by Joy Eileen
I tried to keep the scowl off my face and probably looked constipated from fighting it. He gave me a questioning look and came over to me.
“I told you not to think tonight, Slick.” He pulled me into his arms giving me a hug. My nose planted into his chest so I could inhale the scent I craved.
“I didn’t agree to your request, but you were too busy with other things for me to tell you,” I responded into his chest, my nose vibrated when he chuckled into my hair.
“Sorry about that, Bambi requires a lot of attention, and if I wouldn’t have talked to her, she would have caused a huge scene.”
I stiffened at his reply. In my mind he had confirmed there was something going on with him and Bambi. And him allowing her to be clingy, without moving on to the next available vagina made my stomach squeeze, trying to evacuate its contents.
I swallowed, not wanting to vomit on his shirt, or maybe I did. I debated vomiting for a second before deciding against it.
“I understand you wouldn’t want to make her upset.” Placing my palms on his chest I tried to push away from him.
“Are you jealous?” he asked.
I wanted to slug him, because even though I couldn’t see his face, I was certain he was smiling.
“Please, Killer, we're just friends remember?”
He let me push off of him. I scurried over to Ryan without a backward glance.
“What’s going on between you two?” she asked.
“We're just friends,” I said defensively, hating the word friend every time I said it.
“Ah-ha. Just remember to be careful,” she replied, as I hefted the tray full of the boys' beers.
Most of the bar had shifted their chairs so they could get a glimpse of the boys. Jessie caught up and we walked over together. Before we reached the table she took a bottle and handed it to Van, kissing him in the process. Kill smirked at me when I handed him a bottle.
“Thanks, Slick.”
“I knew you would increase our male fans. Look how many more there are tonight,” D said, surveying the bar, and I could guarantee he would be able to tell me the exact percentage it had grown.
“I don’t know, D, it's Saturday. I'm sure they're just here because it's the weekend.”
“Nope. Faith, they're here for you. I have been asked by most of the males; mind you none I've ever seen before, if you were the singing waitress, and if I could introduce you to them,” Jessie said.
D and Jet laughed, but Kill searched around the bar, glaring at the new customers, making me cock an eyebrow at him.
“Whatcha, looking at, Killer?” I asked, curious at what he would say.
“Just making sure none of these douche boxes need an ass kicking. Where’s Catcher?” he grumbled, grabbing his bottle and scraping his chair on the floor as he went to look for him.
“That guy needs to get laid,” Jet said, Amy nibbling on his ear. “Ever since he's taken on protector role, he hasn’t had time to get any.” Jet's eyes rolled back in his head, and I knew his input was done until his ear was returned.
I wanted to correct him, and tell him Kill was getting plenty from a certain busty waitress with a perpetual bad attitude, but I kept my mouth shut.
“It isn’t Faith’s fault," Van stated. "He's growing up. Look at you. I've never seen you so hooked on a girl before. Besides, it gets tiring having a different girl every night, especially when all she wants is your rock 'n' roll persona, and not the real you.” D fist bumped Van in agreement.
“Well, then he needs to find someone like my Amy, take her somewhere and bang the shit out of her, and claim her as his own.”
Amy giggled. Jessie stared at Van as if he had grown two heads. Her eyes welled up with unshed tears. I dragged her away before anyone saw, telling the boys we needed to get back to work and would check on them soon.
“Are you alright?” I asked, as she pulled her cheeks down, trying to get the tears to go back to where they came from.
“I don’t know. What Van said just now, sometimes it feels like he's too perfect. He always says the right thing, and I'm not sure he's for real. Maybe this is his game.” Her voice was laced with panic.
“Van's falling in love with you, or is already there. You need to talk to him. Not everyone's walking around with an agenda.”
“Faith, I need to tell you something about Texas.” Her face was pale, and she kept glancing over at the boys.
“Whatever it is, it will be ok. Do you want to talk tonight, or wait until Monday?” I tried to placate her, wanting the panicked look on her face to go away.
She closed her eyes and when she opened them, her face was the picture of calm, having pushed all her emotions away. “Monday. Can you come to my apartment? Candice won’t be there.”
“It’s a date. I love you, Jess.”
“I love you too, Faith.”
We took off to deliver our orders. When people asked me about the red and purple drink, I blushed every time I told them the name. I gave them the rules and kept a mental tab on whom and how many each person had had.
The boys went onstage, and the bar emptied to the dance floor. I stopped and admired them in all their glory. I leaned on the bar, and rested my feet since my tables had abandoned me. Denise and Jessie leaned next to me.
Thankfully, Bambi stayed over by the gaming area, staring at Kill like she wanted to unhinge her jaw and swallow him whole. Ryan stood behind us, handing us each a bottle of water. I accepted mine gratefully and guzzled it without taking a breath.
“Nervous?” she asked, taking the empty bottle from me.
“I almost forgot I was going up there again. I've been going nonstop since I got here.” I admitted, taking my eyes off Bambi, and back to Kill.
“Do you want a drink?” Ryan asked.
I shook my head, certain my stomach couldn’t handle two nights in a row.
“You will be fine. This will be your fourth night onstage, and the other three you were incredible,” Denise said, touching my arm for encouragement.
“Karaoke was for fun. I didn’t care if I messed up. I'm afraid last night was a fluke, and I'll mess up and hurt the boys.”
“Those boys will make it no matter what happens tonight. Don’t worry about them. They're big boys, and they know what they're doing. You need more confidence.” With her wisdom dispensed, she took off to clean the empty tables.
“I concur,” Ryan said, wiping down the bar during the lull.
I took off to help Denise with the tables. Jessie was staring off into space, and I let her have some time.
When the boys jumped offstage, the crowd scrambled back to their tables. I had already put bottles on their table when they ended their song and kept busy with my other tables.
The break didn’t last as long as I wanted, and my nerves were on edge. My intro song started while I cleaned a deserted table. Chills broke out over my body when Kill sang my name as if we were the only two in the bar, all the while making the crowd go wild.
When I reached the stage, he lifted me up as he continued to sing. He sang the last verse directly toward me. The bar broke out into whistles and cat calls. People yelled at Kill, telling him he was the man and other encouragements.
“You lucky mother fuckers are in for a treat. If you're back from yesterday, then you can tell the person next to you they're about to become addicted.” Kill walked around the stage, getting the crowd into a frenzy.
“Marry me, Faith,” some random guy called out from the crowd.
Before I could spot my would-be fiancé, Kill was back by my side.
“You're so fucking sexy,” another guy yelled out.
“Sorry, buddy, I don’t go that way,” he responded, making the crowd burst out laughing.
“Not you, Kill, that fucking fine ass girl next to you,” the crowd tossed back.
Kill smiled, but his jaw was ticking. Luckily, it went undetected to everyone but me. My shoulders stiffened, recognizing he was uncomfortable onstage, and guilt washed
over me. I was ruining one of the places he felt at home.
Van led us into our song, unaware of my thoughts. As soon as I heard the first strains of the music, my muscles relaxed. I let the familiarity of the chords wrap me up and protect me from everything else. Kill watched me as I melted into the song, and the twitch in his jaw vanished. He winked at me before starting.
I gave him my version of his half-smile, making his eyes widen. I was afraid he thought I was having a stroke by his reaction. By the time the song ended we had gravitated toward each other. The crowd was more frantic than they were last night, mauling me when I got offstage.
Jet yelled in the microphone, telling everybody to back up and let me through. I tried not to panic, but having people pushing and cornering me, triggered memories of Jason. My breath came out in bursts, and black spots appeared in front of me.
“Get back, or our show's done,” Kill yelled from behind me.
The anger in his voice brought the people closest to me back to reality, and they immediately backed off. I tried in vain to catch my breath, fully aware I was seconds away from passing out.
“Easy, Slick, take a deep breath.”
I focused on Kill’s voice, hating I was the damsel-in-distress again. The black spots turned to blinding bright lights when I closed my eyes, and my stomach somersaulted against the sensory assault.
“Hey, you need to breathe, come on, Baby. I promise to never make you come back onstage again. I'm so sorry I did this to you.”
His self-depreciating attitude snapped me out of the darkness, and I turned to him.
“Shut up and get your ass back onstage and rock the rest of this fucking show. If you want me to sing with you next week I will, but if you don’t, it better be because I sucked tonight, not because you're trying to protect me.”
I pushed him back up the stairs while he kept looking back, trying to figure out if I was really ok. Catcher was waiting for me. I looped my arm though his and let him lead me safely back to the bar.
“Ok guys, you need to promise me you'll be nice to Faith, or she won’t come back again.” Kill chastised the crowd. Some of the culprits looked guilty, making the non-offenders smack them. Jet wagged his finger back and forth looking disappointed.
“Alright, I understand your attraction to that gorgeous girl, but please keep your hands to yourselves. If I have to, then so do you.”
The crowd stopped looking chagrined, and got back into its insane state of hero worship. Van started into a well-known JackholeS song and all was forgiven. With most of the bar on the dance floor trying to make nice with Kill, I relaxed at the bar with the girls.
Three guys shuffled up. One of them pushed another in front making him the official spokesperson. I made sure Catcher was close, just in case.
“Uhm, Faith, we were just trying to tell you how awesome you were. We didn’t mean to scare you.” They looked guilty; the one in front looked like he might cry.
“It’s ok,” I said and hugged him, hoping he wouldn't cry.
The other two circled us, and I found myself in a very uncomfortable hug. When they let go, they asked for a picture. Ryan snapped the picture and told them to move along.
“Thank you; I didn’t know how to get rid of them.”
“No problem, baby doll. Are you ok? I saw them rush you and then I couldn’t see you, there were so many people.” Ryan handed me another bottle of water, and I took a drink before answering.
“Yeah, it was overwhelming, but Kill got me through it.”
I didn’t see Bambi standing next to me until she spoke. “You're so stupid. The whole "save me, I'm so lame" bit will only get you so far.” She sneered at me, and I hated Kill saw something in her. Even if her vagina was ribbed for his pleasure, I still wouldn’t see her appeal.
“Bambi, you need to back the fuck off, now.” Ryan growled at her quietly, so she didn’t attract too much attention.
“Ahh look, even the lowly bartender's sticking up for you. You're so pathetic.”
“Bambi, I don’t know why you feel like you need to pick on me, but when your mouth opens, my ears shut off. I don’t give a fuck what you think of me. You need to leave me alone and back the fuck off,” I whispered softly, keeping with Ryan’s example.
Bambi opened her mouth to respond but Jessie, Amy and Denise stepped up.
“If you don’t leave her alone, we'll tell Ray how you've been making extra tips.” Denise said, making Bambi storm off.
“I think I just fell in love with you,” I told Denise.
“That was hot,” Ryan exclaimed, and we laughed, causing Bambi to turn around, most likely thinking we were talking about her.
She slid up to a well-dressed man on the edge of the crowd and ran her fingers up and down his arm. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. How could someone who had Kill look at another guy?
The boys wrapped up their set and jumped into the middle of the crowd.
“I can’t wait until Monday,” Jessie said staring at Van, before turning her head to look at me. “I hate this feeling of holding it all in, it's eating me up. Faith, promise me you won’t judge me.” The tears she had fought earlier were back with a vengeance.
“I wouldn’t judge you, or anyone for that matter, because I wouldn’t want anyone to judge me. I love you Jess, don’t worry, I promise it'll be ok.”
Tears fell down her face, making her look like the most heartbreaking beauty queen the world would ever witness. I put my arms around her as she cried on my shoulder.
Van made his way toward us, but I shook my head, stopping his advancement. He ran both of his hands over his bald head, looking like he wanted to hit something, being the only thing he could control at the moment were his actions.
D and Kill came up to each side of Van, putting their arms around his shoulder and guiding him toward their table. Denise took them their filled tray, giving Jessie time to compose herself.
Amy was on Jet’s back as he tried to get to the boys, having been held up in the crowd. Being Jet, he couldn’t deny the attention he was receiving, although to his credit he looked torn between the attention and Van.
When he made it to the table, he put his arms around Van and kissed his head, making Van jerk up and slug him in the arm. Jessie sniffled and pulled away, getting herself together and turning red when she realized where she just broke down.
“Did Van see?” she whispered, turning away from the boys' table to stare at the wall.
“Yeah. He wanted to come over here to check on you, but I signaled him to give you a moment. Jess you need to talk to him. He looked ill not being able to comfort you.”
I put my arm around her waist, facing the wall; both of us planning our escape from the hole we had put ourselves in.
“I will, but I need to tell you first,” she sighed, wiping her eyes one last time to make sure her mascara was still in place. She plastered on a fake smile I was familiar with, and went to the bar asking Ryan what she needed to do.
Ryan glanced at me silently asking what she should do, and I shrugged, unsure what was best for Jessie. Then I thought about what I would want, and mouthed to keep her busy. Ryan gave a sad smile, but then put Jessie to work. Jessie went on her merry way, with her fake smile etched on her face.
Van watched every move she made, his wounded look showed he was suffering while she shut him out, and as much as I loved Jessie, I wished she would get her head out of her ass and see how much he loved her.
I helped Ryan put the bar together as she yelled last call. Most of the bar had cleared out when the boys finished their set.
A few stragglers lingered, either having too much fun to leave, or hadn’t nailed down who they were going home to get it on with yet.
I watched a guy pull up his courage and talk to the girl he'd been gawking at all night. He was pale, and I was afraid he would pass out on his way over, but he made it without incident.
Catcher ushered everyone out, assisting some into the waiting cabs outside. The guy th
at had screwed up his courage landed the girl. She giggled at whatever he was whispering to her. I gave him the thumbs up when I caught his eye. He looked puzzled, but returned the gesture.
We circled around our normal table when Kill dragged a chair over to help. Ryan looked at him. “Did you get hired as the help and entertainment?”
“No, but I figure if I'm over here, you won’t talk about me,” he responded, leaning over and nudging me with his shoulder. “Besides, I'm tired and want to go home.”
“Oh, and I get to drive your car.” I did a happy dance in my chair, and Kill went pale.
“I didn’t drink that much, Slick. I'll be fine to drive.”
“Nope, you had alcohol, and you don’t need a mark on your record when you're about to be rich and famous. You can buy hundreds of the same car and give me yours when you're discovered.”
Kill mulled over my suggestion. “The car's yours when we hit it big.”
“I'm going to get sex on wheels soon!” I exclaimed, and it must have been with more enthusiasm than I thought, because the boys turned to look at me.
“You're giving her your car?” Jet was staring at Kill in horror. He took Amy off of his lap so he could come over and join our conversation.
“Yep, I get it when you guys hit it big.” I put out my pinky. Kill gave me a questioning look. “Pinky swear.”
He grinned, hooking his pinky with mine. “Pinky swear, the car's yours when we hit it big.”
“You have that much confidence in us, huh?” Kill asked, still holding my pinky, staring intently in my eyes.
Jet was behind Kill, looking like my answer would hold the fate of the band. In fact, all of the boys were staring, waiting for my answer.
I stood up on my chair, so I towered above everyone, hoping I didn’t fall on my ass doing this stunt, but wanting them to know how much confidence I had in them.
“I declare, I'll have that car before I graduate.”
The boys went crazy, and even Catcher got caught up in the mood and pounded his hands on the table. Ray walked out from the back room.
“What are you doing up there, young lady?” He looked like we had gone crazy, which I was sure was exactly what we looked like clapping, hollering, and standing on his furniture.