by Joy Eileen
“Fuck! You can’t say shit like that to me.” He stared down at me. His eyes on fire with emotions. The sight caused me to suck in a breath from the pure unveiled, feelings pouring out of him.
“Come on. Let's go for our run before we say something we're both going to regret.”
He let me go and went out the door. I got our waters with shaking hands and followed him outside into the muggy air. The air slapped me in the face. It clung to my body while it pushed me back. I tried to take a deep breath, but the heavy air stuck to my esophagus, coating it all the way down.
We stretched in silence, moving slower as we fought the thickness surrounding us. Together we moved to the street in sync with one another. He slapped me on the ass, his way of letting me know we were back in a good place.
We jogged slowly as we fought the muggy air for every step. We didn’t increase our speed because the extra resistance made it difficult enough without pushing ourselves.
When we reached the house, I dropped to the ground on my back, sucking in the heavy air. Kill dropped down next to me, and I wanted to kick his ass since he wasn’t breathing nearly as hard as I was. I shot him the evil eye, making him laugh.
“Why aren’t you as winded as I am?” I whined, turning my head to face him.
“I'm in way better shape than you, what can I say?”
I reached over and punched him in the arm. “Ass,” I laughed.
“But you love me,” he responded, and I was afraid he might be right.
“Shut up, I need to work on my thesis before I go to work tonight.”
He jumped up and reached down to help me. I stared at his hand, deliberating if I should take it or not. “Scared?” he taunted.
I scrunched my nose, and grabbed his hand, letting him lift me up.
“You don’t like to back down from a challenge, do you Slick?” he asked, as we made our way into the house and closer to the beckoning shower.
“That’s for me to know, and for you to never find out, Killer.”
I didn't want to admit he was the only one I had an ounce of fight with. All others I backed down from immediately, except for Bambi, but she's a bitch. Instinctually, I knew Kill would never physically hurt me. I was safe to explode around him.
After my shower, I lounged in a pair of cotton shorts and one of my favorite comfy bras with a ratty tank top over it. Everything was scattered on my bed as I started to work.
I glanced over at my door, wondering if Kill would join me. I intentionally left the side of the bed he was on yesterday clear, just in case. A little later there was a knock on the door, and Kill came in with his notebook. He noticed I had left a spot for him.
“Miss me?” he asked, as he sat down on the open area.
“No, I was actually expecting someone else, but I guess you'll have to do.” I responded, not taking my eyes off of my computer screen.
“Liar,” he whispered in my ear.
I jumped, unaware of how close he had moved. I wanted to wipe off his self-satisfied smirk, so I licked the tip of his nose, causing him to jerk back from me in horror.
He moved so fast he lost his balance, and ended up falling off of the bed with a bang. I scrambled over to see him sprawled on the floor, looking confused as to how he got there.
“You licked me,” he cried in astonishment, not moving from the spot on the floor.
“You reacted like a girl,” I retorted back, unable to hold my laughter.
“I don’t think I have been licked on the face in…. well, forever.”
I couldn’t answer him because I was laughing so hard. He snagged my arm and pulled me off of the bed making me scream as I landed next to him.
“Now who reacts like a girl?” he responded, trying to look superior.
“I am a girl, haven’t we had this conversation already?”
I got up and back on the bed, positioning my computer on my legs in an attempt to use it as a shield for whatever retribution he had planned. He got back on the bed and grinned when he saw me hovering over my computer, acting like I was engrossed in my forgotten paper.
“Truce?” he asked, putting his hand out to shake.
I reluctantly put my hand in his and he pulled it toward him, licking my whole forearm. Instead of making it a disgusting act of revenge, he languidly ran his tongue up my arm.
His eyes never strayed from mine as he completed his journey. Goosebumps broke out over my body, causing an involuntary shudder at his action.
My nipples hardened, and the panties I just put on grew damp. When he reached the inside of my elbow, he bit the skin gently before turning around and grabbing his notebook. He opened it and clicked his pen as if he didn’t just ignite my body in a sexual inferno.
I tried to go back to my paper but ended up staring blankly at the last sentence I'd written. Frustrated I muttered, “Asshole,” while I tried to clear my head.
He chuckled but didn’t take his eyes off of the notebook. Why did he have to be such a man-whore and mess around with Bambi? I asked myself, all the while trying to get my vagina to calm the hell down.
We worked in silence just like the day before, and once I got his tongue out of my mind the words flowed. After a few hours, I packed it up. Kill was still engrossed in his notebook. I took him in, memorizing all of his features.
His eyebrows were furrowed as he read, and I watched as his eyes swept the page taking in every word. He was perfection. I couldn’t blame him for not wanting to settle down. If I looked like him, I would also be going through Portland’s hottest, like a hot knife through butter.
“See something you like?” he asked, catching me off guard.
“Doesn’t everybody?” I shot back.
I was baffled he would want to sit in my room and work on a song instead of have some bleach blonde, surgeon-altered girl ride him like the last horse on earth. He closed his notebook, leaning into me.
“You shouldn’t judge so quickly. It hurts my feelings.”
“You confuse the hell out of me, Killer,” I admitted, unable to hide the truth from him.
“Stop thinking so much.” His eyes searched my face, wanting to see if I would obey his request.
“What happened between you and that waitress Misty?” I blurted out, needing to break the intensity of the moment.
He rubbed the back of his neck nervously before answering.
“One night awhile back, we had a really good night. The whole bar was buying us shots, telling us we were going to make it soon. Misty showed up crying because her baby daddy left her for some other woman. I felt bad for her and tried to make her feel better by complimenting her.”
He held out his hand to listen to the whole story when I rolled my eye.
“I know, I know, not my finest decision, but I was plastered and thought it was what she needed. She started crying again, saying she should have fallen for someone like me, and then she kissed me, and I….well, I was drunk and I kissed her back. Before things went any further, her babysitter called and she had to leave. The next day she stayed after her shift and kept acting like we were a couple. I explained to her we weren’t going to be anything. And to make sure I drove the point home, I took home some random chick right in front of her. She was pissed, and I can’t blame her. I was an asshole, but I've changed. I hate that you have to know who I was, but I don’t want to hide it from you.”
He didn’t look me in the eyes, and I could easily picture him doing something like that to Misty, and soon it would be Bambi. It was a good reminder. I needed to remain his friend, especially since I was trying hard to squash the jealousy bubbling up in me as he talked.
I refused to have a broken heart like most of the girls in Kill’s life. He became nervous, fiddling with his notebook when I didn't respond right away.
“Are you ready to go start dinner?” he asked, coming around to my side of the bed so he could help me up.
He ran into his room to put his notebook away, and I went downstairs to get the laundry. Ba
ffled by his sudden change in attitude, I tried to wrap my head around the fact he seemed to want me to believe he had changed.
I wished I could figure out what kind of game he was playing with me.
Kill stared in the fridge trying to figure out what we needed for dinner. Having no clue what I was going to make, he looked hopeless, waiting for something to magically appear. He heard me walk in and gave me sheepish smile.
“I was going to start dinner, but then I realized I had no idea what you had planned.”
I wrapped my arms around him, wishing it could be different for us, but certain it never would be.
“Move over, Killer. Go sit down.”
The front door opened and Jet called out, “Awesome has arrived.”
Everyone came in the house carrying something.
“What’s all of this?” I asked as they all made their way to the living room.
“We brought our star dinner. Can’t have her slaving over dinner when she has to go up onstage later.” D answered.
My stomach dropped at the reminder.
“Why did you have to remind her, dumbass?” Kill yelled at D, rubbing his hands up and down my arm. “Don’t think about it, you'll do fine,” he whispered in my ear, before biting my earlobe.
He moved out of the kitchen, calling dibs on half of a pizza. Taking a deep breath I tried to calm my nerves, unable to discern if they were from the fear of performing, or from Kill’s teeth.
I had to stop thinking of him like that because it made me want to throw him down on any available surface and say the hell with our friendship.
I observed my newly acquired family, feeling a part of my broken heart heal. Kill nodded his head, indicating I should come over and join them. After dinner, the guys refused to let me clean up, telling me I needed to go get stage ready.
Jessie left after dinner, kissing me on the cheek and telling me she would see me at work. Amy had a tutoring session, but promised she would be at Ray’s in time to see my performance.
My stomach knotted up from the thought of being onstage with Kill and the boys. As I curled my hair, Kill leaned on the doorframe watching me in the mirror.
“See something you like?” I asked, throwing his earlier question back at him.
He grinned at me and scanned my body from the tips of my toes to my raised arm holding the curling iron. “Yep,” he said, looking at me in the mirror.
The curling iron touched my scalp when all of my limbs went weak.
“Ouch,” I cried, removing the iron from my hair and letting the curl fall on the side of my face.
“You alright?” he asked, not waiting for me to answer him before he started inspecting my scalp.
“I’m fine, get out of here. I'm already nervous enough. I don’t need you around making it worse,” I grumbled, grabbing another piece of hair.
He kissed me where I had burned my head and walked out of the bathroom. “You're going to be amazing, don’t worry so damn much.”
When he left, I stuck my tongue out at the empty doorway. Downstairs, the boys were on the couch playing a video game. Jet screamed at them to kill someone. They paused the game to assess me.
“Do I pass inspection?” I asked when none of them said anything.
“Fuck, we're going to be so hot tonight.” Jet grinned, giving Van a high five.
D winked at me. I glanced over at Kill last to see him scowling. I gave him a questioning glance, and his face transformed into that damn half-smile.
“Let me go get my keys. I'm going to drive you tonight as promised, so you can get your liquid courage on.”
“Not too much though, at least not until after your song, right?” D looked at me concerned, and I laughed at his worried face.
“Don’t worry, dad, I promise to be a good girl.”
“Sorry, Faith. I just want it to be as perfect as I know it will be.”
“I'll be good, I promise,” I said, crossing my fingers, making them laugh.
Kill walked back into the living room jiggling his keys. “Ready?”
“Yeah, see you guys tonight.”
I bit my bottom lip, looking out the windshield and wishing I would have thrown my bottle of Tums into my bag before I left.
“You're going to be fine, Slick.” He put his hand on top of mine, stilling it from drumming on my thigh. I turned my hand over and entwined it with his, relaxing from his touch.
“I'll be right there with you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Do you trust me?” he asked, taking his eyes off the road, waiting for my answer.
“Yes,” I answered, without hesitation because as stupid as it may be, I did.
He squeezed my hand, and we lapsed into silence the rest of the way. He dropped me off at the back entrance and told me not to worry. His confidence actually made me feel secure, like maybe I could pull this off.
Jessie was waiting for me in the break room. Misty left out the back door. She didn’t acknowledge me and I did the same.
Chapter 17
The bar was busier being it was Friday, and the JackholeS were playing. I hadn’t stopped since my feet hit the bar floor.
The clientele differed from karaoke nights on Wednesdays and Thursdays. This was confirmed by the small amount of fried food I served, compared to the cosmopolitans I was ceaselessly delivering.
Ryan moved at a speed that would make any bartender jealous. With little effort, she kept up with the orders incessantly coming from the bar and the waitresses. The bell clanged, announcing the boys' arrival. Everyone turned to see what grand entrance Jet had planned. He didn’t let them down.
“Bow down subjects, I've arrived,” he crowed. People laughed, and some actually waved their arms up and down in a bowing motion. His chest puffed out like a rooster.
Van and D pushed him out of the way when he didn’t move from his post in front of the door. My heart sped up, knowing Kill would come in next. When he did, a possessive feeling came over me seeing all the women preening to get his attention. I stomped it down quickly.
He scanned the bar never meeting my gaze and making my heart drop. He took out his phone, frowning as he tapped on the screen and followed the boys.
Kill talked to the people who stopped him, but his frown stayed put. While I watched him walk through the bar, my phone vibrated.
Where are you Slick?
You didn’t chicken out
did you? Because you can
run but I will find you.
At the table he scanned the bar for me, and I then realized I was eclipsed by a bigger gentleman standing in front of me. Without moving from my spot, I text him back.
Well if you can’t find me in
this tiny bar, Killer, your
threat doesn’t seem
that scary.
Bambi walked up to him, blocking my view when I was about to reveal myself. I shot the back of her head the evil eye before making my way to Ryan. My playful mood had vanished. Ryan had a tray ready for the boys.
I noticed there were three beer bottles on the tray instead of the normal four. I waited for her to get the last bottle.
When she made her way over, I pointed at the tray. “I need one more.”
“Nope. Kill said he wasn’t drinking, but I'm supposed to give you a shot in ten minutes.” She winked at me before tending to her customers.
I moved at a slow crawl since Bambi had yet to move. When it was obvious her skinny ass wasn’t leaving, I took a deep breath and pulled my shoulders back.
“Hey, Slick, where have you been?” Kill asked, looking past Bambi.
“I’ve been around. So, you’re not drinking tonight? Admit it. You're trying to get me buzzed, huh.”
He winked at me as Bambi ran her hand down his arm. He frowned at her action before glancing back at me. My emotions were at war, not knowing what to believe.
“I need to check on my tables. Later, Kill,” she said, walking off, but not before giving me a wink, making my blood boil.
; Handing out the beers, I was pissed at myself for getting worked up by a skinny bitch he was screwing with. I wanted to think she meant nothing to him, but what I didn’t know was if I did.
“You ready for this, Faith?” D asked me, looking concerned.
“As ready as I can be,” I answered, while my stomach did loopty loops. “How will I know when you guys want me onstage?” I began to panic, realizing we never discussed this.
Would Kill call me over the microphone, like a little kid being summoned to the principal’s office? Kill put on his half-smile, and the boys had matching shit-eating grins.
“You'll know,” he replied without a care in the world.
The need to slap, and or kiss, the grin off his face made it impossible to be in his presence any longer.
“Ok, well let me know if you need anything. I need to get back to work.” I hurried away, passing Jessie on her way toward Van.
The boys got onstage, causing people to abandon their tables to flood the dance floor. The noise rose as they tried to show how much they loved them with their voices.
I went over to Ryan since there wasn’t anyone left to serve. All of us getting a much needed break. Ryan leaned on the bar and stretched her neck from side to side.
“You never came by for your shot. I need to make it up to you,” she said, pouring me two shots. She mixed stuff together and the final result was a caramel-colored shot.
“What is it?” I asked, certain it wouldn't taste anything like my morning coffee even though the color was similar.
“It’s a buttery nipple,” she answered, making a bottoms-up motion with her hand.
In a fast motion I downed it. Jessie and Denise came over as I put the shot glass down.
“That was yummy,” I said, disbelief coloring my voice.
“Drink up your liquid courage. I know the boys want you onstage soon, and you're going to need it,” Jessie said.
I swallowed the second one just as fast as the first, knowing she was right.
“You're singing with the JackholeS?” Denise asked in disbelief.