by Selena Scott
“The woman, the owl shifter, she told us the Emperor’s family was killed before the blaze.”
An image blazed across her mind. Griff exploding out the back of the house two weeks ago. She’d watched him as a fox. Watched as he fell to the ground. She’d seen him pound the ground in an emotion so tumultuous he hadn’t been able to walk away. He’d shifted away as a hawk.
That had… been for her?
“The Emperor has many families,” she said with no small amount of bite in her tone. “And I’d heard that, too. That he was dead now.”
“You’re alive.” He gripped her by the shoulders and pressed his forehead to hers. Those navy blue eyes of his, soft as they were, just about tore her in two.
He moved to kiss her and self-preservation finally kicked in. This way led to her losing her mortal mind. Herta wasn’t safe for her. Earth was where she needed to figure out her new life. And getting all lost in Griff again was not the ticket here.
No. Not when his feelings for her would only ever be a response to her healing gift. Just like everyone else. Even now, with his palms on her shoulders, she could feel the last dregs of Griff’s grief dissolving into the air. She was happy she could do that for him. She valued that aspect of her gift greatly. But those burning-love-run-away-with-me eyes that he was giving her? She could live without those. Well, maybe she couldn’t. And that was the whole problem.
She pressed back from him. They weren’t touching now but his eyes finally fell from her face and, okay, what had she ever done to deserve this? Because the man she’d loved for the last eight years was looking at her like he wanted to lick her into oblivion. And she couldn’t trust it. His feelings or that look.
She put another few inches of distance between them and pulled half her hair in front to give her a little cover. Good thing she had a lot of hair, because Alayna had a lot of body. She’d been a cute little teen, athletic and slightly boyish. She’d kept the athleticism and shot the boyishness to hell. She had curves. Serious ones. And honestly, she’d never given the changes in her body considerable thought until she saw the light in Griff’s eyes, the navy burn in his older, more refined face.
“Hi, again,” a voice came from the shore. Alayna turned and saw Kain, the shifter she’d healed two weeks ago.
“Hi,” she tried to say but her words were immediately muffled by cloth over her face. Her arms were tugged through armholes and then two hands were dragging her up to standing. In a matter of seconds, she was wearing Griff’s shirt, surrounded in his sweaty-good scent and he was shirtless. Dangerous combo.
She stepped out of the creek, trying to ignore the firm hand on the small of her back.
“We didn’t get the chance to formally meet,” the extremely handsome man said to her, holding out his hand. “I’m Kain.”
She hesitated for just a second before shaking his hand. She always did before touching someone skin to skin. But then she gave his hand a quick shake. “Alayna.”
“Hell yes!” Kain threw one hand in the air. “I was really hoping you’d say that.”
Her eyes shot to another man who filed up beside them, eyeing her with what wasn’t suspicion, but perhaps its wary cousin.
“John Alec,” he introduced himself. He didn’t hold a hand out.
Alayna’s jaw dropped open. “The Warrior?”
“Oh,” John Alec shifted a little bit and his arms dropped their defensive stance across his chest. “Yes.”
“Good God, I never thought I’d meet you,” she said as she took a step toward him. And then found she couldn’t go another step. Griff gripped the back of the T-shirt and yanked her back toward him.
She looked back at Griff and he seemed to be scowling slightly, but when his eyes came back to her face they softened, turning that harsh-handsome face younger.
“Maybe we should go back home,” Kain said, looking between all the faces and rocking on his heels. He thought the men might be a little out of their depth on this one, Griff included. They needed the women.
“My house,” Griff said, landing a heavy paw on Alayna’s hip.
A panic filled her. Griff’s house? With all Griff’s things and Griff’s sweaty-good scent all over everything?
Dead in the water.
As if he could read her face, Kain cut in. “How about we go where she’s been staying? The guesthouse at Ansel and Ruby’s?”
“Yes,” she nodded and held her hand out to Kain to help her the rest of the way out of the creek. The handsome man’s touch didn’t do a damn thing for her. But it was a relief–sort of–to get a break from Griff’s warm hand.
She told herself, not once, not twice, but three times in a row that this was for the best. And then she turned and didn’t look back at Griff the whole walk home.
***
Inka Keto didn’t understand what the hell was going on. Her spidey senses–and they were good–told her there was a hell of a lot of love in this room right now. But everything besides her spidey senses were telling her that there was a fair amount of… other stuff in the room.
This woman, Alayna the fox, sat on the couch of Ansel’s house in a white T-shirt that Inka was fairly sure was Griff’s, and a pair of red sweatpants that were about eight inches too short. Inka had money on the fact that they were Ruby’s, who wasn’t particularly altitudinally gifted.
Griff sat next to Alayna, pressed fully against her side, crowding her into the arm of the couch. Inka was pretty surprised, because she’d never seen Griff crowd anyone in his whole ever-breathing life. He kept to himself mostly. And certainly never imposed on any woman.
Inka was well aware that this was Alayna. THE Alayna. The woman had basically come back from the dead. So maybe it was right with the world that she was crowded into the arm of a couch. And maybe not.
Inka had her eyes on Alayna’s face when she marched up to Griff. “Hold this for me, will you?” she asked him, handing baby Mateo, swaddle and all, right into Griff’s arms.
“Uh. Yeah. Of course.” Griff took the baby and immediately stood, swaying back and forth. Inka took his seat.
Alayna glanced to the side. “I’m Alayna.”
“I know. I definitely know that,” Inka replied, holding out her hand. “I’m Inka.”
“You’re… her twin?” Alayna asked, finding fierce and perfect Milla in the crowd next to the fireplace.
“Yeah. And married to that one.” Inka pointed to an extremely tall man with tan skin and dark hair. Alayna wasn’t sure what it was about him, but she liked him right away. He just seemed friendly and smart and handsome. The kind of guy you wouldn’t mind going for a walk in the woods with. “And the mother to that one and that one. Mateo and Carmen.”
Next Inka pointed to the baby in Griff’s arms and then the black-haired almost-toddler in Kain’s arms across the room.
“So,” Inka turned to Alayna. “You seem like you don’t wanna be here. Can I help you?”
Inka’s eyes searched Alayna’s just as Alayna’s searched hers. “Um.”
“Look, if you don’t know the answer right now, that’s okay. I just want you to know that I’m around. And I’m out here for you.”
With that, Inka rose up and almost instantly another woman took her place. It was a woman with humongous eyes and light brown hair in a braid down her side. “I’m Valentina.”
Alayna’s eyes grew. “The Warrior? You’re more famous than your brother!”
Across the room many men snickered and one man scowled.
“Yes, that’s very true,” Valentina deadpanned much to Kain’s delight. And then she lowered her voice, so only Alayna could hear. “Are you alright? I can recognize the signs of a woman running from something. Trust me. I was there about five seconds ago.”
Alayna lowered her eyes, for just a moment, before they snapped back up. “This is just a lot to take in. I’ve been on my own pretty much since Griff left Herta. And… there’s some things he doesn’t know.”
“Okay,” Valentina nodded. “If
you’re not ready for this whole big group situation, everyone will understand. Just slip out the back.”
Alayna nodded, waited for the right moment, and then did just that.
Griff was hot on her heels, handing his nephew off to Ansel. Ruby rushed forward and grabbed Griff’s arm.
“I think you should give her a little space.”
“Yeah. I literally cannot do that. My body will not let me.”
Ruby sighed. “Fine. Then at least bring her this.”
She ducked into the kitchen and brought out a plate filled with chicken, potatoes, and salad. She shoved it into his hands.
Griff was turning away again when Ruby grabbed his arm. “Tell her she’s welcome here, for as long as she wants. The guesthouse is hers. Okay?”
He nodded and then was out the door like a shot. She was already stepping into the guesthouse and Griff only had enough time to get his foot in the door.
She glared at him as he slid into the small kitchen area right after her. “I see your manners haven’t improved.”
She was looking at him in that way that just crumbled him. Like she was queen of the world, with all that strawberry gold hair. Her square face and high cheekbones had always given her a kind of architectural beauty. One that didn’t depend on lighting or what color she was wearing. She was just… built pretty. But it was those eyes that wrecked him. Dark brown so dark he got lost in them. But with her heavy lids, she was always taking them away.
“At least I brought food.” He slid the plate across the counter then rooted through some drawers to find two forks. He set up one bar stool and then another.
His equilibrium was starting to come back a little. The lead blanket of grief for her had left him so fast he’d felt tossed into the air. In the absence of grief, he hadn’t been able to feel anything but elation. But now, as his body regulated a bit, he was starting to understand that there was a lot more going on here than he’d originally realized. He quickly traced back through his mind to her reaction at seeing him, at the way she’d been over at the house.
Reserved, pulled back, quiet. Not Alayna at all. Those things were all the opposite of Alayna. Thoughts crashed into him from all sides. He wanted, needed, all the answers immediately. But instead he just slid onto the stool and kicked hers out a few inches so she’d know to sit.
She did, her eyes on the food and not on him. They ate from the same plate until most of the food was gone. Griff rose up and opened the half fridge. He pulled out two cans of lime seltzer, popped them both and handed one to her.
Exactly what he was hoping to happen happened. She took a tentative sip and snuffled, coughing and laughing that gusty-loud-hot-windy laugh that he’d been dreaming about. Her eyes sparkled as she held up the can and studied it. There she was. There was his Alayna.
“What Earth nonsense is this drink?”
“Called seltzer. Lime flavor.”
“Lime?” she cocked her head to one side.
“It’s a fruit from the south. You’d like it. It’s kind of your spirit animal.”
She furrowed her brow at him. “Somehow I only think that’s a partial compliment.”
He grinned at her. “You’ll understand what I mean when you taste one someday.”
She shrugged, sipped at the drink again and chuckled to herself when the bubbles went up her nose.
“You don’t seem happy to see me.”
His words stilled her heart.
“And you’re a shifter. A fox shifter. And I never knew,” he continued. “And of all the times I’ve pictured seeing you again I never thought that you’d barely be able to look at me.”
Her eyes immediately went to his, hot with temper, just the way he’d hoped. “A lot has changed since we saw one another last, Griff.”
His name on her lips warmed something that had gone very cold inside him. “Not everything.”
His hand slid over the counter toward hers but she whipped back, bringing both hands to her lap.
He stared at her in shock. Never in their lives had she ever refused his touch. Not once. The vacuum of it threatened to suck him right down. Never once.
“Everything is different,” she corrected him. She forced her eyes to stay on his because he was right, she was hiding from him and that wasn’t like her. The only way she was going to get out of this situation alive was to be herself, to dig deep into all the hard-won strength and determination she’d worked for since he left.
His eyes searched hers for a second and Alayna shuttered hers.
“Are you married?” He didn’t know what he would do if she was.
She scoffed. “No. Definitely not.” She glared at him. “Are you?”
He laughed at that one. “God, no.”
Griff turned away from her, staring at the opposite wall, trying to wrack his brain for answers. Everything is different, she’d said. The thought struck him like icy, deep water. He turned back to her slowly. He spoke as if something completely life-ending was just occurring to him. “You don’t love me anymore.”
She choked on her heart. Because he sat there with his dark hair short on the sides and long on the top, parted to one side. He wore a white shirt that was tight on his arms, colored tattoos crawled down both arms almost to his fingertips. His beard was full and trimmed, and his face was older, more carved, squint lines at the sides of his perfect night-blue eyes. Of course she still fucking loved him.
He must have read it on her face because he let out a long, ragged breath of relief. “Okay, that’s not it. Thank God.” He ripped the flat of his hand over the crown of his head and let out a breath. “Okay. God. Then,” he guessed, “you’re betrayed. Because I didn’t come for you.”
“No. No, that’s not it.” Because she understood. Really, she did. He’d gone away from her and her powers over him had faded. He hadn’t loved her as much when they weren’t together and hadn’t felt the need to come back for her. She understood. It hurt like venom in an open wound, but she did understand. This gift of hers had taken so much from her. She wouldn’t let it take her empathy, too.
He waited for her to say more but when she didn’t, he pushed up from his stool and prowled around the kitchen, one hand on the back of his head in that perfect Griff way. “All the times I pictured this, I never thought you wouldn’t want me.” He laughed humorlessly. “God, I guess that’s stupid. To imagine that it would be like nothing had changed.” He plunked back down on the stool. “But I did. That’s how I imagined it. That I would finally see you again. That you’d kiss me with your eyes closed. Like you always did. God.”
His eyes were closed so he didn’t see the pain cross Alayna’s face at his words as he plunked back down on his stool. What was he doing to her? How was she supposed to resist this?
And then he did the one thing that could have possibly fortified her.
He lifted his head, eyes bright and dark at once, damp with emotion. “I love you, Alayna.” He placed one of those gentle hands flat across his chest.
She nodded. Once. Twice. “No, you don’t. Trust me. You think you do. But you don’t.”
She rose and so did he, so fast his bar stool wobbled.
“I’m tired, Griff. I know you want some answers about the shifter thing. But, just, not right now.”
“That’s it? That’s just it? You tell me my feelings aren’t real and then you go to bed?”
Alayna gave him one look. It was so pained and so filled with words that for a moment he thought he had her. She’d talk to him. Explain to him whatever the hell was going on. But then the air pulsed around her and her clothes fell to the floor as she shifted into that perfect little red fox of hers.
Alright. There would be no more words tonight then.
He followed her down immediately, shifting into a fox as well. He streaked out of the collar of his shirt and couldn’t resist the temptation of rubbing faces with her. One little fox face against the other.
He expected her to pull back. As she had just moments before
. But her dark eyes fell just a bit closed and held still, even leaning in a bit.
And then she trotted away, toward the room where she’d been staying. He followed after her, but paused in the doorway. She kept going inside. Griff sighed a fox sigh and curled up on the threshold of her bedroom while she hopped up on her still-made bed. Two weeks and she’d yet to sleep in it in human form.
He thought that sleep would be close to impossible. But the fatigue of grieving for her, the intensity of the day, swamped him and he went under.
He dreamed of Alayna. Of their first night together.
“Boy!”
Griff would have lifted his head but he couldn’t. This was worse than dying. He felt hypnotized and painfully sharp at the same time. His body screamed for him to do something. But he didn’t know what it was that he was supposed to do. He was turning inside out. He remembered waking up in the forest and searching for Ruby. But he was alone. And then there was blackness.
When he woke again, there were men with bones over their faces and on their chests in an intricate armor. They’d chained him into a wagon with a few other people who looked as sick as he felt. As the day dragged on, to Griff’s wild amazement, one by one the other people had transformed into animals. A cow, a goat, and one coltish horse. But nothing had happened to Griff. Darkness again. When he woke again, there was another man in his face. Silvery and evil looking.
“Welcome home, boy,” the man had said to him. “I’m your new master.”
And then this cold room. With stone floors and an iron gate to keep him in. He hadn’t had anything to eat or drink in what felt like days. And the air here, it was like he couldn’t breathe it. It was too thick, made him want to sleep and explode at once.
“Boy!” The whisper-yell came again.
All Griff could do was groan. A shadow passed over his eyes and then a cool hand was on his forehead. Griff gasped at how good it felt, like the most soothing balm he could have ever imagined. His eyes snapped open as he felt like he could really draw breath for the first time in days.
“Here,” a voice said, husky and girlish at the same time. And then cool water touched his lips. That cool hand landed on his shoulder and helped him roll off his side. He held the cup of water in both hands and leaned over it to drink like he was praying at the altar of something holy.