He’d had other thoughts, too. Thoughts he hadn’t been able to articulate, yet they continued to haunt both his waking hours and his dreams.
Opening his eyes, he sat forward again. Maybe Sarah could figure out what he was doing wrong on the computer.
He found Sarah in the living room, sitting on the couch, her legs curled up under her, reading her Bible.
Kurt felt a stab of…what? Envy? Or regret that she was so comfortable with her faith and he had lost his?
He cleared his throat. “Excuse me. I hate to bother you.”
Keeping her place, she looked up and smiled. “No bother. What do you need?”
“A computer guru, or at least someone who can help me print out copies of my statement to the county and backup material for tomorrow’s hearing.”
She used a blue ribbon to mark the page where she’d been reading and closed the Bible, setting it on the end table. “That shouldn’t be a problem. Let me see what I can do.”
In his office, she sat in his chair. Kurt stood behind her, peering over her shoulder at the computer screen as she worked. He’d noticed lately that her hair had a faint scent of citrus. A surprisingly provocative fragrance that made him think of fresh laundry hanging on an old-fashioned clothesline blowing in a breeze. A fragrance he wanted to capture and put in a bottle so he could enjoy it morning, noon and night.
“How many of these exhibits do you want to print out?” she asked.
“Five of them, plus my statement. I’ve been trying to combine them into one file but I keep messing up. I get seven copies of my statement and nothing else.”
“Okay.” Her slender fingers flew over the keyboard, switching from file to file. Her fingernails were short and, despite the gardening she’d been doing lately, well trimmed.
“There, I think I’ve got it.” She looked up and he could see the reflection of the overhead light in her blue eyes. “Would you like me to print out one copy to see if I’ve got it right?”
“Sure.” He forced the word past the tightness in his throat.
She held his gaze for a moment, and he had the uncanny urge to stroke her cheek with his fingertips, to feel the softness of her flesh. In the weeks that she’d been here, the Montana sun had deepened the color of her skin from creamy-smooth to a ripe, golden peach he hungered to touch.
She blinked and broke eye contact, turning back to the computer. A few more keystrokes and the printer started to spit out sheets of paper.
Forcing himself to step away, to distance himself from the scent of citrus he found so enticing, Kurt retrieved the papers from the printer as they appeared.
Nodding, he glanced through the presentation. Everything he wanted seemed to be there. “I don’t know what I was doing wrong or what you did, but this looks good.”
“Wasn’t too hard, really. I just started over and moved everything into a new file. You want me to print out the rest of the copies?”
“That’d be great. Thanks.” He sat on the edge of the desk as the printer went to work again. “All I have to do tomorrow is convince our honorable commissioners that Western Region has a history of messing up the environment wherever they operate a feeding program. Therefore, they shouldn’t be granted a permit on my neighbor’s property.”
“You can do it. I’m sure you can. You’ll make a good case, they’ll see that.”
Kurt wasn’t so sure. The three county commissioners had a lot of contacts in the business community as well as ranching. Sometimes it was hard to know which way the wind would blow.
An inspiration struck him, a way to spend the better part of the day with Sarah. “How ’bout you coming along tomorrow to give me moral support? Western Region is bound to bring their big guns in to counter my arguments. It’d be nice to know someone there was on my side.”
She pondered his question a moment. “I’d like to come, but what about the children? Who’d keep an eye on them?”
“Maybe they can arrange to hang out with one of their friends.”
“All right.” She seemed pleased with that arrangement. “They can call their friends first thing in the morning. If it all works out, I’ll come along to be your cheering section.”
Feeling like a kid who’d been granted his deepest wish, Kurt nearly pumped his fist in the air.
The county commissioners met in the county health department conference room at noon. The room had seating for fewer than fifty people and was only half full when Sarah and Kurt arrived. Kurt handed copies of his statement and backup materials to the clerk, and they found chairs near the front.
Sarah had worn the one quasi-business outfit she’d brought along, a straight gray skirt, white blouse and navy blazer. From her perspective, Kurt looked quite dashing in his yoked Western shirt with a bolo tie, slacks and dressy boots.
Kurt leaned toward her. “Those three guys in pin-stripe suits have to be from Western Region, probably from the Cheyenne headquarters.” He gestured toward the men in the front row. “I’m betting attorneys.”
Sarah agreed, though she thought they had the look of hatchet men rather than members of the bar. Anxiety knotted in her stomach. She didn’t want Kurt to lose his case.
As the meeting got under way, she studied the three county commissioners, all of them slightly overweight, as if they’d spent too much time on the chicken-and-pea-dinner speaking circuit with their constituents. Dressed casually, they wore no jackets or ties and had rolled their shirtsleeves up. She sensed they’d all grown up around Shelby and knew almost everyone in the county.
She hoped their local ties to community paid off for Kurt, not for the big out-of-town moneyed interests.
The commission chairman announced, “The next item of business is a request for a feed lot permit on property owned by Ezra Stone and leased to Western Region Cattle Feeding.” He looked toward the three businessmen in the front row. “We’ll hear from Western Region first. Then, if there are any objections, we’ll allow time for those.”
The company representative who stood at the podium was smooth, Sarah had to give him that.
With a professional PowerPoint presentation, he covered all the economic benefits to the community that would flow from issuing a permit for the feed lot, including increased taxes to the county and employment opportunities. He failed to mention any negatives about the company’s past performance and frequent violations of environmental regulations.
When the gentleman completed his remarks and sat down, Kurt whispered, “How do I beat a pro like that? He made it sound like Western Region is as pure as a summer sunrise.”
She squeezed his hand. “You beat him with the facts, Kurt. You know they’ll destroy your land. Tell the commissioners the truth.”
He took a deep breath, walked to the podium and introduced himself.
As he spoke, a sense of pride grew in Sarah’s chest. He was forceful without being confrontational. He cited case after case where Western Region had failed in their obligations to the land owners and the communities.
When Kurt thanked the commissioners for their attention, Sarah knew he would have convinced her of the truth. Now it was up to the three elected officials sitting at the front of the conference room.
The one on the right spoke up. “My dad and grand-dad ran cattle over Sweet Grass Valley way. Water was always a problem. They dug more dry wells than I care to remember.” He glanced pointedly at the three company representatives. “From what Mr. Ryder has told us, chances are pretty near one hundred percent your operation on Stone’s land would pollute Ryder’s water table and make a whole section of his land unusable for cattle.”
He turned to the commission chairman. “Peter, un less we get a whole lot more assurances and oversight for their operation, I have to vote against issuing the permit.”
Sarah grabbed Kurt’s arm. He’d done it! He’d convinced the commissioners—
“Aren’t you convicting Western Region before they’ve committed any crime?” the commissioner on the left said. “
We sure could use the increase in taxes they’d pay and the jobs they’d bring into the county.”
Air escaped Sarah’s lungs. She wanted to leap to her feet and tell the commissioner he couldn’t do that. Couldn’t vote for granting the permit that would ruin Kurt’s land.
The commission chairman tapped his gavel to quiet the murmured comments buzzing around the room.
“Looks like it’s up to me to break the tie,” he said.
“In all honesty, I’m surprised our county staff didn’t research Western Region more carefully. Mr. Ryder took the time to discover their feed-lot business practices, and I’m grateful he did.”
Kurt took Sarah’s hand. “Should I tell ’em it was you?”
She gave a quick shake of her head, pleased he wanted her to share the credit for the report he’d put together.
“But knowing that now,” the chairman continued,
“means I can’t, in good conscience, vote to approve the permit with its present parameters.”
Yes! Sarah grinned at Kurt.
“If you gentlemen would like to resubmit your re quest, I’d suggest you build in plenty of government oversight and mitigating measures so that Mr. Ryder’s property is not negatively impacted. We’ll take a vote now.”
The roll call went as expected. Kurt won, two-to-one.
As soon as they could make their exit, Kurt hustled Sarah out of the meeting room and to his truck. The sun beating down on the vehicle had turned the truck cab into an oven. Kurt turned on the air conditioner. Sitting sideways facing her, his smile was as broad as a Montana sky.
“We did it,” he said. “You did it. Without you—”
“You were magnificent. They couldn’t vote against you, not after they learned the truth.”
His eyes lasered in on hers. Her heart rate skipped a beat as he leaned forward. She felt herself moving toward him. Wanting him closer. Wanting…
His lips covered hers, at first tentative then with more feeling. She responded in kind. Emotion rose in her chest. And joy. It felt so right, so perfect, to be kissing Kurt.
He reminded her of the great outdoors, a combination of rugged individualism and masculine pride. The sensation sent her head spinning and her heart pounding. Her breathing labored and she felt as though she was standing on a high mountain where the air was too thin to sustain any rational thought.
His fingertips caressed her cheek. She threaded her fingers through his hair, the strands damp from the heat of the day.
When he finally broke the kiss, she inhaled deeply. Her body trembled.
“I’ve been wanting to do that since the picnic.” His hoarse voice was barely a whisper.
“You have?” She’d been thinking similar thoughts but hadn’t dared to pursue them.
“Yeah.” He hooked a few strands of her hair behind her ear. “We make a good team, Sarah.”
She smiled. “You go into battle and I’m your backup.”
“More than that. Much more.” He touched his lips to hers again, a brief kiss that sent shivers of desire through her body. “I’ve been thinking…” He hesitated, visibly searching for the words he wanted. “I think you and I…I know this isn’t the most romantic place for this, or maybe not even the right time, but I’ve developed feelings for you. I think we might have a future together.”
Shock snapped her head back. A future? Together? She hadn’t expected, hadn’t dared to hope, had only dreamed he might…
And yet she knew in her soul, a painful reality, that a future with Kurt was an impossibility. Not that she hadn’t grown to care about him. Maybe even love him. But there was one obstacle she couldn’t ignore.
“I’m sorry, Kurt. So very sorry.” Tears of regret, of longing, burned in her eyes. “I don’t think that’s possible.”
Chapter Eleven
Like a horse that had kicked him in the ribs, Sarah’s rejection of him drove the air from Kurt’s lungs. His chest ached. Drawing a single breath took all of his strength.
“You don’t have to decide now.” His throat tightened, making the words sound ragged to his own ears as he backtracked to save face. He wasn’t going to beg. “My timing’s off. I shouldn’t have rushed you.”
“That’s not why I don’t think it will work.” She raised her hand as though to touch his face, then dropped her hand back to her lap.
“I know we haven’t known each other long.” He’d grown up with Zoe. Why would he expect any woman to agree to marry him when they’d only met a few weeks ago? “I can wait. We’ll spend more time together getting to know each other better. I care for you, Sarah. Very much. I think you care about me.”
Her eyes softened, glistening with new tears. “I do care about you, Kurt.”
“And you get along great with my kids. It was a little rough there at first with Beth, but she’s come along.”
“Your children are wonderful. You’re very lucky to have them. I envy you.”
He shifted his position and stared out the windshield. Ripples of heat rose off the asphalt parking lot. Disappointment and a sense of futility weighed his spirit down like someone had handed him an anvil to carry.
“I guess I understand why you wouldn’t want to live on the Rocking R permanently. It’s okay for a summer maybe, but I imagine you’re already missing city life.” Zoe had, and she’d never lived anywhere except Sweet Grass Valley.
“That’s not why I don’t think that us as a couple is a good idea.”
He turned his head. “Okay, then why not?”
“My faith is extremely important to me, Kurt. I’m sure you’re aware I read my Bible and go to church whenever I can.”
“Hey, that’s fine by me. I’d never stop you from going to church or whatever you wanted to do. I didn’t stop Beth when she wanted to go, did I?”
“No, you didn’t. But I believe in marriage both the husband and wife should share the same faith in the Lord. You’ve lost your faith, Kurt.”
A muscle clenched in his jaw and he gripped the steering wheel with both hands. “So what if I’ve lost my faith in God? I have my reasons. But if it’s that important to you, I’ll go to church with you.”
“It’s not the same,” she said, her tone filled with a regret he couldn’t understand. “I’m sorry.”
“Then I guess there’s no point in talking about it.”
When she remained silent, he cranked the key and headed home. No point at all.
After a few days, Sarah knew something had to change.
Kurt had been avoiding her. That hurt almost more than she could bear. She ached with the loss of his presence, his deep voice, the quick flash of his smile. His rare moments of laughter.
The memory of his kiss tormented her.
She prayed for a miracle, for God to take matters into his own hands. To touch Kurt’s heart.
When that didn’t happen, she went about her business of caring for his children. Caring for them when they were at home, which wasn’t all that often.
Friday rolled around. She took Dr. Zoom to the hospital to entertain the children. That evening she served the family a chicken-and-noodle casserole, whole-wheat bread and a fresh green salad for dinner.
She couldn’t let this tension between her and Kurt continue any longer. With a little extra effort, she thought she could break through the wall he’d built around himself and do something good for the children at the same time.
She sat down at the table, bowed her head for a silent grace, then looked up.
“It seems to me you two children spend a lot of your time at your friends’ houses.” She glanced at Toby and Beth. “I think it would be a nice idea if you reciprocated by having a party for them here at the ranch.”
Kurt frowned at her from across the table, but said nothing.
“What kind of a party?” Toby asked. “It’s not anybody’s birthday.”
“It doesn’t need to be a special occasion. You invite your friends and I can help you organize games. Maybe a treasure hunt in the
barn. Or some sort of riding contest. You’d get to pick.”
“One time at Billy’s he had a blindfolded calf-roping contest. Most of the guys fell off their horses and the calves got away.”
That sounded a little dangerous to Sarah, but she let it go for the moment.
“Beth, do you think your friends would enjoy face painting? I could get extra supplies and show them a few tricks. Then you could paint each other’s faces.”
The girl perked up. “Yeah, they’d like it better than blind calf roping.”
“None of her dumb friends are gonna paint my face,” Toby announced.
“They wouldn’t want to, gopher boy,” Beth countered in a teasing voice.
Sarah swallowed a laugh. “Toby, you could entertain everyone with your ventriloquism. How does that sound?” She’d helped Toby create a sock dummy with a big red mouth, a purple tongue hanging out and green button eyes, which he named Mervyn the Monster.
He shrunk down in his chair. “That sounds scary. I’ve never shown anybody—”
“You’re becoming quite skilled, Toby. I think you’re ready for prime time.”
He shrugged, then shoveled two quick bites of casserole into his mouth. “Okay,” he mumbled. “But you gotta do Dr. Zoom, too. I’m not gonna get up in front of the guys all alone.”
Sarah was happy to agree to that condition. “We can serve watermelon, ice cream and cake—”
“I think Nana would make a cake for us,” Beth said.
“Dad’s got a hand-cranked ice-cream maker we used to use a lot,” Toby offered. “If you can get that out, Dad, the guys will crank the wheel.”
“Good idea, son.” Although Kurt had remained silent until now, he seemed to be on board with the party idea.
They set the date for a week from Saturday.
The following morning shortly after breakfast, Sarah heard banging and clanking on the back porch. She followed the noise to find out what was going on.
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