by Minkman, Jen
“I’m going to the restroom,” she announced abruptly, pushing her way through the O’Malley’s crowd without looking back. She kept gazing ahead, just to make sure she wouldn’t catch a certain someone’s eye while passing the games corner.
When Julia emerged from the restroom, Gaby was waiting for her at the door. “I’m sorry I brought him up,” she apologized, sounding contrite. “Axel explained to me you already talked to Michael and how he made you kind of nervous.”
“Well, nervous…” She shrugged.
“And no surprise there. I mean, seriously, what is he doing here? Shouldn’t he be in bed with some kind of IV drip in his arm? He looks like nothing happened to him. Good call, by the way, turning him down for that game of darts. The bastard.”
“Yeah, I thought it was best to avoid him.” Julia felt her face turn hot. Not because Gaby had paid her a compliment, but because she was lying through her teeth. She didn’t want to avoid Michael. She wanted to know what was up with him, what had changed him, but at the same time, her inner voice of reason agreed whole-heartedly with Gaby.
Frowning, she followed Gaby and rejoined their group. When Michael left the pub with his friends about ten minutes later, he gave her a look over his shoulder and caught her eye, smiling warmly at her. Julia bit her lip and looked away without smiling back.
“Well done,” Gaby mumbled next to her. “Ignore him. He did the same thing to you.”
“So, are we going to Shamrock next time?” Julia asked. That way, she’d at least be able to avoid encountering Michael with all her friends around.
Florian nodded vigorously. “Good idea – I’m telling you, that place is good for our love lives. I bet you’ll meet someone to play white knight to your damsel there too, Jules.”
Gaby nudged her. “Maybe you should invite Thorsten along,” she suggested, waggling her eyebrows.
“Who’s Thorsten?” the rest of the group asked in unison.
Julia rolled her eyes. “Gee, thanks,” she grumbled.
Gaby shot her a wide smile. “You’re quite welcome. It’s time for the winds of change, sweetheart.”
5.
The next morning, Julia woke up to the sound of swooping music coming through the thin wall of her bedroom. Apparently, Anne was watching her Lord of the Rings DVDs for the umpteenth time at maximum volume.
She yawned, reaching out for her cell phone on the nightstand to look at the time. Half past eight. Way too early to be woken up on a vacation day. Her little sister was risking her life.
Still half-spinning with sleep, Julia got up and dragged herself outside to pound on the door of Anne’s bedroom.
“Hey!” she shouted. “Can the hobbits tone it down a bit? Some people are trying to sleep in, you know.”
She heard Anne clattering through the room. The door swung open, showing her little sister sporting the most lovable smile imaginable. “Will you watch with me?” she asked, her eyes radiant. “I got us milk and cookies downstairs.”
Julia bit back a smile. “Why not. I’m awake anyway.” She wanted to sound grumpy, but found she couldn’t. She used to be the one waking up before anyone else, waiting downstairs for her sister with milk and cookies so they could watch cartoons. When their father had still been around. The fact that Anne wanted to do the same thing for her made her choke up a little.
Julia sat down on the bed and watched Anne pour her a glass of milk. She accepted the glass and the plate of cookies, scooting to the left so Anne could sit down next to her. Her sister had hit pause on the DVD. Legolas was frozen on-screen, squinting his eyes to peer at the horizon and make one of his elven Captain Obvious remarks.
“Jules,” Anne mumbled next to her around a bite of cookie. “You think the prince of the trees could also have long, blond hair?”
Julia’s eyes swerved from the handsome Legolas on TV to Anne’s questioning eyes. “Sure. It’s a fairytale, and you spin those yourself. If your prince has long, blond hair, the story adapts.” She poked Anne in the side. “That’s the fun thing about dreaming.”
“Isn’t it better when a dream really comes true?” Anne asked timidly.
Julia fell silent, worrying her lip. She didn’t know what to say to that.
“Sometimes, I dream Daddy comes back to live with us again,” Anne continued even more quietly, picking at the hem of her PJs.
Julia swallowed down a little lump. “Honey, it’s better if he doesn’t come back.” She stroked Anne’s dark-blonde hair. “Mommy is way happier without him. They were fighting all the time.”
“Mommy is angry with him,” Anne whispered. “Because he never comes round to visit the two of us anymore. I heard her talking to Grandma.”
Julia pulled Anne into a hug. “She’ll let go of her anger one day. She’ll understand we don’t need him anymore. She is raising us, and we love her the most.”
The ghost of a smile flitted across Anne’s face. “That’s what Gran told her too.”
Julia chuckled. “Isn’t Gran a smart woman.”
Anne sat up and gave the elf on TV a pondering look. “Still, I think fairytales can come true. You think the prince could also have blue eyes?”
Julia frowned at her sister’s thoughtful expression. Suddenly it dawned on her. Could it be her little sister was secretly in love with Thorsten, the new, handsome neighbor with his bright, blue eyes?
“Yes, he definitely can,” she played along. “Long, blond hair and blue eyes. It’s your fairytale, and you hold the illustration rights.” She winked.
Anne nodded, looking pleased. “The prince will never reveal his true name,” she stated pedantically. “He remains a mystery to the adults around him, because they can’t see him for what he truly is.”
Julia smiled. “Maybe you should write a book,” she suggested. Realizing she was actually serious about the idea, she continued: “Really. You should. You’ve got talent. You have such a wonderful way of expressing yourself, Anne.”
She hugged her sister again, her hug turning into a tickle of death until Anne begged for mercy screaming and kicking. By the time their mom woke up an hour later and went downstairs to make breakfast for all of them, Julia felt a lot more energetic than she had in a long time.
“I’m going for a run to Gran’s,” she announced at the breakfast table, stuffing a large bite of omelet in her mouth. “Do you want me to bring her anything?”
“No, you don’t need to. I’m dropping by as well tonight,” Ms. Gunther replied. “I’m working the afternoon shift, so I’ll visit her afterwards and cook for her. You know, a bit of mother-daughter time. I hope you can fix dinner for yourself and Anne?” Julia’s mother worked as a store manager at the supermarket in Eichet.
“Sure. I’ll think of something.” Julia gave Anne a conspiratorial wink meaning ‘pizza and ice-cream!’. Her sister shot her a huge, goofy smile.
“Can I go on a play date with Sabine this afternoon, Mommy?” Anne asked.
“Of course. In fact, you’ll have to stay at Sabine’s. Someone has to mind you, right? I arranged things with her mom.”
After breakfast, Julia went on her way. It was a nice, sunny day, but strong winds were also stirring up the forest. She was shivering in the cold breeze when she decided to take a break after ten minutes, crouching down next to her oak and wiping the sheen of sweat off her brow. It wasn’t just the cold that made her shiver – something felt different about the woods. The leaves above her head whispered restlessly, yet there was a certain stillness in the forest that she couldn’t explain. It was almost as though the forest was holding its breath, waiting for something.
Julia leaned her head against the gigantic tree trunk, listening to the blood rushing in her ears. “Hello, Mister Oak,” she said quietly, putting her hands on the roots underneath her feet.
Nothing happened. The eerie silence was now all around her as the tree leaves stopped rustling. The oak didn’t answer her.
Julia couldn’t help rolling her eyes at herself all of
a sudden. Why was she being so ridiculous? Hadn’t she decided to say goodbye to the fairytales she’d surrounded herself with in order to keep reality out? And here she was, thinking she could communicate with a tree. It was clear she was a nutcase.
With a grimace on her face Julia got up again. The woods weren’t bringing her the peace she’d hoped for. This morning’s energy buzz had dissipated.
She sprinted away, still feeling confused. Up till now, she had always managed to slow down and take her mind off things in this place, but today was different. The woods felt different, or maybe it was she who was different. She didn’t know.
Out of breath, she arrived at her grandma’s house. The old woman was in the front yard, cutting the hedge and whistling a tune. She waved at her granddaughter and walked over to meet Julia at the gate.
“You’re panting,” she noticed. “Out of practice?”
“I’m not,” Julia puffed indignantly. “Nothing wrong with my endurance. I just … pushed myself a little too hard. I was trying to run off some stress.” She plunked down on the bench outside and took off her backpack.
“So did you manage to outrun your own ghosts?” Her grandmother put down the hedge trimmers and went inside to get something to drink, leaving Julia to ponder the answer to that question by herself for a minute.
“A ghost has returned,” she admitted, when Gran sat down next to her with two glasses of water. She gulped down her drink eagerly.
“That one boy,” Gran said without a question mark in her voice.
Julia didn’t reply.
“Your mother told me you saved a classmate of yours in the woods,” Gran continued. “Is that the Michael?”
“Yes and no,” Julia blurted out without thinking. Her grandmother looked at her curiously. “Yes, it was Michael Kolbe in the forest, and no, he is no longer the Michael.” The more she said it, she more she felt it was the truth,
“Why do you think that?” Gran asked calmly. If she was surprised, she didn’t show it.
Julia sighed deeply. “I can’t explain, but I can sense it. I know it. He’s changed because of that accident. And yet, I know I should be careful. Gaby’s been on my case the whole time. She thinks I should stay away from him, and frankly I can’t do anything but agree with her.”
“Just let it flow,” Gran said softly. “Stay away from him, but let him come to you if he really wants to. How do they say it these days? Your neighborhood, your rules.”
Julia snorted. “Gran, just stop. I don’t even know what the rules are. Believe me, I want to be all strong and independent, but for this guy, I’m willing to bend the rules so much they look like a pretzel. And it’s pissing me off. I don’t want him to have this effect on me anymore.”
“He can only have that effect on you if you want him to,” the old woman said unperturbed. Julia was close to gritting her teeth out of frustration because Gran was right. She did want him to. She still did.
“So… I’m going to hit the shower,” she said in the ensuing silence.
She got up and slogged upstairs. As the warm water pelted down on her head, she thought about her grandmother’s words. Of course Gran was right – she had to let things flow and follow her own heart. Common sense told her she should steer clear of Michael, but her heart’s desire won over logic and reason. Something was up with him, and she intended to find out what it was.
After she got back downstairs, Julia played some songs on the piano while her grandmother was cleaning the kitchen. After that, they each got a pair of hedge trimmers and attacked the shrubs in the back yard. At two o’clock sharp, they set out to the supermarket. Julia was saddled with the task of rolling the ‘old-ladies’-cart’ down the sidewalk – that’s what her grandma had nicknamed the old-fashioned tartan-patterned trolley bag she used for groceries.
“What time will your mother be coming?” Gran inquired.
“No idea. After work, she said.”
“I’ll ask go and ask her.” The old woman walked to the back of the store, where a red door gave access to the storage area and the back office.
Julia stopped at some crates of tangerines, scanning the selection of fruit and vegetables for fresh mangoes. Absent-mindedly, she picked up three tangerines from the crate in front of her, staring at them indecisively. She didn’t really want tangerines, but it looked like the mangoes were sold out.
A modest cough startled her from her musings. “Can I help you with anything?” a familiar-sounding voice asked.
Julia looked up, straight into Thorsten’s blue eyes. He was standing next to her in a supermarket uniform, a cheerful smile gracing his face.
“Uhm, hey,” she fumbled. “I had no idea you worked here.”
“Since yesterday. Sabine told me your mother worked here, so I thought, let’s ride her coattails and give it a shot.”
“Well, it worked,” Julia chuckled. “How are you liking it so far?”
“Just fine!” His eyes darted to the three tangerines she was still holding. “I’ve actually been observing you for quite some time. I was kind of hoping you’d start juggling with those.” He smiled playfully, and Julia started to laugh.
“Oh, and that’s what you wanted to help me with?” she asked in mock-bewilderment. “Maybe you’d better quit this job and join the circus.”
Thorsten’s face fell. “Please don’t tease me with my red nose and floppy feet. It really hurts, you know. I expected more from you.”
“No, you misunderstand. I’m not teasing you! It’s good to know your strengths, right?”
“True, true.” His gaze fell on the trolley bag. “Cute cart,” he continued with a wink. “Do you always take that to the supermarket?”
“I’m here with my grandma, okay?” Julia retorted defensively, glaring at him.
“I know.” He shot her a half-smile. “I saw the two of you come in.”
Julia bit her lip, suddenly wondering just how long Thorsten had been watching her. He turned around to pick some bruised peppers out of a vegetable crate, pausing for a moment. “So, you got any plans for the weekend?” he asked, re-arranging the cucumbers for no apparent reason. He didn’t look at her, and Julia realized he sounded a bit nervous. Her stomach gave a lurch and she swiveled around to put back her tangerine-juggling balls and hide her red cheeks from view.
“Yeah, I’m working. I’m starting at the bookstore tomorrow. Pretty cool.” All the while, she was pondering Gaby’s suggestion. She could ask Thorsten to join her and come to Shamrock tomorrow night, surely. He would fit right in with her circle of friends, but she felt a bit guilty for inviting him just to distract her from Michael. He was way too nice for that. On the other hand, what would be the harm in introducing him to new people? He had just moved here, after all.
“Have you made any friends our age in Salzburg yet?” she asked, getting her act together. Thorsten shook his head, looking at her expectantly. “Well, if you feel like it, you can come with me to the Shamrock pub tomorrow night and you can meet my friends. Hang out.”
“Of course I feel like it,” he responded enthusiastically. “Where’s Shamrock?”
As Julia told him which bus to take to get to the pub, she saw her grandmother sidling up to them from the corner of her eye. Gran was careful not to interrupt their conversation.
“Okay, see you tomorrow then,” Thorsten said after saving her number to his contacts.
“Yeah, see you! Enjoy work!” Julia waved at him as he strolled off to stock some shelves in the cereals aisle.
“Who was that?” There was Gran’s inevitable and curious question.
“Thorsten. He’s Sabine’s brother. You know, Sabine is Anne’s new best friend.”
Grandma nodded thoughtfully. “I see.” She glanced in the direction of the cereals aisle. “And what about him? Is he going to be your new best friend?”
Julia turned red. “Gee, Gran, I don’t know. I just want to figure out… I can’t just let Michael… I don’t think I’m ready for… he’s nic
e, though.” Wow, so much for coherence. She sighed in frustration.
“Well, he certainly likes you,” Gran said casually, trotting off to the checkout with her trolley bag.
“Huh? Why do you say that? Is this your sixth sense kicking in again?”
“Oh, come on now, you don’t need psychic powers to see that. His eyes tell the whole story.”
Julia didn’t reply. His eyes? She’d thought Michael’s eyes had told her a story too, but it had made her none the wiser. “Whatever.”
“Now, why so surly? It’s just an observation. Ignore it if you want.”
Julia started laughing. “I’m sorry, Gran. Forget it.”
Julia and her grandmother spent the rest of the afternoon gardening, drinking tea and playing cards.
“I’d better go home,” Julia muttered, when Gran put down a joker for the third time in one game of Mau Mau.
The old woman winked. “Ha! I sent you running for your life.”
Julia pouted in mock disappointment, then got up and went to the bathroom to change into her running clothes. She hugged her grandma in the hallway. “See you on Sunday. We’ll be round for tea.”
The breeze ruffled her hair as she jogged back at a relaxed pace. In the forest, the tree branches swept back and forth like the waves of a wild sea. Julia breathed deeply in and out. The familiar feeling of serenity had returned to the woods, as if the strange and oppressive atmosphere of early morning had been blown away by the wind that had picked up. She could sense it. Her mind was empty when she left the forest trail and cut through the brush to get to the oak tree. Maybe she’d be able to relax at ‘her’ spot this time around.
A frown appeared on Julia’s face, though, when she rounded a patch of trees and spotted a lone figure sitting with his back against the oak. Panting softly, she came to a halt, feeling a familiar knot forming in her stomach. She recognized that figure.