by Joy Eileen
The lights flickered, and Van kissed Jessie, telling her it was their cue to get the fuck backstage. Jet and Amy were kissing like he had just come back from war, and I turned my head, afraid of what would happen next.
D's face had an odd look on it. I slung my arm around his waist, wanting him to feel at ease with me. He seemed like he could never relax around me.
“Have a great show,” I told him.
“Thanks. Don’t let any douche bags hit on you while we're up there.”
Kill snorted. “They can’t help but gather around her, especially in that dress.”
He pulled me away from D, putting his arms around me and resting his chin on the top of my head.
“I’m just saying, my friend likes to pull in the scum.”
I pushed my head up causing him to snap his mouth shut.
“Well, my friend likes to pull in the skanks, so I guess we're just magnets for all the wrong people.”
Jessie gave me the eye, but I ignored her. Van watched Kill, and I was grateful not all the attention was on me. D looked from me to Kill, back and forth like he was watching a sideways tennis match.
Jet pulled himself away from Amy and looked at us, confused at what he had just missed, but then shrugged it off. He kissed the top of Amy’s head and walked by Kill, punching him in the arm. “Let’s rock this taco stand.”
Van shook his head, and they followed Jet backstage. A group of girls were giving us stink eye, and I smiled, saluting them with my drink before settling in my seat.
“Just friends, huh? Be careful, Faith,” Jessie warned.
Amy looked over at her, waiting for her to say more. I gave her a look, silently telling her to shut up, which surprisingly she did.
“What the hell's going on?” Amy asked, sucking down more of her drink.
“Nothing,” I replied, making her go back to her drink.
“Amy, don’t finish that whole thing, you're going to get alcohol poisoning,” I warned, as she sucked down even more.
“It’s mostly juice, and it tastes like candy.”
I shook my head at her, hoping she was right. Amy eyed my chest then her drink, and I could almost see her mind turning.
“Hey, Faith, I bet we could fit one of your boobs in here.”
Jessie snorted, and the table full of guys behind us laughed, obviously overhearing Amy’s hypothesis.
“I get to take my glass home, we should try it.”
I honestly didn't know how to respond, so I took a drink of my soda, or tried to, until I realized it was empty.
“Anyone want a refill before the boys start?” I asked, picking up my glass to help out the busy waitress.
Jessie eyed her half empty drink. “Yeah, get me another one of these. I don’t know why, but I'm nervous.”
She took a drink, and I patted her back before going to the bar.
When I had our drinks, the whole bar broke out into screams and chants, swarming the dance floor. Jet strutted out to the center of the stage pointing out to the crowd, making the audience go insane.
Van settled behind his drums and pointed a drumstick toward Jessie. The women in the general direction of his drumstick screamed, thinking he was pointing at them.
D walked out during the insanity, and girls screamed his name. He gave them a shy wave.
Kill came out last. He had been talking to some guy, and didn’t move until he nodded, agreeing to whatever Kill had said. Kill clapped him on the shoulder before appearing onstage, making the noise level rise to a dangerous point.
When his gaze landed on our table, his eyes narrowed. I stood there unable to take my eyes off him, immobile as people bumped into me. His eyes swept the crowd until they connected with me. He flashed his half-smile, and I tightened my grip on the drinks. They were heavy in my arms, and I struggled to stay upright as my legs turned to mush under his gaze.
He winked before taking the microphone and addressing the crowd. No longer locked in his gaze, I regained control of my body. Amy’s drink was more than halfway gone, and Jessie made good on her last one, snatching the one I handed her and taking a huge gulp.
Every so often Kill looked over at our table, and I had to take a drink to cool off my heated body. After we finished our drinks, we headed toward the dance floor.
We elbowed our way through until we were as close as we could get to the stage without having to hit a bitch. Amy jumped around, flailing her arms and smacking into people, getting us more room on the crowded floor.
A pair of arms encircled my waist and pulled me toward their owner. I recognized the tattoos surrounding me immediately. Rolling my eyes, I turned, getting ready to launch into full bitch mode.
“Hey, Faith, I saw you out here looking all sexy, and I had to dance with you.”
“Sorry, Robert, I'm dancing with my friends,” I said, pulling out of his grasp.
That was when I noticed the guy Kill had been talking to before the show coming toward us.
“Well, what about later?” Robert asked, confident he would get a dance.
“Not tonight, sorry.” I was still eyeing the guy as he came closer.
"That’s ok. I understand you want to spend time with your friends. Maybe I can take you out some time?” he asked, leaning into me so I could hear him over the noise.
“I don’t think so. I'm not dating right now.”
“Alright, I'll leave you alone tonight, but I'll get you on a date.” He winked and went back toward his table with enough swagger in his step to make him look like a total douche. I turned just in time to see the mystery guy melt back into the crowd.
The boys took a break, and we headed back to our table, sweaty from dancing. Jessie left to get the next round.
Amy threw herself at Jet, kissing him thoroughly. Van went to find Jessie, and D went along to help him carry the drinks. I had a smug smile on my face as Kill came toward me.
“Hey, Slick, are you having fun?” He glanced over at Robert.
“You guys are awesome as usual, but you know that. I'm afraid to compliment you in fear of your ego exploding.”
He sat down and threw his arm on the back of my chair.
“So who was the guy you were talking to before you started your set?” I asked.
“A douche swatter.” He had an impish smile on his face when he answered.
“A what?”
“A douche swatter. Kind of like a human fly swatter, but for douches.”
“You asked someone to keep guys away from me?” I asked, secretly pleased.
“That’s what friends are for. Did I mention you look amazing tonight?”
“Thanks, Killer,” I said, bumping my shoulder into him.
Van, Jessie, and D came back. After handing out the beers, D pulled Jet and Amy apart.
A gaggle of brave girls approached the boys. Their eyes were glassy and I couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol surging through their system, or being near the boys.
“Oh my God, we love you guys so much!” the braver of the bunch exclaimed.
The others nodded their heads vigorously in agreement. I inconspicuously rolled my eyes at Kill, not wanting to piss off their fans.
“Thanks,” he replied, taking his arm off the back of my chair so he could lean into them with his panty-dropping smile.
They started bouncing with excitement, and I had to turn my laugh into a cough. Kill grasped my leg under the table, leaving it there, causing heat to flood through me. I had to remind myself to breathe so he wouldn’t see the effect he had on me.
“We're your biggest fans,” one of the others said.
With the ice broken, they were becoming braver, checking out all of the boys. Kill leaned back and took a deep pull from his beer, and even I was affected by the sight of his throat moving as he swallowed.
The girls talked a while longer before wandering away starstruck. I couldn’t blame them; being near Kill and the boys was potent stuff.
Kill left his hand on my thigh until it was t
ime to go back onstage. He squeezed it before removing it, and I couldn’t stop the sharp inhale when he did.
He stood up and winked at me from around his bottle as he finished it. As they sauntered off toward the stage, I, like the rest of the females in the bar, stared at them.
A girl in a black tube top and tight black pleather pants, walked up to Kill. She was beautiful in a "bad girl you don’t want to piss off" kind of way. Her black hair was cut in a short bob not going past her ears and shaved at the back.
Both of her arms were covered in bright sleeves snaking around her collar bone. Her high heeled boots were laced to her knees, and when she touched Kill's shoulder, her blood-red finger nails gleamed in the light.
She leaned into Kill, her mouth close to his ear, and I was pretty sure after she finished with whatever proposition she offered him, she licked the outer shell.
I was watching intently, waiting for him to respond. I know, I know, I had no right to be jealous, but I couldn’t help the emotion as it flowed through me.
Hell, I practically pushed him toward any available skank, and the current one trying to get her claws into him was in the perfect package. My stomach squeezed painfully, and the soda I'd been sipping on burned next to the boulder.
He caught me watching. I didn’t want to give him mixed signals; saying I only wanted to be friends, but don’t touch anyone else, even though it was exactly what I wanted.
Well, if I was being truthful, I wanted him to tell me being friends was the stupidest idea ever, while throwing me on any available surface and erasing the idea of friendship from my head.
He cocked his eyebrow at me, cutting his eyes toward the biker skank. She saw him, and gave me the evil eye before turning back to Kill, placing a seductive look on her face. If I would have tried that look, I would have ended up looking like I was having cramps.
I tried giving him an encouraging look, letting him know it was ok if he wanted to agree to whatever she had suggested. His face turned to stone. He shook his head and said something to her causing her to pout, trying to get him to change his mind.
He walked toward the stage without another word. I let out a sigh of relief, wanting to get up and do a happy dance. I knew it wasn’t fair for him to become abstinent because of our friendship, but I'm not going to lie and say it didn’t make me feel fucking fantastic.
Biker skank turned on her heels, scowling at me as she stormed off.
“What was that about?” Amy asked when biker skank was out of sight, clueing into the outside world beyond Jet’s naked body.
I shrugged.
“Faith, you need to be careful. Friends, remember?” Jessie warned.
“I know, Jess. So I have stupid feelings for Kill I shouldn’t have, is that what you want to hear? I refuse to be one of his conquests, and because of that I need to steer clear of him. He's not who I thought he was. He's kind and thoughtful and so damn confusing, my brain has taken a vacation since meeting him,” I rambled.
Jessie touched my hand as it fiddled with Kill’s discarded bottle. Amy reached in her purse, which was stuffed with her now empty glass. After digging around she threw a bag of M&M’s at me, which I took, grateful to have something to do.
“Friendship's all you should be offering him. He doesn’t do relationships, and I can’t see you get hurt again, ” Jessie explained, while the boys started their set.
“Admit it, with his reputation, it doesn't make sense that he's turning down beautiful girls. I feel awful, but I also know seeing him with another girl would tear my heart out, even though he should be doing just that. I'm a bad person. I know I'm not ready for anything, but it's hard not to want him,” I finished lamely.
Amy scoffed, tossing a Skittle at my head, I dodged it, and it lodged itself in the hair of a girl passing by. Her hair was teased so high she didn’t realize it now had a colorful passenger. We stared at her as she walked away before bursting out laughing, wondering when she would find her little stowaway.
“You aren’t a bad person, Faith. You're female, and we're complicated. Don’t be so hard on yourself; it will all work out,” Amy said, looking at Jet as he thrust his hips in time with the song, causing her to scream along with everyone else.
“Don’t let his attention confuse you. He'll get tired of the chase and go back to easier conquests,” Jessie ended giving me one of her briefer lectures.
I went to the bathroom when Jessie and Amy decided to do shots. While contemplating running into the lineless boy’s bathroom, someone came up behind me.
“He isn’t going to change for you.”
I didn’t turn around, thinking whoever was behind me was talking to someone else.
“I know you think your little innocent act will keep him happy, but it won’t keep him around.”
Ok, that was meant for me. I turned around to see none other than biker skank sneering at me.
“I don’t know what you're talking about. We're just friends. He turned you down for another reason besides me.”
She let out a harsh laugh and narrowed her eyes. “He thinks you'll be different and you're worth changing for, but he'll get bored of it really fast, and when he does, I'll be waiting for him with open arms.”
I snorted at her, trying not to let her know how close to home she was getting. “More like open legs,” I retorted.
She just shrugged. “He'll be between those too, and you'll be at home like a good girl, never crossing his mind when he's buried in me.”
Figuring she was right, I turned around and walked forward to close the gap in front of me.
“We're just friends because honestly I know you're right. I'm nothing special so I wouldn’t even try a relationship with him. Because unlike you, I can’t have sex with someone and not have feelings for them. I have standards, so if you can get him to change his mind, you're welcome to him.”
She sneered at me and walked away, her mission accomplished. At the table the girls were a couple of shots in and feeling no pain.
When the set was over, and Van and Jet had pried their fans off them, they came over to us. Amy and Jessie were giggling, leaning heavily on the table. Van looked over at me with accusing eyes.
“I went to the bathroom, and when I came out they were taking shots,” I defended myself, as Jet lifted up Amy.
She put her arms around him, and started snoring.
Jessie tried to get up to walk to one of the Vans she was seeing, but stumbled as soon as she stood. Van caught her and tossed her over his shoulder. They decided to take the girls home together so they could help each other. I fished Amy’s keys out of her purse so I had a way home.
Kill was still loading the equipment. D came over to explain he needed to talk to the owner and to let Kill know if he didn’t want to wait to just go home with me. Kill appeared later, looking confused.
“The girls had a little too much fun, so Van and Jet took them back to the house in Jessie’s car. D's finishing up with the owner. It's up to you, if you want to wait for him, or ride with me?”
Kill took the keys out of my hand and headed out of the bar. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
I shivered from the temperature change when we emerged into the chilly Portland night. Kill put his arm around me, and I buried myself into his body, fully aware I wasn't just doing it for the body heat.
At the car he opened the door for me, not letting go until the last second.
Instead of driving home, he parked in front of a twenty-four hour diner. He didn’t say a thing, swinging his long legs out of the car and came around to my door. Kill reached out, and I let him pull me out of the car as he tucked me back into his side.
“Come on, Slick, hurry your sexy ass up, it’s cold.”
He pulled me closer to him, and we hurried into the vacant diner. When we sank into one of the empty cracked vinyl booths, an older waitress came over, snapping her gum. She started to put the single page menu in front of us, but Kill waved her off.
“We wo
uld like a banana split, extra hot fudge please.”
The waitress popped her gum in confirmation and headed off to make our order. I couldn’t hold back the smile as he ordered, and almost moaned when he said extra fudge.
“Nice, Killer.”
“That’s what friends are for.”
“I’m going to have an easy time getting used to this friendship thing. Did anyone ever tell you, you are by far the greatest friend any girl could ask for?”
His smile slipped, and I wanted to retract my statement to get it back.
“I wouldn’t know. I've never done this before. I don’t think it would be like this with anyone else.” His voice had a serious note to it, and it took me a second to catch my breath. I was saved when the waitress came back, and this time I did moan when everything sin was made of was placed in front of us. There were two spoons sticking out of it, and we dug in before the waitress had turned around.
My eyes rolled back into my head at the gooey, sticky sugar mess. Kill laughed at my reaction, but I didn’t care. I went in for another bite.
We were scraping the bottom of the bowl, and a spoon fight ensued, both of us trying to get the best of the leftovers. He would knock everything I gathered off of my spoon and scoop it up and putting it in his mouth before coming back to repeat it.
When the last of the ice cream was on his spoon, I stuck out my bottom lip. He stopped right before putting it in his mouth and turned it around stopping in front of me.
“Here.”
I opened my mouth and tried to pull the spoon in but he pulled it back. Determined to get the last bite, I leaned over the table trying again to get the spoon in my mouth. He moved it further back. I lifted up, leaning my whole body across the table.
He had the last bite near his opened mouth. All thoughts of ice cream vanished; only the thought of Kill remained. His eyes were stormy with lust, and I was sure mine were the same.
I leaned in further, letting the spoon click on our front teeth, having only the width of it separating us.
When I was about to open my mouth to let the spoon and Kill slide in, a snap of gum brought us back to reality. I plunked back down, as Kill cussed under his breath, throwing the last bite back into the bowl.