One Forever Kiss (Affair Without End Book 4)

by Susan Ward

  “Oh, Jesus, you’ve saved my life again,” I growled, flattening her against my damp wetsuit and crashing my mouth onto hers.

  “Gnarly waves?” she teased between the play of her lips.

  I pulled back, holding her in a heated gaze. “No. Gnarly Jack. You’ve been on the road forever, baby.”

  She scrunched up her face. “Three months. Total nightmare or I would have hopped to you sooner.”

  I did a playful bite on her neck, then kissed. “I hope you’re ready to hop.”

  She laughed, a deep husky purr. “Oh yeah, definitely. How long will it take you to strip out of that thing?”

  We went straight into my bedroom through the yard doors. We had a deliciously perfect ritual: fast fuck, hours in bed holding each other to catch up on each other’s lives, followed by leisurely lovemaking and then the gentle easing into our life together for a few days, weeks, or whatever.

  I set her on the bed, and between kisses and touches I fought to pull off the too-snug neoprene which had grown painfully tight in my groin area.

  “You got your diaphragm in? I’m not waiting.”

  Her eyes roamed me in a seductive glide as she took her case from her purse, removed her pants then panties, and prepped and inserted all while continuing to heat up my body.

  She paused to remove her blouse and shoved off my wetsuit, kicking it aside.

  “Fuck, Jack, did you take a blue pill?” Linda teased after her head appeared from pulling off her shirt to find me standing fully ready for her.

  I ignored her playful jab over my age and covered her body with mine. “No blue pill. Blue balls.”

  Her head tilted back on the pillow as she laughed harder. “God, you are a crazy man, and you definitely have the worst sex lines with a woman ever. Was that supposed to get me hot?”

  “Nope, just me in you fast.” I moaned and plunged deeply within her. Her arms and legs wrapped around me as I pulled out slowly and sank myself into the delicious feel of her.

  I shuddered, stilled, and brought my mouth back to hers. She arched her neck so I could kiss my way down how she liked it.

  Another slow, torturing move.

  She gasped and brought her hips up to mine, digging her heels into my ass in silent urging to go fast and rough in her.

  I eased out until only my tip was in her as I ran my tongue around a nipple. Her nails dug into my shoulders.

  “If you don’t do it hard—” She moaned as I sucked on a rosy tip, rolling it with my tongue. “If you make me wait”—I buried myself as deeply as I could into her—“I may hurt you. Linda is very ready for Jack. No play. I can’t take it.”

  I thrust into her then stopped, propping myself on my elbows to look down at her flushed face. “Then take me how you want, Linda.”

  With graceful ease, she flipped us on the bed until I was under her and she was riding. I lay back, watching her plunge over and over on me, the sway of her head, the parted lips, the heat rolling off her flesh, drinking in the sight of her unbridled and demanding and loving.

  She brought her breast to my mouth and my arm went around her waist, clutching her tighter to my starving body.

  Her hips were grinding savagely.

  My cock swelled and throbbed.

  “Oh, Jack, watch what you do to me,” she whispered, and as she let go in her loud, throaty screams I couldn’t take another second without coming inside her.

  “Oh fuck, Linda,” I growled, as her body continued to fuel my climax.

  Even after coming it didn’t feel like enough.

  I wasn’t ready to pull my body from hers.

  She collapsed on my chest, her hands running my arms tenderly.

  She peeked up at me. “What a pitiful pair we are.”

  I laughed. “Hell no. Just two people hot for each other and not getting enough.” I kissed her forehead. “How long are you staying this time?”

  Her cheek moved as a caress against my flesh. “Dunno. Does it matter?”

  I eased her off me and into my arms. “No. Doesn’t matter.”

  We lay silently together for a while, then she lifted her face, eyes widening. “You’ve changed the bedroom. I like it.”

  I brushed her short curls from her face. “Just painted. Nothing major.”

  The major thing happened after that disastrous trek to New York to drag Chrissie back home from Alan, when my daughter had made me put away Lena’s things here. It was when Linda starting staying with me in Santa Barbara. It was also the year Chrissie went off to Berkeley. I’m sure both events had something to do with Linda feeling more comfortable about us existing here.

  We definitely existed more regularly when schedules allowed since Chrissie got married last year to Neil Stanton, the hot new thing in the music industry, and was living on the mountain above me—the name Maris worked because my daughter had no intention of ever leaving Santa Barbara—and expecting their first baby.

  There was change all around us.

  Jesus Christ, in less than four months I’d be a grandfather—that made me grin—and I was carrying on like a teenage boy, burning and heavy with Linda still.

  I studied her beautiful face tucked into my side. Even the faint lines around her mouth and at the edges of her eyes were gorgeous on her. She was finally old enough for me—thirty-five—stunning, exciting, interesting, fully self-possessed…and not sagging. She still had a fucking body that wouldn’t quit.

  I fought back my laughter then decided I had to hide it with a smile or I’d get shit for that last thought if she demanded I tell her what I’d been thinking.

  “I want to do something with this house. I don’t know what. Why don’t you decide for me?”

  She settled back comfortably against me. “I like it how it is. It’s like coming home every time I get here. Why change it?”

  Home—I liked that thought from her.

  “Then we’ll keep it as it is. OK, news. Do you want to go first or do you want me to?”

  She studied me for a moment, gnawing on her lip. “Aha. Something tells me you should go first. You have that Jack worried and thinking about something expression.”

  Damn.

  “I’ve got a little problem right up your alley. Chrissie’s mother-in-law is throwing a baby shower and that manager of Neil’s, Ernie Levine, is trying to turn it into a publicity op for the label.”

  She crinkled her nose. “Oh yuck.”

  “You know how Chrissie gets about being around a lot of people and the press thing. She shouldn’t be stressed out, and I’m worried things are getting out of hand.”

  “Call Neil. Tell him to stop it. He’s her husband. He should fix this.”

  “You’d think. So far nothing. I thought you could work that magic you do and take over managing this.”

  She groaned and hid her face. “I haven’t even been invited, Jack. Don’t you think it will come off random me just barging in and taking over everything?”

  I shrugged. “Probably, but think about it, sweetheart. I want this nice for Chrissie.”

  She gave me the Chrissie, Chrissie, Chrissie look and then exhaled loudly.

  “You worry too much,” she chided. “Everything is marvelous in your daughter’s life. She has it all. Beautiful house. Beautiful husband. Soon, no doubt, beautiful baby. When are you going to stop worrying about your girl? Chrissie doesn’t need you rushing to fix her mess anymore. She doesn’t have any mess. She’s doing great.”

  I lifted her chin. “I’ll never stop worrying. That’s how it works, Linda. Parenthood is a life sentence.”

  She laughed, but it was sort of a snort. “You don’t make it sound appealing.”

  “I love my daughter, but I wouldn’t do it again for anything in the world.”

  Her face clouded over. “Really? That bad.”

  “Not bad. Just work. I’m ready to work less and love my woman more.”

  I felt a prick of unease when she didn’t laugh, and put her face back against me so I couldn’t see
her expression.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I’m just trying to figure out how to crash a baby shower, hijack it, and then fix it without letting your daughter know why I’m doing it.” She moved out of my arms. “I’m going to hop in the shower. Take a quick one. I’ve been traveling all day.”

  I stopped her with my hand. “Nothing wrong, huh? Not buying it, Linda. Why are you upset?”

  “I’m not.”

  She shrugged, disappeared into the bathroom, took a fast shower, and came back wrapped in a towel.

  I could tell by her expression she had something she wanted to discuss. She sank down on the bed facing me. “I’ve been kind of thinking, as I’m off the road for a year, maybe I’d hang around here for a few months or so and try to make a baby with you the old-fashioned way since that fucking adoption lawyer has had me on a list forever.”

  I sat up, shaking my head. “We’ve talked about this, Linda.”

  “Well, I want to talk about it again, Jack. I’m thirty-five and running out of time here. Even if you were cool with me fucking Len, which I know you’re not, Len’s no use to me in that department. Damn man got cut. I want to have a child of my own. You’re the man I love. Why can’t you understand that?”

  “I do understand it, Linda. I just can’t go through it again. Haven’t I fucked up enough kids already?”

  “You’re a wonderful father,” she said in a rush when I paused to take a breath. “I couldn’t ask for better.”

  Fuck, she wasn’t letting up on it this time.

  “Are you asking me to donate to the cause or will you finally divorce Len and move in here?”

  Her gaze locked on me like a laser.

  “I would if that’s what it took to get you to stop being stubborn about this.”

  “This turning thirty-five and the baby thing is making you completely irrational. My question was rhetorical. We both know the true answer. You wouldn’t walk out on your life, you’ve worked too hard to get where you are, and I don’t expect you to give up the things you’ve earned for me. You like your life how it is. In the fast lane, moving fast. I don’t do that. Those days are behind me. Nothing would change between us, we both know that—and stop puffing up for a fight, because I’m good with how we are—and I don’t want another child, definitely not a part-time child out there since I’m confident you’re going to stay part time with me, too. Nope, can’t do it.”

  “Great,” she said, her features tightening. “Len is no use. You’re no use. And I have an adoption lawyer who’s no use as well. Promise me just to think about it, Jack.”

  The way she stared at me made my gut twist because she wanted something from me she could never get.

  I sighed heavily, pulled her resisting body into my arms, and kissed her shiny black curls. “There’s no point in arguing about this, sweetheart. I really am no use to you, Linda, and even if I wanted to I couldn’t change that. It’s why I told you the list was your best option.”

  Her face snapped up in surprise. “What are you talking about?”

  Fuck.

  “In fifteen years of marriage, Lena and I spent most of it trying to have a baby and the only one we had is Chrissie. I’m pretty sure I was the problem.”

  “Maybe you’re not,” she countered fiercely. “We haven’t even tried.”

  “No point trying, Linda. Stay on the adoption list. My swimmers don’t swim well.”

  “We can try,” she repeated.

  Fuck. “Fine. Try, and if you get pregnant we’ll figure out then what changes we should make about us.”

  She threw her arms around me and kissed me hungrily on the mouth. I felt like a shit, because I’d told her what she wanted to hear to get out of the argument, figuring there was no risk in letting her because I knew it wasn’t going to happen.

  “I’m excited,” she announced. “When’s Chrissie’s baby shower?”

  She was glowing and had that take-charge manner of hers head to toe. Well, I was getting something out of this. Maybe relenting wasn’t a bad thing.

  “Last week of November.”

  She pulled me down on the bed with her. “I took out my diaphragm when I showered and I want to get right at it. Make love to me again, and then I’ll go fix Ernie Levine.”

  As I suspected, getting right at it—fucking wonderful, because the woman in bed was happy and that was an incredible thing—didn’t change anything and never would.

  Three months she stayed.

  Three periods.

  And right when I was thinking the closest Linda would get to a baby was Chrissie’s shower—definitely an insensitive move to have asked her to organize that—the adoption attorney called.

  A month later, the Rowans adopted Bobby.

  It bothered me, her creating a family with Len, but our life was good and we went on. Linda had everything she thought she needed and I had enough.

  I was the man Linda loved.

  That was enough for me.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  There are no random moments in life. The second we forget that, we become careless. Every moment overlaps the one before and the ones yet to come, part of who we are forever, because life is like a woman.

  It’s the big moments of our life we remember, but it’s the small moments soon forgotten that often become the most significant.

  But then, when the road is smooth and good, it is human nature to relax and enjoy living.

  Linda and I certainly were after twenty-five years. She was still married. We were still an affair. Chrissie’s second affair with Alan Manzone, five years this run, was in the past and she was now on her second husband—the Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, Jesse Harris—second child, and second house on the mountain above me.

  The years had woven my life with Linda’s into something as interconnected as the closest of families. We had shared friends, shared experiences, shared memories, and one particular unforeseen shared moment.

  The maxim before a storm there is calm is true.

  We had lived for ten years in delicious calm. I was sixty-three, loving life, still madly in love with my life partner, and I didn’t doubt Linda loved me the same way.

  As I sprinted out into the driveway to open her car door, how her eyes lit up the second she saw me was all the confirmation I needed that everything was as good between us as I believed it was.

  I took her in my arms for a kiss. “How’s my favorite girl?”

  She laughed. “You’re the only one who still calls me that, Jack.”

  I reached into the backseat for her bag. “You’ll always be a girl to me.” I frowned, lifting her bag to test its weight. “What’s up with this? One bag. Hardly packed. I thought you were staying longer.”

  She arched a brow. “Thank you very little. I know you think I overpack for everything, but I’m traveling light these days.”

  I touched my lips to her nose. “Not buying it. Light bag, short stay.”

  Inside the house, I took her carry to the bedroom then returned to the kitchen to find her staring out the wall of glass.

  I went to a cabinet for a glass and reached for one of the bottles she’d left here. “Do you want some wine? Friday commute from LA is always rotten.”

  She shook her head. “No wine. Drive wasn’t bad. I’m late because I got a late start.”

  I put away the glass, set back the bottle, and tried to read her mood. No wine? Definitely tense demeanor. Jackie boy had done something to get himself into trouble again.

  The phone rang, which would have annoyed me, except I wasn’t getting a good vibe from Linda and I didn’t want to push her.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Daddy. I thought I’d bring the girls down, let them play at your beach so we can visit for a while.”

  “Nope, can’t do that. I’m busy.”

  “Doing what?” she asked annoyed.

  “Things.”

  Chrissie made an aggravated growl. “Things? I found out about you a
nd Linda a long time ago, so can we stop pretending you’re not involved? It doesn’t bother me. Why does everyone think everything will upset Chrissie? I like Linda. Why does it bother you to be open about this with me?”

  “It doesn’t, Chrissie. I just don’t want you here ruining my game.”

  A startled, embarrassed laugh. “Well, that was kind of inappropriate, Jack. Jeez, if Linda’s heard, you’ll be lucky if it doesn’t piss her off.”

  I shifted my gaze to Linda—yep, she was chewing on something not good. “Baby girl, I really have to go. No beach. Not today. Kiss Kaley and Krystal for Grandpa and go bug your husband instead.”

  I clicked off the phone, tossed it on the counter, and held back on my side of the kitchen. Linda’s posture said unapproachable.

  I raked a hand through my hair as I tried to figure out my next move. “OK, do you want to talk, go for a walk, or go to bed?”

  No answer.

  I hadn’t a clue what I’d done, but I’d done something.

  Linda wasn’t reactive or sullen or unreasonable.

  Not ever.

  Straight shooter and blunt every moment of her life.

  I sighed. “It doesn’t look like you want to do any of those. So why don’t you tell me what’s going on with you?”

  “Let’s go for a walk. Can we just go walk on the beach for a while?”

  Not my first choice, since how she was acting was starting to alarm me. Beach meant serious discussion about to unfold.

  “Is everything OK?” I asked her cautiously.

  She made one of her Linda smart-ass expressions. “Depends on how you look at it.”

  “Doesn’t sound promising. Maybe you should have had the wine,” I teased, wanting to get a feel for how serious this was.

  She laughed halfheartedly, and then passed through the patio door I opened for her. We crossed the lawn and made our way down to the sand. It was just before sunset, her favorite time at the ocean.

  We walked hand in hand along the shoreline for a while, her silent and me waiting for her to tell me whatever I’d done wrong.

  She slipped her hand from mine, stopped at the edge of the surf, and bluntly said, “Jack, I’m pregnant.”