“I expect you could manage, if you cared to learn,” Mír said, giving her a little smile. “I expect you have many surprises left for me yet. Come along.” She took Ari by the arm and led her back to the big, luxurious bedroom. “I know we woke you in the middle of the night. Sleep now.”
Ari stared blankly at the bed. Her bed, now? Or what?
Mír, reading her thoughts, pushed her hair off her forehead again and gave her that same resigned, almost-apologetic smile. “You’ll sleep with me at night,” she said. “Sex or no sex. Again, I’m afraid I absolutely insist on that point.”
Ari glanced at the bed again, and remembered how good it had felt when Assistant’s—Mír’s—arms had wrapped around her every night, and wondered if it would feel quite so good now, after everything that had happened. She could only say, “Mm.”
“I’ll return as soon as I can,” Mír said in a brisk tone. “You have free access to anything in our quarters, although I strongly suggest you don’t try wandering around the ship just yet. There are clothes for you in the closet.” She gestured toward a whole wall of paneled doors.
“Uh…okay.” Ari sat down on the edge of the mattress because her legs were about to give out. Then she looked up again.
Mír was standing in front of her, looking down at her with the same expression she’d often worn as Assistant: puzzled, tender, and curious all at once. In spite of all the rest, it tugged at Ari’s heart, but this was not the time for heart tugging.
Figure this out, Ari ordered yourself, before you pass out, and she managed to say, “Hey, before you go, maybe you could tell me, um, what you’re doing. With taking over the space stations, and…and rebelling…and all.” She blinked. “I mean, when I didn’t know it was you, I thought… But now I don’t know what to think.”
“You haven’t guessed? I’m surprised. We’ll talk more about it later.” Mír brushed out a wrinkle from her gown and swept toward the open door. Then she looked over her shoulder at Ari with a diabolical, little smile. “But don’t you think ‘Empress Mír’ sounds rather…I don’t know, natural?”
Ari’s jaw dropped, but then Mír was gone. Stunned, Ari sat on the mattress, staring at the doorway until she heard the outer door of Mír’s vast chamber open and shut.
Then she stared at the huge bed, in the huge bedroom, adjacent to the hugest room of all, and suddenly felt very tiny and alone. That probably never happened to Mír. This was probably the only place on the ship capable of containing her. Ari staggered to the wall and pressed the button to shut the bedroom door, to close off a little of that enormity. It helped. Some.
More than anything, she felt tired.
She had to think. She couldn’t think. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, she was about to fall over.
How long did she have? Surely meeting Koll wasn’t the sort of thing you could knock out in thirty minutes, no matter how efficient Mír might be. There was an alarm clock by the side of the bed. Ari would allow herself half an hour of rest. No more.
Lacking any other sensible alternative, Ari crawled back into the enormous bed, pulled the covers over her, and fell asleep at once.
CHAPTER 20
When the alarm went off, Ari knew she’d been dreaming, but she couldn’t remember what about. She didn’t think it had been about doorways or stars or anything like that, though. She could have slept for hours more, but there was no time.
Just as if she was getting up for a midnight check on her plants, Ari dragged herself out of Mír’s bed.
Still half-asleep, she got up and stumbled to the adjacent bathroom which, like everything else, was huge. The bathtub could comfortably hold five people. And to think Ari had believed that her own quarters must have been such a revelation for a slave used to serving on tiny pirate ships.
She used the toilet and showered. The hot, pounding spray felt wonderful, and when she was done she felt much more human. She wrapped herself in a towel and wandered back into the bedroom, looking around apprehensively in case Mír had returned during her shower. She hadn’t. Ari relaxed.
More time. She needed more time to collect her thoughts, so she could sort apart the ones that were furious at both herself and Mír from the ones that hoped Mír was safe. How many times, since meeting a woman with dark hair and a silver forelock, had Ari wondered that someone could make you feel so many things at once?
Remembering what Mír had said about fresh clothes, Ari pressed the button to open the closet doors. Then, as they hummed and hissed open, she gasped. There were racks and rows, and behind them more racks and rows. Was that a hallway down the middle?
Ari blindly grabbed for a plain green dress. After scavenging through several drawers, she found some underthings and dressed herself with shaking hands. She and Mír were roughly the same height, but Mír was broader in the shoulders and hips, so the dress felt a little baggy.
Still, once she was clothed, Ari felt marginally more capable of facing that vast, empty room by herself, and headed through the door.
The Crown Lily remained in the same position, pointing ominously at Nahtal Station. Ari shivered and hugged herself although the room’s temperature was reasonably warm. Not quite warm enough for her plants, though. Maybe that’s why she felt cold. Just the difference of a few degrees from what she was used to made it seem chilly.
She thought about going back for an extra layer of clothing and shuddered at the idea of braving that closet again. Instead, she looked at the station’s control tower and wondered what was going on over there. Had the pirates completely occupied it? Was Mír still “meeting with” Lord Koll? Had the station tried to put up any resistance? Was anyone hurt? What about Dr. Eylen, Dr. Ishti, Rellin, and the others who had been so kind to her? Surely pirates wouldn’t hurt medical personnel?
They might just enslave them, was all. Ari closed her eyes.
Then she went to the statue. The female figure carried a shield and sword. Was it Mír herself? There wasn’t much of a resemblance, but the effect was fierce enough that the statue could represent a pirate queen, even in the abstract.
Or you could subtract “pirate” and be left only with “queen.” That was what the guard had called Mír in Ari’s quarters. I won’t be the one who tells the queen we couldn’t find a slip of a girl.
If they saw Mír as their queen, they thought of Ari quite differently—just a slip of a girl. Apparently Mír had even told them that it would be “easy” to capture Ari. She’d expected her to come along with no resistance at all.
Assistant had often underestimated her, and Mír was apparently no wiser. Sure, Ari had no idea how she was supposed to resist anything in her current position, but she had to find her feet. Had to ground herself like the roots of a tree.
Ari took a deep breath and let the curl of anger inside her grow bright. She couldn’t let it overwhelm her, but she could let it focus her, just like she had when she’d ordered the guard away after he’d hit her with the shock rod. If she didn’t let it focus her, then the stars only knew what she’d do—let herself get sentimental, soft, forgive Mír for everything just because Ari was glad she was alive.
“I will never call you ‘Slave,’” she said, repeating Mír’s words under her breath. They rang hollow.
Mír had said something else. I really can’t seem to do without you.
She’d spoken as if it was a regrettable truth. Ari supposed it was, for her. In fact, she’d said that love made you weak. Ari had thought that was ridiculous at the time, but it probably wasn’t a good idea to get too attached to people when you were a pirate queen. Or to get used to thinking of people as people, instead of objects to be torn through on your way to a goal.
Only, Ari hadn’t been so hot at doing without Mír, either, during the last month or so. She’d learned what rage was like, and had learned how to hate people, how to want to kill them. And before that, she’d learned about love and desire and joy and fear and grief and…she really hadn’t been alive at all before her new “
slave” had arrived in her quarters, had she? Ari couldn’t forget how she’d felt at seeing Mír just a few…hours?…ago in this very room. Like the nightmare was over.
Now it seemed a new nightmare had started in its place.
“Don’t ask me to let you go. Do you understand?”
Ari shuddered. No. She didn’t understand. Oh, she understood the urge to keep someone you cared about near you. But she could never do it. She could never have kept Mír enslaved on the station, no matter how much she needed her company. How could Mír do the same to her?
Think, darn it. How could Mír do the same to her? And why couldn’t Mír do without her? She’d said she couldn’t, but she hadn’t really explained further, other than saying that she liked having Ari in her arms at night and found her generally endearing. It was almost what you’d say about a beloved pet.
Mír wouldn’t have brought her fleet out here just to pick up a pet, though.
Ari rubbed her temples. It had to be more than that, Ari had to mean more to Mír than that. Mír wanted something from her, and until Ari figured out what “something” was, she was stuck.
It had to be something that nobody else could offer Mír. Something she couldn’t get from her fellow pirates, or from slaves, or even from power. Otherwise, coming back for Ari made no sense. If it wasn’t that big a deal, Mír could easily have waited until her plans would have brought her out to Nahtal anyway.
Whatever Ari could offer Mír, then, was something Mír really, really wanted. Maybe it was even something she needed. And only Ari could give it.
Whatever it was, it was the sole card in Ari’s hand. If only Rellin could see her now—this wasn’t like any game of Catch he’d taught her.
Ari took a deep breath as she looked up at the rough stone face of the statue. It gazed impassively at Nahtal Station through the giant window. It was as cold, hard, and immovable as Mír must have been for decades.
Ari set her jaw. Rock was strong. But given enough time, vegetation could overtake it, cover it up, even take root in the crevices and cracks. Let Mír be the rock; Ari was content to remain a tree.
Her stomach growled. She was apparently a hungry tree. Weird, since her stomach should be in knots. But if she’d needed rest, then she also needed food—and maybe a healthy dose of caffeine wouldn’t hurt, since she couldn’t crawl back into bed and forget all her problems.
Mír hadn’t said how to get food. There had to be a mess hall or canteen somewhere, but no way was Ari going to wander around on her own.
Ari remembered how Mír had tried to escape from Ari’s quarters within minutes of arriving at them for the first time. She’d been caught and beaten. Ari wasn’t stupid enough to expect better treatment on a pirate ship, no matter how safe Mír said she’d be.
Escape. Ari looked through the window again at Nahtal Station, overrun by pirates, and at the other ships in Mír’s fleet on every side of the Crown Lily. There was nowhere to go. Not unless Ari downloaded a manual on how to fly a shuttle, stole one from the docking bay (wherever it was), and traversed hyperspace to the heart of the Empire.
Seemed unlikely.
Further inspection of the room revealed an intercom at the vast desk—which appeared to be carved from one large piece of mahogany. Another antique. No wonder Mír had been so taken with Ari’s mother’s Q’heri board. However, a wooden panel on top of the desk probably concealed a computer interface, and all the drawers had electronic locks.
Ari frowned at the intercom. It seemed more complex than the one in her quarters. There were certainly more buttons, probably because a pirate queen needed to contact people all over her ship at a moment’s notice. Ari took a risk and pushed the largest button on the intercom, right in the middle of the interface with a big star on it.
“Hello?” she said as she held it down. “Is anybody there?”
She didn’t have to wait long for a reply. Within moments, a woman’s crisp voice replied, “How may I serve you, Lady Ariana?”
Ari rocked back on her heels. But it made sense that Mír’s people would know who was in her quarters. “Um, hi. I was just wondering if I could get some food. And coffee, too, maybe. I don’t know who to—”
“What would Your Ladyship like?”
“Well…what do you have?”
“Anything you like.” It might have been Ari’s imagination, but the woman’s voice sounded a little dry. “Up to and including Ufordian squid, should it please you.”
Ufordian squid hadn’t pleased anyone Ari had ever met, so far as she knew. Hopefully it didn’t please Mír, either. “Uh, I’m not picky, really. Whatever the kitchens are making is fine. Something fast. Just no squid.”
“I’ll send Her Majesty’s favorite dish to Your Ladyship. We always have that prepared for the flasher—it will need but a few moments to cook.”
Her Majesty? Ari could picture her father’s disgusted expression. For her part, she already knew better than to underestimate the pirates’ loyalty to their queen. “That, er, sounds fine. Thanks.”
“It is our pleasure to serve Her Ladyship.”
What did people on this ship know about her? About her history with Mír? “Ah, great. Sorry, but who am I talking to?”
“I am one of Her Majesty’s personal assistants. We have been instructed to give you privacy until you requested otherwise. We are ready to appear in person at a moment’s notice should you wish it.”
“No!” It came out much more rudely than Ari had intended. Whoever she was, the woman seemed polite, and there was no point in antagonizing anyone unnecessarily. It could only be a good thing if the people around Mír thought well of Ari. “I mean, no thank you. Just the food will be great.”
“As Your Ladyship desires. Is there anything else?”
“No. Not right now. Except, do you know when”—Ari couldn’t manage “Her Majesty”, she just couldn’t—“she’ll be back?”
“Her Majesty keeps her own time.”
Of course she did. Ari managed not to sigh. “Okay. That’s all. Thanks.”
“We are at your disposal, Your Ladyship.”
The light on the intercom blinked off.
Ari fidgeted. She’d prefer not to be stuffing her face when Mír returned. How long would she have to wait? The food had to be prepared, and the ship was huge, and who even knew where the kitchens were? If it was anything like Nahtal, it would probably be at least twenty minutes.
It was just over five. A stocky slave woman appeared with a covered tray in her hands. She seemed to be in her fifties and was well dressed, as those things went, in a crisp white tunic that had embroidered detailing on the hem. She bowed. “Your Ladyship.”
No matter how well they were dressed, the pirates’ slaves had no name but “Slave.” Ari couldn’t bring herself to say it. She reached out for the tray, even as she peeked over the slave’s shoulder to see what lay beyond Mír’s door. Just a corridor, ornately carpeted but framed by steel walls, that led to another door.
When Ari tried to take the tray, the slave seemed surprised, and even made to draw back. “I’m happy to set up the table for Your Ladyship.”
“Oh…that’s—” Ari paused and stopped herself from dismissing the slave completely. Could this be an opportunity to learn what was going on? She forced a friendly smile. “That’s not necessary, but I’d love somebody to talk to. Come on in.”
The slave woman froze, and Ari’s heart fell. The woman dropped eye contact and said in a subdued voice, “That isn’t my place, Your Ladyship.”
“But—” But Assistant talked to me all the time. Yet again, Ari could have kicked herself for her stupidity. She should have known. “That’s okay. I’ll just take the food.”
The slave hesitated again but then handed over the tray. It seemed like she couldn’t help giving Ari a quick once-over, but she never met Ari’s gaze. “Is there any other way I can serve Your Ladyship?”
“No. No thank you.” Ari bit her lip. “Uh, have a nice day.”
Now the woman looked kind of spooked. “As Your Ladyship wishes,” she said, bowed again, and hurried away.
Ari balanced the tray on one arm as she pushed the button to close the door. Fantastic. Within hours of her arrival, people already thought Ari was as weird here as they did everywhere else. Ari would probably get a lot more respect on a pirate ship if she snapped her fingers and yelled at slaves than if she was polite to them.
The thought was so depressing that the tray seemed heavier in her hands as she took it to the low table in front of the sofa.
When she took the silver top off the tray, she found a linen napkin, fine silverware, and a china plate bearing a beautifully browned steak, next to a side of vegetables. A thermos of coffee sat on the edge of the tray.
Ari looked at it and shook her head. She hadn’t passed a single moment on the Crown Lily that matched her long-held ideas of what pirate ships were like: dirty, disorganized, and crude. Mír had spoken so often of the discipline of her fleet, and apparently, she hadn’t been lying. Her flagship seemed like a floating palace.
Fitting, for a pirate queen who wanted to be Empress. The memory struck Ari, and she nearly gasped. Mír had tossed it out so casually right before Ari had fallen asleep, and for a second, Ari wondered if it had only been a dream.
No, it was no dream. Not with the way Mír had been angling at power instead of just roving and pillaging as she’d done for decades. She really, honest to goodness wanted to take charge of the whole Empire, and the unlimited scale of that ambition took Ari’s breath away.
She could think about that while she ate. Ari couldn’t remember the last time she’d had steak. She cut into it, relieved to see that it wasn’t red and oozing inside. She wouldn’t have put it past either Assistant or Mír to eat raw meat.
She couldn’t help thinking of “them” as two separate people. But Assistant was the woman who’d played Q’heri with such abandon that she’d used the riskiest possible maneuver to take it all. Ari had beaten her on points, but real life didn’t have points. There were no technicalities that let you wriggle away from a crushing defeat. Mír was proving that in real life every day.
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