough of that place the first time around, and though I knew things would be calmer, some things like the press and the exes knocking on the door would continue the same. It was an impossible choice to make.
In the end, though, no matter how hard the choice might be, I was going to eventually have to make it. It was going to be up to me, I assumed, and part of me felt upset about that. How was I supposed to choose? On one hand, I could have the life I always wanted, with the horses, the practice, the small-town life, and the peace and quiet I craved. On the other hand, I had the man I wanted more than any other, standing there reaching his hand out to me. The man had gone through hell and literal fire to be with me and had flown all this way just to see my face. I had to choose between two things that were incredibly different but similar in that they were what I wanted.
Not to sound like a child, but it wasn’t fair that I had to choose. I wanted them both. I wanted to live in Bonanza, go to the town fair, eat funnel cake, buy a farmhouse, and have beautiful babies, and all with Ryan. I didn’t want one without the other, but what could I do if that choice was not on the table? I felt like we had been through so much, and this was that one last boulder standing in the way of our happy ending. It was the nagging choice at the end of the rainbow where you had to choose to lose something to have everything you ever wanted. It was an impossible thing, and I wasn’t even sure I had it in me to make the choice.
Chapter 69
Ryan
Sara might have gone to work for the day, but that didn’t mean I was going to sit back and do nothing. I wanted her to feel special, to feel loved, and I had something really important to talk to her about. So, instead of doing the normal extravagance like renting out a restaurant or a yacht or something, I decided a romantic dinner at home was just the ticket. We would be able to be together and have some much-needed privacy. I had gone through the groceries she had dropped on Saturday and was surprised how many I was able to salvage. They were covered in red wine and spaghetti sauce, but that was something I could work around. After cleaning off the cans and jars of food and wiping down the produce, I took a survey of what I had to work with. It was good, but I needed a couple more things to make it perfect. I grabbed my keys and headed out of the house, in a fantastic mood.
I drove down to the General Store and was kindly greeted by an older couple, who were friendlier than I was used to in that town, which was saying something since most everyone there was constantly smiling. When I went inside, I was greeted by everyone like I was a local hero, the guy who had saved their Sara and the horses and all in a two-week time period. I realized that beyond the hero thing, I was starting to really warm up to the people here. I was happy to see them, and they always remembered my name and asked about the ranch.
In New York City, people looked at me like the newbie in the rich world, tainted by my very tainted past. They looked at me like a criminal, like someone they couldn’t trust, and going to those events was almost torturous. In Bonanza, even though everyone there had read the stories, my reputation was sterling. Instead of judging me on the past, they judged me on what I had done since I came to the town. I couldn’t help thinking that maybe it was the sign that I had been looking for the last couple of weeks.
When Sara got home, I smiled, walking over and kissing her gently on the forehead. I set her bag on the counter and led her over to the table. I pulled out her chair and pushed it in behind her, walking back into the kitchen. She didn’t say a word, just watched me with a smirk on her face as I plated our food and brought it over to the table. I sat her plate down in front of her and took the seat across the table, waiting for her to try my creations. She chuckled as she looked down at the barbecue chicken, mushroom rice, and fresh green beans.
“Wow,” she said, taking a bite. “This is amazing. I love the sauce, and the garlic in the rice is amazing. I think that maybe somewhere along the way, you missed your calling. Seriously, and never tell my mother I said this, but your barbecue chicken is the best I’ve ever had. I can’t keep chicken moist to save my life. It always becomes dry and crumbly for some reason.”
“Heat it a lower temperature for longer and baste it.” I smiled.
“Right.” She laughed. “You should have been a chef. You could dip your barbecue chicken in gold and serve it to rich people in New York.”
“They would eat anything dipped in gold.” I laughed. “Even dog shit if I told them it was the latest trend.”
“So gross.” She laughed, covering her mouth.
We sat and talked as we ate our dinner and laughed about the hero persona I had gotten around town. She looked so beautiful and calm like something had changed inside of her. She was even more amazing than when she had left that morning. When we were done with dinner, I pulled out the cheesecake for dessert.
“You made cheesecake?”
“Yep,” I said, plating it. “Okay, no. I’m totally lying. I picked up a cheesecake from the barbecue place on the way back here today. I kept seeing it in their dessert display, and I had to have it.”
“Well, you made an excellent choice,” she said, taking the plate from me as I walked over.
“So,” I said. “I have something I want to talk to you about. Nothing bad, I promise. I just need to get it off my mind, you could say.”
“Oh,” she said, surprised. “That’s funny because I have something I want to talk to you about too. I guess it’s not bad either. It really depends on which way the conversation goes.”
“Okay,” I said carefully. “That makes me nervous.”
“No.” She laughed. “Don’t be nervous. It’s a conversation we have to have, and it includes my feelings on the subject. I know eventually, we’ll have to talk about it, and I want to get it out of the way now instead of waiting. Sometimes waiting to talk about things can be a bad thing.”
“I agree,” I said, shaking my head. “But, ladies first.”
“Okay,” she said letting out a deep breath. “When we met for the first time, I knew I was going to like you. I didn’t think it would come this far, but I definitely liked being around you, laughing at your jokes and just having a good time. Over the last couple of months, a lot has happened between us. We’ve had really big highs and really big lows, but it’s always brought us back to here, being together, unsure of what the future holds.”
“True,” I said, listening intently.
“I think I knew I love you from the first date,” she said. “But I didn’t allow myself to acknowledge that. I never believed in love at first sight or anything like that. But now, at least here in this moment, I know for sure that I love you, that I love you more than I have
ever loved any man in my life. I yearn to be near you, I struggle when you’re gone, and when you’re not in my life, those brief moments, I’m absolutely miserable. That being said, I grew up here in Bonanza. I took my first steps here, had my first kiss here, left here, came back here, and even buried a few very good friends here. I love this place like I love you. You, well, you’re from a place that feels like a whole other country sometimes. You have this amazing life back in New York City, one with luxury and fancy parties and rich friends. And I really tried to love it, to be part of it with you, but it didn’t work for me. My life is here in Bonanza. I love you so much, and I think about that almost every single day. I walked around today thinking about how lucky I was, how I should never take things for granted. I just cannot give this all up, I can’t give up my life here, and though I may be miserable here without you, I would be miserable with you in New York City, and that isn’t fair to either of us. I know love is supposed to conquer all, but sometimes, I feel like that just isn’t the case like this circumstance.”
I could see the pain in her eyes as she told me that, and I could see how much she loved me. I could see how much it would kill her for us not to be together, but she loved her town. I stood up and walked over to her chair, kneeling down on one knee beside her. I pulled her face toward mine and kissed her gently on the forehead. She looked at me sadly as I pulled my hand up and stroked her cheek, looking deeply into her beautiful eyes. I admired her for her bravery, for being able to love me that much but still be completely honest.
“Are you finished?”
“Yes,” she said, looking down.
“Good,” I said, lifting her chin. “I have something to say to you too. I don’t expect you to give up your life for me.”
“What about your life?” she said. “You have something huge, something you built through some of the hardest circumstances. You have this beautiful life you were perfectly happy in until you met me. I could never expect you to give up your life if I’m not willing to give up mine.”
“That would put us in a tight situation, now wouldn’t it?” I laughed. “But you have it all wrong. You are my life, and wherever you are, that’s where my life will be. All those things in New York are just that, things. They’re fancy books, big windows, tall buildings, and friends who really only like me for my money.”
“Except Alec,” she pointed out.
“Yes, except Alec.” I laughed. “Most of those things can be brought here, at least the material items, and I can run a company from anywhere. None of that matters to me, though, not without you by my side.”
“I’m sorry.” she laughed, shaking her head. “I just can’t see how you’ll be happy with that decision. A billionaire born in the big city, living in a town of fewer than five hundred people? You will regret that choice eventually, and it will be the death of us. You’ll resent me for not leaving, for making you give everything up.”
“I could never resent you, and I’ll always remember this conversation where you fought me on giving you the relationship you always wanted, and how I wouldn’t let you change my mind because I love you so much.” I laughed. “You are always thinking of others. You need to think about yourself for once.”
“But this life is so different,” she said.
“Different but amazing,” I replied. “I want the town fair, the tree lighting, the sledding, the hot summers, rainy springs, grumpy old elders, and everything else that goes along with it. It sounds like the life I always wanted but never thought I could have. I have fallen in love with not just you but with Bonanza as well, and it’s home to me if you want it to be.”
I reached into the back of my pants underneath my sport coat and pulled out the large jeweler box that contained the jewels I had borrowed for her to wear to the gala. I held it behind my back for a moment, feeling my nerves etching up into my throat. This was the moment of truth, the moment I would find out if what she said about loving me was true or not. This was the moment my life could change for the better or plummet me into oblivion. I never thought I would be so nervous, but she worth every nerve in my body. I pulled out the box and handed it to her, watching her eyes grow big.
“I bought this for you because after seeing you in them at the gala, I knew they would never look half as beautiful on anyone else,” I said. “I know you don’t have anywhere to wear them here, and that’s okay, even if you just put them on once a year in the mirror to remember the true princess you really are, then I’m fine with that. You deserve to have the world, anything you want.”
She slowly opens the box and stared down at the jewels, putting her hand over her lips. I smiled at her reaction and watched as she realized there was one extra box inside. She ran her hand over the stones and stopped.
“There’s an extra box in here,” she said. “This smaller one.”
I smiled and nodded my head, reaching across her and opening it up. Inside was a huge diamond engagement ring, sparkling in its golden setting. I pulled the box out and held it up in front of me, turning her toward me.
“Sara, I love you more than anything in the world,” I said. “I can’t live without you and would run through burning barns for you. Please make me the happiest man on earth and be my wife.”
“Yes,” she said with laughter and tears. “Yes, of course, I will.”
I smiled, slipping the ring onto her finger and leaning in, kissing her passionately. She wrapped her hands around my neck and fell into my arms. I was the happiest man on earth, and I had finally gotten my happily ever after.
Epilogue
2 Years Later
Sara
The colors in the sky during Oregon sunsets were really like nothing I had ever experienced anywhere else. They were vibrant in color and had a sense of peace and tranquility to them. The last two years had been a whirlwind but in a good way. Just six months after Ryan proposed, we got married. The entire town was invited, and though the ceremony was elegant and beautiful, Ryan surprised me with a town fair bigger than any before as our reception. It really was the best. After that, we easily settled into life. Ryan’s ranch had been up and running for a while, and the government was so impressed with what it did, they signed a contract with his company. They would be placing the solar stations all over the country. It was his dream made into a reality. I couldn’t be prouder of him.
The stables were running like clockwork, and Alison was having the time of her life with the barn Ryan had built. She had everything she ever needed and ever wanted all in one place. Then, to add to it, for my wedding gift from Ryan he adopted ten needy horses to add to the organization. It finally made sense why he had commissioned the barn to be so huge during the rebuild after the fire. I spent a lot of time there, even when the surprise arrived.
Just three months after we were married, during one of my routine doctor checkups, I found out I was pregnant. I guess we waited no time at all to start a family. Ryan was ecstatic, and so was I. It was an incredibly exciting time. He waited on me hand and foot during the whole pregnancy, and I couldn’t have imagined a better partner in life. In the end, we had a beautiful, healthy baby girl named Alyse who was getting ready to celebrate her first birthday very soon. She was a handful like I was when I was a little girl, but it helped that we had a lot of room for her to run. We ended up buying the piece of land adjacent to the stables and built our dream farmhouse on it. I could sit on my porch, watch the horses graze across the road, and laugh as my blond-haired little girl laughed and giggled, playing with the dogs in the front yard. She had the life I’d wanted to have for her.
Ryan was an amazing father, and I couldn’t help looking at him in awe every time I watched how gentle, loving, and kind he was to our daughter. He was the father I always dreamed my children would have. We took Alyse everywhere, and when I had to work at the practice, which had grown leaps and bounds, she would have her beloved daddy-daughter time. I ended up hiring my assistant full-time, got to spend more time with my family, and still make sure t
he animals of the town were cared for.
As far as Janson was concerned, I had only seen him one more time since the night he kidnapped me, and that was when I stood up in court to testify against him. He still had that same old smug look on his face. However, when the jury convicted him, pronouncing him guilty of all charges, and the judge handed down a thirty-year sentence in a high-security facility, that smile quickly wiped away. That chapter of my life closed that day, and I was more than happy to never have to open it back up again. It made me a stronger woman, and that was the only thing I would take with me into the future.
Life had turned out beyond my wildest dreams. When I was a little girl, I had hoped for a future that involved an amazing husband, beautiful children, and the ability to take care of animals like I always wanted. Well, I had that life and so much more. Ryan had turned from the man I loved to the man I respected, cared for, cared with, and walked beside. He was the person I would grow old with one day, and that in itself was an amazing feat after everything we had been through.
“Hey,” Ryan said, interrupting my thoughts. “We were just wondering where you were.”
“Hey there.” I smiled, turning around and taking Alyse into my arms. “Were you having fun with Daddy?”
She smiled and nodded her head wildly, looking out at the sun. I laughed and kissed Ryan sweetly on the cheek, turning back to the sunset behind us. Ryan put his arm around my shoulder and sighed.
“It’s so beautiful,” he said. “We have the perfect life. Now, all we need is a few more kids, and we’ll be good.”
“Well, I don’t know about a few more, but I can promise one more in about eight months,” I said, turning to him and beaming with pride.
“Oh my god,” he said. “Another one? This is fantastic.”
My Last First Kiss: A Single Father Secret Baby Novel Page 64