Ari, who should be stepping backward and keeping a cool head, curled her fingers into the fabric of Assistant’s tunic. Assistant, who seemed so cautious, tightened her grip around Ari’s waist.
“Am I so lowly?” Assistant asked. “Unworthy to touch the great Lord Geiker’s daughter?”
Ari looked up at her in horror. Assistant stared back, the ice in her blue eyes again, even though she didn’t loosen her arms.
“No!” Ari said. “Are you serious?” Assistant couldn’t really believe that. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what?”
With Assistant’s grip on her so strong, with her eyes so forceful, it seemed absurd for Ari to say, “I’m supposed to protect you.” She said it anyway.
Assistant’s eyes widened. The icy look vanished at once. And though Ari had surprised Assistant many times by now, the expression that took over her face went beyond that—it seemed to be true shock.
“Well, it’s true,” Ari mumbled. “I told you before.”
Assistant said slowly, “Let me see if I understand this. You are protecting me from having sex with you.”
Put like that, it sounded ridiculous, but that wasn’t what was really at stake. Ari lifted her chin and tried not to look at Assistant’s mouth. It might weaken her resolve. Surely any second she’d be able to wiggle out of Assistant’s grip, too, away from her body. She licked her dry lips.
Assistant saw it, and her nostrils flared.
Ari said, “It’s a power thing, isn’t it? I’m taking advantage of you. It’d be wrong. What if you ever felt like you couldn’t say no?”
Assistant stared at her.
“I mean, you could.” A breathless, nervous giggle escaped Ari before she could stop it. “You probably know you could. But that doesn’t mean…”
Assistant finally let go of Ari. She let go of her so she could start laughing so hard she had to bend over and put her hands on her knees.
Ari looked up at the leaves over her head and fought back a sudden surge of fury. Assistant was laughing at her about something so important? She didn’t take this seriously at all, when what had happened last night meant everything to Ari?
“Cut it out!”
“I just need a moment,” Assistant wheezed. She waved her hand and straightened back up, her pale skin flushed with amusement. Her eyes sparkled.
Ari had never seen her laugh before. Why did it have to be under these circumstances?
“Ariana,” Assistant said, “the day you can force me into your bed is the day—” She paused and shook her head. “I honestly can’t think of anything. It’s not going to happen.”
She spoke with as much certainty as if she’d been describing the orbit of the space station around Exer. Just a fact, nothing more.
“You’re here because you’re forced to be here.” The words created a chill deep in Ari’s chest. “I know that.”
Assistant blinked. Her amusement disappeared at once. They looked at each other, and Ari shifted miserably from foot to foot. Maybe she’d just cut herself off from those wonderful feelings she’d known last night, but she had to do it, just as she’d had to go to her father and ask for Assistant’s freedom.
Why was doing the right thing so painful? Shouldn’t she feel virtuous and secure in her decisions?
Then, to her surprise, Assistant reached out and gently brushed away a stray lock of hair from Ari’s face.
Ari’s breath caught.
“You are very kind.” Assistant’s voice had softened, as if in wonder. “And you feel things so deeply. Most of the time it seems like a stiff breeze might knock you over, but then—” She shook her head again and drew her knuckles down Ari’s cheek. She’d done that last night, but today it felt different, and it made Ari feel different, too: flush with a new kind of heat, something deeper that went all the way to her heart. “Then you surprise me.”
Ari’s hands were trembling. So were her knees. If Assistant took her in her arms again, she’d be a lot less likely to collapse. “You surprise me, too,” she whispered.
“I’m sure.” Assistant’s lips quirked. “You’re not forcing me into this. Or into anything else.” Assistant stepped in closer.
Ari’s peripheral vision began to blur.
“Would you like me to prove it?” Assistant asked.
Not a trace of the ice in her eyes remained. Now there was only fire, burning even hotter than it had last night, as if what Ari had said only aroused her more. When Assistant had that look on her face, it didn’t matter what she’d asked, because the blood was buzzing too loudly in Ari’s ears for her to hear. Her fingers and toes were tingling, and the hot ache between her legs had returned. There was only one answer.
“Yes,” she breathed.
“Wonderful.” Assistant put her arms around Ari again and slid her fingertips up and down Ari’s spine, burning Ari’s skin even through the cotton of her nightgown. “Truly wonderful.” Her eyes gleamed. “You said there was a lot to do today.”
“Uh…” Had Ari said that? The last few minutes were already kind of fuzzy.
“You were right. There is a great deal still to do.” She brushed her lips lightly over Ari’s cheek. “It will take me a very long time to get to all of it.” She kissed Ari’s shoulder. “Because I will do a very, very thorough job.”
“Oh.” Ari’s knees did, in fact, buckle.
It didn’t faze Assistant in the slightest. She just tightened her arms around Ari’s waist and chuckled. “Well, now is as good a time as any to begin.”
Ari sure wasn’t objecting. When Assistant touched her like this, any time would be a good time.
Still, while Assistant was obviously great at this, Ari still had no idea what to do. At least Assistant already knew that and wouldn’t expect her to be an expert. She raised her face and pressed her lips to Assistant’s.
Assistant inhaled sharply and showed no hesitation at all when she kissed Ari back. Ari gasped, too. Assistant’s mouth seemed to take possession of hers, hungry and made of desire. She slid one hand up from Ari’s back and into Ari’s hair, taking hold of it and keeping Ari in place as if to make sure she couldn’t run away.
Why would anyone want to run away from this? One kiss and Ari was already panting, her nipples as hard as they’d been last night, the sweet pulsing between her legs stronger than ever.
“Oh yes.” Assistant kissed her again. “Now.”
“Now,” Ari said vaguely, just because it was a word that she remembered and could say.
“How about here?” Assistant pressed Ari against a tree trunk. “Up against your favorite oak?” She licked at the side of Ari’s neck. “Or down in the dirt with your favorite little seedlings?” Her hand wandered up and down Ari’s side while Ari trembled and gasped. “It doesn’t matter. I will have you in both places. I’ll have you everywhere in these rooms.” She licked again and sounded almost playful as she whispered, “Because it is my will. And I shall have my will.”
That seemed like an odd thing to say in a moment like this, although it was also oddly appealing. I shall have my will. A note in Assistant’s voice made that sound so inevitable, and like something Ari didn’t want to resist.
“I’d like that,” she murmured, feeling more daring than she ever had before.
Assistant went still against her for just a moment. Then, next thing Ari knew, the clasp that held straps of her nightgown popped open beneath Assistant’s nimble fingers. The straps went slack, and the nightgown fell open to reveal Ari’s breasts to Assistant’s hungry gaze.
Ari gasped and fought a sudden urge to pull away. Her pale skin was flushed, her nipples were tight, and this was different from last night, when they’d been in the dark and no clothes had come off. Now Assistant could see her. How could Ari have known what it would feel like to be so exposed? What if Assistant thought her body was ugly or something? She was so perfect herself that—
Assistant bent and put her mouth on Ari’s breast.
Ari arched up, expandi
ng and rising even as she grabbed Assistant’s hair and clutched her tight, to hold her there because she couldn’t ever stop doing this. For once, Assistant allowed the touch. In fact, she gave a pleased hum that vibrated against Ari’s flesh and somehow made everything more. More intense, more powerful, when that should have been impossible. Every kiss and lick made Ari’s breasts ache as they’d done last night when Assistant had teased them through her nightgown.
“That’s so good,” Ari heard her own voice saying—panting, really. “It’s so good.”
Assistant pulled away just long enough to chuckle, her breath a hot rush against Ari’s wet flesh. “Ariana…I’m just getting started.”
She meant it. Assistant’s tongue on her nipples was alternately soft and rough, and her perfect teeth nipped and bit and tugged until Ari was practically crying. She’d never known that pleasure could make you cry.
Assistant switched back and forth between her breasts, her hot breath on Ari’s skin. Sweat beaded on her temples, and her hair grew damp beneath Ari’s hands. Her fingertips dug into Ari’s back as she held her close.
When Ari’s knees gave up completely, Assistant bore her down to the ground and, true to her word, had her among the seedlings. She covered Ari’s body with her own, cupped and squeezed her wet, aching breasts, kissed her mouth. “Beautiful,” she panted. “So ready for this. I knew you would be, I knew—”
“You kn-knew—” Ari arched her head back again as Assistant bit down on her collarbone.
“The moment I saw you in that red dress.” Assistant laughed softly. “And I was right.” Once again, she slid her thigh in between Ari’s. “Wasn’t I?” Once again, she raised Ari’s hips to meet her. “Now.”
Just like last time, it worked, and Ari obeyed Assistant, quaking and gasping her way through a feeling that was as much relief as it was pleasure when the wave finally broke. By the time she was done, she was too breathless even to moan.
She had to hold on to Assistant while she got her breath back, craving that comfort from the same woman who had just driven her half-crazy. Assistant’s muscles were firm beneath her hands, more than strong enough to hold Ari together as she collected herself. Maybe it really was laughable to say Assistant needed protection.
She held Ari for a few moments, nuzzling contentedly at her hair and temple. Then she said, “Breakfast, I think.”
“Oh,” Ari whispered. “Okay.” Then she remembered something Assistant had said a few minutes before, something that had nearly escaped her notice in the haze of passion. “This isn’t my favorite oak tree.”
Assistant stopped nuzzling and pulled back, looking at Ari with a frown. “I beg your pardon?”
“I said, he’s not my favorite oak tree.” Ari pointed at another tree ten feet away. “She is.” Then she reached out and apologetically patted the trunk. “Sorry,” she murmured.
Assistant stared at her. “What difference does it make?”
Ari stared right back. “What difference…?” Then she realized she was half-naked, and struggled to sit up, covering her breasts again. “Yes, it makes a difference! You know that.” If Assistant didn’t understand that, after all this time, then…then who would, besides Ari?
Assistant rolled her eyes as she rose to her feet. “I do apologize for forgetting your favorite tree.” She reached down and pulled Ari up with one hand. Then she smiled slyly and leaned in again.
“No,” Ari said, before she could change her mind, and turned her face away. “I’m getting a shower.”
“What?”
“I feel dirty,” Ari said, and brushed herself down. “And I’m not supposed to eat while I’m dirty. That’s your rule.”
“‘Dirty’?” Assistant looked outraged. “You crawl around on the ground every day, and you’re saying—”
“I’m getting a shower,” Ari repeated, and headed for the bathroom, feeling sort of cross and upset, even though her body was incredibly happy.
How could another person cause you to feel like this? Physically sated, but emotionally off-kilter? Sure, it wasn’t a big deal that Assistant had forgotten which tree was Ari’s favorite, but to say what difference does it make, like all plants were the same, like it was ridiculous to get attached to them…
And to say it right after she and Ari had gotten as close as it was possible to get. The contrast was too jarring for Ari’s peace of mind. She was glad when Assistant did not try to detain her again.
Her shower didn’t do much to soothe her, and when she returned to the garden, she saw only one set of plates on the table and realized Assistant had eaten breakfast by herself.
~ ~ ~
Assistant left her alone for the rest of the day. They worked together in silence that, only twenty-four hours ago, would have been companionable. And it wasn’t angry today, not exactly, just sort of tense. Tense certainly on Ari’s part. More than once, she heard utter silence coming from Assistant’s part of the garden, instead of the steady thump or motion of tools and earth. And she realized that Assistant was not working because she was watching Ari.
She also realized that they weren’t going to talk about whatever was happening between them unless she brought it up first, and growing coffee beans from her own hair seemed like an easier proposition.
They ate lunch in silence and returned to work. Dinner was a quiet affair as well. It was completely ridiculous, and Ari realized that she was going to start screaming if she didn’t get out of these rooms. So she gave Assistant a hopeful smile and said, “Want to go to the Observatory?”
Assistant looked at her through hooded eyes. It was an expression Ari had never seen on her face before. Not the usual closed watchfulness, nor the predatory gleam of earlier. But all she said was, “No. I’d like to stay here and read. But you should go.”
At her words, Ari had to fight the most childish urge to stamp her foot and say that Assistant had no business telling her what to do or where to go. But if that was how just a few words made her feel, then going to the Observatory by herself might be a better idea. Maybe it would even be easier to wrap her head around this if she wasn’t distracted by Assistant’s presence.
So she nodded hard and said, “Yeah. You, you stay here and rest. We’ve had a busy—” She almost choked. “I’ll, um, download—”
“Newsfeeds,” Assistant said, “please.”
The trip to the Observatory seemed shorter than usual—or perhaps Ari had just been too lost in her thoughts. The place seemed more crowded, too, which was just what she didn’t need tonight. There were families here, parents with children, off-duty soldiers come to enjoy the view.
People who probably had sex all the time and might be able to look at Ari and see the confusion radiating from her face. Best to avoid eye contact.
Ari didn’t quite know what to do in the Observatory without Assistant there. The superintendent was surprised to see her alone, she could tell. But she peered through the telescopes at the same old stars, gazed at the same old star charts, and thought of a million things she could have asked Assistant—who really did know a lot about stars—except Assistant was reading back in their rooms and wasn’t with Ari. And, somehow, she managed to pass two and a half hours in the Observatory without observing much at all.
She returned to their quarters. It was late—Assistant was probably asleep. Sure enough, when the door slid open, everything was dark. Even the little light in the kitchen, which they usually left on, was out. If she turned it on, she’d probably wake Assistant.
Fantastic. Ari hoped she didn’t break any toes while she tried to navigate her silent way to her bedroom. Where she might lock the door, because whatever happened next, she wanted Assistant to knock first. Really, it was just rude to pounce on people in the middle of the night, no matter how thrilling it fe—
Two hot hands snatched her, pressing her tight against an even hotter human body. A mouth like a burning coal pressed hard against her own.
“Oh!” Ari cried, seized with terror, before A
ssistant’s familiar scent and muscled arms told her this was no intruder.
“You certainly took your time.” Assistant began to kiss Ari beneath her ear.
“You startled me,” Ari said, trembling against her. Grabbing her in the dark was a few degrees beyond what had happened in her room last night. It was extra rude, and yet Ari’s knees were knocking together in the good way again, and the familiar heat was spreading through her body. “Don’t…do that.” She was almost positive she meant it.
“If you wish,” Assistant said after a slight pause, and resumed nibbling.
“I can’t see you. I didn’t hear you—”
“I heard you.” Ari felt her lips curve in a smile. Felt the edge of her teeth. “Your steps. Your movements.” Assistant dropped one hand from Ari’s waist to take hold of her arm, and pressed her thumb against the pulse at Ari’s wrist. “And your heartbeat is very loud.” Then her arms slid around Ari’s waist and pressed her in very tight. “I’m sorry if I frightened you.”
The words knocked Ari out of her sensual daze for a second. Assistant never apologized. “You are?”
Assistant did not reply, but trailed her warm, dry lips gently up Ari’s jaw, her cheek, all the way to her forehead. “I have been very patient,” she said. “All day. Don’t you think?”
She kissed Ari’s mouth again, and Ari’s insides filled with heat. She’d never, ever felt anything like what she felt when Assistant touched her. And before she knew it, she’d melted against Assistant, kissing and being kissed, and not thinking about anything at all, for once.
“I couldn’t tell,” she whispered when they came up for air. “I didn’t know what you were thinking.”
Assistant kissed her again. “How could you? You spent the whole day avoiding me.”
“That isn’t tr…” It somehow seemed impossible to lie in the dark. Besides, a note in Assistant’s voice had caught Ari’s attention. “Did it bother you?”
Assistant didn’t say anything for so long that Ari wondered if she should repeat herself. She must have sounded breathless. But then Assistant said gruffly, “I assure you, I can survive for a few hours without constant updates on Paxium-whatever-he-is.”
The Lily and the Crown Page 10