“I’m amazed. You seem so well adjusted and so comfortable with each other,” Patrick said. “I thought maybe…well, that you’d lucked out.”
“Are you saying you didn’t?” Ryan asked, his gaze sharpening. “What happened? Our folks didn’t abuse you, did they?”
There was a protective note in his voice that stunned Patrick. “No,” he said at once, not wanting them to get the wrong idea about his disenchantment with their parents. “Far from it. Daniel and I had it okay, actually. Mom and Dad did their best for us. Dad worked hard. I guess we were a typical family until Daniel and I found out about you guys. Then things kind of fell apart, at least for me. I couldn’t believe what they’d done to you. They refused to offer one word of explanation or apology, so I took off and moved over here. I’ve seen Daniel once or twice in the past few years, but I haven’t seen or spoken to Mom or Dad since I walked out. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look them in the eyes again.”
“You left because of us?” Sean said, sounding surprised.
Patrick nodded. “What they did, whatever reason they thought they had for doing it, it was wrong. It made me question everything I’d ever felt for them.”
“That must have been hard,” Michael said.
He was regarding Patrick with that sympathetic look that was beginning to get on his nerves. Why should his brothers feel sorry for him? They’d apparently gone through hell—or at least Ryan had—while Patrick had had a comparatively normal childhood. Evidently, though, they didn’t want or expect his sympathy.
It was all too damn confusing. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to get back to his boat, to walk away from all of the conflicting emotions roiling around inside him. As for going to Boston for the wedding of a man he’d just met—or felt as if he had—forget it. It wasn’t going to happen.
He stood up. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but I honestly don’t know why you came here. It can’t be because you want another brother in your lives, especially one who got all the love and attention you should have gotten. And I sure as hell don’t want to go to Boston and pretend that we’re family.”
“We are family,” Ryan said quietly. “There’s no escaping that. And we didn’t come here to mess up the life you’ve made for yourself. We just wanted you to know that we’re out there and if you ever need us, all you have to do is shout.”
They were being so nice, so reasonable, it made him want to scream. He didn’t deserve the way they were reaching out to him.
“Look, the way I see it, we’re not family, not in any way that counts,” Patrick said.
“We’ve got the same blood flowing through our veins,” Michael told him. “Devaney blood.”
Patrick frowned at that. “To tell you the truth, I’ve just about had my fill of being a Devaney.”
“Because of what our folks did to us?” Ryan asked. “We’re the ones who got abandoned, not you. We’re the ones who have a right to be angry, not you.”
“No, Daniel and I were just lied to our whole lives,” Patrick said bitterly. “Maybe that’s not the same as what you went through, but trust me, it makes you question just about everything—and it sure as hell doesn’t make you anxious to try the whole family thing on for size again.”
He was out of the bar before any of them could think of a response. Then again, maybe none of them even cared enough to stop him. This visit had been all about satisfying some innate curiosity, but they’d done that now.
All the way back to the dock, Patrick worked to convince himself that he didn’t give a damn whether they left the same way they’d come, without a word to let him know. He sank into a chair on the deck of his boat despite the chill in the air and sucked in a deep breath. If he’d expected the salt air and solitude to calm him, he was disappointed. He tried to focus on Alice, figuring a beautiful, tempting woman ought to be able to occupy his mind, but that failed him, too.
No matter what he tried, he couldn’t make himself stop thinking about meeting his brothers after all these years. He told himself that little instant of nostalgia back at Jess’s was just that, a momentary glimpse of a past so long ago it didn’t matter. He’d meant what he said—he’d had his fill of being a Devaney. The only one he missed these days was Daniel, but he’d made his peace with that, too.
Given the turmoil of his thoughts and his inability to put his brothers out of his head, he wasn’t totally stunned by the sound of footsteps approaching once again.
“Who’s there?” he called out with a resigned sigh.
“Your brothers,” a voice—Ryan’s—responded emphatically. “You’re not getting rid of us so easily, and we have three women back in Boston who will kill us if we don’t talk you into coming back for the wedding.”
“Knowing Ryan’s Maggie, she’ll come here and pester you till you give in,” Michael agreed. “And Deanna and Kelly are no slouches in the persuasion department, either. You may as well cave in now and save yourself the humiliation of letting them get the better of you.”
“Why would they care? Why would it matter to any of you whether I’m there or not?” he asked, completely bewildered that he mattered to people who were essentially strangers. His own parents and twin hadn’t pestered him to stick around when he’d left home. He was pretty sure his parents had been half-relieved to see him go after he’d put them on the defensive about the past. They lived less than thirty miles away and had never bothered to seek him out. After Patrick’s initial lack of welcome, Daniel had called a few times, but even he had given up eventually.
But these three strangers weren’t giving up. How ironic was that? They stepped into the dim beam of light coming up from below deck. Once again it was Ryan who responded.
“We want you there because you’re family,” he said simply.
“A helluva family,” Patrick noted.
“Yeah, well, we’re all getting used to it,” Sean said.
“We’ve all learned just how important family is,” Michael added quietly.
“And some of us had further to go in that regard than others,” Ryan added. “Believe me, if you’d run across me a few years back, you’d never have caught me touting the virtues of marriage and kids. Now I have a wife I adore, a little girl who can wrap me around her finger and a baby on the way.”
“Didn’t the thought of all that terrify you?” Patrick asked curiously.
“You’d better believe it,” Ryan admitted. “But once you meet Maggie, you’ll see why I didn’t stand a chance.”
“I know you might feel a little awkward and out of place at first, but it won’t last, believe me. Not with this crowd. Please, Patrick, won’t you come?” Michael asked. “After that, if it’s what you want, we’ll leave you in peace, but at least you’ll know where to find us if you ever change your mind and want us back in your life.”
Patrick doubted it was possible they could leave him in peace. It had been a long time since he’d found any peace inside himself. And now he was more churned up than ever. He had a thousand and one questions he didn’t want to have about these three brothers who’d popped into his life so unexpectedly.
He looked into three faces that were essentially mirror images of his own and nodded slowly. “What the hell? I’ve never been to Boston.”
Michael grasped his hand and shook it, then abandoned the polite gesture and pulled him into a bear hug that pretty much knocked the breath out of him.
“I was as skeptical as you, when these two tracked me down in a hospital in San Diego,” Michael told him, then grinned. “Turns out they’re not so bad.”
Patrick wasn’t anywhere near ready to let go of his skepticism. “I think I’ll reserve judgment,” he said stiffly.
“You’ve got every right,” Ryan said solemnly. “Mind if we ask you one more question?”
“I imagine you want to know about Daniel and our folks,” Patrick said.
Sean nodded. “You said you took off, so that must mean they don’t live here in Widow’s Cove. Wher
e are they?”
“Living about thirty miles from here last time I checked,” he said with undisguised bitterness.
“When was that?” Michael asked.
“Six years ago,” he said without emotion.
“And they haven’t come after you?” Sean asked, then shook his head. “I don’t know why the hell that should surprise me. They never looked for us.” He exchanged a look with the others. “As long as we’re this close, do you want to go over there?”
Ryan’s gaze turned to Patrick. “We could include Daniel at least in the wedding, or would that make things uncomfortable for you?”
“It’s up to Michael. It’s his wedding,” Patrick said grudgingly. He didn’t even attempt to hide his distaste at the idea.
Michael searched his face, then nodded slowly in apparent understanding of the unspoken message. “I think we can wait on contacting Daniel. At least we know where he is now.”
Ryan seemed about to protest, then nodded. “Your call.”
“I say we wait,” Michael said.
Patrick couldn’t hide his relief. “When the time comes, I’ll give you a phone number and an address. I doubt it’s changed since the last time I was in touch with them.”
Ryan studied him intently. “If you feel like telling us about your life, we don’t have anyplace we need to be till our flight back in the morning,” he said quietly.
Patrick suspected it wasn’t so much his life they cared about, but the family that had excluded them. He wasn’t up to it. It had been a day full of shocks, too many to end it by reliving one of the worst periods in his life.
He looked his oldest brother in the eye and promised, “Another time, okay?”
“That’s fine, then,” Ryan said agreeably. “We’ll get on back to our motel. You going fishing in the morning, or can you join us for breakfast?”
Patrick longed to say he was going fishing. It would be the truth. That was usually how he spent his Saturdays. But something compelled him to make the time for these three men who’d searched for him. Whatever their reasons were, however little he wanted to care about them, they were his brothers. He knew what that sort of relationship could mean. He and Daniel had been close once, able to talk about anything, able to count on each other. He’d lost that, and he found the possibility that he could have that sort of tightknit relationship again more alluring than he’d ever imagined possible.
“I’ll be at Jess’s at eight,” he said. “If you’re interested, Molly makes a pretty decent omelette.”
“The omelette sounds good,” Ryan said. “But the conversation sounds even better. We’ll see you then, little brother.”
Patrick watched the three of them walk off into the darkness with a sense of wonder. They looked as if they’d always been together, always been a team. And suddenly he felt more alone than he’d ever felt before.
Chapter Five
With the tables filled with locals and tourists, Molly was moving at her usual brisk pace when Patrick wandered into Jess’s. Her step faltered at the unusual sight of him at this hour on a Saturday morning, then she plastered a smile on her face.
“It must have been some night. You look like hell,” she said cheerfully. “Go on over to the bar and I’ll pour you a cup of strong coffee in a minute.”
“I’ll need a table,” Patrick responded. “Four cups of coffee.”
She nodded, clearly not half as startled by the request as he’d anticipated. “Over there, then.” She gestured toward a more private booth in the back. “I’ll be right there with the coffee.”
His brothers still hadn’t arrived by the time Molly brought the coffee, which meant she had no reason at all not to slip into the booth opposite him and study him with that frank, assessing look that meant she was about to start poking around in his life.
“Don’t start with me, Molly,” he said, hoping to forestall the inquisition.
“Is it a crime to want to know what’s going on in the life of a man I consider to be a friend? Alice told me that those were your brothers who turned up here last night. I think I have a right to be curious,” she said. Regarding him sympathetically, she asked, “Does Daniel know they’ve turned up?”
“I’m surprised you care what Daniel knows,” he said.
“I don’t,” she insisted. “I’m merely curious.”
“Okay, then, if it’s only to satisfy your curiosity, he doesn’t know,” Patrick said tightly. “At least not from me. Who knows what someone in here last night might have felt the need to pass along to him.”
She frowned at his testy tone. “Are you okay, Patrick? If you need to talk about this, you know I’ll listen.”
He shrugged off the question and the offer. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
She frowned at him. “Is that all I’m going to get out of you on the subject?”
“Yep.”
“Okay, fine,” she said, giving up a little too readily. “Let’s talk about you and Alice, instead.”
Patrick glowered at her, but she knew him too well to be intimidated. It was one of his greatest frustrations that he’d lost the power to keep some people at a distance. Molly was the first to breach his reserve. Now Alice was gathering insights like little nuggets she could assemble to figure him out.
“I suppose you think that’s off-limits, too,” Molly said, when he remained stubbornly silent.
“It is,” he said tightly. “Mainly because there is no me and Alice to discuss.”
Molly rolled her eyes, clearly not buying it. “If you say so.”
“I do,” he said quite firmly. “And here come my brothers now, so make yourself scarce. Don’t start poking and prodding at them.”
“I imagine you won’t object if I at least take your breakfast order?” she said tartly.
He grinned. “There you go, Molly. You could get the hang of being the polite hostess of this place yet.”
“Don’t count on it where you’re concerned,” she retorted, sliding out of the booth, then turning a beaming smile on his brothers. “Hi. I’m Molly. Your coffee’s in the pot on the table, and I’ll be back to take your order in a few minutes. As for him,” she said, nodding toward Patrick, “try teaching him some manners.”
“Too late for that, I imagine,” Ryan said, grinning back at her. “And I doubt he’d take advice from us, anyway.”
“You could at least try,” she said.
“What did you do to rile the lovely waitress?” Sean inquired, studying Patrick.
“The lovely waitress is the owner of this place, and she takes after her grandfather Jess,” Patrick said. “She thinks there’s nothing that goes on in here or in all of Widow’s Cove that’s not her business.”
“In other words, she was asking about us,” Michael guessed.
Patrick nodded. “And when I refused to satisfy her curiosity on that count, she moved on to Alice.”
“Which brings up a point,” Michael said. “It never occurred to me to ask last night, but would you like to bring her to the wedding?”
Patrick held up both hands. “Whoa! I barely know the woman. I don’t think a wedding is the best idea for a first date.”
“You’ve never even been out on a date with her?” Ryan asked, clearly shocked. “The two of you seemed pretty tight last night. You were awfully reluctant to let her leave.”
“We met earlier in the day,” Patrick explained, then told the story of Ricky Foster’s untimely nosedive off his pier.
“Interesting,” Sean said. “Our brother seems to be following our pattern of meeting his soul mate under unusual circumstances. Ryan’s Maggie wandered into his pub after having a flat tire on Thanksgiving eve. I met Deanna after I put out the fire that destroyed her apartment. And Kelly came into Michael’s life after he was shot.”
“Alice is not my soul mate,” Patrick protested, ignoring the fact that he had been more drawn to her than he had been to any other woman in a long time. That was chemistry, not some mystical connection. And whate
ver it was, he intended to ignore it, for sure.
“Denial,” Michael noted, grinning. “Another part of the pattern.”
“Yep, he’s got it bad,” Ryan teased.
Patrick gave the three of them a sour look. “Gee, if I’d known having big brothers was this much fun, I’d have gone hunting for you years ago.”
Molly arrived just then, looking particularly pleased to find them all laughing. “I’m delighted you all turned up when you did,” she said.
Ryan looked up at her. “Oh?”
“Patrick was getting a little too hermity, if you know what I mean.”
“Molly,” Patrick warned, his voice low.
She gave him an innocent look. “Is something wrong?”
“You’re treading on thin ice,” he said.
“Is that so?” She stomped her foot on the old oak floor. “Seems solid enough to me.” She turned to Ryan. “You seem like a man who knows his own mind. What can I get you?”
After she’d taken all their orders and gone, Ryan turned to Patrick. “Just how many women do you have in your life, little brother?”
“None,” he said flatly.
All three brothers hooted at that.
“Look, did you come here this morning just to pester me about my love life? If so, I can leave now and still get in a few hours of fishing.”
“I guess we’re crossing the line,” Sean said, though his eyes were twinkling with amusement.
“Definitely,” Michael agreed.
“But this is such a fascinating topic, I hate to pass on it,” Sean added.
“Maybe that’s because we’d rather hear about the women in Patrick’s life than talk about our folks,” Ryan said wryly.
Sean and Michael instantly sobered, all teasing gone from their expressions.
“You’ve got that right,” Sean said bitterly.
“Since I’m not crazy about talking about them, either, let’s not,” Patrick said. “We could talk about baseball. How do you guys think the Red Sox are going to do this year?”
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