Arlene wiped tears from her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to make you feel left out. We still did the movie thing.”
“I know,” I said. “But that’s not the same thing as hanging out every weekend. Look, I’m so so sorry about everything that’s happened. I swear on everything that is good and holy that I will never treat you like that again. You’re the only friend I ever want to have. Can we please be friends again?”
Arlene wiped her nose on the back of her hand, then wiped her hand on her jeans. A smile emerged on her tear-stained face, and for the first time since I’d told her my parents were getting a divorce, Arlene and I hugged. As we squeezed each other tight, she whispered, “Best friends.”
23
Will They Remember You When You’re Gone?
What yearbook award best describes you?
a) Most Popular—everyone knew me, I knew everyone, but my circle of friends was tight (i.e., elite).
b) Most Congenial—everyone knew me, I knew everyone, and we all loved one another.
c) Newcomer Award—even though you’ve been at this school for four years.
After all that, I wasn’t only nominated—I won.
This is what it had all come down to—this day. Being in that room full of winners, and actually being one of them, felt a little surreal. I simply couldn’t believe I was there. I’d always wondered what it was like, all those accomplished people gathered together for the yearbook photos a couple of weeks before the end of school, and now I knew. For all of Bowie eternity, I would be seen as one of those people. And I really liked that—I deserved to be proud of myself.
There were no cheese-and-cracker platters like I had imagined, no Cokes or bottled water on any tables, but the scene was still amazing. Everyone was crammed into the library, where we were photographed against the same blue backdrop they’d used for our class pictures. While I waited for my turn, I found myself hovering somewhere between the winners of the Most Versatile Award and the John Philip Sousa Award for music, feeling awkward and nervous about having to smile in front of all these people. I was waiting for them to turn to me and yell, “Just joking!” and laugh me out of the school.
“Hey, Thurman.”
Shiner stood beside me, wearing a blue blazer that was a little short in the sleeves, with a striped tie that hung too low over his belt. He stood really straight with his shoulders all squared and a pretty satisfied grin on his face.
“You look nice,” I said, looking down at his duds, and I meant it. I eyed his jeans and ratty sneakers with the blazer and tie.
He shrugged. “Only the waist up, right?”
“Good point. I got this,” I said, and I pulled on the new necklace I got from my dad when he returned from New Mexico. It was a tiny turquoise butterfly on a silver chain, and I loved it. Finally, I thought, something that lets me know that he doesn’t think I’m a kid anymore.
“That’s nice,” Shiner said of my necklace.
When Mrs. Waxman called Shiner, he stepped up to the stage with Ellen Spitz for the One to Watch Awards.
“Scoot closer, Jimmy!” Mrs. Waxman commanded. “She’s not going to bite you!”
Ellen blushed as bright as her ruffled blouse—she was Westernless, for once—and somebody called out, “She might, if you ask her nice!”
I felt so proud to see Shiner standing up there, finally being recognized. He deserved it more than anyone.
“They’d make a cute couple, wouldn’t they?”
I turned to see Jason standing beside me. He looked almost like a grown man in his dark blue suit and bright red tie. He even had polished dress shoes on. He put his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. My dad used to do that.
Jason and I hadn’t exactly become Bowie’s new power couple like I had hoped. We talked a lot at school, walked the halls together a couple of times a day, and he sometimes stopped by my locker in the mornings. My heart raced every time I heard his voice on the phone, which I did, several times a week. Everything was great . . . except we hadn’t actually gone out yet. I really liked him and wondered if I should ask him out, but I wasn’t surprised that the year was ending and we weren’t an official couple. It had all been a fantasy, anyway.
“So, well, congratulations,” he said.
“Yeah, thanks. You too.”
We silently watched as the seventh-grade Class Favorites took their places in front of the camera, the guy resting his hands on the girl’s waist.
Even though I still felt butterflies around him, I’d long since decided to stop trying too hard and to just be. “Tell me, Andersen. You’re totally jealous of my award, aren’t you? Come on, you can admit it.”
“You’re crazy,” Jason said, smiling. “It’s cool you’re here, Sara. And not just because of the award.”
I smiled and tucked my hair behind my ear.
“Let’s go!” Mrs. Waxman called. “Eighth-grade Class Favorites, step on up!”
“Smile pretty,” I said as Jason turned to take the mini-stage. I stood content as Jason and Rosemary Vickers had their Class Favorite pictures taken, just like they deserved.
I shouldn’t have been surprised when the yearbooks came out and I saw my picture. My left eye was half-closed, and it barely looked like I was smiling.
“I told that photographer guy I wasn’t ready yet,” I said to Arlene, Ellen, and Kirstie, cringing at my image forever emblazoned in Bowie’s pages.
“It’s still pretty cool,” Ellen said.
Beneath my picture read:
“Courage is grace under pressure.”
—Ernest Hemingway (1899–1961)
Courage Award
Sara Thurman
I was really proud of my award. Like most things that had happened this semester, I totally didn’t see it coming. When I didn’t get nominated for Class Favorite, I realized I wasn’t the least bit bummed. The whole thing had been superficial and immature. The Courage Award, on the other hand, made me realize that people saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself. Somehow, I had become—or maybe had always been—someone who took things in stride. That’s a good thing, because life moves and changes pretty fast sometimes, and even though I can’t control that, I know I can control how I react to it.
As for Kirstie—yeah, I did forgive her. And even though what she did to me was horrible, and she should have been the one to come to me, I decided to go to her. After all the avoiding I had done with Arlene, I decided that, if I thought the friendship was worth it, I should make the first move. And I believed Kirstie was worth it.
“I just want you to know,” I told her before science class the week after Jason’s party, “that I get why you did it. You did a horrible thing—the meanest thing anyone has ever done to me—but I understand.”
Kirstie looked beaten and tired. Her black hair was dull, and her green eyes didn’t seem so bright. “What do you mean? What I did was inexcusable—”
“It was,” I insisted. “But I understand the desperation you felt. It’s like how desperate I was to make people like me. Or did you forget about the list of Class Favorite qualities I used to carry around with me?”
She smiled. “I didn’t forget. Look, I’m not proud of what I did.”
“I’m not proud of what I did either. But I know you’re sorry, and I want you to know that you have a real friend in me. You don’t have to force our friendship. It was always there.”
Kind of like my courage, I had thought, hidden beneath all my insecurities.
As Arlene, Ellen, Kirstie, and I stood huddled around our yearbooks, someone called out my name. We all turned in unison to see Jason approaching us.
“Hey,” I said, a smile spreading across my face.
“Look,” Jason began, his eyes glued to the floor. “I was wondering . . .”
Thankfully, Arlene, Ellen, and Kirstie stepped off to the side, but they didn’t go far. I knew they were straining to hear every word.
“I was wondering,” he said again. “I’ve
got a kite competition coming up. It’s this Saturday afternoon, and I thought we could go get a pizza or something after. It’s not a big deal—I probably won’t even place.” He hooked his backpack up on his shoulder, looking nervously around him. “Anyway, I was just wondering if you wanted to go? With me. If you want. I mean, it’ll be no big deal.”
I looked at Arlene, who was eyeing me. This Saturday was our Razzie night, and Jason just had to pick this weekend to finally ask me out. Just my luck.
“That sounds awesome,” I said, “but the thing is . . .” I had this knotted mess in the pit of my stomach, even though I knew what I wanted to say. “Well, the thing is, I kinda already have plans.” I spoke quickly to keep him planted beside me. “Is there another competition coming up? Or maybe we could just go one afternoon. I could do it if it were any other Saturday. Really. I mean it, Jason.”
He looked back at me, and I smiled.
“I’ll hold you to it,” he said. “The old-timers at the VFW are dying to meet you.”
“Dying—don’t say that!” I said. But what I was really thinking was, He’s been talking about me!
Jason laughed and said, “You’re so crazy,” which made me beam.
After he walked away, Arlene punched me in the arm and shrieked, “Are you crazy?! What were you thinking? Why would you turn him down?”
“Because,” I said, enjoying the sight of her mouth gaping open, and still a little shaky myself, “the only place I want to be Saturday night is with all my friends, watching one Razzie movie and one Oscar winner. It’s gonna be great.”
As we pushed through the front doors of the school, my stomach finally settled down. I thought of Jason and the date I knew we’d have and of Saturday night with Arlene, finally having our cherished little ritual again with the added bonus of having new recruits Ellen and Kirstie. I also knew that, for me, there was lots more to come. All I had to do was relax and act normal.
Like myself.
Which Yearbook Award Will YOU Receive? Take This Quiz to Find Out!
Chapter 1
Does Your Crush Know You Exist?
You’re walking—okay, drooling—along behind your crush when he unknowingly drops a pen from his backpack. You hurry to pick it up; when you give it to him, he says:
a) nothing, just accepts the pen and keeps walking.
b) “Thanks,” and smiles at you before moving on.
c) “Thanks. How’d you do on that geometry quiz last week?”
Chapter 2
Are You the Keeper of Secrets or the Disher of Gossip?
You’ve stepped out of your sociology class to go to the bathroom. On the way back, you hear Angie Slater whispering into her cell phone, saying, “I can’t believe Joann got suspended for plagiarism.” You:
a) discreetly walk away, but decide to tell only your best friend, and only after making her swear not to tell another single living soul.
b) tell no one, since the news doesn’t even affect you.
c) shuffle away quickly, heart racing with excitement. When you get back to class, you tell what’s-her-name across the aisle what you just heard.
Chapter 3
Can You Turn Your Sibling Spats into Something Special?
True or False: When it comes to sharing clothes, your sister knows that what’s yours is hers, and vice versa.
Chapter 4
Are You Open to New Friendships?
A new girl arrives in your civics class and asks you if she can sit with you at lunch. You:
a) ask her what type of clique she hung out in at her last school so you can fairly decide if she’s a fit for your clique.
b) tell her of course she can sit with you, and you’ll meet her at her locker and escort her to the cafeteria just to make sure she doesn’t get lost.
c) tell her, “No habla English.” Why is that stranger talking to you?!
Chapter 5
Do You Stand Out from the Crowd, or Blend In with the Scenery?
At the spring dance, you decide to be bold and try out some new dance moves. What happens?
a) A circle forms around you, some people laughing, some cheering you on, but soon, everyone is mimicking your stellar moves.
b) A few people around you ask if you’re having an epileptic fit.
c) The dance goes on just the same.
Chapter 6
Do You Know Who You Can Trust?
You really need to talk to your best friend about the latest development in the on-going saga of your love life, but she’s not at school today. Instead, there’s Veronica, a relatively new girl you’ve become friendly with. What do you do?
a) Tell her your problem, automatically assuming that she’ll keep the information mum.
b) Tell her your problem, but make her swear on her cat’s life that she won’t tell a soul.
c) Wait and call your best friend when you get home—you’d rather not take the risk.
Chapter 7
Do You Have What It Takes to Be the Coolest Kid in Class?
Which word best describes your attitude toward popularity?
a) superficial
b) (my) reality
c) unachievable
Chapter 8
Can You Exude Beauty in an Ugly Situation?
You’re strutting through the food court wearing your killer new cream-colored pants, when a five-year-old menace comes racing through the aisles, smearing your pants with ketchup and mustard. How do you react?
a) By screaming at the kid for ruining your clothes and telling his mother she’s an unfit parent
b) By “accidentally” tripping the kid on the way back to his table
c) By laughing it off, saying that your dull pants now look like a Jackson Pollock painting
Chapter 9
Are You Overly Emotional?
The guy you’ve been crushing on just said your new haircut is “really interesting.” How do you react?
a) By faking cramps and going home to cry in bed for the next two days. You knew you looked like a freak!
b) You tell him, “Thank you,” and agree that the new style is interesting and unique.
c) By demanding to know exactly what he means by “interesting”? Is he insulting you?!
Chapter 10
Are Your Parents Totally Unfair or
Are You Totally Unreasonable?
Just as you’re heading out the door to meet Mara and Eileen at the movies, your mother stops you and says you have to do the dishes before you leave. How do you react?
a) By refusing to do them until you get home—even if it means groundation
b) By asking your mother if you could please do them as soon as you get home
c) By doing them right away, even though that means missing the previews—your favorite part of any movie
Chapter 11
Find Your Inner Flirt
You’re finally ready to—subtly—let Lucas know you think he’s totally hot. While you’re both in the lunch line, you:
a) wink at him, smile, and walk away.
b) briefly make eye contact before grabbing a Snapple and bolting to your table.
c) get behind him in line, tell him you like his jeans, and ask him, with a hint of coy, why the two of you haven’t hooked up yet.
Chapter 12
What Your Spring Style Says About You
On the first warm day of spring, you’re most likely to be seen wearing:
a) the same black clothes you wore during winter, except maybe your shirt is short sleeved instead of long sleeved
b) jeans, sneakers, and a comfortable tee—something that will allow you to pop into an impromptu soccer game if need be
c) the most adorable spaghetti-strapped sundress, even though it’s still a little chilly out
Chapter 13
Can You Tell a Friend from a Foe?
You lost a note from your friend, Casey, which had some very private information on it regarding her—gulp!—“female freshness” problem. To make mat
ters worse, most of the football team found out. She said she forgives you; now, you need to confide in her about the problems your parents are having. Is there a chance she’ll turn on you, just to get even?
a) Slight chance—I’d be leery of telling her anything too big, too soon.
b) No chance, no way, no how.
c) Big chance—I can’t ever tell her another secret as long as I live.
Chapter 14
Does He Like You . . . Like That?
Testing the waters, you tell your friend and heart’s desire, Stefan, that the new guy in history is totally cute. He:
a) scoffs and says, “You can do better!”
b) nods and says, “Yeah, he’s like the female version of that smokin’ Brazilian babe in our homeroom.”
c) doesn’t even look up, just mumbles, “Whatever.”
Chapter 15
What’s Your Rep?
You just won an award for Most Conscientious Recycler in your town. How does your school respond?
a) By surprising you with a full-page ad in the local paper congratulating you
b) Only your two closest friends know, because they’re the only ones you told.
c) Your school doesn’t respond, but at least your parents are proud of you.
Chapter 16
Be Honest:
Do You Love, Like, or Hate Gossip?
You have just been told that your economics teacher, Mr. Russo, has been performing in a play downtown. What do you do?
a) You e-mail the entire school directory with the news, including the when/where/cost of the play, and try to rally everyone to go see him—it’ll be a huge laugh!
b) Tell your closest friends, giggle about it, but wonder if it’s true.
c) Shrug off the information—there’s nothing to back up its truth, and besides, even if it is true, he’s still an awesome teacher.
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