"Thanks." I rolled over and pressed my face to the bed. "I have to break up with Luke."
"What? Hell no." She crawled up on the bed and lay down on her side, propping herself up with her elbow. "You're not breaking up with Luke. You're going to show Caden Taylor that your life is all you wanted it to be. He fucked things up back in high school. Hopefully, he's suffering."
"My life is nothing like I want it to be." I rolled back onto my back as a sob lodged in my throat. "I've just buried everything so deep inside of me that I've created a new life around it. A fake set of goals and ambitions that have little to do with who I really am... who I was."
Hot tears burned the sides of my face as I counted the ceiling tiles and prayed that the floor would open up and swallow me whole.
"Then get back to being you." Dana reached over and brushed my hair from my face. "And don't you change a damn thing for that bastard."
"What if he's not a bastard?" My voice broke as I rolled on my side to face her. I hadn't felt so insanely vulnerable in more than six years. Caden Taylor wasn't just in the city, but at the firm I was going to work for, at the party I was going to that night, the brother of my lover.
"Then we work through it day by day. Moment by moment." She wiped a tear from my face. "You remember when your dad used to say that all the time?"
"Yeah. I do." I discarded the memory as I didn't need another reason to cry. Caden was enough. My father dying my freshman year of college was still too real. Too raw. Even after five long years had passed. I'd created a new me. One that fit beautifully next to Luke and would one day rule the world of finance, but I didn't feel much like that solid fortress in the moment.
"We're going to that party tonight and when you see him... you have two choices."
"Fuck no." I shook my head and sat up. "There is no way I'm going tonight. I can't imagine seeing him after all these years."
"I bet he looks like heaven." She sat up and bumped her shoulder against mine.
"Wait. Are you for him or against him?" I moved to the edge of the bed and glanced back at her.
"I don't know." She shrugged and flopped back down. "I feel like people deserve a second chance and maybe we didn't get the full story in high school, you know? I mean, seven years of being the best boyfriend ever and then you guys sleep together and he's all of a sudden a horrible asshole that doesn't give you the time of day?"
"I was a lousy lay. At least that's what he told everyone. Remember?" I swallowed my regret and got up. I wasn't a lousy lay anymore. I'd slept with enough guys to prove to myself that I was possibly the best lay in all of New York. I ignored just how badly that same truth hurt the parts of me that only wanted one man in my bed for life. That girl was dead and buried. Weak and stupid to believe in such a thing.
"That's bullshit and you know it." She rolled off the bed and stood up. "We're going tonight. You need to face the past and show it, or really him, that you're good. Put this to bed tonight."
"And if I crumble?" Tears blurred my vision. "If I can't keep the part of me that wanted him beside me forever tucked away, then what, Dana? Are you going to rescue me? Take me back to Dallas with you and help me start over?"
"You're not running from your life over this idiot. It was high school. You have to find a way to make peace with this. It's been fucking with you far too long."
I walked to the closet to grab the sexiest dress I had. "What if this was never supposed to be my life in the first place? What if it was just a way to recreate myself?"
"Then run hard and fast. Ignore me completely, because of all the people in my life... you're the last one I would have ever wanted to see change. Face him tonight and figure out what happened."
***
Nerves tore up my insides as we drove toward Kadia. I had to get Dana to drive because my hands were shaking so bad it looked like I had a form of turrets. Bile rose in my chest and threatened to put me on my hands and knees before the closest toilet if I didn't chill the fuck out.
"You all right?" Dana reached out and squeezed my hand softly.
"I will be when this is over. I'm going to have to go in completely bitch mode to survive this shit." I swallowed and reached up to turn the air conditioner vents toward me.
"I'll be right beside you all night. If you need to get out of there, we'll leave. If you need me to divert him, you just give me the look and I'll step in."
I laughed in spite of my insides turning to mush. "You remember back in school when we used the code words, ‘dill pickle’ to get help from a shitty situation?"
She laughed loudly. "Yes. Why did we pick such stupid words? Do you know how hard it was to squeeze in the words 'dill pickle' in the middle of a conversation with someone so you would know I needed help?"
I chuckled and pointed to the club. "Right up here on the left. The big, beautiful place with all of the lights."
"Is Luke already here? I'm looking forward to meeting this guy you've changed your persona for." She snorted and pulled up to the front of the club.
"I didn't change anything for him. Me changing just drew his crooked ass in like a moth to the flame." I got out of the car and ran my hands down the front of my black cocktail dress. I'd gone for business sexy instead of all out sexy. Grabbing Caden's attention and showing him what he was missing was only one of my objectives for the night. The other was to actually impress some of the people in Luke's office just in case I decided there was some way I could still take the position with him.
From a career standpoint, it was just smart, a great new step. From an emotional standpoint, I was fucking myself hard without lubrication. It was ugly.
"You look incredible." Dana moved up beside me and slipped her arm into mine. "You just stick beside me and I'll get you liquored up enough to relax."
"Please do." I smiled at my pretty dark-haired friend. The dark hues of her skin mixed with her warm brown eyes left me smiling. Caden would probably be quite surprised to see she'd grown up from the wiry little tomboy she'd been when we were kids to the beautiful girl she was now.
Had I changed at all? Being head cheerleader of our high school and fit as a fiddle back then, it would seem that if I did, it would be for the worst.
"Stop trash talking yourself and lift your chin," Dana mumbled from beside me as we walked into the expansive club.
"What? How did you know?" I forced a laugh as I pulled my I.D. from my wallet and showed it to the bouncer at the door.
"Your chin is pointed down and your shoulders are rounded. I've known you my whole life, remember? Hello." She snorted and pointed up to the third floor. "Why is it so dark up there?"
"Sex room from what the whispers on the street say." I shrugged and pulled my arm from her grasp. The last thing I wanted to do was to let anyone think I had a weakness. Luke only knew what I wanted him to know about me, which wasn't much. Our relationship was only surface deep, which was a good thing, seeing that it was going to most likely be over soon. There was no way in hell I could keep dating him or rather marry him with the notion that Caden and I would then be tied together forever.
Fuck that.
"Oh, my. How is the most beautiful creature in the world tonight?" Luke's hand slid over my hip and pressed to my stomach as he flattened his chest to my back and leaned down to kiss my neck a few times. "Hmm... how's my girl?"
"Great." I turned and kissed him before moving back. "Luke, this is my best friend, Dana."
He smiled and offered his hand. "Dana, so nice to meet you. I was starting to think that Olivia might keep everything about her past from me, but it's nice to see that maybe I was wrong."
"I'm not the only one with secrets." I gave him a cheeky grin and brushed my hand down his chest. He had a swimmer's body, lean and strong, but not at all the type of man that could make my body ache. His brother on the other hand... Stop it.
"Get you a drink and join us over there. I want to introduce you to everyone." He kissed the tip of my nose and ran his hand over my side to squeez
e the top of my ass. "You mind if I tell them you're a new investment advisor that's considering working for us?"
"And your girlfriend? Oh, the stigma I'll have to overcome." I pushed at his chest a little.
"I quite like the idea of giving them something to talk about." He winked and glanced toward Dana. "But then again, Olivia will tell you that I'm quite the attention whore."
"Amongst other categories of a whore." I chuckled and turned toward the bar, motioning for Dana to join me.
"Damn," she mumbled. "He's insanely hot."
"You should see his brother." I sighed and stood in front of the bar top. "He's only gotten better with age."
"That's scary." She glanced over her shoulder.
"Tell me about it." Every cell in my body woke up at the thought of seeing him in person again. It had been far too long, and as scared as I was... I was equally excited.
Chapter 8
Caden
I walked into Kadia stiff and contemplating faking some rare illness that would put me out of commission for a few days. I'd gone so far as to research a few legit ones.
"Hey, brother." Luke walked up beside me and pointed to the darkened windows of the third floor of the club that loomed over the dance floor. "You know what that is?"
Forcing a chuckle, I gave him a look. "I'm overworked, not dead."
He laughed and wrapped an arm around the back of my shoulders. "All right, but no hitting on my girl tonight, but if you find one of your own, I'll cover for you if you want to take her up to the fuck tank."
I rolled my eyes and moved with him toward the bar. After ordering two shots of whiskey and a beer, I turned to face him. "Where is this Olivia chick from?"
"I don't know. I'd say California by the looks of her." He glanced around and took a sip of his beer. "She's going to knock you off your feet. Just keep your thoughts to yourself."
"You’re my brother. I'm not going to hit on your girl." I turned and took the liquor from the bartender and nodded toward Luke. "Put it on his tab?"
The guy chuckled and nodded. "I think he's paying for just about everyone tonight."
"Yep. He's a great guy like that." I turned back to Luke. "Stop looking for her. You've been together for three years. You're acting like you just started dating."
"She makes me feel like I could dance on water, bro. She's the real deal." He brushed his fingers over his lips and turned back toward the crowd, scanning it as if nervous.
"And you still feel this intense about her after three years? Shit. Does she have a sister?" I laughed and tossed back one of the shots. I knew exactly who she was, what she had and didn't have. And I knew the feeling of wanting to dance on water because of her. It was every day of my life before that fucked up night our senior year. The night that changed... everything.
"We've been off and on for three years. She's a tough bitch and doesn't put up with much." He licked his lips and turned back to me. "Sister? No, but her friend Dana's visiting from Texas. She's a cute little Hispanic thing. Hot would be a better word to use. I'd tap that ass."
Dana Young. That wasn't a name that I'd heard in six years. Her brother Kevin was the running back our senior year when I played quarterback. Great football player, excellent family. No denying it now.
"That shot for me?" Luke reached for the other shot of whiskey, but I popped his hand back.
"No. It's for me. I need to figure out how to relax a little." I tossed it back, grimaced and took a quick swig of my beer. Two shots and a couple of beers, and I could see the ghost of Christmas past and not give a shit. The burn of the liquor was already starting to calm my nerves a little.
Where I was scared to death of coming face to face with the only woman I could imagine in my life, I wanted to see her. To touch her. To make love to her for hours. Days. Years.
Shit. I needed to go. Now.
"You all right? You look pale as fuck." My brother popped me in the gut as I locked eyes with Jeremy.
"Yeah. Get the fuck out of here and go greet everyone. You know I hate doing that crap." I pushed at him and downed half my beer as I turned to Jeremy. "I gotta get the fuck out of here dude."
"What?" Jeremy had been a close friend to me since my freshman year at NYU. We'd played ball together too, and where he respected my brother for his business savvy, he was my closest friend in and outside of work.
"I gotta go." I ran my fingers through my hair and glanced around, paranoid as fuck.
"What's going on with you?" He gripped my shoulders and forced me to look at him.
"That girl you mentioned earlier. Olivia?"
"Yeah, what about her? You worried about Luke cheating on her?" He snorted and released me. "You're too good of a guy, dude. It's not you-"
"Shut the fuck up, Jer." I glanced around again. "You remember the girl I told you about our freshman year. The one I dated all through my childhood. The only one I... I..."
"The one you're still in love with? Which I think is ridiculous but-"
"That's her." I turned back to him and pursed my lips.
He jerked around and scanned the room before looking back at me. "Where? She's fucking here? In New York?"
I grabbed the front of his shirt as my stomach rose in my chest. "No, Jer. The girl that's dating my brother is my girl. My girl from back home. He's with my Olivia."
"No fucking way, dude." Jeremy paled as well.
I had to laugh as there was nothing else to do. "Right?"
"You're kidding me, right? I mean, what are the fucking odds of that happening? No way. You're just drunk and making shit up." He moved up beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders as I locked into place.
"Shit." The air in my lungs left in a violent burst as my eyes ran across the long line of her back, over the curve of her ass to her legs. "There she is. I know that body like the back of my hand. Fuck."
"Dude, just chill out. She dicked you over, so if you are right, which there is no way in hell you are, then you're going to show her that she doesn't mean anything." He moved back in front of me and popped me in the face softly. "Hey. Wake up. You're the man. Okay? She missed the boat. Got it?"
"Got it." I moved to my left to watch my brother move her around the floor. They were laughing at something together and my heart broke in my chest. It should’ve been me. That smile. That laugh. Those arms. They were mine to covet.
"Hey. You're not pulling it together."
"I gotta see her." I handed him my beer and swallowed the torrent of emotion that was blistering the inside of my chest and leaving my knees weak. "Please tell me this is the woman that you keep blabbering over, Luke."
My brother stopped and pulled her to his side as a smile lifted his lips. "Olivia. This is my little brother, Caden. Bro, my girl, Olivia."
Everything stopped. Time stood still as my eyes moved across her face, taking in the subtle changes that moved her from being the prettiest girl I'd ever seen to the most beautiful woman in the room. Her high cheekbones and full lips beckoned my fingers to brush across them, but it was her eyes. The fear in them matched mine. She knew who I was, and if I was a betting man, she knew before she showed up that night that Luke was my brother and not some random guy. Now the only question was really how long she'd known.
"Nice to meet you, Olivia." I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles as I breathed in deeply. She smelled like home like love and lust wrapped up in the goodness of memories I'd tried to forget and couldn’t kill no matter how fucking hard I tried.
"You as well." Her voice was sexy, southern and yet filled with confidence. "Your brother tells me that you're the brawn behind this little mom and pop shop you guys are running."
I released her hand and laughed before glancing over at Luke. "Go man the door and I'll spin your pretty woman around the dance floor."
"I'm good." She shook her head 'no'. "I need to get a drink anyway."
"Don't deny me a dance. Not on our first interview for your position." I smiled and took her hand, pu
lling her away from Luke and pulling her tightly against the front of me.
"Keep the wolves away for me," Luke called over his shoulder as he walked off the floor.
"Let me go." She pulled back, but I held on tightly.
"Hell no. Did you know that Luke was my brother?" I brushed my hand down her side and gripped the soft curve of her hip as my cock grew thick and hard just being so close to her. She was every wet dream I'd had since I was a boy.
"Hell no," she barked back as her eyes narrowed. "I'm not taking the job. How the fuck we not only ended up in the same city but possibly working for the same firm is a sick joke."
"You're telling me." I spun her again and studied her expressions. I didn't want to blink and miss a moment with her, even if it was tense and every part of me wanted to run for cover from the emotional fall-out I'd experience in my bed later that night.
"I'm done dancing, Caden. I don't care how this happened. I'm not interested in even a working relationship with you. You're a ghost from my past, and I'd rather your brother not know anything about us." She shrugged and glanced over toward the bar as if looking for someone.
"Why doesn't he know that you're from Texas? Why lie to him about where you came from, Olivia?"
"Stop saying my name like we still know each other. We don’t." She tightened her grip on my hand as her jaw locked.
"Fuck me," I mumbled and released her hand to reach up and grip the side of her face. "How many nights have I laid awake wondering where you were, and you were right here. Right under my nose."
"Don't do this. I'm not that girl anymore. You made sure of that." She pushed against my chest. "Luke doesn't know where I'm from because he never asked. We're lovers, Caden."
"Don't remind me, please. You're better than him."
"You don't know shit." She cupped her hand over mine, turned and brushed her lips by my palm, leaving me an inferno for more of her. "Don't talk to me again tonight. I'm not taking the job."
"Of course you're not. You're just a cute little cheerleader from the country trying to play with the big boys." I pulled my hand back and shrugged. "Nice to see you again. Take care of my brother, whatever he is to you."
My Last First Kiss: A Single Father Secret Baby Novel Page 82