“Aye, he did,” Andra admitted slowly.
Men are beasts!
Andra softly banged her head against the door trying not to cry in self-pity. Why did she feel as if something was missing from her life? The strain in her heart and soul told her she was a part of something bigger but as hard as she looked she had never found it. And now when she thought she had found a knight and a man that created odd sensations in her chest and loins, she finds out that he is no different from any other.
A man will always be just a man and he thinks with the shaft between his legs!
She tried to recall Crimm's words from one of her lessons. And with some degree of sanity, she did after using the curse words that she had heard from the guards.
“Beauty lies on the skin, brawn lies in the muscle, courage lies in the heart, but the most important thing to one’s self is what lies in the soul. That is what no one can take from ye or destroy if ye cultivate it and let it grow throughout your life. It is entirely up to ye to decide if ye want to be wicked and mean or strong and carin'. Ye actions define who ye are, so be ye woman or be ye mouse? Be ye a wretched creature or be ye strong and bold.”
“I will be strong and bold!” she whispered, “Matters na that I am na beauty, matters na that men are beasts, I am woman and I am strong!”
Andra pulled herself up and quickly dressed herself. She held her head high as she left her room and made her way down the stairs to the balcony off from the ballroom. She smiled as the sun kissed her cheeks. Instantly she was at peace but her heart ached for something she didn’t know how to explain.
Aching and longing for some magical manifestation she let her mind drift back in time. Once when she was but a little girl she had believed in fairies, unicorns, and mythical legends. But that had been long ago when her mother had been alive.
A tear slid down her cheek as she tried to remember her mother’s face and couldn’t. The one memory she retained of her mother was only words. Words she cherished and wanted to believe with all of her heart and soul.
“Fear not little one. You are a princess and one day you will rule the world where I come from. You will fly through the rainbows and your destiny will come roaring his love to you.”
She had the strangest accent and the most delicate voice. With a deep sigh Andra forced herself to the here and now. The only female that she had for company was either one of Aran’s lovers or the spiteful Grace. Even Crimm had bedded the heathen woman. Andra’s shoulders shook with defiance.
How dare that woman treat me in such a manner!
Sitting on the ledge and clearing her mind of Grace's words, she took a long deep breath. Voices drew her mind to the gardens. She looked slightly to the left and saw her father's back and Crimm's side. In front of them, Laird McKregan and two of his warriors stood stone like. They talked in dull whispers that Andra could not decipher. She quickly turned on her heel as the laird looked up at her and smiled.
Heathen! Beautiful strong dark heathen!
“Then it is done,” Duncan whispered with a smile on his lips.
Crimm slapped Kagan on the back and smiled, “Brothers in battle, brothers in friendship, and now brothers by marriage!”
Kagan nodded his head, “For now it will ha'e to wait, I ha'e much to attend to. I lea'e ye and ye father to do as I ask. She is claimed and na other is to touch her. We will make it official when the time is right.”
Kagan smelled honey and vanilla and looked up to the balcony.
Flawless!
Her shoulders were bare and her gown dipped down over her splendid breast. The rest of the gown catered to her curves in sheer delight. Smiling, he met her gaze. He laughed softly as her cheeks flamed and she turned to run. His smile broadened as he looked at the Duncans, she was his now and he prayed his children would have her sea green eyes and sun streaked mousy hair.
Andra's deep groan echoed down the hall as she stalked toward the second floor. She wondered why Dagma had made such a perfect man and why on earth had he sent him to Shinonoble. Why did she have to be homely and fat? Her eyes dropped to the voluptuous swell of her breast and sighed loudly. More than would fit in a man's hand.
She stopped at the window that overlooked the stables and Kagan walked into her sights. His kilt fit snugly over his hips and Andra silently hoped it would fall, exposing his bottom. She closed her eyes and his face imprinted itself into her memory. Her dreams would be filled with the dark proud warrior every night and his shining armor would disappear at dawn.
Chapter3
Shinonoble Keep 1572
“Absolutely na!” roared Crimm Duncan at his eighteen year old sister.
The five-foot and five-inch beauty held her ground under his chin as well as any man. The men in the bailey slunk away as the two headstrong Duncans battled with words and body language. And none of them dared to stay around to hear the outcome, let alone to see it.
“Why na, I'm eighteen and well past proper age of courtship!” she roared back as she handed him a twisted dagger.
“Nay! I will'na ha'e ye prancin' 'round like a barmaid in front of the blasted vultures at that gatherin',” he snapped through clenched teeth.
“Ye'r bein' stubborn and downright mean. All the girls in the highlands will be there and most of them are only fifteen or sixteen,” she screamed at her brother as he aimed the blade.
“It is na a place I will allow ye to go. The men will slobber all o'er those girls and disgrace the ones that get lured out into the shadows,” he argued as he let the dagger fly at the target. “Ye are too gullible to be let loose prowlin’ ‘round a bunch of leeches.”
“Am I so ugly and homely that ye and Da keep me locked away like a prisoner? Are ye ashamed I am yer sister? Do ye na want me to be married and ha'e babes to sit on yer knee?” she asked as she tried to appear distraught.
“Nay little sister, ye'r a beautiful woman, but it is for yer own good, na man is worthy of ye,” he quickly said as his brows etched together.
“Just let me go, this one time. Please. I ha'e na once been to a gatherin' or to a dance or courted. I swear I will be careful and na attract any attention to myself. Please Crimm, I would be grateful and I'll promise to throw myself o'er a cliff if I shame ye in any way,” she pleaded as she let a tear slide down her cheek during her performance.
She desperately wanted to see Calin, her friend from years ago, and knew if she was going to see him she had to play Crimm right into her hands. She had played with Calin in the stables and he had been the first boy she had ever kissed.
When she was thirteen, he had kissed her. It was a new experience and they had kissed often and taught each other how to kiss until their lips ached. But even so, his kisses were always wet and rather poor in comparison to the kisses of Laird McKregan. It had never gotten past Calin's unskilled caresses before he had left with his father. He was eighteen then and twenty now.
Andra sighed. Calin’s kisses now seemed dull and empty. Her eyes hazed as she recalled Laird McKregan’s hard hot demanding kiss and the power that had consumed her. She had been so foolish and clung to him. She groaned softly as she wished for just one more kiss from the laird. How she longed to be able to touch his rock hard body and feel his warm breath caressing her neck and whispering in her ear.
Crimm took a deep ragged breath as he looked into his sister's pleading eyes. He could see the longing in her eyes and it tugged hard on his strings. It was an important gathering and he knew that everyone there would be looking for a mate, but how much trouble could she possibly get into?
“Ye must swear to wear a cape and keep yer face hidden and speak to na one 'cept me,” he groaned knowing his decision was going against his better judgment.
Andra's happy smile brightened his heart. He smiled as she flung herself into his arms and kissed his cheek. Any other man would have given her the moon for such a kiss, but her brother tried to stand his ground as she giggled in delight.
“Swear it!” he ordered.
&n
bsp; “Can I speak to Calin if he is there?” she asked, “As long as I wear my cape and speak to na one else?” She almost begged.
“The stable boy?” he questioned.
“Aye, the freckled faced one that I use to play with as a child,” she answered.
“Only if he is ugly and deformed and already married off to another.” Crimm spit, “Now off with ye to get dressed 'fore I change my mind and lock ye in yer room!”
“I swear I will wear my cape and speak to only ye and Calin,” she returned over her shoulder as she ran to her room and under her breath she continued, “And to anyone else that I find interestin'.”
Crimm's head sagged; his thoughts were heavy and taxed. Perhaps Kagan had forgotten about Ell'andra. After all, it had been nearly three years and Andra would soon be nineteen. By highland way of life, she should have been married and with babe by now. He thought she needed a husband to tame her wildness but Crimm knew that her defiance would never allow such a thing.
Crimm frowned, he had given an oath to protect her and keep her intact until his laird came to claim her hand. He must see it through for three more years until her twenty-second birthday; hence the marriage claim would become null and void.
He would permit this one gathering, for naught else but to see Andra happy for a few scant hours. He had kept her locked away and had forbidden her to leave the keep's grounds. His brow nervously pulled up and he hurried to his room to prepare for the gathering. It was only two hours of freedom, two hours too long, two hours with scores of men slobbering over the flesh of young women. By Dagma, he must let her have two hours!
Andra hurried in case Crimm had a change of heart and met him in front of the stables. She wore her best, prettiest white gown and matching slippers. The gold manacle clung tightly to her bicep and a gold locket hung to her exposed bosom. The gown stretched tightly across her breast and they threatened to burst out at any second. She carefully draped the scarlet silk cape around her bare shoulders and pulled the hood over her gold streaked curls. The cape hid her eyes and nose only to actuate her full lips.
A woman’s lips could be a man’s downfall and he groaned. He knew Andra was more than just another pretty face and that was a scary thought. He had overheard more than several of the guards and warriors saying that she was beautiful. Many men had died just to look upon a beauty such as hers. And then, he groaned again.
“Let us take our lea'e 'fore my sanity returns and I chase ye to yer room!” Crimm announced as he helped her up into the carriage.
They arrived an hour and forty-five minutes later at Gildon Castle. The castle overlooked a huge eerie lake and loomed like a black cloud above the shoreline. The dark stone of the castle glistened with moisture as they neared. A chill went up Andra’s spine as they were ushered into the gardens where the party was in full bloom. The sun kissed the horizon and slowly melted away as maids lit the oil lamps and a soft glow floated over the obscenely elegant garden.
Andra searched frantically for Calin's face, oblivious to the fact that Crimm had wondered off to chat with a few of the young women who were swooning at his large handsome feet. She finally caught him in her sight as she waded through the crowded mess of men and women. The wind had grown chilled and she shivered as she breathed in the heavy smell of the lake’s water.
Calin had surprised her in the stable last month as she fed and watered the horses. She had squealed with joy as he swept her up into his manly strong arms, he was no more lanky and boyish. They had shared a deep kiss and hugged each other fiercely. His dark red hair lay in tight curls around his handsome face as he begged Andra to come to the gathering. She had promised and hurried him out of the stable yard before anyone was the wiser.
And now, here she was, walking towards him in the soft shadows and he was standing slightly to his right as he toyed with the banquet of food displayed on the large wooden table.
She spoke softly as she kept her eye on Crimm, “Go five hedges down and meet me in the tree line.”
He pretended to be interested in the food before him as she slipped away and edged down the row of large hedges. A blonde caught Crimm's eye and Andra made her escape into the trees. She waited for several minutes before Calin came to her side. She flung herself into his open arms and buried her head into his neck.
“I've missed ye much,” she whispered in true confession.
“And I ha'e missed ye and yer green eyes as well,” he whispered back.
“Why did we ha'e to grow up? Ye left me and went to find yer way in the world....” She paused as she wiped a tear, “It has been too long.”
“Yer brute of a brother tucked ye away like a spinster in that old drafty keep and tried to keep ye away from me,” he softly chided.
“Crimm and Da are so overbearin' and protective at times that I want to choke both of 'em. They think that just 'cause I'm na as pretty as the rest of the girls, they ha'e to keep me at home under lock and key. It makes na sense less they are truly embarrassed by my homeliness. I honestly did'na think Crimm was goin' to fall for my charms, but thank Dagma he did. I ha'e longed to see ye,” she sulked.
Calin knitted his brows together, “Na pretty as all the others?”
“Aye, tis my curse,” she retorted as she twisted a lock of stray hair in her fingers. “Tis the reason Crimm and Da ha’e raised me as such.”
“Andra ye'r the prettiest of 'em all,” he insisted, “And I want ye all for myself. Ye da and brother, they see ye as the beauty ye are and hide ye from all eyes.”
“Oh, do go on, ye flatter me with yer kind words,” she cooed softly.
“Damn, just hug me again!” he ordered. His body was ramrod stiff and his heart sped as she came into his arms. “Tighter.”
She obliged and hugged his neck as he lifted her feet off of the ground. She smiled as he shoved the hood from her face and kissed her forehead.
“Andra?” he breathed slowly as he sat her feet onto the ground.
“Aye, it is me,” she laughed as his head bent to capture her lips.
Andra trusted Calin and she reached up to meet his lips with her own. He came down hard and swift. Andra caught her breath as his tongue darted into her mouth. She waited for her loins to ache, but they didn't. Kissing him back, she wanted to be pulled back into that place of wondrous emotion from so long ago. He released her lips and slid his hands up her waist and then slowly to her breast. His fingers trembled as he unlaced the bodice. She frowned as he slid his hands under the fabric and forced her breasts out from their hiding place.
“What are ye doin'?” she asked in an annoyed voice.
“Showin' ye how a man touches a woman when he wants her.” He hastily grasped her breasts and groaned despite trying not to do so.
“Out of pity?” she questioned.
“What?” Calin laughed and shook his head in disbelief.
“Surely, there are a hundred girls here more worthy than I,” she stated as she pulled away from his mouth and tried to straighten her gown.
“Let's get married,” he offered.
She slapped his hands, “Whate'er for?”
“To make babes and lay naked on the shores of our sweet country. To be together for the rest of our lives.”
“Nay,” she all but cringed at the thought of getting married, “Nay, I'll na burden myself with marriage.”
Calin ran his hand through his hair in confusion. He was sure Andra had known why he had wanted her to come. She had teased him since he was ten years old, and now she either thought she was too good to marry him or was interested in another man.
“I want ye to be my wife, I ha'e done well for myself and can put ye in a comfortable home and we can ha'e many children and ...damn, the only reason I came back to this land was to get ye,” he muttered as he scratched his head. “Ye can'na deny me this, I ha'e waited far too long.”
Andra stood perfectly still as she realized Calin was serious. Men were heathens, all of them. She slowly shook her head as her childhood ideology of
Calin disappeared. He was just another man trying to force a woman to see his side of the table, just another man who wanted to shove his shaft into a woman's loins to pleasure himself with no regard for the woman's plight.
Andra pulled herself together and tightened the laces on her gown, “I ha'e na intentions of gettin' married to ye or anyone else and I certainly do'na want to ha'e babes. I will'na make much of a wife to anyone, I know naught of womanly duties nor do I ha'e any desire to learn of 'em. I am na the right woman for ye. Ye deserve someone better.”
“What must I do to prove myself to ye or do ye belie'e yeself too good for my touches?” he hissed as he turned on his heel and cursed under his breath.
“There is nothing to prove. I donna want to marry ye,” she replied coldly.
Calin refused to take her no for an answer. He turned and grabbed her arms and crushed her to his body, “Ye will marry me or I will make love to ye right in this very spot, ruinin' ye for another man. Na one else will get what I ha'e waited for. What I ha'e dreamt 'bout for so very long.”
“And what exactly ha'e ye been waitin' and dreamin' 'bout?” asked a deep oddly familiar voice from behind Andra.
Calin released Andra as if she were an asp and bowed his head as he sank to one knee.
“Well, what ye been waitin' and dreamin' 'bout?” The man demanded an answer in a voice as deep as the recesses of hell and the color drained from Andra's face.
“For my beloved Andra milord,” he quickly answered as he stared at the ground.
Andra closed her eyes as tight as she could and tried to convince herself that it was not Laird McKregan who stood behind her. She prayed that it was not the voice that had charmed her years ago in the stables. Hastily covering her head with the cape, she turned to see her estranged savior. She strained to see the face that loomed above hers, all too aware of the man's body heat radiating across her skin and she trembled as her arm brushed his.
“Stand and be off with ye, this lady is'na for yer takin',” he ordered.
Calin stood and briskly walked away toward the faint glowing light from the gathering, leaving Andra to her doom and gritting his teeth every step of the way. He cursed himself for feeling like a child caught in some ill begotten act and quickly made his way out of the trees.
A Warrior's Perception Page 3