ONE HUNDRED AND NINE
The walls explode in on us and I duck and spin as screaming spiked stars come hurtling towards me. I take them down with a few well aimed shots. Through the debris I see Sue. Then something occurs to me.
‘Take the watch off me, Kieran,’ I shout, running for the cage. Behind me something growls and snarls and I don’t even bother looking to see what it is, because the look on Sue’s face tells me enough.
Kieran can’t. There’s something stopping him and I don’t know what, but I don’t intend to hang around long enough to find out.
The cage is shut, so as I race towards it I slam off a shot and the bullet sends the lock spinning into history. Sue’s out like a flash with the Uzi in her hand and we’re both running, as whatever is behind us snarls and growls.
‘You can’t get to him with bullets!’ shouts Sue. ‘You’ve got to think of a more intellectual way.’
‘He can intellectualise my fist!’ I yell, and suddenly there’s a wall in front of us and it’s getting bigger and bigger and there’s no way around it.
Sue kicks in the Uzi and carves a circle of holes, roughly the size of the two of us, and we slam through and are out in the streets and into a living nightmare.
ONE HUNDRED AND TEN
Dante was right, but he just got the wrong location. The streets are filled with howling beasts and they’ve all got my number. A thousand deformed heads turn towards us, and we’re off and running past the creatures. Jagged arms and heads with too many teeth reach out for us. They’re quick, but we’re quicker.
The way of the fist clears a path through the snarling, growling horde, with a smattering of assistance from the popgun and the Uzi.
Kieran looms up in the street ahead of us, his arms wide and his fingers splayed out. Lightning crackles in the air. It’s all about to go wrong.
I pull up fast and stop Sue. The creatures behind us screech to a halt as Kieran looks at them. He’s intrigued, confused, and as interested as anything else around us to see what I do next. And I don’t even know myself.
‘I’m starting to guess the problem, Kieran,’ I say, stalling for time as I eye any exits. There are none. ‘You can’t take the watch from me. You might be able to screw around with the nature of reality—what moron can’t?—but you can’t take the watch. If you want co-operation from me you’re going to have to start talking.’
‘It’s a deal.’ Kieran’s quick. No hesitation.
‘Who was the monk? Where did he get the watch?’
‘The watch has always been.’ Kieran snaps his fingers and a whisky appears in his hand. One hovers in the air in front of me. I pass. ‘The watch has always existed, a quick entrance into Hell. Dante was right in some ways, and so was everyone else. Hell used to be a cold, cold place, but now it’s been commercialised. Whatever the demons dreamt up centuries ago was never enough for reality.’
Kieran laughs and there’s compassion in his eyes, a yearning. I’m not buying it.
‘We hate and we kill and we screw around with our lives and I want to change that.’ There’s anger now. That’s more like it. ‘I want to bring some order and justice to the underworld. I want to see the people who don’t get any rights fight back against the system and get some recompense for a change. I don’t want this reality to be this reality!’
‘You become the system and they’ll fight back against you,’ I tell him. ‘Save the speeches for the patsies who’ll buy it. Why the watch? Why Hell? Who was the monk? That’s all I’m asking.’ I blow a plume of smoke in his face. ‘For now.’
‘Time for a history lesson,’ says Kieran, and suddenly we’re stuck in a dusty classroom wreathed in cobwebs. Kieran slams his hand against a chalkboard and dust puffs out. ‘The watch has always been and always will be, passed on from person to person. Most people use and discard. Most people, like yourself, have no idea what kind of power they hold in their hands. Most people—’
‘This is getting to be a speech, Kieran,’ I say. ‘Can it and move on to the facts.’
‘The watch was never invented,’ he tells us. ‘It just exists, forever—no beginning and no end. The monk was one of the keepers of the watch, charged with making sure it didn’t get in to the hands of mortals. Every few thousand years someone would come along and manage to acquire it—some people say with the monk’s blessing—and use it as a gateway to the netherworld to check on the battle between good and evil. Or at least that’s what the brochure said.’
Kieran stalks forward and faces me down.
‘You managed to change things, Fury.’ Kieran stares at me intently. ‘You managed to change it. No one has ever done that before. You went into Hell and you ripped it a new one. You got Chicago in power and Bob, the true ruler of Hell, is a happy creature. Good and evil are no longer in conflict. That, my friend, is a very serious state of affairs.’
‘You’re still missing a question, smart guy,’ I say. ‘Why Hell? Why you?’
‘Because the world as we know it will collapse and die without the eternal struggle being eternal. The metaphorical forces battling for the lives of man are no longer at war. If I can get into Hell, I can restore that disorder and continue the battle, and the world will not collapse. I can’t get there by my own means, but the watch can take me there.’
‘Sounds like a bunch of baloney.’ I exhale smoke. ‘What’s in it for me?’
‘You can rule by my side.’
‘I’m not anyone’s stooge,’ I tell him. ‘I work for myself and no one else. Give me something tangible.’
‘Money?’
‘I earn enough.’
‘Power?’
‘What would I need power for, Kieran?’ I laugh at him and shake my head, scanning the room. No point running if this moron can change reality. ‘It only leads to trouble.’
‘Women?’
‘I had a wife once,’ I say. ‘That’s why I’m working double time. Try again.’
‘Fame.’
‘You’re running out of options.’ I stand up. ‘Come up with something and we might be talking.’
‘What do you want, Joe?’ Kieran asks, lost. ‘Just tell me.’
‘I want to close this case, bring you in, and get on with my life.’
‘Deal.’ Kieran speaks before he thinks and I clap the cuffs on him with a smile.
‘My pleasure,’ I tell him.
‘Rats,’ he mutters, sinking his head. ‘Rats and worms.’
‘You’re coming with me, tough guy.’ I grab him by the collar and start marching him towards the door of the classroom, hoping the bluff works. Sue falls into step behind me. ‘Preston might not want you, but we can stick you in the diner Chicago owns and something tells me you’ll have trouble getting out. After all, that’s his jurisdiction, not yours.’
‘Rats and worms!’ Kieran’s voice is getting louder. ‘Rats and worms! Rats and worms!’
I push him out of the door and into the dusty street. It should be an easy ride out of the zone, but Kieran’s got his stooges waiting in one big wall right in front of us. All teeth, eyes and nasty smiles.
‘Over there!’ Sue jerks a thumb to a monster truck with a mini-gun on the back that’s parked close by. I yank Kieran forward and we’re off.
Sue jumps in the back and even before I’m in and gunning the engine she swings the mini-gun into action, tearing into the creatures as they surge forward.
‘You’ll never get out of here, Fury,’ snarls Kieran.
‘That’s not the point,’ I tell him, as we tear through the crowd and towards the main gates of the compound. ‘I’ve got friends on the other side.’
‘Chicago can’t get in here!’ shrieks Kieran. ‘He’s barred!’
‘Whoever said it was Chicago.’ And I wedge a grenade onto the accelerator and aim the truck for the compound gates.
‘Now!’ I yell to Sue, and she leaps out of the truck. I jump clear with Kieran in tow, and we hit the ground and roll. The monster truck slams into the compound g
ates and goes up in a blistering fireball, blowing creatures everywhere. The gates are torn in two, twisted steel flying.
Then the ninja chickens arrive.
ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN
It’s one big mess of feathers and kung fu as they stream through the blasted compound gates. It starts with a scuffle and some clucking and suddenly Justice, the head chicken, is punching his way through the demonic mass followed by his league of chickens, all armed to the teeth and ready for action.
‘Thought you might need some help,’ he chuckles.
‘How did you know where we are?’ I yell.
‘The fork Ginger gave you,’ shouts Justice. ‘It sent us a signal and led us to the compound. It wouldn’t work unless it was close to Kieran. He might think he runs reality, but there’s been plenty of people plotting his downfall for a long time now!’
‘You can’t get in here!’ screams Kieran. ‘It’s impossible!’
Justice snaps him a glance. ‘Time to meet your maker.’
‘I am my maker!’ shouts Kieran, and he rips himself out of my grip. Suddenly he’s swamped by the crowd of demons and creatures and flying feathers.
‘He won’t get far.’ Justice takes a step forward and then stops. ‘Oh crap!’
Kieran’s doubling in size with each step, sucking in everything around him. Parts of buildings tear towards him and slam into his body, and he ripples and mutates and grows.
People and chickens try to run, but his force draws them closer and sucks them in. His body bulges and juts out with arms and heads and legs. And they’re all screaming.
Justice takes another step towards him but it’s too late.
Kieran spins and flexes, his massive hands balled into fists. ‘I am my maker!’ he screams again, as the forces of Hell explode into the compound.
ONE HUNDRED AND TWELVE
Justice and his league of ninja chickens steel themselves. This is going to be a tough one.
Kieran lets out an unearthly shriek and his minions—those that aren’t part of him—come streaming out of the buildings. The two sides engage and the ground shakes. Justice takes a step towards Kieran and Kieran takes a step towards Justice and the two clash in a thunderous roar.
Justice right hooks him, but Kieran’s a dirty fighter. The heads in his torso start to bite, and Justice feels it. He crashes down a wing and crushes a few heads, the craniums popping. Kieran slams razor sharp fingernails into Justice’s side and starts to tear downwards, ripping him open.
Justice staggers back, gasping, and swings for Kieran, but Kieran catches his wing and crushes his feathers. It’s not looking good.
Sue jacks back the slide on the Uzi, but there’s no clear shot. ‘Damn.’
‘Kieran’s stronger than all of us,’ I say. ‘We need something drastic.’ And a legion of zombies burst into the fray from the outside world.
Justice jabs a wing tip at Kieran. ‘Zombies! Attack!’ They do, streaming over the ground towards him, swarming up his legs and tearing solid chunks out of his skin. But the more of him they remove, the more he sucks in his followers, building in mass and size as he crushes Justice’s wing. He roars in victory and fury, heaving Justice into the air.
Justice uses his other wing to kung fu a breather for himself, and falls down beside us in a mass of feathers. But he’s not ready for the hot pot yet.
‘That’s not helping,’ I yell to Justice. ‘We need something bigger.’
‘It’s just a temporary diversion,’ he shouts back. ‘Something to slow him down so we can use this.’ He turns, pointing to a giant helicopter gun ship which lands behind us. ‘Time for the big guns.’ And I swear there’s a smile on his beak.
ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN
We’re in and up, Justice at the controls. Sue swings out the machine gun and I just smoke and take it easy.
‘This has been coming for a long time,’ says Justice, and he sweeps the gun ship round and starts firing, tearing rockets into Kieran’s head. The side of his skull explodes and he staggers sideways.
Justice pulls the gun ship around for another go and bullets rake across Kieran’s body. He swipes for us, but Justice is too quick, ripping the gun ship into a tight turn, the hand missing by inches. Justice spins the helicopter around and lets loose another flurry of missiles. They tear into Kieran, blowing chunks out of his deformed chest, ripping him open. But more bodies slam into him as he loses parts. He buckles and stands up again, and he’s twice the size he was before.
‘We need something more serious!’ I yell at Justice. A brace of tanks smash through the fighting hordes and head straight for Kieran, guns blazing.
The shells explode into him and knock him back. Fighter jets and more gun ships stream out of the sky. Now everyone’s firing, missiles and shells pouring in towards Kieran as he ripples and mutates and tries to fight back against us. The overwhelming firepower knocks Kieran back and down, but people are still getting sucked into him, and the world is filled with the sound of the masses screaming.
‘It’s working!’ Justice goes in for the kill and there’s so much smoke and fire that Kieran gets lost in it. We stream through and see something large and ungainly thrashing, but it’s just a vague figure.
Justice pulls up and we wait for the smoke to clear. It doesn’t take long. And Kieran’s not there. There’s a lot of blood and a hole in the ground.
‘He’s gone underground.’ Justice sets the gun ship down. ‘He can’t stay there for long.’
A giant arm bursts out of the ground and picks up one of the tanks, crushing it. Metal buckles and the shells inside the tank explode in a raging fireball, but the hand is unmarked.
‘Scramble!’ Justice shrieks into the headset. He tries to take off, but the hand slams into us and knocks us spinning.
ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN
The ’copter crashes into the ground and sheds the three of us like an old skin. I’m up with the cannon out and over to Sue.
‘You okay?’
She nods, whips out her Uzi and looks very pissed off. ‘It’s time for some personal payback.’
The jets stream missiles at the ground, but Kieran’s giant fist punches through the earth and takes them out, crushing them in a blossoming fireball. The fingers of the hand uncurl and blot out the sun, then the hand slams down towards us.
I start popping off shots and Sue rakes the Uzi left and right, punching bloody holes in the skin, but it’s too big and too tough for us.
Justice steps out of the wreckage with a rocket launcher. He kneels, fires, and sends a missile hurtling towards the hand, blowing off one of the fingers. But it’s not enough.
I fire round after round into the hand, then I whip out the watch. ‘Let’s negotiate.’
The hand stops, inches from our heads. The mist swirls around us and Kieran’s standing there, good as new, normal size, brushing flecks of dirt off his clothes and looking smug, surrounded by a wall of fire, wreckage and body parts.
‘So you decided to see sense?’ he says.
‘I don’t have a choice.’ I snap open a pack of cigars and spark one up, drawing the smoke in deep. ‘You’re proving to be a bit of a problem.’
‘Only for those who cause me trouble.’ Kieran snaps his fingers and suddenly we’re sitting in leather chairs. The wreckage still burns around us, but at least it’s more comfortable.
‘You see what I can do with reality?’ Kieran looks pleased with himself. ‘You see why I need to take over Hell and bring some order to it?’
‘Yeah, you’re keeping this place looking peachy,’ I sneer. ‘What do I get in return for the watch?’
‘You don’t want power, fame, money or women. What do you want?’
‘I want an endless bottle of whisky, a pack of Havanas that never runs out, a tank of gas which never empties for my shark, and a bit of peace and quiet around this joint. That’s the deal.’
Kieran pauses for a moment and then nods. ‘Certainly.’
I hold up the watch. �
�And I don’t want to see your ugly face around my patch any more, capiche?’
‘Of course.’
‘You can have it.’
Justice runs forward. ‘Fury, no!’
‘I don’t have a choice,’ I tell him, and move the watch towards Kieran. He hesitates, uncertain of the power, then smiles and puts his hand out. I drop the watch in.
‘It’s mine,’ he gloats. ‘All mine.’
‘Just one more question,’ I say.
‘Fire away.’
‘Why couldn’t you just take it off me?’
‘The watch has to be handed over willingly, or else the recipient dies,’ says Kieran.
I stand up and move over to Sue. Kieran smiles at us, and his look turns evil.
‘I’m afraid we have a problem, Mr Fury.’ Kieran sits back, twirling the watch in his fingers. ‘I lied.’
‘I figured as much.’
‘Now there is no end to what I can do. Now the world and the heavens and Hell will all bow down to me. Now I will rule the very nature of reality.’
‘Nice speech,’ I mutter, puffing on the cigar and pulling out the cannon. ‘Now let’s see if you can outsmart this bullet.’
Sue snatches a look at me and I nod.
And everything switches into slow motion.
Kieran’s finger comes down on the stop watch just as I pull the trigger.
The bullet explodes from the barrel of the cannon in a stream of sparks and smoke and sails towards the watch.
The instant Kieran’s finger clicks the button the bullet smashes the watch.
And time.
Crawls.
To a stop.
Kieran doesn’t even have time to scream before he disappears.
And it’s over.
ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN
Justice wanders over to me as I re-light the Havana. ‘What happened?’ he asks.
‘Kieran won’t be messing around with reality anymore,’ I tell him. ‘He’s trapped in time. Forever. Frozen. He can’t fix the watch, so he’s stuck in Hell with Chicago’s boys, unable to move. At least, that’s what I figure.’
Joe Fury and the Hard Death Page 16