by Minkman, Jen
Anne shrugged. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone where I am.”
“What the heck is that supposed to mean?”
“Never mind,” her sister muttered. Anne pushed Julia aside and quickly ran down the hallway. Julia threw an angry glare after her. She couldn’t believe her ears. Of course, Sabine and Anne wanted to keep the house a secret and only show it to their families once it was completely finished, but this was nonsense. From now on, she’d make sure Anne told them exactly where she was going, or her trips to the woods would be history. Mom was always bogged down with work and didn’t keep enough of an eye on Anne anymore – her little sister could practically get away with everything. When she was little, she wouldn’t have dreamed of pulling tricks like these. Of course, Dad had still been around to share responsibility. In general, the youngest child in a family was notorious for being allowed more than the older children, but still. This didn’t sit well with her.
Heaving a heavy sigh, Julia went into the kitchen to start cooking. It was her turn tonight.
9.
The next morning, Julia arrived at the bookstore too early, but Michael had still managed to beat her – he was already waiting at the entrance.
“Good morning!” She gingerly raised her hand in greeting. Did he expect her to kiss him, or was that too soon? Would she make a complete fool of herself if she did? “Wow, you’re early today.”
Michael shrugged. “Yeah, I woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep anymore. I was restless.” He smiled at her. “You kept running through my mind.”
“Oh.” Julia smiled back shyly. “You kept running through mine, too. All evening, actually.” Lost in thought, she’d managed to burn two pans of rice while cooking before her mom had sent her away from the stove in despair.
His smile widened. “Really?”
Julia nodded. “Uh-huh. So, have you figured out what you want to do this afternoon?”
Michael shook his head. “No, not yet. I’ve just figured out what I want to do right now.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “This,” he added with a twinkle in his green eyes, pressing his lips to hers.
Julia closed her eyes and slipped her arms around his waist, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. Who cared if their colleagues caught them making out? She had longed for his touch since yesterday afternoon. “Can we go to the forest after work?” she mumbled against his lips between kisses. “I’d like that.”
Michael took a step backward. “We could,” he replied.
Julia cocked her head. He didn’t sound too eager.
He saw her puzzlement and sighed. “You know, I was looking forward to experiencing the city and the park together with you. I want to … put the accident behind me. Stay away from the woods for a while.”
“Of course!” Julia nodded in understanding. “So let’s go to the park. Shall we have a picnic there?”
“Sounds good. Let’s prepare a basket at my place. While I’m busy making our sandwiches, you can use the time to play the grand piano, because you promised you’d come and do that some day.”
“I will. As it so happens, I wrote a song yesterday, using your poem as lyrics.” Maybe she should tell Michael about Thorsten and her jam session on his lawn. Somehow, it felt like the right thing to do. Then again, it was best to leave that unexpected kiss out of her confession – there was such a thing as too much honesty. “The boy from across the street was playing his guitar in the yard and invited me to join him and contribute some lyrics. So I used your poem. Who knows, I might be able to figure out how to play it on the piano.”
Michael beamed at her. “That would be amazing. I’m happy you liked it so much.”
Just then, Martin showed up with a few rolled-up posters tucked under one arm. “Wow! Can I say early birds?” he greeted them. “Will you do me the honor of helping me by putting up the sale posters in the window?”
It didn’t take long for the rest of the team to arrive at the store. Donna sidled up to the ladder on which Julia was balancing precariously, trying to affix a banner to the parapet above the checkout counter. “Hey there, Julia,” she called up. “So what are your plans this afternoon?”
“Buzz off,” Julia squeaked. “If I look down, I’ll get vertigo.”
She heard Donna laugh out loud. “Fortunately, Michael is not afraid of heights. He’s been looking at you doing your thing up there for a while now, you know.”
In a bout of curiosity, Julia risked glancing down to see what Donna was talking about. Michael stood next to the checkout gawking up at her legs, looking caught out when she blinked and shook her head at him incredulously. Donna’s mouth twitched as she cast Michael a sidelong glance.
“Why don’t you all just leave me alone?” Julia cried out indignantly, holding the top rung of the ladder in a death grip. Despite her words, she still shot Michael a playful smile. She was going to spend the entire afternoon with this wonderful, gorgeous guy, who was in love with her and couldn’t keep his eyes off her. It suddenly dawned on her just how lucky she was. Her legs felt like rubber when he gave her a winsome smile back.
To her happiness, Martin sent her over to the stockroom again to fetch some books – a perfect opportunity to text Gaby about their plans for today, and to check whether her friend had sent her anything about last night’s date with Axel.
She had. ‘dinner was gr8! axel = kinda sweet :$ jules, whaddya think he thinks of me?!’
Julia scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. ‘u know what axel thinks of u ;) don’t ask 4 the sake of asking. mick & me r going 2 the park & will make a picnic @ his place 1st. so nervous!! x’
Of course, no one else would be at Michael’s house this afternoon, but somehow, Julia was certain this wouldn’t be a rinse-repeat of that other time in Michael’s empty house. She still couldn’t wrap her head around his bizarre personality change, but it had rocked her world.
How could she have even been in love with him before this? Maybe it hadn’t been love – maybe she had just looked up to him and admired the confidence he exuded in high school. He’d been so handsome, desirable and completely out of her league, but that was all different now. He was trying really hard to get to know her better.
She started when Silke entered the stockroom. “Time to fess up,” she announced bluntly. “What’s going on between you and Michael? Don’t think I’ve missed all those sly glances between the two of you.”
Julia felt herself redden, and she gave a shy shrug. “He asked me out again, and I said yes.”
“Well, doesn’t that bother you?” Silke crossed her arms. “I mean, it wasn’t pretty, the way he chucked you before.”
Silke couldn’t be more right, so how could she ever explain why things were different now? She didn’t even fully understand it herself.
“He’s – changed,” she hazarded. “I mean, really. He’s nothing like before.”
Silke nodded mindfully. “Yeah. I get what you mean. When he walked into the store on his first day here, he was being kind of a show-off. He didn’t fool me, though – quite frankly, I thought he was very insecure, deep down. But he’s no longer wearing the Mask of Fake Self-Confidence, if you get my drift.”
“Who knows, maybe it fell off because of the accident.” Julia smiled.
“Yeah, you might be onto something there. Have you looked up stuff about people experiencing character changes due to head trauma?”
She hadn’t, but actually, it didn’t sound unlikely. Silke had just given her the perfect explanation for Michael’s changed behavior. Philosophizing about Celts, Midsummer and lightning bolts was more her style, but a concussion causing behavioral change was much more logical.
“His doctor probably warned him about the short-term effects,” Julia dodged the question. “I’ll ask him at some point. So, shall I help you with those?” She pointed at the pile of books at Silke’s feet.
The remainder of the morning shift was uneventful. Julia stayed up in the stockroom a
nd Michael manned the checkout. When the store closed for lunch break at noon, Julia and Michael left Höllrigl and walked to Michael’s house on the Giselakai.
“The weather is lovely,” he said, looking around with a big smile on his face. “Perfect to bum around in the park.”
“Well, we could also do some light exercise,” Julia proposed. “Don’t you have badminton rackets lying around at your place?”
“I think so, yeah. You really like sports, don’t you?”
“Always gives me energy.”
“Funny. That’s what I’ve always found so charming about you. You can be quiet and introverted whenever you’re busy writing or composing, but at the same time, you can be so full of life and energy when you do sports.”
Julia felt herself lighting up like a light bulb. Michael talked about her as if she was the most fascinating person on earth. She walked closer to him and took his hand. It was only after they had crossed the bridge to his street that she wondered how he actually knew so much about her. Had he been more attentive to her at school than she’d given him credit for?
“Is there anything you absolutely hate as a sandwich topping?” Michael inquired once they were inside, dragging her to the kitchen. When he opened the fridge, Julia observed just how many different kinds of food the Kolbe family stocked. Her little family was quite simple and poor compared to this household. Would she even feel comfortable taking him home to her place and introducing him to her mother?
She absently picked up an avocado from the fruit bowl on the kitchen table. “I’m not a fussy eater. I like all kinds of food,” she mumbled.
A smile spread across his face. “Including that?” he pointed at the avocado. “How about wheat rolls with lettuce, chicken and avocado?”
She nodded slightly. When Michael walked up to her and put his arms around her, Julia rested her head on his shoulder and sighed deeply. “I just have to get used to things in your world,” she whispered. “Sorry I’m being so awkward.”
He kissed her forehead. “You’re not being awkward. And I have to get used to this situation, too.”
Julia blinked at him in confusion. “You?”
“Yes. To being in love, I mean.”
Her face turned pink with joy. He made it sound like he’d never been in love before. And for all she knew, it was true. He’d always dated some girl in high school, but he’d never been steady with any of them for long. This felt like it was more serious for him, and with all her heart she wanted to open the door to her life and let him in, even if she was insecure about certain parts of it.
“Would you like to come over to my place tomorrow?” she blurted out. “After work?”
He smiled warmly, his eyes looking fondly down at her. “Of course I would. I’m secretly hoping you’ll make me pizza.”
“Amy’s Kitchen pizza?”
“Yes, please. You know how I feel about Amy and her pizzas.”
They both started to chuckle. Julia exhaled, feeling more at ease. “Let’s get on with those rolls, shall we?” she suggested.
“No, we shall not. I will do it. You promised you’d play the piano!” Michael shoved her out of the kitchen despite Julia’s protest, escorting her to the Steinway in the corner of their gigantic living room. He opened the fall board and pulled out the bench for her. “There you go. Have fun.”
Smiling shyly, Julia sat down, letting out her breath when Michael walked back to the kitchen at once. At least he didn’t hover. It would give her the peace of mind to figure out Thorsten’s song on the piano. Humming the tune to herself, she picked her way through a few scales on the keyboard before settling on a pitch that would suit her voice.
When Michael returned to the living room after ten minutes carrying a picnic cooler filled with drinks and food, she was singing Thorsten’s melody with her – or, actually, Michael’s – lyrics. He stood next to the grand piano and gazed at her completely mesmerized.
When the song had ended, Julia looked up bashfully. “I’m happy you’re still here,” she said timidly.
Michael gave her a quizzical look. “Why wouldn’t I be here?”
“You walked away during my performance at the twin’s party.”
He looked ashamed. “I’m so sorry. I was...” He faltered, and in the silence that stretched between them, Julia remembered how intensely he’d been staring at her while she was playing her own song. How Gaby had insisted to her he’d had tears in his eyes. And all of a sudden, she couldn’t care less why Michael had changed so much. Whether it was thanks to lightning, head trauma or supernatural powers, he was a person she could genuinely fall in love with. She got up from the bench and impulsively flung her arms around him.
“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “I was happy you were listening at the beginning.”
“Of course I was listening,” he replied quietly. “That was the song you wrote yourself. For the exam.”
She gawked at him. So he had been in the school’s auditorium during her Music Ed examination. Her frayed nerves had probably made her overlook him in the audience. A warm feeling flooded her when she looked up at him. She’d always felt invisible to him, but now it turned out he had noticed her after all.
“So, shall we?” she proposed, tilting her head at the picnic cooler.
Michael put an arm around her shoulders. “Let’s go.”
They picked a spot under a big chestnut tree and spent all afternoon lying in the grass chatting, kissing, cuddling up and reading poems from Julia’s new poetry collections. Michael had packed the badminton rackets, but it was a bit too windy to play a game. Michael was the first one to throw in the towel.
“This is more strenuous than it looks!” he puffed after playing for five minutes with the wind blowing against him. “I thought this was an easy game. You know, because of the shuttlecock being so light.”
“Which is why you were the one who needed to hit it really hard,” Julia snickered. “Poor guy.” She wiped the sweat off her forehead as she sagged down against the chestnut tree, Michael following suit. The breeze touched the leaves above their heads.
“You know, the scene of your accident in the woods has always been very special to me.” She took his hand in hers. “That oak tree near the place where you slipped with your motorcycle… it used to be my refuge. I’d take shelter under the branches of that tree. Not from the rain, but from life. It was my hugging tree.”
Michael squeezed her hand. “Why the past tense?” he inquired. “Do you feel different about the place now?”
Julia gave a tiny shrug. “I think my tree is sick. The leaves look kind of yellow. And besides, I don’t really want to run off into the woods whenever I feel sad. I just…” She bit her lip and paused for a second. “I want to live a real life, and I don’t want to lose myself in all kinds of fantasies anymore.”
Michael looked at her sideways, and just for a moment, he looked wistful. “Fantasies can be a part of real life,” he objected. “They make life more beautiful, don’t they?”
Julia shook her head. “Of course they can. But that’s not what I meant.”
“So what do you mean?”
“Well, for instance, I looked at you quite differently because I was hiding away in my own daydreams.”
Michael said nothing, the curious look in his eyes urging her on.
She took a deep breath. “You know what it is? For two years, I believed I was in love with you. In my mind, I cast you as the lead in some magical fairytale. But that’s just it: it wasn’t you I was infatuated with. You were just a character in my play.” As the words tumbled out, she trembled. Was she actually telling him this? Was she brave enough to reveal her emotions like this? It would seem so. Doing this whole exposé should scare her to death, but it didn’t. In fact, it felt like the right thing to do.
“I had no idea who you were,” she concluded timidly. “And when I found out you were not the Prince Charming I imagined you to be, I blamed you for it.”
Michael
flushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I know he... I... it must have been painful for you.”
She scooted closer, her hands sliding up his chest. “It’s all right,” she whispered. Right in that moment, the last remnants of her anger and insecurity vanished. She no longer blamed him. “This whole situation is so new for me. To be completely honest, I am in love with you for the first time. You make it so easy. You’ve become gentler, and friendlier. Because of the accident. Or, I don’t know...”
She faltered. His irises were greener than ever before, his gaze filled with a zest for life that had never shown in his eyes in all the years she had known him. And all of a sudden, she was certain she wasn’t talking to Michael – she was sitting here with someone else. It wasn’t him.
But that didn’t make sense. Why was she having such strange thoughts? It was bad enough she’d more or less attributed his current, pleasant personality to an accident with near-fatal consequences. If she shared this crazy idea with him, he would probably think she was nuts.
Michael interrupted her thoughts by pulling her into his embrace, kissing her softly. “You have no idea how much your words mean to me,” he whispered against her lips.
She dazedly kissed him back. “Seriously?” she mumbled.
He nodded. “You woke me up, Julia.” He closed his eyes. “From that slumber we call death.”
The way he described it, he made it sound as though she hadn’t just saved him from an untimely death – she’d awoken him so he could become more like himself. Who would ever have guessed Michael could be so poetic about life?
“Where do you want to meet up tomorrow?” he asked, as they walked to the exit of the park just before dinner time. Julia didn’t work on Wednesdays, but Michael would be busy all day.
“Could you be at my place at six o’clock?” Julia suggested. “If you take bus five and get off at the last stop, you should give me a call so I can meet you there.”