“You wouldn’t feel that way if you knew how badly I behaved earlier today.”
“Doesn’t matter what happened in the past, it’s what you make of the future that counts.”
Quinn took the lead out of Cole’s hand, leading Sally to the gate of the pasture. He opened the gate and patted Sally on her rump as she went in. They both watched her as she immediately dropped her head to graze on the green grass. Both men leaned their arms on the top of the fence, watching the horses.
Cole was digesting what Quinn said and was taking it to heart. He knew that he and Riley had gone through a bad time before they got together and got married.
Cole admitted to himself that he had feelings for Sierra, but it was Skye who mattered most. She needed a father.
Chapter 23
Sierra was quiet on the short ride back to her parents’ house. Cole had turned on the radio, as he didn’t feel like talking, either. Taylor Swift’s song, Wildest Dreams, came on the radio and Sierra couldn’t help but compare herself to the song’s lyrics:
He said, “Let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds.
I thought heaven can't help me now, nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down. He's so tall, and handsome as hell. He's so bad, but he does it so well. I can see the end as it begins, my one condition is, say you'll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset…..”
She pinched the soft skin between her thumb and first finger to keep herself from crying. She couldn’t believe how much the song’s words affected her. She tried to focus on the song’s tune, until they pulled into the driveway.
When he stopped the car, Cole walked around to Sierra’s side and opened the car door. Reaching his hand out, he helped her out of the car.
Her dad, coming around from the back of the house, exclaimed, “Whoa! Nice car.”
Cole and her father began easy conversation, talking “car” talk, so she made her way into the house. Skye came running toward her and jumped confidently in her arms. She was still carrying the new horse stuffed animal that Cole had bought for her. Sierra hugged her tight and listened while Skye told her all about what they missed while they were gone.
Her dad and Cole entered not long after, still discussing cars. Cole stopped, as he spotted her holding Skye. She saw something flash across his features before he was able to mask it. She didn’t know what it was, but it touched her heart.
“Ole. Orsey,” Skye said, holding the horse out towards him. As he stepped closer, Sierra was surprised when Skye reached out to him with both arms. Sierra handed the squirming toddler over to him.
As Cole held her and listened to her babble, Sierra quickly turned to head into the kitchen before emotions overcame her. She busied herself by helping her mother get dinner ready, but could hear Cole laughing with Skye as they went outside to play.
“Honey, it’s going to be okay,” her mother assured her, giving her a hug, “he’s good with her, and she likes him. I know you do, too, so give it a chance.”
Sierra returned her mother’s hug, shrugging, “Look at them out there playing.” Her mother turned so she could see what Sierra was seeing. “She looks just like him.”
“Oh, I don’t know, I see a lot of you in Skye, too, Sweetie,” she said, smiling at her daughter.
Both women watched as Cole knelt down to play on Skye’s level. Watching her “fantasy” man playing with their daughter made Sierra’s heart soar. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought, “How am I ever going to say goodbye for a third time?” Sierra’s mother finished getting dinner together, while Sierra continued watching Cole play with their daughter. Sierra’s dad finally called them all together to sit down to eat.
Dinner went well and the conversation was easy. Skye held most everyone’s attention, but there was never a lapse. Her dad asked Cole some questions about his business and Cole answered them, willingly.
They also asked him about his own parents and upbringing, and although Sierra thought he might be uncomfortable, he didn’t show it. He didn’t provide the details that he had shared with her, but answered them as honestly as he could. She was grateful that he was being open with them and relieved when they seemed to back off. She didn’t want him to think that they were prying, instead of just being genuinely interested.
He asked a lot of questions of them, as well, mostly about her and her years of showing horses. Both parents bragged and enjoyed teasing Sierra about her childhood. The mood was comfortable, with easy laughter and light banter.
After dinner and dessert, her mother took Skye upstairs to clean her up. Her dad went into the living room to read more of his paper and her brother went out for the night, leaving them alone in the kitchen. They hadn’t talked about anything significant since the ride.
“I’m heading back to the city in the morning,” Cole said, looking at his hands resting on the table.
“I know.”
“I plan on meeting with an attorney first thing.”
At the mention of an attorney, Sierra’s guard and defenses went up, asking, “Why?”
He looked at her directly, sharing his feelings, “I have to find out what my rights are, Sierra. I have so much to offer Skye and I want to get some things started for her protection and for her future.”
“I take good care of her, Cole.”
“I’m not implying you don’t. I’m doing this for her. You appear to be a wonderful mother, but Skye needs a father, too.”
Sierra stood up and braced herself at the sink, staring at him, “Okay. What do you propose?”
“I don’t know yet.” He slid his chair back and rose to stand beside her. He ran his fingers through his hair before placing both of his hands behind him on the counter, then spoke honestly, “I want to provide both of you with options. Her schooling, life insurance, college funds, child support…”
Sierra balked, “I don’t need or want your money Cole. I make enough to provide for her.”
He took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m sure you do and I’m trying to do the right thing, Sierra. Give me a damn break here.”
She felt the tension starting to fill the room and tried to stifle her tears, “All right, Cole. Talk to your attorney. I will hire one and do the same.”
Cole pushed away from the counter and started pacing in the kitchen. He stopped when he was standing directly in front of her, “What do YOU want Sierra? Huh? What do you want me to do? Say goodbye to that precious little girl and pretend I don’t know I’m her father? Pretend that nothing is going on between us? Continue to live every day wondering what happens to the two of you?” She could hear the controlled anger and frustration in his voice, “I can’t do it, Sierra. I won’t do it. I can’t comprehend leaving tonight and driving back to the city without either one of you.”
Sierra gasped at his confession, and he continued, “I want to give that little girl the best that I can. She is going to have the best of everything I can give her, including myself. You better realize that right now.”
Tears welling up in her eyes, Sierra begged his forgiveness, “I’m sorry, Cole.” She could see his expression morph as his anger dissipated and confusion replaced it. “I want her to get to know you. You do deserve to be in her life. I was so selfish.”
The tears were flowing freely down her face. His strong arms pulled her, lovingly, into his embrace. They stood there holding each other until her tears subsided. Hesitantly, she broke away to reach for the Kleenex and wipe her eyes and nose.
Cole was now standing a few feet away from her with his hands on his hips. She started to walk back towards him when he suddenly pulled her to him. His mouth came down on hers as he kissed her, passionately. She desperately clung to him as they continued kissing each other.
Reluctantly, he broke the kiss and slowly lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes, caressing her hair and talking softly to her, “Your eyes still hypnotize me, Sierra.” She gave him a shy smile. “Promise to
stop the crying and help me figure out what to do. We need to be a team for Skye’s sake. We both want her to be happy.”
“Okay.”
“Good girl. I’m going to have Denise call you next week for information. I’m going to need a lot from you to try and get caught up for the two years that I missed. I will also need all of her medical records. I will see my own physician and get more tests done on myself.”
“You’re right.”
“I usually am,” he said, lightening the mood a bit. Sierra smiled up at him. “That’s better. I’m not a monster, I’m a new father.” Sierra hugged him tighter and rested her head against his chest. “Do you hear my heart beating?”
“Uh-huh.”
“You do that to me.”
They broke their embrace when they heard her mother and Skye coming toward the kitchen. Before they entered, Cole gave Sierra another light kiss.
“Ole. Orsey,” Skye walked up and raised her arms to her father. Sierra laughed when Cole picked her up.
“Skye, my name is Cole. Just Cole.” Smiling at her, he then turned to the two women, laughing, “She’s going to think my name is Ole Orsey.” Both women laughed as Skye squealed in his arms.
It was getting dark when Sierra and Skye walked Cole out to his car. Knowing how difficult this was for him, Sierra watched with a heavy heart as Cole squatted down to say goodbye to his daughter, “I have to go bye-bye, Skye. I promise to see you soon, okay? Can I have a hug for the road?”
With her bunny ear hanging out of her mouth, Skye gave him a big hug around his neck, and he instructed, “You be a good girl for your Mommy.”
Sierra walked over to pick up the sleepy Skye. Cole stood up and glanced up at the dark sky overhead. She knew he was trying to control his emotions. He leaned over and gave them both a kiss on their cheeks. Without another word, he climbed into his car and drove away. Sierra held Skye a little tighter until he was out of sight and then went back inside.
Chapter 24
“No way! You realize that this is a made for TV, movie of the week, right?” Christine responded with animation as he recalled every detail of his trip to Ohio. She had come to his office on Tuesday to get caught up.
“This does not happen in real life. What was she thinking?” Christine paused to look at Cole, sitting behind his desk, resting his arms on it. When he just raised his eyebrow, she continued, “Seriously? Seriously. What are you planning to do? Bring Skye here? How would you take care of her and your company?”
Cole was trying hard not to grin, watching her as she put a voice to the same scenarios he had in his mind on the long drive home from Ohio, just days before.
He was emotional after he left Sierra and Skye and had gone back to the hotel, falling immediately into a deep, exhausted sleep. He had woken up early on Monday morning and made the long drive back to New York. Deciding to call Vanessa while he drove, he spoke with her at length and she helped him work out some of his emotions and gain perspective on a future that could include Skye and, possibly, Sierra.
Cole had taken some pictures when he and Skye had been playing in the backyard and had proudly shown them to Christine. Talking more to herself than to him, Cole cocked his head when Christine began her line of questions again, “No, that wouldn’t work. You are a father now. A father for crying out loud. You have an adorable little girl. She needs her daddy. She’s going to be a knockout when she grows up.”
Cole’s annoyance showed on his face, thinking that far ahead, as Christine continued her rant, “You have to move to her. You can’t take her away from her mother and grandparents.” Christine moved closer to his desk to stress her point, “You are going to have to move to O-HI-O. I’m going to lose a friend. That sucks, Cole. It’s the right thing to do, but it totally sucks.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, Christine. You parading around my office is not helping.”
“Uh, I just did help you. You are going to have to give up the city and buy a cowboy hat. Crap. I’m going to have to get a frequent flyer card to visit you. First class, of course.”
Cole turned his chair to look out the window and the city below, admiring the view, “I love the city. I’m not sure I’m ready to give her up.”
“Oh, yes, you are. Do you remember how upset you were when you called me the night you found out?” Soothing, but firm, she reminded him, “You were a wreck. Not just about Skye, but Sierra, too. You were furious, but I heard more.”
“I don’t remember much about that conversation. I had a lot to drink that night.”
“That’s why I’m reminding you. As angry and hurt as you were, you actually defended her.”
Cole turned to look at her. “I did?”
Christine closed the distance and stood in front of his desk, placing her hands flat on it, before continuing, “You did. You cursed her, and then told me she didn’t do it to hurt you. You told me that you thought she was just scared and confused.”
Cole tried to recall the conversation, but it was a blur. His phone interrupted his thoughts as Denise came through on the intercom, “Your attorney is in the waiting area.”
“Thanks. Send him in in a few minutes.” Cole looked back up at Christine. “I’m going to dinner with Zach and Carrie on Friday night. Want to join us?”
“Sure. Pick me up at 8:00.” She started toward the door; but turned and jabbed, “And Cole, one more thing….dibs on your apartment.”
He spent two hours with his attorney, asking questions and listening to advice. He learned that he could fight Sierra for custody and possibly even win, but it would be difficult for everyone. He knew he didn’t want to go that route. They discussed joint custody, but the logistics were making his head hurt. One week there, two weeks here, every other holiday, etc. It wasn’t what he wanted for Skye or himself.
His attorney then brought up the topic of child support and was worried about the amount he would have to pay. Cole got angry with him when it came to the issue of money and informed him that he would pay whatever the court or Sierra decided, and would not hide any assets. The thought of anyone doing that made him furious.
Because he felt that it wasn’t about the money, he didn’t want to hear anything else from the attorney and dismissed him.
After the attorney left, he asked Denise to come in. Because he was still upset about the conversation with the attorney and he trusted Denise, he spoke in earnest, “I know I gave you a brief synopsis of what was going on this morning. I would like to confide in you and get your opinion.”
When Denise nodded and sat down at his desk, he told her the entire story. He watched as her expressions changed with each new development. When he finally finished the entire story, she reached for a tissue, prompting him to ask, “Why are you crying?”
“You are a father now, Cole. I’m happy for you.”
“Happy? My daughter lives 600 miles away. Forgive me if I’m not feeling happy, right now.”
“Oh Cole, it wouldn’t matter if she lived 3,000 miles from here. Where is your heart, now?”
Cole was still upset, agitated from speaking with the attorney, when he responded, “I haven’t felt my heart in a long time, Denise. Quite frankly, I wasn’t sure if it worked.”
Watching him rub his forehead in frustration, she spoke from the heart, “I’ve always known that it worked, Cole. I’ve known you for a long time. I watched you grow into a man, practically overnight. You have always been generous: with my family, charities you care about, your grandmother…and I knew something happened with that young woman when she was here. I’m not too old to notice a change in you. You cared for her. Why are you trying so hard to fight it?”
He responded softly, “I don’t want to be like my parents. I don’t want any woman to change me like my mother did my father.”
He said it. Out loud. He finally admitted to himself why he was afraid of loving someone so much that it would change him.
Denise quietly crept over to stand beside him. She took
his hand in her own, assuring him, “Won’t happen. You are a thousand times better than him. Sierra isn’t anything like your mother. She is independent and caring. Your mother was selfish and cold. The only thing that will change is the love you create together…and with Skye.”
Cole could feel the moisture in his eyes and quickly blinked it away, finally admitting the imminent changes, “What about the company? How could I run it from there?”
Denise laughed softly, as she headed toward the door, “I’m sure a smart man like you can figure it out.”
Chapter 25
Sierra was sitting in her room after Skye went to bed. She hadn’t heard from Cole directly, but his assistant, Denise, had called her on Tuesday at work to get her personal information. Sierra had been on her lunch break, so she was able to talk. Denise was very caring over the phone and, as delicately as she could, asked her several questions regarding herself and Skye.
Sierra had been expecting the call and was apprehensive, at first, but Denise had shown compassion and understanding as they talked and Sierra felt very comfortable speaking with her. She appreciated the genuine concern, especially when Denise offered some unsolicited advice, “I know how difficult this must be for you. I want you to know that I understand why you were afraid to tell him, but I can assure you that he will do whatever he can to be a good father to Skye.”
“Thank you, Denise. I appreciate your concern and taking the time to talk with me.”
“It’s been my pleasure. Please take care of yourself and don’t hesitate to call me about….anything.”
The following night, Sierra booted up her computer. She tried to resume her task of house hunting, as she was trying hard to find the right home for her and Skye. As she started looking, she couldn’t help, but wonder how things would change.
Now that Cole was back in her life, should she wait before purchasing a home? Out of curiosity, she searched for homes in New York and was astounded by the prices, compared to the prices of properties in Ohio.
The Reluctant Cowboy Page 15