by Meg Collett
His words settled like stones in my stomach. They landed with the force of solid blows, taking my breath away. My chest flared with warmth.
“I . . .” I swallowed the extra saliva in my mouth. “I don’t hold it against you.”
Was this what my mother had felt? When she knew the darkness inside Fear University but still felt the power of change in people? Had she felt this horrible, hot ache in her heart? I thought she might have.
“You should, especially after last night. But my point is that I understand why you won’t be his executioner.” His eyes shifted behind me to the car, maybe to Luke. Maybe not. “I’m glad you beat us to it.”
“To what?”
“Rebuilding yourself. You did a better job than we ever could.”
There was so much heat in my chest, and I hated it as much as I wanted to hate him for his part in Ghost’s death and for the rules he held so strongly to. “Thad . . .”
“I came out here to warn you.”
The fire disappeared. Instantly, I went cold. I already knew what he would say. “About what?”
“Hex. When he knows . . .” He struggled with the words as if he had to force the betrayal from his mouth. “He’ll come after you. It won’t matter that you’re his daughter. It didn’t matter for Irena. The only thing he cares about is building a halfling force to kill the hunter families and annihilate Fear University. When you don’t help during Killian’s trial, when he knows for certain you betrayed him, he’ll come for you and anyone around you.”
He’d risked a lot to tell me what I already knew. I’d known the moment Hex told me he’d waited to save my mother from Dean. Part of me had known when he waited to get me too. He was building an army, forging weapons, breeding destruction—just like Dean. Two sides of the same coin.
But I’d chosen my lesser monster, just like my mother had years before me. She’d failed. I wouldn’t.
“I’m counting on it,” I said as I turned to leave.
E I G H T E E N
Sunny
“I haven’t been completely honest with you all.”
From the backseat of the car, I groaned at Ollie’s words. Luke’s grip tightened on the wheel, but he didn’t take his eyes off the snowy road to Campbell Airstrip, where Hatter had left the bush plane.
Hatter just stared out the window. He’d barely looked at me since the time we’d spent together right before Ollie came crashing into the warehouse with Ghost. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal—we had bigger things going on—but his silence jabbed at me like a tiny stone in the bottom of my shoe.
“What do you mean?” Luke asked as the tension in the car ratcheted up a few notches.
We all held our breaths because Ollie was a wild card these days.
“The first night I went out to talk to Hex, when you were attacked, he gave me an ultimatum.”
Luke shot her a darting glance, and I leaned forward to see her face. She was cradling her burnt hand in her lap. I’d put some ointment on it and wrapped it for her. It would probably scar since she’d gone off into the woods without telling me about it first, but at least it wouldn’t get infected, not under my watch.
“What kind of ultimatum?” I asked.
She met my eyes before speaking, and I saw how much her next few words bothered her to say aloud. “He told me he’s planning to attack the university during Killian’s trial.”
A tap-tapping sound filled the car as Luke’s fingers twitched against the leather steering wheel.
“He wanted me to help, on the inside. He said that after I learned everything about my mother—after I earned the truth from him—I would want to help.”
Luke’s fingers stopped. The only sound came from the slushing turn of the tires over the road. No one wanted to ask the question. I reminded myself this was her decision to make, her life, and then asked, “Is that why we’re going back? So you can help Hex?”
“No.” We all relaxed a bit. “My mother didn’t turn her back on Fear University, and neither will I.”
We all waited for the rest of the story, the final bit Hex had told her, but it never came.
“What about Dean?” Luke eventually asked.
“I know how to deal with him now,” she said. “I know what he wants, and I’ll give it to him in return for him backing a few changes on how the university operates.”
“You’re going to negotiate with him to let in the halflings, aren’t you?” I asked.
Ollie looked back at me with such fierceness in her eyes that I knew I was right.
“That and more. The university still stands for something good, and my mother knew that. She fought for it up until the day she died. She had a vision for how the school could be, and I’m going to see it through.”
She spoke with a purpose that clipped her words, like beats of a drum, strong and slow. I hadn’t seen her like this in a long time.
“Okay,” I said. “I’m with you.”
Luke cursed and hit the brakes. The tires squealed as the car fishtailed. I cringed on reflex, my eyes squeezing shut, my body shrinking back into my seat. Hatter’s arm slammed across my body. My heart flipped into my throat, and I waited for the crash.
Nothing happened.
Luke stopped the car. Slowly, Hatter lowered his arm from across my chest.
Up front, Ollie said, “What the hell is this?”
As I opened my eyes, I heard her car door open.
“Ollie,” Luke started to warn her, but she was already gone.
Hatter and I peered through the front windshield. Three members from Hex’s pack stood in the middle of the road. I couldn’t remember their names, except for Tully, the one with the dreads and whose family had been killed. If they were here to stop us, if they’d come to attack . . .
Ollie stopped in front of them.
Hatter glanced at me, at my window, probably calculating the danger. “Maybe we should—”
“Give her a minute.” Luke leaned forward and rolled down his window so we could hear.
“We know about Hex’s plans,” Tully was saying, his eyes unblinking as he stared at Ollie, “and we understand why you made your own. There are others who would agree.”
My breath caught in my chest. Others. Relief punched through my stomach. Ollie must have been just as moved by the support, because Tully offered her a tired smile.
“Hex took the rest of the pack right after your talk,” the second ’swang with auburn hair and freckles said. “We haven’t seen him since.”
“He’s preparing for the attack during Killian’s trial.” Ollie spoke matter-of-factly, as if she wasn’t discussing the possible death of thousands.
The last pack member nodded. “He has more support than just his pack. He can gather a small army. Many aswangs will fight just for the chance to take down the university, no matter Hex’s reasons.”
“Why are you helping us?” Ollie asked, and even from the car, I heard the thickness in her voice.
“Because he’s wrong,” Tully said with a certainty that moved me. He looked at Ollie and didn’t waver. He trusted her. Believed in her. I hoped she knew that.
She had allies. She wasn’t alone.
“We can’t keep fighting all the rogues by ourselves,” the second ’swang said, adding to Tully’s argument. “It’s time for a change.”
“Fear University can be that,” Ollie said. “Down to my bones, I believe that. My mother did too. On the day she died, I believe she still trusted the purpose of the university. It’s just gotten a little wayward because of the men who led it astray, but it can still be a place that protects people and fights against rogues, both human and ’swang.”
Tully put his hand on her shoulder. “We believe that too.”
He couldn’t know what being touched was like for her, but she didn’t pull away.
“Thank you,” she said.
“We’ll meet you down there. On the way, we’ll talk to a few others we believe might agree with us.” The second �
�swang was bouncing on his feet as he spoke, ready to go.
“If you need us, we’ll be outside the school’s fence. We’ll stay close.”
Before Tully could finish, Ollie pulled him into a hug. Luke looked away, his eyes on the center of the steering wheel. I figured he was probably thinking about Tully’s family, wondering if he’d been the one responsible. I reached over the console and squeezed his forearm. He didn’t pull away either. Maybe he was grateful. After taking a deep breath, he returned his attention to Ollie.
The three aswangs left, back into the woods alongside the road, and Ollie returned to the car as Luke rolled up his window.
“You heard?” she asked as she settled into her seat, her eyes finding us. Then she smiled, just a fraction, but it was a real smile. It was something.
“We did,” Luke said, putting the car in drive.
“What does this mean? Can we even get them inside the university?” I asked.
Her smile stretched a little wider. Chills swept down my arms.
“Once Dean hears my offer, I think he’ll give me anything I want.”
* * *
We landed on the university’s airstrip right at dusk. A few other bush planes were taking off and landing around us, and even more were being taxied around. Lights shone down on the runways and the workers out spreading salt from trucks. In the distance, the wind turbines slowly rotated like giants waving down at us.
Closer to the university’s central building, I felt it. The place was electric.
It wasn’t from the sheer number of people descending into the school. From what I remembered when my family would drop my brothers off, that was normal for the end of winter break. But this was different. Killian’s trial had everyone abuzz. Hunters from all over had come in to see an Aultstriver tried for his crimes. Families flocked together in droves, whisking around the school’s property in all-terrain vehicles. All the barracks would be full tonight, along with every room in the school. Some of the younger, hardier hunters were even camping out in the field between the airfield and the front courtyard. Huge bonfires dotted the space, warming the air until it was almost unbearably hot.
As we walked onto the courtyard, a hush fell over the crowd around us. People moved out of the way as we passed, their eyes locked on Ollie before shifting to the rest of us. So much had happened that I’d forgotten we were at the center of this too.
Ollie kept her head down, but I knew she had to hear the murmurs spoken behind hands. It bothered me. Like, it irritated me so much I wanted to scream at them. They thought they had this complete idea of what she was and who she was. Some great, upcoming warrior. A killer. A pretty, but scarred girl who’d been tortured and tested, only to come out harder and meaner for it. They read her tight walk, her straight spine, her puffy jacket and boots, and her set jaw, and they thought they knew.
They only saw their favorite kind of monster stalking past them.
I thought, for a moment, some might even cheer.
It made me sick.
They had no clue what she’d been through, what she’d fought against to even be at this point. Worst of all, these people had no idea what was coming for them and what she still had to fight—all for them. She didn’t have to come back here. Logic should have sent her running in the other direction from this place. But here she was, ready to fight, yet again.
It made me proud of her, but also so sad. Luke and Hatter must have felt the same way, because we all inched forward, flanking in around Ollie and shielding her. We collectively picked up our pace, gliding through the crowd that had gathered in the courtyard for dinner. We blocked out the blanket silence that had fallen over everyone.
I had no clue how Luke felt about all this—I couldn’t even begin to imagine—but as we came to the university’s front doors, which stood open even with the chill, he whispered something into Ollie’s ear and eased into the crowd. Everyone was so busy focusing on Ollie that they hardly noticed him.
He’d been the golden boy here once, the prodigious hunter. His Aultstriver name and his kill count had bought him respect and fear in equal measures. Things were going to change for him. I just didn’t know how badly.
Hatter touched my back and went after him.
I was busy watching him go, wondering what would happen to us, that I almost ran into Ollie’s back when she slowed down.
“Wha—” I started.
Her attention was locked on a family. They were far enough away that the group of nearly fifty around them hadn’t noticed us yet, but somehow, her eyes had snagged on them, as if she could smell the sparking violence coming off the father.
A middle-aged man with patchy hair and a gut had his son by the back of his neck. It would’ve been an innocent gesture if not for the press of his body and the tightening grip that dimpled the boy’s skin. The father hissed words into the son’s ear. He shook him. Next to them, the wife paled, but she didn’t say anything to her husband.
The people around them, the students and hunters and other families, didn’t say anything to the father either. They didn’t even notice.
The violence was so normal.
Ollie angled toward them, a snarl tugging at her lips. The people closest to us backed away.
“Sunny!” Someone calling my name from across the courtyard distracted us both. I turned away from the family right as Nyny trotted up to us, her lavender hair braided and bouncing against her back. She was carrying a jumbo-sized coffee thermos. “I’ve been looking for you guys.”
“Sorry.” I darted another glance at the father. The boy, who had to be new first-year, was cowering beneath his father’s hold and shaking. “I should’ve called. It’s been a busy few days.”
“No problem. Hey, Ollie,” Nyny said, offering her a nod.
“Hey.” Ollie’s voice was cold and distant. She never looked away from the family.
Nyny’s brows spiked.
“Thanks for coming,” I said quickly to distract her. “I really appreciate it.”
“Of course. I brought the stuff with me. Do you want to head down to the lab and talk?”
Ollie hadn’t even heard us. With visible effort, she pulled her attention away from the family and focused on us, for a brief second.
“I’m going to talk to Dean,” she said.
“Do you want me to come with you? What about Luke?”
“I’ll do it alone.”
With that, she headed off, cutting straight to the front doors and disappearing inside. I shot one last glance at the family, but they’d disappeared into the crowd.
“Are you going to tell me what the hell’s going on?” Nyny asked, hands on her hips. “And why did you tell me to bring all the powdered wolf’s bane I have?”
* * *
Ollie
There was something I had to admit to myself before I knocked on Dean’s door.
Something I hadn’t wanted to admit for a long time, since Fields, but really, before that. Since the Halloween party.
Dean Bogrov scared me. As in, terrified me.
I let that sink in while I waited in one of the alcoves in the university’s wing where all the offices were located. The halls were mostly silent; the classrooms would be used as temporary rooms for the visitors, but everyone seemed to be outside, reveling in the entire community coming together. They thought they were here to witness the fall of a great Original family, but they were all just sitting ducks. Aswang bait. Fat for the feast.
Dean was in his office. I knew by the light beneath the door and the occasional passing shadow.
He’d likely received word of my arrival from the airfield the moment Hatter’s plane touched down on the strip. I hadn’t expected him to meet us. There would be no show for the people outside, no open arms for a returning student. No, our battle had to play out behind closed doors. And he was waiting, on his turf, for me to come to him.
That was how we played our game.
And that was why he terrified me. He knew exactly how
to play me and which buttons to push. If he wanted me on my knees, he only had to look as far as Sunny, Luke, and Hatter. My family. My pack.
He had me dead to rights. There was nothing I could do about it.
So I was scared, but then, a lot scared me lately. I could handle it. I eased out from the shadows and took a deep breath.
“You’re fine,” I whispered to myself.
My feet wouldn’t move.
“You can do this.”
My fingers started to tremble.
I wondered how many times my mother had been in this position. She’d come back from her hunts, from gathering live rogues for Dean, and likely stand in a similar spot, preparing herself. She knew what she would face on the other side of that door. Toward the end, she’d pitted herself against Dean to save the university. She’d done this dance for years.
I could do it tonight.
I wished for her red jacket. I wanted to smell her scent and feel the comfort I’d grown so accustomed to while in Anchorage. But it was lost, along with Ghost.
She had fought for kids like Ghost, and that was comfort enough.
I strode to his door.
I didn’t knock.
The door swung open easily.
He’d heard me coming. His chair was leaned back, a scotch in his hand. He’d been waiting.
A few lamps warmed the room. The large window behind his desk, behind him, showed a glowing school, the bonfires, and the mingling of thousands atop a snowy landscape. An entire world existed below us.
“Hello, Ollie.” He rocked forward, draining his drink and setting it aside. “I’m glad to see you’re not dead.”
I locked the door behind me. No interruptions.
“Glad to not be dead,” I said as I crossed the room.
Almost imperceptibly, his shoulders tensed; his fingers twitched toward the right, topmost drawer of his desk. I suspected he kept a weapon there by the way he flicked his gaze to it, counting the time it would take him to draw it on me.