by Jody Klaire
All she wanted was to be back in Nan’s cabin. Safe and sound beside the river with Aeron. Safe and sound.
So many years being other people had become a survival mechanism. So many identities used to hide the mess that was her own. Aeron had found the woman within her and she’d enjoyed that warm summer pretending, hoping.
Foolish, silly hopes and dreams that would have to be chased away. Dreams that had no place here. She was the job. She was her duty.
To do that, she would have to become someone else once more and that someone couldn’t be close to Aeron or anyone else. Isolation was the only way they could get through this. Renee looked at Aeron who stared toward the emerging shapes of St. Jude’s. Aeron, her little Missourian. Her strong jawline proud and noble, her imposing stature like a beacon of hope and warmth. She was so beautiful. The native blood and European mix culminated in a powerful, yet gentle soul. Strong, kind, courageous, and so very, very unique. Aeron made it impossible not to love her.
Renee was used to hiding. Burying every part of herself was something she was used to but burying the love she felt for Aeron would be agonizing.
A smile played across Aeron’s lips as Evan called out to her from another ATV and Renee groaned. Agonizing and close to impossible.
I HELPED CHARLIE off the ATV trailer with Evan and the doctor rushed over to us as we carried Charlie up the steps to the field hospital. My hands were cramping from clinging onto the rope and I was glad that Renee hadn’t gotten close enough to notice that I’d battered my left knee.
The thought of Renee’s weird reaction only brought a queasy feeling to my stomach and so I decided it was best for everyone if I just ignored her mood for now. Even if it was confusing me and, if I was honest, it hurt.
Renee kept her distance as we settled Charlie onto a bed that had been brought down into the reception area.
Joyce came sprinting over and hauled herself into his arms. “I told you not to go,” she kept sobbing over and over. “You never listen.”
He met my eyes and I could see that he wanted everybody to leave them alone. Her energy was manic and like one of those whizzing fireworks that darted off in all directions. She made me feel all giddy just looking at her.
“I’m fine, honey,” he whispered to her, his eyes pleaded with mine to get everyone to back off. “I’m just fine.”
“Hey, how are the others?” I asked the gathered rescuers and Mark nodded over to the other side of the room.
“We got two families,” he said and then lowered his head. “And the boy.”
“Where is he?” I asked. I knew from touching Charlie that he’d been holding onto the boy on that slope for hours. What I didn’t know was what had happened to his family.
“Over with the women,” Mark said. “He’ll get fussed over until he’s blue.”
I walked over to the little boy who looked up at me with clear blue eyes. It was funny how many different shades of blue there seemed to be. Renee’s were grey but with hints of blue that made them look like the color of a rainy sky in winter. The little guy’s eyes were more like a cloudless summer.
“Hey there,” I said. I tried not to yelp as I knelt beside him. “What’s your name?”
“Can’t get him to talk,” one of the women told me.
“Too shocked,” another added.
“Needs to lie down,” a third said.
I took off my gloves and held my palms up. “I’m different,” I told him, not that I needed too. Kids seem to get things a lot quicker than adults. “If you put your hands in mine, I can tell stuff about you.”
Shooting a glance at the ladies who were now discussing what best to feed him, I lowered my voice. “I can help you.”
He searched my eyes for a while, then his big blues filled with tears and he placed his hands in mine.
What do you mean you can’t find him? Where are you, you little jerk?
SLAM.
Please don’t . . . he’s just a boy.
CRASH.
A boy? And whose boy is he, you tramp?
BANG.
Run Zack, run . . . don’t let them find you . . .
BANG.
I gripped him to me, tight, as his pain poured out through his breathy sobs. The visions thick and fast.
“Zack Thomas, his mother is locked up for murder, shot the boyfriend.”
Long corridors, strange faces, kids in their beds with hostile eyes.
“His name is Zack, he don’t speak. He’s stupid.”
One kid to the other. Pushed to and fro, pushed and shoved.
“Zack we’re taking you to Denver, there’s a place you might like there.”
Strange places, names, faces, the car is big, smells of cigarettes. The mountains so big, so white.
“We’ll be there soon. What the—?”
“It’s okay,” I murmured to him as he sank into my arms. “You’re safe now.”
Something inside me bonded to the kid in that moment and no way was I letting more strangers take him from my side.
“My name is Aeron,” I told him. “I’m here for a while so you can stay with me. Would you like that, Zack?”
At the mention of his name, his eyes filled with wonder.
“Told you I could see it,” I said. “Now, why don’t we go get some food?”
“Aeron?” I turned to look at Renee who was frowning. “You need to leave him here.”
“Uh uh.” I felt Zack grip hold of me. “Me and my buddy are gonna get some pecan pie.”
Renee folded her arms. “Aeron, you can’t.”
Her anger rippled from her but I was tired, battered, and I was not gonna let Zack face another night on his own. Nan had said I was here for a reason and I was pretty damn sure that Zack was it.
“We are,” I told her. “Come if you want or we’ll see you back at the cabin.”
“Aeron,” she called after me, but I carried my little buddy through the snowy street and climbed up the café steps.
If I was real honest, I would admit that Renee’s demeanor had me swirling around in circles. Maybe we both needed a timeout.
I opened the door and was greeted by the smell of cooking. Martha soon came scurrying over and led me and my buddy over to a table.
“And who do we have here?” Martha asked.
“This is Zack,” I said. “He’s the strong silent type but he’s also kinda starved.”
Martha chuckled and seemed to get my hint without faltering. “How ’bout a burger and fries?” she asked him.
Zack didn’t need to answer out loud, his eyes and grin did it all for him.
“Same for you?” Martha asked me. “What will Serena have?”
My stomach clenched. Now, Renee, the real Renee would tuck into a croque-madame as she called it or a ham and cheese sandwich, toasted with an egg on top—a Monte Cristo—to the rest of us. I guessed it was a meal that she’d learned about in Europe, or maybe it was a family thing brought over from there. Anyhow, Renee loved that meal and she loved a fried breakfast too. She loved a lot of things that I did. I looked up as the door opened and I weren’t sure if the woman walking through the door was Renee anymore. Something had happened and she was surrounding herself with the impenetrable wall that I once got to see through. It hurt.
I adored Renee, even when she was fiery and intense, but Doctor Serena Llys was another story. No, she was the stuck-up Ivy League psychiatrist who was all airs, graces, and vegetarian diets.
“Not sure,” I answered as Renee joined us.
“These two are in the mood for burgers,” Martha told her. “What do you care for?”
Who was standing in front of me? Renee, the woman I knew, or Serena, the stranger?
“Vegetarian pasta if you don’t mind.”
So that was it then. All the promises she’d made back in the summer about us always being close, about caring about me as a person were all lies. All she had spouted about me not just being another protectee and that she’d take me on a road
trip to see her mom, it was all just another face. Man, did it sting. In fact, it hurt as much, if not more, as Sam’s betrayal. I stared out of the window to try and squash the pain back down. It seemed like everybody who said they cared only did when it suited them. Guess that was all a freak like me could expect.
Zack squeezed my hand and I looked down at him, fighting desperately to control my voice. “What’s up, buddy?”
He grabbed three straws from the side.
“Think he wants a soda,” I said to Martha.
She chuckled. “You think, or are you more of a milkshake man?”
Zack scrunched up his tanned face as though she’d asked him the meaning of life. After long, arduous minutes of contemplation he turned to look at me. I got the flash of him with a pink frothy moustache.
“Milkshake,” I answered. “Strawberry.”
AERON AND THE young boy seemed in perfect harmony as Martha watched them chomp on their burgers. The boy was mute and no doubt traumatized, that much Martha could see, but he looked completely at home with his giant friend.
Martha smiled to herself as she filled up his milkshake. He looked comfortable and safe around her. Not that she could argue with that. From what she had seen of Aeron, she was the sweetest, gentlest spirit.
It made Martha wonder at the world. How one so tall and muscular could be so soft.
She caught sight of Serena as she placed the milkshake on the tray. Now there was a conflicted woman if she had ever seen one. She watched as Aeron and the boy giggled, their connection effortless and sibling-like. It was evident that Serena wanted nothing more than to join in. In fact she looked like she would give anything to relax.
So why wasn’t she?
From the way that Aeron talked to her and acted, Serena was very welcome, very much liked and yet she chose to isolate herself. It was almost painful to watch, and if she was a busybody, she would more than likely try and unravel the reasons to help.
“Martha, hon,” Earl called and she tried not to tut as he stood in the doorway in his oily clothes. “You got something I can get on the go? The pipe is leaking and—”
“Wash,” she interrupted. “Then I’ll fix you a steak.”
Earl smiled and went to approach but she wagged her finger. “Wash.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, his eyes lighting over her face for long moments.
An apology for not being perfect, not being the man he had wanted so much to be. She looked away, unable to stand the self-loathing in his eyes. He was who he was, same as she. That was that in her eyes.
“Mom?”
Martha smiled reflexively as she turned to see her son standing where Earl had been. He was a perfect blend of them both, her red hair and Earl’s green eyes. Her willowy frame but with Earl’s strong arms and legs. He was a wide receiver and had been offered a scholarship, having caught the attention of quite a few college scouts. She knew next to nothing about football and all she knew was her son had a knack for catching the ball in the touchdown area. Much like his father had once done.
“Mom?” Ronny asked when she didn’t answer. “You dreaming of anything nice?” He dipped around her to pinch some fries from out of the serving tray.
“Look at the state you’re in,” Martha scolded him. “Just like your father. Go on, go get washed up. No food for either of you until you’re clean.”
Ronny swerved around her swatting, pinched another couple of fries and then ducked through the back door which led to their private home. She wanted better for Ronny. She and Earl had the cabins but they hadn’t been fruitful and it was getting harder and harder to keep them running.
“No use fretting over things you can’t change,” she reminded herself for the hundredth time today and turned back to stare out at the unlikely trio.
There was an energy about Aeron, a bright light shining from her when she smiled, which only dimmed when she looked at Serena. Her smile faded then, her amber eyes scouring her friend for an answer to some question. Serena looked like she wanted to give her that answer too but something was blocking the way.
Martha put the two sodas next to the milkshake and carried over the tray. She saw all sorts when the people stopped by on their way to the glamorous resorts. Some stories played out right in front of her eyes and some she had to dream up the ending. She didn’t mind all that much, it was a habit that had kept her going. One day, she would sit and write a book of her tales. She smiled to herself as she ducked around a customer who got to his feet. When she had time at least. Some day when she retired. Aeron looked up at her as she got to the table.
Martha put on her best smile. “One milkshake for the gentleman,” she said, enjoying the grin it provoked from the boy. “And two sodas for his ladies.”
“Thanks, Martha,” Aeron said, trying to push money her way.
“It’s on the house,” she said, offering a smile at Serena.
The one she received in return was half-hearted that showed more signs of aching loss than it did gratitude. Martha fought the urge to comfort the young woman.
“Thank you.” Serena’s voice was so small that Martha feared she would burst into tears at any moment.
“It’s been a long day,” Martha offered. “Why don’t you finish up your food and I’ll pop by to set up a bed for your guest?”
Two beaming faces on one side contradicted a thin-lipped grimace on the other. Martha left them to it and tried to imagine what could make Serena so unhappy. Was it the boy? No, she had been just as sullen last night before the avalanche. She’d assumed it was tiredness from a long drive, but no, the weariness was very much evident even today.
Martha put on the steaks for her boys and watched the trio quietly. Yes, there was a story there lurking beneath the surface, she only hoped for them at least, it involved a happy ending.
Chapter 10
MARTHA WAS AS good as her word, and as I was not exactly parental material, she helped to sort out the little guy with a bath and some bedclothes before helping me tuck him in.
Now, lucky for me, I had gotten to know my half-sisters before leaving Oppidum and the youngest was only four so I had learned a lot of kid stuff from her.
One, was that kids, no matter how freaked out and lonely they were, loved a bedtime story. Even more so, they loved an acted-out bedtime story.
The second thing I learned about kids was that they knew when something wasn’t right. You see, back in Oppidum, Renee had been a part of that bedtime story act. You’d never believe just how good a bear she could be but she did the noises like no other sane person I’d ever seen.
So, it didn’t surprise me when Zack “asked” if Renee was sad. What did surprise me was how much I wanted to protect him from the truth. I told him that she was sad because of the avalanche, which I knew was a lie. It seemed like a better thing than to tell him that I didn’t have one iota what was happening with her and that I was pretty sure she was either pre-menstrual or needed therapy . . . or both. So I stuck with the avalanche theory and hoped by the morning Renee would reappear and Doctor Miserable would go hike over a high place.
I came downstairs, and Renee was sitting on the sofa, her feet pulled up as she stared at the crackling fire. The shutters and curtains were all closed and I wondered why she would want to close off such a beautiful view. If I couldn’t tell by my burdens that she was healthy, I’d have been worried that she was getting sick.
“You want somethin’?” I asked, heading into the kitchen for something to do. I needed to get her talking somehow or we’d both end up being committed, well, I would be re-committed, but same difference.
Not hearing an answer, I raised my eyes to see her staring into space as though she hadn’t even heard me. “You enjoying the orbit over there or what?”
Again, she was unseeing, unhearing, and my skin prickled with worry. Growing up, I didn’t have nobody I was close to and Nan had been much like Zack and never spoke. I didn’t know whether it was normal for people to change all of a sudden
. If it was normal to block people out. Had I messed up so bad that she didn’t even want to look at me? If so, I sure as shoots didn’t know how to fix it. Being at odds with Renee gave me a stomach ache.
“Nan,” I muttered under my breath. “You’re my guru, any ideas?”
I wouldn’t normally bother her but there was nobody else to ask. I didn’t figure Blob as much of a people person. He was sitting on the sofa next to Renee and I was pretty sure that he was asleep by the snoring sounds.
“What’s up, Shortstop?” I smiled at the breezy voice. I missed her something terrible.
“I think I broke her,” I said, motioning to the brooding protector in the corner. “How do I fix it?”
“You call me up to get me chasing ghosts and now you ask me about your troubles?”
I sighed and nodded. I was a terrible person and she really needed to get some rest instead of listening to my whining. “I don’t do people so well.”
“Don’t be such a dimwit,” she scolded. “Some folks just got a lot on their minds.”
Renee’s grey eyes flickered in the light. One side of her face was bathed in the warm glow and highlighted the smooth contours of her face. The blonde hair, ruffled from the shower, jutted out like a feathered frame. She looked like the Renee I knew so well but she felt like a stranger.
“Well, I gotta figure out a way of getting through to her or she’s gonna get lost under all that armor again.” I swallowed the panic rising up through my chest. “I’ll never dig her out.”
Nan’s presence took up a stool next to the breakfast bar. “She ain’t in a great place, Shorty. An’ you gotta figure if you really want to follow her where she’s headed.”
“Great,” I muttered. “More riddles.” I folded my arms. “Is this where you tell me there’s a storm coming and all the other cryptic messages like back home?”
“Hey,” Nan said. “I ain’t got no crystal ball, darlin’.”
“No,” I said. “That would be my dear mother, right?”
Ooh, that sounded loaded with venom. Where had that come from? Today was obviously another “Lilia sucks” day.