My heart almost stopped in my chest. I'd made myself a promise at our high school graduation when he wouldn't even look at me after seven years of being together. I'd never look back after that day. I'd never go find him or look him up or pray in time that he would be mine. Never.
"Is he now? Good for him." I spread my pink lipstick over my lips and pursed them a few times as my chest contracted and pain laced my insides.
"Awww... come on. It's me right here. I was there for all of it, remember?" She leaned toward the counter where I stood. "Stop acting like you don't still think about him."
"I don't." I ignored the warmth in her chestnut eyes. "There's no need to. He was the perfect lie, and he got what he was after. One shitty night of horrible sex, me crying like a child and the fear that we'd get caught. It was awesome, oh but wait, no it wasn't. Not at all. It sucked, just like him."
She laughed and followed me out of the bathroom. "I think you're full of shit. I don't think this Luke guy is the guy for you at all."
"You think I should turn down this big diamond tonight and go in search of Caden? Confess my dying love for him and hope that he's not married with three kids already?"
"He's not. I checked." She shrugged and gave me a cocky grin as I glanced over my shoulder.
"You sure you're good here? I feel like shit for leaving you on your first night in town." I grabbed my purse and keys.
"I'm great. I'm going to clean out your fridge and leave the imprint of my ass on your big fancy couch." She smiled and walked to stand in front of me. "You don't need to settle. That's all I'm saying."
"I don't know, Dana. Love isn't what you think it is. It hurts more often than not, and it always disappoints."
"It was six years ago. It's time to get over it and see if something still exists between you guys." She reached out and ran her hand down my arm. "Don't make a mistake tonight."
I nodded but didn't respond. If Luke proposed, I was going to accept. Caden Taylor hadn't been in my life in six years, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to invite him to fuck it up again.
Once was plenty.
***
"Wow. Don't you look good enough to eat?" Luke stood up from the table he was sitting at and reached for me.
"Oh yeah? You hungry?" I moved into his arms and lifted onto my toes to meet him in a long kiss. Where I didn't love him, I liked him - a lot. He was perfect for my life and fit beautifully in the future I had plotted out. Love wasn't part of the charted course, but it was for the better. Love was a weakness that I didn't want to entertain anymore.
"For you? Fuck yes." He nipped at my lips as his eyes darkened. He wasn't the most beautiful man I'd ever seen, but still intensely handsome. His light brown hair was cut close to his head, his brown eyes filled with mystery and his cocky smile fitting him well.
"Good. Let's have dinner and then maybe we can slip in dessert in the back of your car." I kissed him once more before moving across to the other side of the table.
He growled and sat down. "You're giving me a boner in the middle of a fancy restaurant. You should be spanked."
"I should. Agreed." I dragged my napkin down into my lap and picked up the wine menu.
"I already got us a bottle of your favorite." His eyes moved across my face and down as I glanced up.
"What’s the big news tonight? Don't make me wait. You know how much I hate surprises." I leaned back and dropped my hands into my lap.
"So bossy." He licked his lips and smiled. "You know I love you, right?"
Love. Such a strong word.
"I do know that." I turned as the waitress stopped by and offered him a quick sip of the wine before pouring us both a class. I took a quick sip of mine and tried not to show just how nervous I was. He was going to ask me to marry him. I had no doubt. I'd yet to be able to tell him that I loved him because I didn't, but it didn't matter. Much like an arranged marriage, we just fit together in the business world and the bedroom. That was enough for him, and more than enough for me.
The desire for a three-bedroom house in the country with a white picket fence and three kids died a long time ago. Without someone to build my dreams with, they'd begun to wilt. I could barely remember all the desires from my teenage years. It seemed like a million years ago as I sat across from one of the most powerful investment partners in New York.
"I've spoken with my brother and our other partner at Taylor, Taylor, and Barden. They're on board for meeting you tomorrow night if you're still up to coming to our company party." He lifted his glass to his lips but paused. "You are still coming, right?"
"Of course. My best friend, Dana, is in town, so she'll be with me." I took a drink and set my glass down. "Stop pussy-footing around. What's the deal tonight? Tell me."
He laughed and set his glass down. "You're right. I'm just nervous."
"Don't be. I'm going to say yes." I extended my hand across the table and squeezed his fingers as he reached for me.
"Good. I want you to come work for me. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Start as a senior investor and then we'll talk about partnership."
"Done." I squeezed his hand and sat back again. "Anything else?"
"Come home with me and let me eat you out on the kitchen table." He lifted his eyebrow and sucked his thick bottom lip into his mouth.
"Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow. You already made me miss the first night of Dana being here. Such a greedy ass." I glanced down at the menu before me as a mixture of relief and disappointment swirled deep inside of me.
Did I really want to marry him?
Was there any better option? Doubtful.
Chapter 4
Caden
I'd made the mistake of stopping by the bar down the street the night before. The pretty blonde reminded me just enough of Olivia to take her home with me. The sex had been sub-par at best, but it was still sex. She was a practiced moaner if nothing else.
"Hey, pretty girl. I need to get going. You wanna get up and grab your stuff?" I rubbed my hand down her back, trying as hard as I could to be polite. Something inside of me wanted to snap at the dissatisfaction I had with life in general, but she didn't deserve my angst. No one did.
"Hmmm?" She rolled over and gave me a sleepy smile. She was pretty, but nothing to gawk at.
"I gotta go. Come on. Grab your stuff and I'll walk you out." I forced a smile.
"I'll let myself out. Go ahead and go. I'm not going to take anything." She rolled back over.
"Lyndsay, I need to get to work, sweetheart. Come on and get up." I tugged the covers off, enjoying the view as the woman definitely took care of herself. Why I couldn't be more like my brother and take pleasure in the carnality of sex regardless if love was involved was beyond me. I had to believe with the right woman I would find myself again. The last six years had been one relational fuck up after the next.
"Okay. Okay. Jeez." She swatted my hand away.
"You want a cup of coffee to go?" I turned and walked to the kitchen to give her some privacy.
"No, I'm good. I'm just not a morning person. If I'd known we were getting up at ass-dark-thirty, I would have gone home with someone else."
I chuckled under my breath and ran my hand down the front of my face. Home with someone else? Maybe she wasn't the whore. Maybe I was.
After fixing myself a mug of coffee, I jingled my keys. "Let's go, lady."
"All right. I'm coming." She walked toward the door, not looking at me. "Thanks for last night. It'll be six hundred dollars."
I almost spit out the coffee in my mouth. "What? Is that a joke?"
"Yeah. Was it funny?" She opened the door and gave me a cheeky grin. "Later handsome."
The door closed and I growled loudly before walking back to the bedroom to change my shirt. I had several important meetings scheduled throughout the day. The last thing I needed was coffee splattered across my damn shirt.
The smell of our sex slapped me in the face as I walked into the bedroom, and my stomach constricted. Some part of me wanted
to give up hope on finding her. Whoever she was.
Olivia.
"No, not her. Never her." I tugged my shirt from my slacks and ripped it over my head. My high school girlfriend was a powerful woman from my vantage point. The bitch still had my thoughts, my desires, and my heart. Why was she so hard to shake?
"Love. It was love." I stopped in front of the mirror and ran my hand over my chest. I needed to get back to the gym and take my brokenness out on a heavy set of weights instead of settling for a shitty sex life and moving through life like a well-contained zombie.
I pushed the thoughts of Olivia out of my mind as they moved from warm fuzzy memories to the last night we were together. She had thrown away seven years because she was scared of us sleeping together and whatever the results of that could be as if I'd forced her. It was her damn idea. I was fine waiting.
"Are we really having this fucking conversation again?" I grabbed another shirt and jerked it over my arms as anger burned through me. I needed to see a counselor. I had to be the only moron in New York that walked around thinking about a relationship that ended six years ago when I was nothing more than a lovesick boy. I wasn't him anymore, but some part of that guy still lingered, and no matter how many random women I took to my bed or bottles of liquor I drank... nothing would shut him up.
The fact that she was somewhere in the city was even worse. For the last year, I'd been living with my eyes wide open, looking for a ghost. For an eighteen-year-old girl from my past with beautiful blonde hair and big blue eyes filled with love - for me.
***
Traffic was horrible getting into the office, and I'd almost made it to my block when it came to a dead stop. Some poor guy had broken down and was trying to push his car over to the side of the road without much success. I waited for a second to see if anyone would help me, but no one got out.
I grumbled and pulled out of the traffic to park on the side of the city street before getting out and jogging over to him.
"Need some help, buddy?" I smiled as he glanced up from the open driver's side door and nodded.
"Fuck yes. I swear there are a million people in this city and not one of them would get out and help me. I hate it here." He nodded to my side of the car. "Open that door and help me push?"
"I'm from Texas. It's sorta beat into us that helping is what you were created for." I laughed and opened the door before putting my shoulder into it and pushing hard. The poor guy had to be in his late fifties and was sweating profusely. The fact that it was summertime and the temperatures were unbearable for most people, felt like winter to me. People didn't know what hot was until they visited the south in August.
We got the car to the side of the road and he closed his door and walked around, offering me a hand. "Thank you so much. I'm Seth Martin."
I shook his hand. "I'm Caden Taylor."
"I thought you looked familiar." He shook my hand and chuckled. "Your partner, Luke Taylor, tried to sell me some investment advice a few years back."
"I bet he did." I released his hand. "Your design firm is doing wonders for the city. I'm sure if anyone realized you were the power behind the artsy week in Central Park each year they would have tripped over themselves to help you."
"True, but it's sad that people need a reason to help someone else." He reached out and patted my shoulder. "Come talk to me about investments next week. Schedule something with my secretary. I'm not interested in working with Luke, but I'll give you a shot to tell me what you boys can do for me."
"Of course. You gonna be all right? Need a lift somewhere?" I nodded toward his broke down Lexus.
"Nope. Someone will be here in seconds. Just needed to get the damn thing off the road." He smiled and moved back toward the car. "Thanks again, Caden. Schedule something for us."
"Yes, Sir. Of course." I turned and walked back to my car, a little shocked at the fact that of all the people in the city, I would get the chance to help out Seth Martin. Luke was going to shit himself. He had an "O-list" that he kept on his wall. Those clients that he wanted more than his next orgasm. The guy was a fucker, for sure.
Seth Martin was at the top of the list. The man had more money than God.
I smiled as I drove to the office, thinking through my brother’s reaction to the good news. The fact that Seth wasn't willing to work with Luke almost made it better. Luke had everything, and where I wasn't necessarily jealous, it was annoying as fuck. He was a total jerk to everyone but me. How the world bowed at his feet left me questioning the sanity of the people around me.
After parking the car, I made my way to the elevator with the large horde of people around me. The odd looks I got left me worried that maybe I had something on my face. I moved to the bathroom as I got off on my floor, but got stopped by Annie.
"Morning boss." She smiled and reached out to run her finger down my chest toward my stomach.
"Hey." I grabbed her hand and gave her a 'what the fuck' look.
"You have something on your shirt. Looks like a tire ran over your shirt." She giggled and pulled her hand from mine. "Luke has several extra shirts in his office. You're more muscular than him, but I'm sure one of them would fit. You want me to get you one of them?"
I glanced down and sighed. Somehow I'd gotten a thick black line across my white button down. It was going to be that day for sure.
"Yeah, get the biggest one you can find. I hate having something tight around my arms." I started to follow her to my brother's office, taking note of how good her pencil skirt fit her. Why was I denying the attention she kept giving? Right. Office romances always ended in scandal. No thanks.
"You're coming tonight, right?" She knocked on Luke's door, pressed her ear to it and opened it as I approached. "He's not here yet."
"Yeah, I'm coming." I walked in behind her and unbuttoned my shirt. It was a good thing I had on an undershirt as all I needed was for someone to find the two of us in Luke's office with me half dressed.
"Good. You know you could just go shirtless. We wouldn't mind." She laughed softly as she pulled another white shirt from Luke's closet.
"And tease all the ladies with my strapping southerly body? No way." I took the shirt and gave her a quick smile. "I had to help a guy out this morning. I wasn't paying attention."
"Aww... Did you help someone with their tire?" She crossed her arms over her chest, which only helped to accentuate the size of her breasts as they lifted.
"Not with a tire, but with his car breaking down." I turned from her and walked to the window to look out at the city. "A zillion people were on the road this morning and no one stopped."
"You did."
I glanced over my shoulder and nodded. "Yeah, but being the good guy gets you nowhere in life. At least not in this world."
"I think you underestimate your power." She moved up to stand beside me and swatted my hands away so that she could finish buttoning my shirt. "My boyfriend is a good guy. They're rare to find, but when you do-"
"You have a boyfriend?" I couldn't help but smile.
She swatted at me. "Yes. Of course. You don't?"
"Have a boyfriend? No." I tucked my shirt in and walked to the door. "And don't ask me about a girlfriend either."
"You're the boss. I'll not be asking."
"Hey," I paused at Luke's door and turned around to face her. "Do you know anything about this girl my brother's fallen for? He's wanting me to meet her tonight, but I hate not knowing anything."
"I know her name is Olivia, and she's a brilliant investment advisor for Tangling. That's all. He's kept her from all of us on purpose I think." She snorted as my muscles locked into place. "He plays the good guy with her, but she'll soon see around his facade."
"Or maybe not. It's been three years." My mind raced along the fucked up possibility that my brother was dating my girl. No. Olivia wasn't a common name, but still, what were the odds?
"Then maybe she's not as smart as he gives her credit for."
"Maybe not." I needed to resea
rch who this Olivia from Tangling was. Surely it wasn't her. It couldn't have been. The universe didn't hate me that much. Right?
Chapter 5
Olivia
"No ring?" Dana sat down at the kitchen table across from me. She'd been asleep by the time I got home the night before. With the slight time different from Texas to New York and the jet lag, she was out cold.
"No, but maybe it's a good thing." I shrugged and put a thick layer of butter on my toast.
"It's not fair that you get to eat that much butter and not look like the side of a barn." She smeared jelly on hers and huffed.
"I was raised on butter, remember?" I reached for the jelly. "My mom must have put butter on everything."
"Mine still does." Dana laughed. "Maybe it's that you got away from home after high school. I think I've put on twenty pounds thanks to my mom's cooking."
"You look great, and you know it. If you have someone as good looking at Dr. Tarrington looking at you... you're doing something right." I snorted. I didn't know Kendal Tarrington myself, but after hearing Dana rave about how sexy he was, I'd gone onto UT Dallas' website a few years back and checked him out. He was breathtaking, but something about him didn't sit right with me. Like he had a secret tucked behind his eyes. I was probably overthinking it seeing that all I'd seen was his professor picture on the website, but either way... I was leery.
"He is hot, isn't he?" She pressed her cheek to her closed fist and rested her elbow on the table. "He's completely off limits. I've been president of Beta Alpha Psi for the last two years and nothing. He won't even have a conversation with me unless ten other people are around to witness it."
"Is he your advisor for the fraternity?" Accounting people and their smartie-smartpants clubs. I'd never understood them.
"Yeah. He's a great advisor. He's a great teacher. He's-"
"I get it." I laughed before taking a big bite of my toast and trying to speak around the bread. "He's great."
My Last First Kiss: A Single Father Secret Baby Novel Page 80