“Did he indeed?” At the foot of the staircase, Alexa turned to say with cold, angry emphasis, “Please be sure to instruct all the servants, Mr. Bowles, that in future I am not at home to Embry. And if there are any notes or cards from him, they are not to be accepted!”
Chapter 42
“You look magnificent!” Lord Deering said fervently as Alexa descended the curving stairway. And even she, studying herself critically in the mirror a few moments before, could see no signs of the previous night’s lack of sleep or the carefully applied cosmetics she had used to make her look just as she did now. Just enough color in her lips and cheeks to look natural; and the dark smudges under her eyes seemed to have vanished, while her eyes themselves looked almost unnaturally large and brilliant. “Lovely!” Lord Charles repeated softly, as she paused with studied coquettishness on the bottom step to pose for him. Her mirror had already told her that she looked her best tonight, and her mirror at least was always uncompromisingly honest with her. The finest black lace trimmed with velvet over silver and gold brocade—full, flounced skirt spreading out from a tight basque bodice that came to a point at the waist. Her shoulders were bare, the low neckline of her gown trimmed with black and silver lace. And she wore diamonds about her throat, sparkling on each wrist, and in a magnificent tiara set in her bronze gold hair. Ah yes, she did look well today, and she looked rich, as well.
“How kind of you to offer to escort me this evening,” Alexa said in a low and purposefully meaningful voice as she looked up into his face for an instant before veiling her eyes behind long lashes. “I cannot tell you how grateful I was for your wonderfully understanding letter, without which... Oh, but I find now that I cannot put into words how lucky I am to have such a steadfast friend and ally.”
“Oh, Alexa—Lady Travers—” Charles seized both of her hands spontaneously in his and held them tightly while he continued in the same low, vibrant voice, “Surely you know—you must know by now—what my true feelings are for you? What they have always been? I could only wish...” And then with an apologetic, self-deprecating laugh he released her hands to shake his head ruefully. “You have a way of making me forget my surroundings, I’m afraid. And even your stern-looking butler and at least three footmen who are standing behind us in the hall. What can I say?”
She knew by now of course what he wanted to say, and it meant that her first step forward was accomplished, or soon would be. And the next would be Newbury, whom she still could not bear to think of as her father, and after that... Ah yes, of course. Belle-Mere. But this time it must be done in a different way. A more open, and yet more diffident manner. But first there was Charles, and fortunately he was more than eager to help her scheme, as he glanced rather doubtfully at his watch. “Oh dear! I suppose I was so impatient to get here that I did not stop to think of time. It is still only eight-thirty and they are not receiving yet, but if you don’t mind that I would be happy to think you might join the family in the small drawing room upstairs? I wish you would.”
Alexa demurred, avowing that it would not be proper or convenient at all, and invited him to join her for a glass of sherry in her library, where he could inspect some of her latest purchases. And just as she had expected, no sooner had Bowles served them the sherry and departed than Lord Deering begged her to consent to marrying him.
“I...oh dear, Lord Deering...Charles...” As she hung her head and pretended to stammer, Alexa could not help thinking cynically how easy it was after all to be—what had her aunt said?—a clever whore, who pretended to promise everything without giving anything of herself. “I am overcome, you must know that I am. But how can I consent to your gallant offer after... now? If nothing had happened...if...but I cannot possibly consent to ruining your life and your position in society.”
“My life? My position? Alexa! Ah, dear God!” Lord Charles had sprung up to pace about the room quite feverishly before he returned to stand before her and beg her to look at him and to tell him what answer she would have given him had he had the chance to ask her this same question yesterday while they were at Cremorne.
“I... Oh, it’s impossible! What difference can it make now? I suppose I would have at least agreed to consider it. But—you know what happened. And I know your uncle knows, and—how should I know how many others? What happened was vile, disgusting. It was...only look!”
When she unfastened her diamond bracelets one by one and he saw the bruises encircling her wrists, she heard him suck in his breath. “My God! Alexa...!”
Looking down, she said in a whisper: “There are the same kind of bruises around my ankles too. And so now you see why it is impossible for me to take advantage of you. Oh please, Charles, do not ask me again, and let me try and forget it! I am forcing myself to go out tonight only because it will be worse if I don’t face everybody now. If I hide away then everyone will think I am guilty, and if I do not, that I’m brazen. But I’d rather be called brazen than guilty when I know I am innocent!”
“If I had known the kind of man he is and how thin the veneer of civilized behavior he affects when it suits him, I would... Perhaps I will call him out, the unspeakable blackguard! That he dared treat a lady in such a fashion! That he... Oh, my poor darling girl, how you must have suffered! He...he took your virginity, did he not? Oh, I know your marriage to your ”Uncle“ John was one in name only! What does that matter in comparison to...”
“Charles, you must, you must promise me not to do anything so silly as to call him out. There’d be a worse scandal; and besides, he boasted to me of how many men he’s killed in duels when he was in New Orleans! Please. If anything happened to you...”
“Then you must say you will marry me in order to protect me! Do you think I care for anything but you? Let me protect you!”
“Well?” the Dowager Marchioness of Newbury cried irritably when her daughter, Lavinia, almost burst into her private sitting room. “And now what is it, for God’s sake? Is it tragedy or comedy this time?”
“Mama, it’s Charles! Why he didn’t say anything before, to his own mother at least... But he’s just become engaged, he says, to a widow. And he said that you knew of his intentions and approved!”
“Lavvy,” the Dowager said contemptuously, “you’ve always been a silly creature! Of course I approve. The woman’s rich as Croesus, and quite young to boot. And remember that Charles needs money, Lavvy. The boy’s got extravagant tastes. So, is that all?”
“I...well, you might laugh, Mama, but a mother always knows when something is amiss. All this closeting together of Charles and this female, and Newbury of all people. I should have the right to know what is going on with my own son, shouldn’t I? And there’s Embry stalking about with such an ugly look on his face that I for one feel quite afraid to go near him. He’s quite ignoring poor Helen too, and it is beginning to look quite obvious, I’m afraid. Mama...”
When after a less than perfunctory knock her door was flung open again, the Dowager merely sighed this time and raised an elegant eyebrow. “My dear Nicholas!. It’s so obvious you didn’t learn your manners anywhere on this continent!” And then, waving an impatient hand at her daughter, she said, “Oh very well, Lavvy, I’ll be down to see to things myself since Iris obviously cannot manage— after Embry and I have the set-to I can see the dear boy is spoiling for.”
With commendable patience Nicholas waited until the door had closed before he said between his gritted teeth, “More of your Machiavellian plotting and planning, Belle-Mere? And how is it that I can suddenly find myself engaged to a very young lady that I have not had the honor to propose to? By God...!”
“I wish you would stop being so Spanish, Nicholas, and at least sit down, so that I do not have to crane my neck to look up at you. And if you need explanations...”
“Oh indeed! I am waiting most anxiously to hear them!”
Giving him an exaggeratedly patient look, the Dowager folded her hands together on her lap and said, “And since I am needed downstairs to se
ttle all kinds of crises, I shall try to be brief. In fact, dear boy, the announcement was made so suddenly for your sake.” Catching his angry, incredulous look, she shook her head at him warningly and continued, “Do wait and hear me out before you start stamping around in a pet. And do not blame me for keeping it quiet, because to tell the truth I did not hear until very late last night that poor Deering and this Lady Travers had become secretly engaged and planned to make the official announcement as soon as her period of mourning is over.” She looked at him severely. “You behaved quite outrageously last night, you know. But that is Charles’s business now, I suppose. And as for my poor Helen, you have, after all, appeared to be paying public court to the chit, so that it had become expected. So, if you’ve been foolishly reckless enough to tell any of your cronies that you expect to marry Lady Travers just before she announces that she happens to be engaged to Lord Deering... Oh dear, Nicholas! You are surely not so obtuse as to not realize the obvious? And as for Helen, for goodness’ sake surely even you can’t be cruel enough to embarrass her so? And not only Helen, but all the rest of the family as well. Carry it off for her sake at least for a month or two— until the season’s ended at least. And then she can appear to have broken it off—don’t you see?”
“No, I’m afraid I do not, Belle-Mere.” He had been listening to her with his face hard and closed, and now he rose abruptly in one, almost feral motion, to stand looking down at her again while he said in a dangerously quiet voice: “I warned you once that I do not intend to let myself be manipulated—not by you or by anyone else. And although I might agree for Helen’s sake to let others think we are an engaged couple, I intend to tell Helen herself the truth, just so that there can be no future misunderstandings. I hope I make myself clear? And as for Alexa and Charles, you know he’s after the money, don’t you? Is that another of your cleverly arranged matches, Belle-Mere? Did someone in your confidence happen to tell her that my engagement to Helen was to be announced tonight?”
The Dowager’s laugh tinkled like a high silver bell. “Oh my dear Nicholas! You sound... Why, if I did not think I knew better I might imagine you had actually fallen in love! How very amusing!”
He had opened the door before he turned to look at her and say quietly, “I do not think you know me at all, Belle-Mere.”
The door closed firmly, and Adelina’s brow puckered in a thoughtful frown as she stared at it for some moments. And then, with a shrug, she gave an impatient tug at the bell cord. First things first! The ball and its minor attendant crises could wait for a few minutes longer, until she had talked to Newbury—and perhaps to Charles as well, in case his courage needed bolstering.
To the Dowager’s advantage, although she did not know it yet, Charles and Alexa had started up the stairs when Nicholas came down with his face as black as thunder and quite as furious, almost cannoning into them before he halted on the step above, his eyes narrowing unpleasantly as they dwelt on Alexa, and going down from her swiftly averted face that had suddenly gone pale to her hand that was clasped firmly in Charles’s. It was impossible for them to pass as long as he stood there deliberately barring their way, and of course he knew it, Charles thought furiously, his face reddening.
“What a coincidence, to be sure. How quickly the lady becomes engaged and disengaged! I’ve just been told. Or is it not official yet?”
“Embry, if it is your intention to make a scene...”
Nicholas drawled: “A scene? But why on earth should I make a scene, and over what? I must admit, though, that since we are all such close friends I am hurt that you two did not confide in me. Or was this something very sudden?”
“If you don’t mind, Alexa and I are going up to see my grandmother,” Charles said stiffly.
“Alexa has not yet confirmed or denied anything, has she? And it is not like her to be so subdued and silent. You must not feel guilty, sweet Alexa, for changing your mind, although you might have told me last night at least.”
“Why, you...!” Charles had begun when Alexa, clinging frantically to his hand, looked defiantly up at her tormentor.
“Stop it! Stop this...this hypocritical farce at once, do you hear me! Go back to your own fiancée and leave me alone.”
He ignored Charles as if he did not exist when he caught her hand clutched onto the banister, tugging it free. “Alexa, damn you, I want you to tell me the truth. You’ve decided to marry Charles? Just like that? Why, for God’s sake?”
Her voice was close to the breaking point and sounded almost hysterical as she tried to tug her aching wrist free of his grasp. .
“I...I love Charles, do you hear? I’ve—I’ve always loved him and I’m going to marry him. Is that enough for you? Is it? And now will you leave me alone? I wish I’d never have to see you again. I... Let go of me!”
“Isn’t that enough of an answer for you, you blackguard?” Charles said furiously. “By God, if I had a pistol...”
“You don’t, Deering. And I happen to have a knife, as your blackguards found out soon enough last night,” Nicholas said in a dangerously pleasant voice. “And as for my answer—well, so as not to appear a bad loser, am I at least allowed to give the prospective bride a congratulatory kiss? Since I’m obviously not going to be invited to the wedding...!”
He had taken her by surprise—damn him, damn him!— dropping her wrist as suddenly as he caught her chin to tilt it up. And he hadn’t kissed her for over a second or two either, just long enough to tell her something she didn’t need reminding of, especially with his gold chain lying about her hips. He had known it too—although his face didn’t move a muscle she had seen that dark flicker in the depths of his green eyes, like a crouching black panther—tail swishing. He knew how weak he made her, and she hated him for it and for his mocking farewell salute before he went past them. “Hasta luego, mi mentirosilla!” How dared he call her a little liar!
“Alexa, my dearest, never for the world would I have subjected you to such rudeness if I’d thought... You’re shaking, my love! Does seeing him frighten you that much?”
“He... Of course the sight of him upsets me! Can you blame me for it? And you saw how he acted, how he treated me. Oh, how I wish sometimes, that I had been born a man instead of a female! It is only our reputations that can so easily be ruined by some unscrupulous male, and never his, no matter how glaring his crime. ‘What a man boasts of, a woman confesses!’ How true it is of our society, and how unfair!”
“There’s trouble? Or is this only a lovers’ quarrel?” The Marquess of Newbury stood at the foot of the staircase gazing up at them with his usual rather aloof expression, and Alexa could not help the flush that stained her cheeks when she wondered how much he might have seen or overheard.
While she sought for words it was Lord Deering who said furiously: “It’s intolerable! You should have seen— and heard—how insolent he was just now with his hints and innuendoes and his complete lack of any trace of conscience. Not only did he speak without any show of respect, but he even went so far as to seize my fiancée forcibly by the wrist when she tried to evade him—and in front of me, mind you—and to force his so-called congratulatory kiss upon her as well. He has no idea, I tell you, of either civilized manners nor deportment! How can you, as head of the family, tolerate his outrageous behavior? It’s an insult to us all.”
“I’m afraid Embry is rather inclined to either ignore or deliberately flout our social codes,” the Marquess said rather absentmindedly. And then, quite obviously changing the subject, he said, “But why don’t we all go upstairs to my mother’s rooms? I am quite sure she will have some ideas as to how this matter should be dealt with.” He looked directly at Alexa for a moment before saying in a rather hard voice, “And it will be dealt with too, I assure you, Lady Travers.”
Alexa had spoken earlier with the Marquess of Newbury and had found it easier than she had anticipated, since she had not had to look at him directly but had been able to turn her head away or look down while she related,
with Charles prompting her, the story she had prepared for them all. At least he had assured her that he was flattered she had felt herself able to confide in him so frankly on a matter that he was sure must be unbearably painful for her to discuss. By not the slightest nuance in his speech or demeanor had he betrayed anything other than polite concern and support when she had virtually thrown herself on his mercy. And in no way had she allowed him to guess that she knew he had asked about her— -for her, Solange bad said—or that she was aware of the cellarlike apartment he kept at that discreet house of assignation and the purpose for which he used it. If she had let herself as much as think about it, she might have given herself away by shuddering each time he looked at her. -“You had better stop being such a greenhorn, my dear, if you mean to survive among these people you are dealing with!” Solange had warned Alexa when she had angrily criticized her for allowing such horribly evil things to go on in her establishment. “What did you think I was running here, anyway, an exclusive boarding school for girls? Anything goes in this kind of school, and my customers get anything they are willing to pay through the nose for. If they did not they would go elsewhere for it, and I’d soon be out of business! Newbury lets me alone now, I’m too old for him and he had his fill of me a long time ago, but he patronizes my place and he pays damn well, so he can have what he wants and do as he pleases—you understand? If you saw life and human nature from my point of view it would soon make you think differently about a lot of things, and it would make you as hard as nails too, the way I am. So take my advice and learn fast—or else step aside and out of their way before you’re stepped on and squashed like I was and your mother was too, in a way.”
No, Alexa had thought then; and now again she told herself the same thing. No! She was different, and she had the weapons with which to fight back. Hadn’t she already surprised them all by taking the war into their own camp, so to speak? Newbury couldn’t very well pursue her any longer, since she had openly appealed to him as head of his family to protect her reputation. And her convenient engagement to Lord Charles had helped her outface and outwit even Nicholas and would surely keep him away from her at a safe enough distance so that he could no longer continue to take advantage of her own treacherous senses, her purely physical weakness for a man her mind hated and distrusted. Now there was only the Dowager Marchioness to be faced in the very boudoir where she sat like a spider spinning her webs of intrigue and treachery— the most dangerous and yet the most telling confrontation of all.
Surrender to Love Page 50