Happy New Year--Baby!

by Marie Ferrarella

  She felt like an idiot, but fear was hard to shake off once it got a good hold. “I know this is stupid…”

  “But?”

  The words rushed out. “But I saw this movie once where this man’s car was wired with a bomb…” Her voice trailed off as she bit her lower lip.

  He wished he had been here instead of Winston during the break-in. Cover or no cover, he would have found a way to stop them. “Standish just wanted to scare you, Nicole. If he thinks you have something that belongs to him, he’s not going to kill you. That would be self-defeating. Standish isn’t dumb.”

  She nodded, trying hard to hang on to what he was telling her. “Makes sense.”

  He turned her around to face him. “If you’re afraid, we can always take my car.”

  No, he was right. She couldn’t succumb to fear. Nicole shook her head. “I’m just seeing ghosts where there aren’t any.” She smiled at him. “Thanks for being so logical.” Standing on her toes, she kissed him lightly, then took a step back. The moment seemed to freeze in time.

  His eyes on hers, Dennis threaded his fingers through her hair. Lowering his head, he kissed her again. Kissed her with feeling. The dog barked sharply, obviously feeling left out and wanting attention. He ignored Romeo. Ignored everything except the dizzying effect she was having on him.

  Damn, but a man could get used to being knocked senseless like this.

  His lips worked over hers slowly, savoring every movement, every sensation. She tasted faintly of raspberry jam and desire.

  Nicole wound her arms around his neck. This was crazy, she shouldn’t be letting this happen. And yet she couldn’t not let it happen. It felt like the one ray of sunshine in a world that was filled with rain.

  The dog barked louder and nosed them apart. She laughed, slipping her arms from his neck. “I think he’s jealous.”

  “I could ask Moira for another dog,” he suggested half seriously.

  Nicole shook her head. “Just as well. That wasn’t a very logical thing to do.”

  Logic certainly had nothing to do with what he was feeling right now. “Why?”

  “Well for starters, I’m pregnant and there’s a really nasty character out to get me.”

  He worded it very carefully. “They’re out to get something they think you have, not you. And besides, complications are what make life more interesting.” Not that he needed any, he reminded himself.

  She didn’t have time to discuss this with him. If she didn’t leave now, she was going to be late for her appointment.

  Nicole hurried out. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Count on it.” He remained in the doorway, watching until he couldn’t see her car any longer.

  She was right, he thought as he closed the door again. This wasn’t logical. But for now, he was stuck with it.

  Less than five minutes later, the door opened again. Dennis turned, thinking that perhaps she had forgotten something.

  But instead of Nicole, he saw Winston’s four-by-four body entering as the latter walked toward him.

  Winston jerked a thumb behind him at the door. “I thought I’d let myself in.” He looked at the black Labrador that was shadowing every move Dennis made. “Bonding with the dog?”

  Dennis threw a stuffed, well-chewed fuzzy toy over to the corner of the room. Romeo chased after it and then settled down with the toy between his paws.

  “I have an affinity for dumb animals.” Dennis turned to look at his partner. “Speaking of which, what are you doing out of your cage?”

  Free of the van’s confinement, Winston stretched his legs and went directly to the refrigerator. He’d heard Nicole’s instructions to Dennis regarding breakfast and extended them to include himself. He poured himself a bowl of cereal, and then went for the milk.

  “I’ve been thinking. If you believe she doesn’t have anything to do with the Syndicate, and they obviously didn’t find the disk, why do we tell Sherwood we’re still hanging around here?”

  Dennis watched as Winston made short work of the cereal. “Because somehow, she’s the connection.” He’d worked this out for himself earlier. “Logan had that disk. He wouldn’t have destroyed it.” Dennis was certain of that. “He would have hidden it somewhere safe, thinking it was his insurance policy against the Syndicate.”

  Finished, Winston rinsed out the bowl and placed it on the rack. “Boy, was he wrong.”

  “Yeah, but that disk is still around somewhere. My guess is that she doesn’t know she knows.”

  Winston turned his attention to the bananas in the fruit bowl. He broke off one banana from the bunch, offering the rest to Dennis. Dennis placed them back in the bowl.

  Inhaling the banana, Winston tossed the peel into the garbage. “So what are you going to do, hypnotize her?”

  He let the wisecrack pass. “I’m going to invest a little more time and see if I can figure out where Logan hid it. Something I say might trigger her memory.”

  Winston raised his eyes toward the miniature camera. “Just be careful you don’t wind up triggering other things.”

  Dennis put his hand on the doorknob. “Your van’s calling to you.”

  But Winston remained where he was. He nodded toward the Labrador. “What did you say the pooch’s name was?”

  “Romeo.”

  Winston called out, “Sic ’im, Romeo.”

  Romeo looked from one man to the other and continued chewing on the stuffed toy. It was shaped to look like a man and Dennis couldn’t help wondering what the dog thought as he methodically worked on the toy’s leg.

  Winston shook his head. “Doesn’t respond to commands very well, does he?”

  “I told him to stay.”

  Winston sighed. “Figures.” He looked out the window. Craning his neck, he could see the converted Volkswagen bus. “Lucky thing I’m not claustrophobic.”

  “You make up for it by being a chronic complainer,” Dennis deadpanned.

  Winston muttered something under his breath about applying for a transfer as he left.

  Nicole drove home from the hospital in a daze. She wasn’t even certain how she got into the car, or how the car had found its way to the freeway.

  She didn’t need this.

  The words echoed over and over again in her mind. This wasn’t the kind of surprise she was free to welcome now. Under other circumstances, she might have even been overjoyed, a little stunned, maybe, but definitely happy. But not now. In her present situation, with ghouls hiding in the shadows, waiting to upend her life, or worse, she just wasn’t equipped to handle this latest piece of news.

  Automatically, she eased down on the brake as she came to a stop sign at the end of the freeway exit. As the car stopped, she looked down at her stomach in wonder.

  Twins. She was going to have twins. Two babies. Two mouths to feed, two bottoms to change. Two tiny human beings depending on her to show them the right path. Nicole pressed her lips together, sealing in a moan.

  Oh, God.

  The numbness increased instead of abated as she approached her apartment complex. She pulled into her designated spot in the carport and then just sat there, too overwhelmed to get out.

  It felt like the straw that ultimately broke the camel’s back.

  Dennis looked out the front window and wondered why Nicole was just sitting there. Since she hadn’t wanted him to take her, Dennis had requested that another agent follow her to the hospital while he remained in her apartment. There was an outside chance that Standish’s men might return, and he wanted to be there if they did. He had remained in her apartment the entire time she’d been gone, sifting through things, looking for anything that might give him a clue where the disk was hidden. He’d come up with nothing.

  Shirley, an agent he sometimes worked with, had called in half an hour ago, saying nothing eventful had taken place and that Nicole was on her way home. Yet something must have happened. Even from where he was standing, Nicole looked as white as a sheet.

  He wondered
if the shock of having her apartment ransacked had hit her belatedly. When she still didn’t get out, Dennis hurried out to the car.

  “Are you all right?”

  Nicole looked to her left. The window was rolled down and Dennis was crouching beside her. Still in a mental fog, she hadn’t heard him approach. She shook her head slowly. “No. I may never be all right again.”

  He couldn’t begin to guess what was wrong. Nicole didn’t look any different than when she had left, except that the color had drained out of her face.

  “What—?”

  She stared down at her swollen abdomen as if it didn’t belong to her. “I’m having twins.”

  Everything was all right. She hadn’t been approached by Standish’s men. Relief nudged aside the concern that had been mushrooming within him.

  He wasn’t supposed to be concerned. Not to this extent. There had always been a small section of himself that he’d held in reserve. He did it consciously. It allowed him to step back and view situations impartially. That was a necessary part of the job.

  It was also, he supposed, a survival mechanism. Remaining uninvolved allowed him to maintain an overview that always showed him the way out.

  But right now, he couldn’t find that line, that boundary limit that he refrained from crossing over. Without that boundary, he felt himself slipping into Nicole’s world. It was the look on her face that had done it. Or perhaps her obstinacy not to accept any help when she obviously needed it.

  She made him feel protective.

  “Twins?” He stood up again. “Is that all? That’s great.”

  The look on her face told him that she didn’t think it was so great.

  He opened the door for her and took her elbow to help her out. Nicole went through the motions of pulling away, but it was halfhearted at best.

  “It’s all right, I can walk.” Her words sounded wooden, hollow. She made him think of a foreign movie in which the character’s lips were out of sync with the sound track.

  Dennis closed the car door behind her, locking it. He took her arm again. “Humor me, you’ve obviously had a shock.”

  “It’s not a shock,” Nicole protested, the words springing to her lips reflexively. It was a mistake, the sonogram was wrong. She wasn’t having twins. She couldn’t be. “It’s a…” Her voice trailed off as helplessness fought for control of her. “A shock,” she conceded ruefully.

  He was leading her to her door. She moved in a trance, barely aware of her surroundings.

  “God, what am I going to do? Twins.” She looked at Dennis, her eyes wide. “Double the work, double the expense.”

  How in God’s name was she supposed to manage all this? Craig hadn’t left any insurance policy to cover expenses in case he died. He had planned on living forever. She shook her head, attempting to clear it. He hadn’t left anything except debts and trouble.

  Dennis pushed the door open now and gently urged Nicole toward the threshold. “Look at it from the positive side,” he suggested.

  Nicole blinked and looked at him as if suddenly realizing where she was. She looked up. The air was brisker now. And the sky so blue it made her long to be somewhere else. As someone else. It was the kind of day you sat on a bench, your hands thrust deep into your pockets, talking to someone you were in love with. It wasn’t meant to be spent in a tailspin. Which was exactly the way she felt.

  She walked inside the apartment. “Such as?”

  Romeo came bounding over, waiting to be petted. Dennis quickly shut the door and obliged the animal. His eyes never left Nicole’s.

  “Double the fun. Double the love.” It was what he felt she needed to hear.

  Her expression was incredulous. He was the kind of man she pictured with a baby on each knee. He’d be good at it, not her.

  “Doesn’t your plane ever land? I’m going to need two of everything.” God, but she felt overwhelmed. “Like two sets of hands to start with.” She blew out a breath, suddenly feeling cheated. Worrying took away the joy. “I was really looking forward to this baby.”

  That shouldn’t have changed. “You still can.” He slanted a look at her face. “Twice as much.”

  Was he trying to be funny? And what did he care, anyway? It wasn’t his problem. None of this was. She looked at him petulantly. “Do you realize that for the rest of my life, I’m going to be outnumbered?”

  She looked so serious, Dennis laughed in response. He couldn’t help himself. Annoyed at first, Nicole suddenly joined in. The laughter helped clear away some of the stress she felt.

  “Well, I will be,” she insisted, gasping for breath.

  He urged her toward the kitchen chair, then opened the refrigerator. He poured a glass of orange juice and set it in front of her.

  “Don’t think of it as ‘them’ and ‘you,’” Dennis told her. “Think of it as an ‘us.’ Besides, the twins will have built-in playmates. You won’t have to worry about them getting lonely.”

  He was right, but she didn’t feel like conceding that to him. Not right away. Not until she got over being mad at the world.

  “What makes you such an expert?”

  “I got along really well with my sister, except for occasionally burying her Barbie doll.” He ran his long fingers along Romeo’s head. The dog was sitting beside the table, his tail thumping on the ground. “We’re still pretty close.”

  Nicole took a sip of her juice. He had a point. She and Marlene got along well, although there had been a period of time that they didn’t. But that rift had been caused by their father, not because of any real animosity between them. She had regarded Marlene as her father’s puppet and had urged her to break free. In turn, Marlene had tried to make her conform to acceptable behavior. They might have spared themselves the trouble. Except when he criticized them, their father had ignored them both.

  “This could be a good thing,” she murmured, more to herself than to him. “At least for the baby. Babies,” she amended.

  This, she thought, was going to take a hell of a lot of getting used to.

  Dennis knew she was right about one thing. She was going to need twice as many things. He thought of Rick Abrahams. He’d helped to recover the man’s kidnapped son. Grateful beyond words, Abrahams had offered him his life’s savings as a reward. Dennis had demurred, not even settling for dinner. Maybe Nicole could purchase a few items of furniture from him at wholesale prices.

  “You know,” he began slowly, “one of my clients is Tiny Tots Furnishings. Why don’t I take you around to the factory today and we’ll see what kind of a deal we can arrange?”

  Resistance didn’t leap up the way it normally might. She needed help and she knew it. Accepting it from him wasn’t difficult. “You’re being nice again.”

  For the sake of the role he was playing, Dennis grinned at her easily. They were making progress. She was beginning to trust him. He wished it didn’t make him feel so guilty.

  “Sorry, I’m trying to dispel the bad publicity lawyers get.”

  She felt herself smiling. God, for a few minutes back there, she was certain that she would never be able to smile again. “Single-handedly?”

  He lifted a shoulder, then let it drop. “It has to start somewhere.”

  Even if yesterday hadn’t happened, she would have still needed more than she had. Another crib, another high chair. Twice as many clothes as she had now.

  Nicole set down the empty glass and shook her head as Dennis began to refill it. “You really know a baby furniture manufacturer?”

  Dennis nodded. “I saved his factory for him two years ago.” He substituted the word factory for son. “The owner told me to come around if I ever needed to furnish my nursery.”

  “You don’t,” she noted.

  He didn’t know which he disliked more. When she was being wary, or when she looked devastated.

  “Semantics. You do. And favors make the world go around.”

  How well she knew that. You never really got something for nothing. There was al
ways a payment due in the end. Her expression sobered as she looked at Dennis. “And what sort of favor will you expect for this?”

  She sounded as if she expected him to exact some sort of horrible payment from her. “Who did this to you, Nicole?”

  His voice was so kind, so gentle. So damn understanding. Resistance wasn’t easy, but she managed. “Who did what?”

  He saw the guarded look in her eyes. It was something he should have heeded. But didn’t. “Who made you so suspicious?”

  She wasn’t going to answer him. She really wasn’t. But there was that same understanding look in his eyes. She found herself trusting it. Just for a moment.

  Nicole began petting the dog. Romeo accepted it as his due and laid his head on her lap. Nicole knew that if she looked at Dennis, if she saw pity on his face, she wouldn’t be able to stand it.

  “I’ve made some really bad choices in my life. I picked the wrong people to care about, the wrong people to trust.”

  Images of her father, of Craig and of her mother flashed through her mind. Each had abandoned her in their own way. And taught her a lifelong lesson she intended never to forget. A lesson that told her not to place her faith in anyone.

  But the man beside her was making it very hard to remember.

  It wasn’t all that simple. “Sometimes these things are out of our hands.” He raised her chin until her eyes were level with his. “Sometimes we don’t have any say in who we care about.”

  An edgy panic filled her. She didn’t want to slide down that hole again. “Oh, yes, we do. And I am never going to care about anyone again.”

  “Does that go for the baby?” he asked quietly. “Or the babies,” he amended.

  She shrugged carelessly, annoyed that he was so quick to point out inconsistencies. Of course it didn’t apply to her babies. It didn’t apply to Marlene, either. But that was different. Marlene had been there for her since the very beginning. She would always trust Marlene. But no one else.

  “It’s too late there,” she answered grudgingly. “But that’s the exception that proves the rule.” She knew she wasn’t making sense, but she didn’t care. “Besides, it’ll be years before the babies can walk out on me.”