by Tamara Black
“I like how you didn't say months there.”
“You like that, did you?” He smiled again.
The rest of our weekend getaway went great. After I cashed in my ticket, we went to have dinner with the other high rollers. They didn't have fish sticks, but they did have lobster and other seafood for me to consume in mass quantities. Luke teased me a bit after I finally stopped ordering, but I insisted that I was just eating for two.
“What are your name choices?” I asked after our plates were cleared.
He took a sip of his coffee. “To be honest, I hadn't thought about it yet. What about you?”
“I'm not sure. I was thinking with all that reading you do you can come up with something unique.”
“I'll think about it and see what I can come up with.”
I looked into his eyes and smiled. We had a lot to figure out, but our two days at the casino brought us closer together than we'd ever been. Even though we usually only had sex, we came to the realization that we really did know each other well. The baby came up more than once, but I didn't press him about getting married or anything. I wanted to have him move in and take it slow.
TEN
Luke
“You sure you want to spend so much on a stroller?” I asked as we walked down an aisle at the store.
“Nothing but the best for our baby. I have the money.”
“I know. It's just...” I stopped walking.
“What?”
I wanted to wait a bit and come up with the perfect spot, but I couldn't hold myself back any longer. Her eyes widened and her hand went to her mouth as I dropped to one knee and held out the ring. It wasn't much, but going by the look on her face, she wasn't disappointed.
“Serena. Will you marry me and make us official?”
She nodded her head as tears began to stream down her face. The pregnancy had her emotional all the time, something I knew I'd have to work around if I was going to be living with her. I stood up and hugged her.
* * *
After a month of living together, everything was going wonderfully. While she planned her dream wedding, I started work on a novel of my own. That Serena supported my writing was yet another reason I loved her. An idea had been planted in my mind, and I wanted to try to get it out on the page. She made good money, so I had more time to write after I moved in with her.
And I put that time to good use. We had decided to not find out the sex of our child before they were born, so I decided to write two versions of a story, one for my potential son and one for my potential daughter. I was afraid it was too much of a gimmick, but I was determined to see it through to the end for once. Serena was good at motivating me.
“You finish the next chapter?” she asked when she walked in our apartment, carrying a bag of groceries.
“Yeah, I did. And the one after that,” I said, jumping up to get the back for her. “I told you to text me so I could carry the groceries up for you.”
“I figured you'd be busy. Besides, I can use the exercise.”
She rubbed her belly while both of us looked down at it, wondering about the child we'd had together. While technically it was an accidental pregnancy, I liked to think that we had been meant for each other and would have eventually decided to have a child. The topic of a second child was something I was already considering bringing up early, even before she had the first one.
Everything I read on pregnancy to try to have empathy for what she was going through said that it was going to be painful and uncomfortable, even with the best of drugs. I leaned forward and gave her a kiss as I took the bag from her. After I carried it to the kitchen and put the groceries away, I returned to the living room to sit with her on the couch and rub her feet.
ELEVEN
Serena
With a dream wedding soon (I’d marked the date on the calendar with a big red heart), a good man in my life (I kissed him every morning when I woke and every night as I went to bed), and a baby on the way (I could hardly wait to hold my baby to my breast), I didn’t expect my life to get worse. Luke was acting different. He spent a considerable amount of time locked in the spare bedroom writing and working on a novel. No matter how much I begged, he wouldn't let me read, which pissed me off.
My body and mind both underwent many changes during the six months since I told him I was pregnant with his baby and we'd gotten together. The baby's gender was still unknown to us. We wanted it to be a surprise on the big day. Didn’t want to spoil the birthday surprise. While Luke appeared excited and supportive at first, rushing around to open my car door, holding my elbow when I climbed stairs. As soon as he moved in with me, though, he acted strange, claiming to work on a book.
Meanwhile, I tried to cope with a changing workplace on my own. By law, the company was required to give me maternity leave, but I understood how the business world really operated. Tina, one of the employees under me, would likely take my spot. I figured it would take six to eight weeks for me to recover both physically and mentally.
“What's for dinner, hun?” Luke asked after walking out of the spare bedroom he'd converted into his writer's lair.
“I'm not sure yet. How's the writing going?”
“Good. I mean great. You doing okay?”
“Sure,” I lied, wondering if he would even realize.
“I need to ask you a huge favor, okay?”
He stopped in front of the coffee table. I looked up at him from the couch.
“What?”
“Can we postpone the wedding a few months?” My eyes widened. “Maybe the end of the year or next spring?”
The last part made my jaw drop an inch as I stared at him. My blood pressure started to rise as anger spread through my body. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. What the fuck was he thinking throwing this surprise at me just days away from delivering our baby? I counted to ten, concentrating on my breathing, before I opened my eyes.
He stared at me as if he was trying to comprehend what had me upset. I got to my feet, something that had become quite a task. When he rushed over to help me, I brushed his hand away, which got his attention. After standing, I made my way to the kitchen. I wanted oatmeal and raisins. He can fix his own damn dinner, I thought.
“You okay?”
I turned. “Really, Luke? You're going to drop this on me now? I'm about to give birth to our baby.”
A frown fell over his face, causing his brow to wrinkle. “Let me make you something to eat, okay? I've been busy...”
“Yep,” I interrupted, “With your damn book you won't let me read. I swear, if I find out you've been playing video games or watching porn in there all this time, I'm going to...” The corner of his mouth ticked up a little, and it made me wonder.
My finger wagged in the air for a moment, but I stopped when my blood pressure rose slightly again. I could feel it behind my eyes. I made my way back to the couch and sat down, an ordeal that took a solid three or four minutes. I needed another arm, but not Luke’s. As soon as I sat down, I sobbed, emotions racing through my body. Did he seriously ask me to postpone our wedding happening in three months?
Half an hour later, he came out with a bowl of oatmeal and raisins, as if he had read my fucking mind. He’d even drizzled honey over it. He sat next to me and we watched some television. I enjoyed spending time with him. I wanted to talk to him more about why he wanted to postpone our wedding, something I'd already spent a ton of money on. Even more important, I needed to relax for the baby.
* * *
Two days later, the baby knocked on the door to the world. My contractions became more powerful and arrived closer together. We went into emergency mode, which must have seemed like a bad Jerry Lewis movie full of physical comedy to people who watched us. We made it to the hospital in one piece and in record time. He complained when I made him practice the route a few times, but it had paid off for us.
They admitted me right away. When they didn't let Luke in with me, it scared the hell out of me
. After a few tense moments, my doctor told me it was a false alarm. They wanted to keep me over night for observation. They allowed Luke to come back to my room. When he walked in, I remembered why I loved my white knight.
“You gave me a scare,” he said. He rolled and unrolled a magazine in his hands nervously.
“Me too.”
“I'm going to stay right here, okay? You sleep.”
I smiled and nodded. Sleep overtook me. When I opened my eyes, Luke was nowhere to be seen. The magazine sat limp in the chair where he’d been sitting. He's probably getting a coffee or something, I told myself as I waited patiently. After half an hour, I fell back asleep, wondering if he was changing his mind about me again. Even scarier, I wondered if the baby and I would be better off without him in our lives.
TWELVE
Luke
As soon as I left the hospital room, I hoped Serena didn't wake up and find me gone. My latest book needed to be finished soon, and I had to talk to Christina in person about the changes she had made. She was a graduate student I'd met who was helping me edit my work. We had begun working together about six months earlier, right around the time Serena finally told me about our baby.
Not long after we got together, I published my writing online. To my amazement, my stories, novellas and full length novels sold well. With Christina's help, my writing had gotten stronger – not to mention all the readers who left helpful reviews. Serena was pregnant with our baby, and I didn't want to worry her with what I was doing. At least not until I made enough money to support both of us.
And the tide was turning. I brought in decent money every month, more than enough to take care of our new family. When she talked about her job and her fear of losing it when she had the baby, I worked even harder. All the work was about to pay off, but I needed to keep to my rigid release schedule to satisfy my fans. Christina was part of the reason I was doing so well, a damn big part of the reason.
I walked the three blocks from the hospital to her apartment, surprised she had answered my text message so late and so quickly. She was aware of Serena, the baby, and how much I loved both of them. We flirted occasionally, but it was all innocent in my eyes. All I wanted from Christina was her to help me edit my writing so I could sell more books and support my family.
When the door opened after I knocked, she didn't look happy, but she nodded her head for me to come in. I walked in and headed to her dining room where we worked together. Printouts of chapters from old works as well as ones I had in progress littered the table. Most of the mess was from my latest work, something I hoped would become a bestseller.
“Shouldn't you be at the hospital?”
“Huh?” I asked, glancing up from a printed page with some of her latest notes. I couldn’t help but look.
“Your soon-to-be wife. The baby. You know...”
She yawned, her breasts pushing against the fabric of the tight jersey t-shirt she had on. I couldn’t help but notice.
“She's asleep, and I want to get these edits so I can publish soon.”
“We could email.”
“Yeah, but this works better for me.”
“Oh,” she said with a sarcastic tone. “Good for you.”
“You got the last payment, right?”
“Well, yeah, but the money you pay me to edit doesn't mean you own me.”
“I'm sorry, I'm just stressed.” I fingered a page that had some of her scribbles.
“I imagine bringing a baby into the world must be a lot of work.”
“Tell me about it. I didn’t think I was going to get that last chapter right.”
“I meant your actual baby, not your book, dumb ass. Can you leave so I can go to bed? Or you can hop in with me and we can see where it goes,” she said in her ever- present sarcastic tone.
“I have to go,” I said, grabbing the stack of papers off her table.
“Go back to the hospital. Now.”
She pointed her finger toward the door. I left without saying thanks, but I had a lot onf my mind. The more books I sold, the more I could pay her to help with editing. My goal was to hire her full time as soon as I could afford to pay her for that much work every week. At that point, I might be able to make a nice living for my family.
Serena and my unborn child were all I worried about each and every single day. Christina flirted with me, but I never acted on her advances, so in my eyes, I wasn’t in the wrong. As I walked back to the hospital, hoping Serena hadn't woken up, the characters in my latest book all talked at the same time in my mind.
Before going back to her room, I headed to the cafeteria to go over the notes from Christina. I also wanted to write down some of the best ideas from the walk back to the hospital. I lost track of time as I got into my story, trying to make it as good as possible for my readers – compelling, emotional, a real page-turner. When I looked at my phone and saw the time, I realized it was morning already.
I rushed upstairs to her room and walked in with a smile on my face. As soon as I stepped in, she gave me the look I hated to see. Her brow furrowed and her eyes looked directly into mine. A thousand and one things I could say flashed through my brain instantaneously, but I kept my mouth shut. Over the last six months of living with Serena, I had learned to read her before engaging.
THIRTEEN
Serena
When he sauntered back into my hospital room the next morning, I was furious. He looked at me like nothing was wrong, a little smirk on his face which upset me even more. I reminded myself that I shouldn't get worked up as he stopped next to the bed. When he reached out to take my hand, I kept staring straight up, breathing and ignoring him.
“You're up,” he said.
“Where'd you go?”
“I took a walk and got some work done, that's all. Why?”
“Um, because we're having a baby. I woke up, and you were gone.”
“I never realized you were so needy.”
“You didn't just say that, did you?”
“Calm down. I'm sorry. I'll stay here.”
I went back to concentrating on my breathing as he walked across the room and sat in the uncomfortable chair. He looked at his abandoned magazine like he’d never seen it before then shuffled through some papers after pulling them out of his backpack.
“Are you cheating on me?” I asked point blank, staring at him across the room to judge his reaction.
He looked up at me. “What?”
“Are you cheating?” I repeated, still studying his face.
“No, I'm not.” He stood up and walked back over to the bed. “Why would I do something like that to you and the baby? What would make you think that?”
“You've been so distant.”
“I told you, baby, I've been working.”
“Uh huh. And you've not shown any of it to me.”
“I don't come to the office and bug you, do I?”
“Let's not argue, please. Just leave for now, okay?”
“And who would I be cheating with?”
“You know who. Christina. Will you please leave?”
A nurse walked in. “Everything okay?” she asked.
Luke frowned and left the room. “Everything's fine,” I said.
The Korean woman who spoke perfect English walked over to my bedside anyway. “The first baby is tough.”
“My body is so blah right now.”
“I meant your relationship, too. Is he your husband? A new baby can be tough on a relationship.”
Were all nurses so damn nosey? I wondered. The drugs helped me open up to her.
“We're not married yet. He wants to postpone the wedding.”
“Did he say why?”
“He said he wants to work on some secret project, but I think he's cheating with his assistant and having doubts about us.” I wondered if she could see the suspicion in my face.
“His assistant?”
“Well, more of an editor, but she's basically his writing assistant. They spend a lot of tim
e together.”
“Well, I would give him a chance,” she said as she reached out and gently touched my arm.
I slept a little more before the baby came for real.
* * *
As I shifted in the hospital bed, my water broke. I pushed the button for a nurse. Luke freaked out. He kind of ran in place like a cartoon character. Moments later, a doctor arrived and administered more drugs as the birth began. I had read all the books and websites talking about pregnancy, but they were all useless in preparing me for the sensation. My ‘mommy-brain’ was booting up.
Everything went according to plan. At the end, I saw my baby lifted into the air for me to see for a split second. His little penis brought a smile to my face. I wanted a boy. Edmund Davis Robinson had Luke's last name before I did, but I didn’t mind. With the birth out of the way, the wedding would eventually happen. I was confident.
After they cleaned the baby, they allowed me to hold him. His tiny body looked so beautiful. His skin a light brown. Curly hair already sprouted out of the top of his head. I looked up at Luke. I couldn’t deny the smile on his face showed his happiness with our baby. He peered into my eyes before he leaned down and kissed me. Tiny Edmund laughed, already a jokester. His lips puckered for my nipple, and I gave it to him.
My emotions, in combination with the drugs, had me a nervous mess. They took Edmund away for a bit to give me time to rest and to bond with my baby. Luke wanted to stay in the room with us, and I wanted him to stay, but they asked him to leave. As soon as he left, I drifted off to sleep with my baby at my breast. Would I make a good mother? I asked myself before I lost consciousness.
FOURTEEN
Luke
I wanted to go home and work or head to Christina's apartment to argue with her about my latest plot idea, but I stayed at the hospital. The free WiFi allowed me to reach out with my laptop and read about pregnancy, something I had neglected to do during her pregnancy. As I glanced through a few sites, I realized Serena needed my help, and not just with paying the bills.