by Tamara Black
Then she moved and put her arm over my chest. I took a deep breath. She smelled wonderful. I could feel her breathing. Sleep overcame me quickly. My dreams were filled with images of her. In them, I saved her over and over again. A thousand times was the count in my head as I did everything I could in the dream world to save her.
SEVENTEEN
Leah
When the knock on the finally door came, I almost panicked.
“Take a deep breath. We're going to do fine. Don't forget to smile a lot,” Matt said.
I followed his advice, my chest pressing out then lowering slowly.
“You ready?”
Another knock sounded as I nodded. Matt opened the door. We both smiled at the middle aged man in a tweed suit standing on the porch.
“Welcome. You must be Mr. Harrison.”
“Thanks. Call me Hank.”
He stepped in our brand new home and looked around as he slid his feet across the welcome mat, something I thought made a nice touch. Matt had thought I was just making fun of his name, but in my mind, everything we could do to make the house seem normal and good for a child was a positive that would work for us.
“Welcome to our home, Hank.”
My voice felt odd coming out of my mouth, but I tried to pay attention to each and every word so that I sounded like a stable, middle class mother who had just suffered a terrible mistake. The three of us sat down in the living room. I was in the leather recliner while Matt and Hank were on opposite ends of the couch.
“How do you like your new house?” he asked.
“We absolutely love it,” I said with a smile. “We have been saving up forever.”
“It says here you lived in Englewood previously?”
“Yes, sir.”
“This is quite a step up in the world,” he said then chuckled.
Matt and I laughed along with him politely.
“Do you mind if I look around the house?”
“Not at all,” Matt said, standing up. “Please excuse the mess. It was my turn to clean.”
I smiled at his nice touch. The whole house was spotless. We'd both spent hours making sure everything looked perfect. Hank did a cursory walk through the place, but he didn't really seem concerned. When he was done, he stopped at the front door with one hand on the handle.
“Well?” Matt asked.
“You're getting a good report from me. I'm betting you'll be able to pick up Terry tomorrow.”
Joy flowed through me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was something in my life actually going my way for once? Had I said goodbye to the Chiraq Lullaby once and for all?
“That's great,” Matt said, which was good because I was speechless.
After the CPS worker had left, we hugged each other. This turned into one of our longest hugs ever. When we broke away, we stared at each other. Then, at the same time, we both moved forward. Our lips met. That first kiss was magical. I don't know if it was the excitement at the news I was getting my child back or what, but I had never felt the same way when kissing anyone in my life.
When we pulled away from each other, we didn't say anything about the kiss. The words of love were still unspoken between us, but the walls were being tore down. What was most surprising was that I wasn't concerned anymore. I had lived with fear of loving for a long time, but that period of my life was over. I knew Matt and I had a lot to talk about, but I was sure we would discuss everything.
* * *
Terry ran to me and threw himself at me with so much force that he almost knocked me over. I squeezed him tight then kissed him again and again.
“Mommy miss you,” he said.
“Oh, little man, I missed you too.”
I picked him up and we got the hell out of there before they changed their mind. Instead of going back to our new house right away, we took Terry to the park in our new neighborhood. After everything he'd been through, I wanted to gradually introduce him to his new life. He had seen Matt around before but never out of his office.
As I gently pushed Terry on one of the swings, Matt stood by my side.
“You're a wonderful man,” I said.
“You're a wonderful woman.”
“I'm serious.”
“So am I.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. Thank you.”
“What should we tell him?”
“He doesn't need details.”
I reached out and he took my hand in his. He looked down at them then back up at my face. After a little while in the park, we went back to our house. Terry fell in love with the place right away, especially when he saw that he had his very own bedroom. He didn't really ask any questions about Matt or Trey, which was nice. I knew I'd have to talk to him about it eventually, but I just wanted to get through one more day.
We watched family movies and ordered pizza. After Terry fell asleep on the couch, Matt lifted him up and carried him to his room. I followed and tucked him in, giving him a kiss on the forehead before we left. Once back on the couch, I leaned over and kissed Matt again. I couldn't resist. I felt safe for the first time in as long as I could remember. I knew we had a lot of work to do, but I wanted to open up a little and not be so dead set against love.
“You sure you want to do this?” he asked.
“We are married,” I said with a smile.
“That's true.”
Once we were in our bedroom, something I never thought I'd have to myself again, we took off our clothes slowly. We both knew what was about to happen, but we wanted to take our time and actually enjoy the moment. After so much craziness over the last couple weeks, we deserved a little pleasure. I couldn't wait to see him naked.
As he stood in front of me without any clothes, I finally saw all of him, and I liked what I saw. We kissed again for a moment, his beard tickling me. I wanted to tell him to shave it off, but that could wait. All I really cared about in that moment was having him deep inside me. I hadn't been with a man in a long time – over four years – and I was probably more excited than him.
We got into bed together and continued kissing. I reached down and gave him a few tugs. He was so gentle that I wasn't sure if he was going to be able to satisfy me. I liked my sex a little rough. The man being in control turned me on, but I found Matt a nice change of pace. Anyone touching me was a good thing, let alone someone who seemed to actually care about me.
He began to kiss my breasts, paying attention to each nipple equally. His tongue swirled around the black nubs as I closed my eyes and sighed. Was he that type of man? I wondered. A sigh left my body as he began kissing his way lower. As his lips touched my stomach, my breathing quickened. I put my hands on his hair and pushed him down even more.
The moment his chin brushed over my fleshy lips just a little bit, I tried to prepare myself for what he was about to do. I didn't even care at that point if he wanted me to return the favor or not. Going down on a man didn't bother me as long as they were clean and well groomed. I moaned as his tongue began to tease my most sensitive spots.
I ran my hands over his shaved head, guiding him to just the right spots. My pussy got wet and opened up as he continued to kiss and explore every inch between my legs. His hands were roaming over my chest, pinching my nipples. I didn't want him to stop, but I wanted him to be inside me even more. I scooted back a little. He looked up, so sweet between my legs with my juices on his lips.
When he crawled between my legs on the bed and entered me, I moaned again as my hands scratched his back. He knew exactly what he was doing. I felt our bodies become one as I pushed up to meet him as he penetrated me completely. His thrusts were slow and forceful and the friction built up quickly. I hadn't been with a man in so long that I felt myself begin to come almost immediately.
He bent down and kissed me on the lips. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I tumbled over the edge. As my orgasm washed over me and my body shook, he continued thrusting in and out of me slowly and methodically. I caught my breath and reached
up to pinch his nipples. He looked into my eyes. I lost myself in them.
“You're so beautiful,” he groaned.
“Don't stop. That feels so good.”
The look on his face let me know that he was close to coming himself. He almost seemed to be holding back, trying to make it last.
“Come for me, baby. I want you to come now.”
He grunted and pushed into me one final time. I held him tightly as his cock throbbed inside me and his body shook. Another orgasm would have been nice, but I felt happy, which was an emotion that usually didn't come after having sex. I wasn't complaining. Matt pulled out of me then collapsed beside me. We were both covered in sweat, but it was nice. I put my hand across his chest and snuggled against him.
EIGHTEEN
Matt
We made sweet, sweet love at long last. She was incredible. I was falling for her quickly, but I didn't care anymore. All I wanted was to make her happy.
NINETEEN
Leah
With each day that passed, Trey became less and less of a threat or source of anguish for me. I was sure that he would never find us in Jefferson Park, a neighborhood that seemed a world away from Englewood. Everything was going great until we caught a story on the news about two guys who had been gunned down. I instantly recognized them as members of Trey's crew.
“Shit,” I said, poking Matt as he sat next to me on the couch.
“What?”
“I know them two.”
“That got shot?”
“Yeah.”
“They're saying it might have been the police.”
“It was Trey.”
“How do you know that?”
He sat up and looked at me.
“I don't know for sure, but I kinda know. I bet you it was Trey.”
“I should get Brittney and do a little march through your old neighborhood to send the thugs a message.”
“That's not a good idea,” I said, not believing my ears. “You know it's dangerous.”
“I know a lot of people. We could get a hundred or more, I bet.”
“I think it's a bad idea.”
“Well, I think it's time for me to be a man.”
“Why you keep talking like that about yourself? It's a real turn-off for me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, I'll stop.”
“I'm being serious.”
I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I am too. I'll stop saying it because I'm going to actually stand up and do something.”
“But what if I don't want you to do it?”
“I'll take that into consideration, but this is something I think I need to do.”
“Things are going so good for us,” I said.
Why didn't he understand?
“They are, but what about all the people back in Englewood? They deserve help too.”
“You right.”
I frowned, hating to admit it.
“You have me and a kid now.”
“I know. And that's why I have to do this. We have power in numbers. It's going to be good.”
“You don't understand. It's Englewood.”
He leaned over and kissed me. I couldn't help but to kiss him back. Our relationship was an odd one, but I found myself more and more attracted to him.
* * *
The next day, Matt came home from work with Brittney.
“She's going to babysit so we can go do this tonight,” he said to me as they stood in front of me on the couch.
“Tonight?”
I had been hoping that it would take him a while to gather enough people for a peace march.
“Yeah, we need to strike while the iron's hot, as they say.”
“As they used to say.”
He smiled then bent down and kissed me on the lips. If he was determined to do something about Trey, I knew I had to go along with him to keep him from doing something really stupid. After everything he'd done for me, this was the least I could do for him. At least that's what I told myself as we gathered with over a hundred people who had agreed to march through Englewood to demand peace and safety.
Terry was familiar with Brittney. She had watched him a couple other times for us so we could go out and have dinner or I could look for a job while he was at work. We had escaped Trey, but our life still wasn't easy. At the same time, I appreciated each and every day I had with Matt and Terry. They were the only two men I needed in my life.
When we got to the Chitown Shares parking lot, I was genuinely surprised by how many people had shown up. Peace in the Streets and other phrases were painted on signs and banners. Around a hundred people were gathered and preparing to march through Englewood. The signs didn't attack Trey or accuse him of murder directly, but I knew the anti-gang message would upset him.
The march was probably a really bad idea, but if Matt believed in doing it, I wanted to support him. We got in front of the others and led them down the street. Our plan was to pass Trey's apartment to let him know that his time was short. There was a big chance he would just laugh at the protesters, but then again he had been upset when he saw them the last time.
“Peace in the streets!”
People chanted as we walked, and I found myself joining in. Despite my best efforts, I began to feel that we were really doing the right thing. While I had escaped Englewood, I had left a lot of people behind, and I wanted to help them if I could. A sign was held high in my right hand while my other held onto Matt's hand.
He looked over at me and smiled. In that moment, I realized that one of the reasons I really liked him was his selflessness. In the hood, you had to fuck other people over just to survive. Matt went out of his way to help others without it being a benefit for him. In fact, he was putting himself in danger just to send a message to the man who had threatened me.
Before we reached the block with Trey's apartment, two police cars rolled up with their sirens and lights both going. A Sergeant stepped out of one of the cars and rushed over. We kept walking at first. Matt gripped my hand a little tighter as everyone screamed, “Peace in the streets.” The chant was the opposite of the Chiraq Lullaby. This wasn't meant to wake people up not put them to sleep.
“Hey, you all need to stop,” the Sergeant yelled.
No one listened. We all continued walking and chanting, being disobedient civilly. Getting a permit and permission would have probably been a good idea, but Matt knew they wouldn't have allowed a protest or even an awareness march through an area that had been seen so many dead bodies in the last few months. So we had done it on our own, figuring we would ask for forgiveness after the march.
Brittney had called some of her media contacts. Some of them actually showed up to cover what we were doing. I found that so exciting. Maybe the march would make a difference after all, I thought. Then my heart sank. I stopped chanting as I saw Trey saunter out of his apartment.
The Sergeant was nowhere to be seen as he strolled into the crowd. Matt stopped the instant he noticed him. As Trey walked over, I took a deep breath, praying that nothing bad happened. When he reached us, he started laughing while pointing at me.
“What's so funny?” I asked.
“Shut up, bitch,” Trey said.
Anger flashed over Matt's face. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me, white guy.”
“I don't want you talking to my wife like that.”
“Wifey?” Trey laughed. “She just a hood rat.”
“Take that back.”
Matt stepped forward as he switched the sign to his right hand.
“Or what, white boy?”
Trey puffed up his chest and pulled a gun out of his waist. Just then, police sirens went off again. Three tear gas canisters landed in middle of the crowd. This caused most of the marchers to scatter in different directions. Matt and I stood our ground, but Trey took off as soon as the first siren sounded. The Sergeant came over to us when he realized we weren't running.<
br />
“What the hell you kids doing out here? Trying to start a riot?”
“No, sir,” Matt said. “This was a peaceful protest.”
“You got a permit?”
“Well, no, but...”
“No buts. You either have a permit or we're shutting you down. Just because this shit is happening elsewhere in the country doesn't mean you white liberals can pull your shit here in Chicago.”
“Don't you mean Chiraq?” I asked. “And not all of us are white liberals.”
“Look, lady, we ain't got time for your antics. There are real crimes being committed out there right now.”
“I'd like to file a report about the man who pulled a gun on me just now,” Matt said.
The Sergeant shook his head back and forth then snorted with laughter.
“You guys are something else,” he said as he walked away.
Matt and I were about to leave ourselves when something happened. I should have had my eyes open and noticed what was happening, but I had let my emotions get the better of me. A young, black teen in a gray and yellow hoodie rolled toward us on a BMX bike. As he got closer, I made eye contact with him. I wondered if Terry would grow up to be like him. Then he pulled out a pistol and shot me.
“Trey day, bitch!” he yelled as he tried to ride away after taking the shot.
The police all went into defensive mode as they heard the shot. I felt the bullet pierce my left thigh. I was so worked up, I almost didn't feel it at first. Then a burning pain ripped through my body. I stumbled and would have fallen if it wasn't for Matt.
He held me up as he yelled for someone to call for an ambulance. When no one responded – not even the police – he dug his cell phone out and called them himself while he helped me stand. He barked the address into the phone then hung it up and put it back in his pocket.
“Are you okay?”
“Other than just being shot by some punk ass teen Trey has working for him?”