by Selena Scott
“My life is very lonely.” Alayna shrugged, as if it were a matter of fact, and it damn near broke Ruby’s heart.
Ruby leaned up and wrapped Alayna up in a hug but she was very careful not to touch her skin. Alayna immediately noticed and pulled back.
“You’re not touching my skin.”
Ruby nodded. “I would never want you to think that I only wanted to show you affection so that I could, you know, get a little jolt from your gift. That’s not me.”
All Alayna could do was nod and watch the little redheaded woman walk away. Something about Griff and Ruby Sayers. Really damn lovable.
***
After Ruby and Ansel left, Griff moved to the bar. He hated bars. They were depressing and lonely. There’d been times when Kain would make him go and Griff supposed he didn’t mind the dancing, but the girls talking to him had always made him supremely uncomfortable. He was a good-looking guy. So it happened fairly often.
He must have been getting better at deflecting, though, because he sent that Shauna chick running for the hills about 2.5 seconds after she sat on the barstool next to him.
“No,” he’d shaken his head at her, his face closed.
She’d shot him a dirty look and stalked away. Even if he didn’t have Alayna he never would have kicked it with Shauna. That girl could talk a blue streak about herself. And besides, he was pretty sure Kain had been with her a few times before he was with Valentina. Yet another reason to keep it in his pants in Green Mills. Kain Keto used to get around.
“You’re a lucky man,” the bartender said as he switched out Griff’s beer for a fresh one that he hadn’t even wanted.
“Why’s that?”
“To get a girl like that.” He nodded his head toward where Alayna was dropping off a round of drinks. To her credit, she only spilled about an inch out of each one. She wore another all-black outfit, the Eagle’s dress code for waitresses, but tonight she’d added some sparkly jewelry that had made Griff smile when he first saw it. The girl really did like her sparkles.
“Who says she’s my girl?” Griff asked, wanting to know if Kain had spread the word last night.
“She did.”
The bartender slid down to the other side of the bar to take a drink order and left Griff staring at nothing. He swiveled and watched Alayna work, something hot and strong brewing in his chest. Thank God it was almost quitting time. He was about to burst.
He stayed and helped flip chairs onto tables while the bartender cleaned out the bar for the night. He stayed while Alayna settled the register and carefully folded her tips for the night into a very sparkly purse. And he stayed while the busboy swept up.
But that was about all he could handle. Alayna disappeared down the back hallway and Griff was hot on her heels. He slid into the back storeroom on the same door swing that she did.
“Did you tell him you were my girl?”
She turned, that rude eyebrow already raised. “I thought we settled this earlier. That we still were unless we broke up.”
“No, I told you that, like an asshole. Because I want you all to myself. But we didn’t settle on it.”
She blinked at him. “Oh.”
“But if you’re telling people, then it means that you don’t mind the idea. Is that right?”
She kept her mouth shut and he paced away from her.
“You’re not sure,” he guessed, reading her expression. “Alright.” He rolled his neck, from one side to the other, swinging his arms like a fighter about to take the ring. “Alright. I can work with that.”
He stalked over to the door and flipped the lock, keeping anyone from walking in. Alayna’s brow furrowed.
“I’m not sure exactly what you think is about to—”
“Put your hands on the wall,” he growled in her ear.
Maybe it was muscle memory from a different time, or maybe it was just because she wanted to so damn badly, but she immediately obeyed. Griff’s teeth grazed her shoulder through her shirt and she shivered.
“Keep your hands there,” he warned her. Because we’re not touching skin to skin and starting this fucking probationary period all over again, alright!”
She nodded.
“Good. Now spread your legs, baby.”
She didn’t do it right away. But then, she’d always been a stubborn little thing. It took his hands on her hips, and his lips kissing a path down her spine for her to step her legs apart.
“Good girl,” he muttered into the gloriousness of her ass in those pants. He was very thrilled to discover that the material was not very thick. He was about to do ungodly things to these pants. He bit her ass cheek. Because he was a man confronted with the most perfect, juiciest piece of fruit he’d ever seen. Also he hadn’t had sex in eight years. So. Yeah.
His fingers dug into her hips, careful to stay over the clothes as he buried his face in her lushness. And then there was no more going slowly. Griff ducked around to the front of her and their gazes slashed across one another. God, he’d missed seeing her like this, her red mouth slack, her dark eyes dark and getting darker, that hooded gaze demolishing him.
He couldn’t help but rub his face into her stomach. Her soft stomach that was absolutely destroying him.
He might have lasted longer if he hadn’t scented her. But there she was with that seashore wildflower fanciness that she came by–God–naturally and he hadn’t scented it in eight years and he was just gone. Never to return.
His mouth closed over the juncture between her thighs and she immediately went up to her toes. He heard the scrape of her fingernails over the wall behind them, felt the tremble in her legs. He sucked and nibbled at her, wetting her through the fabric and her wetting him right back. He growled, low and deep in his chest, when she hooked one of her legs around his neck. The move was so Alayna, partially dominant, partially a surrender. He couldn’t get enough of her sharpness, her sweetness. He couldn’t do everything he wanted to do through the pants, but it was enough. After eight years, it was enough for both of them. Alayna held in pants and groans as best as she possibly could, but he could feel her breath cascading over him as he dragged his tongue along the seam of her pants, drew circles, used his nose, his chin, his entire life force.
His hands gripped her thighs as he held her in place, held her still. When she came, she didn’t bloom or flower. No, she arrowed, gripped the hair at his head and yanked, her entire body stiff and tight and straining. Almost like she was fighting, still fighting against it all.
When the grips left her, she swayed away from him, stumbling back on her tall heels. He rose and slid his hands in his pockets as she eyed him like he was a wild beast. He sort of felt like a wild beast, his pulse pounding, and every animalistic desire he’d ever known just screaming to be let off the leash.
“For the record,” he harshed out, “I really want to hug you right now. And kiss you.”
Still she stared at him. So he walked up to her. Fuck space. Their relationship was nothing but space of one kind or another and he was over it.
“I want to run my thumb over your ear,” he told her. “And then put my nose here and here.” He gestured at the bottom of her chin and then to her armpit. “Because I love the way you smell. And then I just want to hold you tight against my chest.”
She knew what he was doing, seducing her and comforting her at the same time. And she both hated it and deeply appreciated it. She was raw and pulsing. Her head was in a hundred places already, even as the fog over her body refused to lift.
“Oh, Jesus,” she growled in a very irritated voice that she only half felt. “I can’t go out there like this.”
His eyes fell to her pants and he stripped off his long white T and handed it over to her.
“I’m not sure you being shirtless is any better.”
“There’s no one here. We’ll go out the back. That’s where my car is parked anyways.”
“Milla said she’d give me a ride home when I called her.”
“My car is already
here. I’m already here. Let Milla sleep and let me take you home.”
Alayna wanted to argue more. Just because. Arguing was the only steady ground she knew. Especially as she pulled Griff’s shirt over herself and was swamped in all his sweaty-good scent. But he’d admitted to being an asshole just a few minutes ago and it gave her license to admit that about herself right now. In her own head at least.
She nodded and followed him out to his car. He opened the passenger side door and it was all so Griff in there. His scent, every inch spic-and-span, just like his hair and beard and nails. There was no debris floating around on the floor, like in Kain’s car, no construction equipment like in Ansel’s. It was completely, perfectly empty.
“You look like you’re ready to make a quick getaway,” she noted, looking around with a furrowed brow.
“Oh, you mean the lack of stuff? Yeah. I hate stuff.” He grinned at her sideways. “Just another thing we absolutely do not have in common.”
She grunted.
“Speaking of, actually, I bought you something. It’s there.” He nodded toward the glove compartment.
Alayna flipped it open, curious and extremely excited. She gasped out loud and Griff grinned. For the first time since she’d come back into his life he was entirely certain that he’d done something exactly right.
“Oh my God, it’s beautiful,” she breathed over the brand new iPhone. “I wanted one so badly.”
“There’s more in the bag.”
“Ah!” she gasped and he grinned even harder. “A case! With jewels on it!”
“They’re plastic,” he warned her, trying to temper expectations.
“I don’t care. They’re gorgeous. You’ll have to show me how to use it.”
“Alright. It’s already all set up and everything. You have a phone number and all.”
“A phone number,” she repeated reverently.
He watched her out of the corner of his eye as he drove. She turned the phone over in her hand, picked up the instructions out of the box, stroked over the words with one careful finger.
“You’re really serious about this Earth thing, aren’t you? I mean, Earth definitely suits you. Way better than it does John Alec or Valentina. But yeah, you mean to stay.” He was just realizing it. That she’d well and truly fled Herta. As a shifter, he totally understood. That place was hell.
Her face shuttered down immediately and she carefully wrapped the phone back up. “Yes. I’m staying here. And my life will be simple.”
He did his best not to flinch. He couldn’t help but feel that was an accusation.
“I could make your life simple for you. With you.”
She scoffed. “Nothing between you and me is simple, Griff, and you know it. Besides, your life here isn’t simple either. You’ve got this huge, complicated family, all of whom are trying desperately to free Hertian shifters, always traveling back and forth and battling. You yourself help acclimate the ones who are brought back to Earth. I’d never be free of it if I stayed here. Never. You can’t offer me the life I want.”
His knuckles were white on the steering wheel. “This doesn’t have to be my life.”
Her face swung around and he could feel the heat off her dark eyes. “Oh, for God’s sake—”
“No. Listen. You think I keep my car like this because I’m a neat freak? You should see my house. There’s barely anything in it. I never got comfortable again after Herta. Because I never felt like I lived here. I can be ready to leave in half an hour. At any time.”
“Your sister...”
“Would understand. If the roles were reversed and she had to be ready for Ansel, she would absolutely do this as well. And it’s not like I’d be abandoning her. If we were still on Earth, I’d call and visit and Skype and email and all that crap.”
“But you didn’t know I’d come to Earth. So what have you been ready for?”
“To go back to Herta. The second I could. The very first second. If I could get back in, I never would have come back to Earth.”
“What do you mean? Why couldn’t you get back in?”
Her voice was shaking. And her voice never shook.
He glanced over at her and her eyes were cemented onto the tattoo on his forearm. He wondered if she was putting the pieces together.
“I can’t even get two feet into Herta before I’m down. I lost my tolerance for it or something. It knocks me out. Sometimes for days. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve tried to get to you? And just, fucking, couldn’t?” He ripped a hand over top of his hair and didn’t look at her. “You think I don’t know that’s why you’re doubting me? It’s because I wasn’t able to come back for you. You wouldn’t have thought it was about the whole gift thing if I’d just been able to fucking come back for you.”
His hand clenched around the steering wheel and she stared at the flex in his forearm, in his tattoo. Her eyes didn’t leave it. She’d been staunchly ignoring it for weeks at this point. But suddenly, she had to know.
“When did you get that tattoo?”
He glanced over at her, and though her voice was demanding, her eyes were soft and so vulnerable.
“About four years ago.”
He watched her do the math. Watched her realize that he’d been longing for her long after her supposed gift would have worn off. That he’d wanted her badly enough that he’d gotten an entire arm covered in stylized waves of hair spilling down all the way to the wrist. Just so he could look down and see the way it was when she was lying next to him and he was buried in her hair. The way he’d liked so much.
To her horror, tears sprang to her eyes as they pulled up in front of Ansel’s house.
“Oh. Baby, don’t cry.” He reached for her and paused midair.
She hated him for it. For all of it. She just needed him to make this easy on her and either touch her and prove her right, or leave her the hell alone and prove her right. But this halfway sticking around, proving his love thing? It was not going to work for her. In fact, it was going to tear her in two.
“I’m not your baby.” She slammed out the door and was gone into the night.
CHAPTER SIX
“Alright, then, just a few more…” Matt trailed off yet again as he fixed another wire to Alayna’s arm and adjusted his glasses as he watched a screen.
She’d pretty much accepted the fact that he wasn’t even really talking to her. She liked him, though. He was sweet and smart and was one of the only ones who wasn’t throwing himself headlong into Herta. Thank God.
“Does Inka go? Into Herta?”
“What? Oh. She has a few times. But that was before we started having children. There’s too much to risk at this point.” He sat back in his chair and stared at nothing. “I wonder if Ansel will still…”
“What’s that?”
Matt jumped. “Oh, nothing. A theory I’ve been working on. See, now,” he pointed toward the screen of his computer, “this is really interesting. Look at where your lines are. And now look here at where Griff’s were the last time I checked him. They’re perfect reciprocals.”
“What’s that mean?”
Matt looked up at her harsh, semi-rude tone. He wondered if he was treading where he shouldn’t be. “Nothing. Just an observation.”
It was more than an observation. He thought he might have just solved exactly why Griff was able to last a year on Herta with Alayna by his side and not a damn minute without her.
He scribbled a few thoughts down in his notebook and toggled with a few more buttons on the equipment that was attached to her arm. “Thank you, by the way, for taking the time to do this.”
“You said all the other shifters usually let you, so…” she shrugged.
“Right. I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind if I did some tests on your gift.”
“Oh. Why?”
“Because it’s remarkable. I’ve never seen anything like it and if it can be reproduced in any way, it might save lives on Herta.”
She groaned
and pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes. “Why do you people care so much about Herta? It’s a horrible place.”
“My family goes to Herta. That’s why I care. My wife and children are shifters. That’s why I care. If there is anything, anything I can do to make them safer, I’m doing it. No questions. No hesitation. I’m doing it. Even if it, ah, means I have to be rude in the process and stick my nose where it doesn’t belong.”
She deflated. Of course she didn’t understand the drive to protect, to save, to fight. Because she didn’t understand what it meant to have a family. “Alright. But—but not today. I need a little time.”
“Of course!” He looked way too happy and eager.
It brought a small smile to her lips.
“Matt?”
He looked up from his notebook.
“Did he ever talk about me?”
Matt’s eyes blinked. “No,” he told her honestly. “But sometimes I think that says even more.”
***
-I want to see it.
Griff blinked at the text from Alayna he’d just gotten. It was seven o’clock in the morning a few days since he’d last seen her. He’d been giving her space and fucking hating every minute of it. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and tried like hell to understand the text she’d just sent him. For half a wild second he thought she might be requesting a dick pic.
Nah. No way. He was sure she didn’t even know what a dick pic was. He frowned. She better not know what a dick pic was.
-See what?
There was long pause and Griff rolled out of bed, brushed his teeth and slugged back some coffee to keep himself sane while he waited. And then finally, finally, his phone buzzed again. He pounced.
-What it’s like when you go back into Herta.
Hope and dread bloomed in his chest all at once. If she really wanted to see it then maybe she was coming around. Starting to believe that he really hadn’t been able to come to her as opposed to being unwilling or uncaring. But dread was there, too, because he hated going into Herta. It basically destroyed him. It was like sandpaper scrubbing his brain raw and more often than not, he wound up passed the hell out. Not exactly the awesome, brave, and manly way he might have liked for Alayna to see him. But whatever worked.