by Lass Small
That made her fret a bit. Then she decided she’d tell him ahead of time. Maybe. How in this world could she mention casually, “I wear my underwear inside out because of the seams.”
Tom would think she was weird. He could be amused or he could reject her. Either way, her underwear would stay inside out. It would take an uncouth man to snub a woman because of seams. It would be a—test. Yes.
She wondered just when he would get to that—uh—debate?
Then she found she was rather startled with herself. She was cured of the man she’d thought was her man for all the rest of her life. Phillip obviously hadn’t thought so. He’d only wanted a woman. A reasonable woman. One who was available.
But she’d carelessly gotten pregnant. She? No! She recalled clearly saying that having unprotected sex at that time was chancy. Phillip had paid no attention and just stripped her down and...used her.
Ellen put her hand on her empty stomach and a big tear came down her cheek. Poor little almost baby. As soon as its daddy heard there would be a child, he’d left.
The fact that Phillip had left was a telling thing. He was responsible but he’d quickly ducked out. What a bastard the father of her child was.
Actually, the father leaving was, for her, A Great Escape.
How foolishly she’d suffered for losing him. And how she regretted losing the poor little baby.
That night, as the dinner began, the especially interested man who’d asked for her partnership was intense. His name was Harold and they called him Harry. His eyes sparkled and he smiled great. As Ellen recalled, so had the last man she’d thought she’d loved.
Ellen was courteous, but after the dinner was finished, she didn’t join the coaxing group nor did she encourage any man. She declined dancing just before Tom Keeper came to grab her hand. He was keyed, his breathing fast and a little loud. He said, “My God, I didn’t think I’d get here in time.”
She looked him over quickly and he was not limping or bandaged. So she grinned at him. Then she laughed softly as he watched her soberly. She said, “You’re here.”
“Can I kiss you in front of all these people?”
She blushed and laughed and barely shook her head. “That would be scandalous.”
He was holding her hand. He glanced around. “Nobody’s looking, kiss me.”
She laughed that soft way again and her eyes danced. She said, “Behave.”
Looking around, possessively holding her hand, he said, “How should I behave? Wickedly? Aggressively?”
“No. Like a gentleman.”
“I’ve forgotten how—gentlemen—act.”
“They are couth.”
In shock, Tom exclaimed, “They’ve lost a tooth?”
She giggled.
He smiled and looked at her with eyes that sparkled with life. He then saw only her. He was intense.
She chided, “Settle down.”
He scoffed, “Dreamer. How could I do something like that?”
“Hush.”
“If you’d come stay with me a night in my bed, I might be a trifle more calm—for a while.”
She repeated, “Hush.”
He went on, for maybe an hour or so. You’d have to keep helping me.”
“You are shocking.”
He smiled at her. “I’m not shocking. I’m hungry.”
She was serious. “The crew has left. The buffet is open, let’s go over there.”
He started saying, “—uhhhhhh. My hunger is not for food.”
“The only reason I came to this party, given by your mother and father, is that I thought you could be normal. Here, you’re just like every other hunting male.”
“No, I’m different.”
She hesitantly inquired, “I—probably—should not ask, but in what way are you different?”
“I’ve been careful. Up until now, I’ve been just as careful as a dog in a strange house who figures he ought not get on the sofa—as yet.”
She nodded. “Don’t get on the sofa.”
“damn.”
“If you can’t be normal and subtle, you ought to go hom—Well, you live here, but you’re acting just like the other guys.”
“Oh? What have they done?”
“Nothing. You came along at just the right time, but you’re no different than they!”
He asked rigidly, “The guys been hustling you?”
She had to laugh, but it was not a cheerful one.
In a hostile way, he urged, “Have they? I’ll run them out of here.”
“How come you knew immediately that they’d been hustling me?”
“They did that?”
“Hush! You’re exactly like them.”
He dismissed the parallel. He told her, “I’m not like them. I’ve been courting you for days and days. They’ve only just gotten here.”
She tilted her head. She asked softly, “What’s the difference?”
His eyes came down to her and he watched her. “I can see that it’s going to take longer than I figured. You’re a holdout.”
She thought of her recently past life and the lost lover, then the lost baby. She looked away. Was it ever different?
Tom asked, “Where did you go? You’ve left me.”
“I think I’ll see if there’s something I like on the buffet Excuse me.”
“I’m your host.”
She looked soberly at Tom. “You’re one of the hosts. You need to mingle.” She smiled lightly. “I’ll be around.” And she turned to leave.
He caught her arm. “Where you going?”
She looked up at him soberly. “I’ll see if your mother needs any help.”
Tom told her sober faced, “I haven’t gotten to tell you that you’re the most beautiful woman here. I’ve looked at them all.”
She tilted her head and looked around. She looked up at Tom and said, “I think you’ve missed some jewels. Look again.” And she went on off.
Ellen didn’t dance with anyone. She found several places she could work. The crew allowed it. They were puzzled but figured that way she could do as she chose. She obviously didn’t want to dance. She had made that clear. She was kind but final with every man who asked.
Mina observed Ellen and frowned at the pacing Tom who ignored everyone else. He watched and intruded to help with Ellen. She turned her back on him. They’d had a fight? How? Over what on this earth? How stupid of Tom.
John Keeper found a quick time when he asked his son, “Now what’ve you done?”
“Hell, who knows?”
That was in passing. Tom didn’t stop and discuss the problem. He was busy keeping track of Ellen.
John thought if Tom lost this one, he and Mina would probably disown their child. But just thinking the age of their baby, John began to suffer with his son. He went to Tom and urged, “Let me help.”
Tom looked at his dad and said, “It’ll be okay. She’s had a bad time.”
Tom went on off, leaving his daddy standing with his mouth open.
Mina came along and asked, “Catching flies?” Women never understand men.
John said, “Our youngest son is in pain.”
“That happens. Let him solve it.”
“How can you be that blunt.” He frowned at his wife.
She shrugged and her eyes were full of pain. “There is no way we can interfere. Leave him alone for now. Find ways to be with him after tonight.”
“How could she ignore him? He broke his neck, just about, to get here.”
“She’s been through enough before this. She’s been scalded and is careful of anything hot. He’ll have to convince her he’s kind and gentle and... caring.”
“Did you tell Tom that?”
Mina replied, “Two days ago.”
John sighed, “Well, hell.”
“I had to tell him!”
“No, no. I didn’t mean you. I just question real life. Nothing works out.”
Mina smiled. “Don’t get glum. It’ll be okay.”
“Now, how do you know that?”
Mina groaned and said, “My bones.”
“What’s the matter?”
She looked at him unkindly and complained, “All of the kids take after your side of the family!” And with that urgent information, she just walked on off.
A young woman came over and smiled at John. “Dance with me.”
John smiled but he thought: How come no man’s dancing with this little girl. Actually, she was listed as a woman.
John took the young thing out onto the cleared floor and they looked at each other and chatted. Who should come along with a patient look but his wife and another older man...who couldn’t dance.
John said to the man, “Switch.” And he released the young woman and took his wife to himself. She said, “Thank you, John.”
“I’ve done many things to help you out. Don’t forget them and give me the cold shoulder. I’m fragile.”
Mina lifted her eyebrows and questioned, “Fragile?”
“Yep. I need care and consideration. I’m very sensitive.”
Mina said drolly, “I hadn’t realized that.”
“When we get to go to our room finally, I’ll tell you exactly what all you need to know about me.”
With unpardonable drollness, his wife said, “I’m trembling in anticipation.”
“Any smart woman would know and feel that-away.” He did a perfect dip and looked at his wife with a sober face.
She began to smile.
“Don’t smile. I’m really ticked.”
Mina replied, “Fortunately, I’m rather tolerant tonight.”
“Who’s ticked you?” Then before she could say anything, he added, “—besides me?”
“Ellen.”
“Be kind. She’s had a hell of a life.”
“Most women do. They mostly manage.”
John frowned. “You? Are you saying your life has been hell? How?”
“To live with you...hush...I’m replying. To live with you clear out here on the tableland has been a real strain for me. I’ve survived because you are tolerable.”
“Only...tolerable?” He leaned his head back and frowned down at her.
“You are why I am out in this neck of the woods. You start turning difficult and I leave here really fast.”
“I’ll be more careful.”
Mina was somewhat droll. “That would be wise.”
“We’re a team.”
She clarified his words, “You listen and let me handle—whatever.”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “That’s about right. But the problem with me taking over and smoothing things out is that I can’t do it like you do. You’re so smooth. You solve anything when I’m still tearing my hair.”
“If you just paid attention, you’d learn to do it all yourself.”
He frowned. “It’s easier when I just turn it all over to you and forget it.”
“Yes.” She sighed and lay her head on his shoulder.
“I like it when you do that.”
“You’re a rock.”
“Stupid?”
“Supportive.”
He hugged her to him. “I love you, Mina.”
“Thank God you do.”
“Why do you say that?”
“If you didn’t love me, I’d probably have to go live with one of my sisters.”
“You’d have all your money.”
“I’d be lonely.”
“You only stay here to keep from being lonely?”
“I stay here because this is where you want to be.”
“Yeah. I love it here.”
She said, “I love you.”
His eyes got leaky and he smiled. He said, “That may very well be something we share.”
“We’ll see.”
The music stopped.
They parted just a tad. They looked at each other seriously. He smiled, and she said, “Don’t ever leave me.”
They ignored everyone else. He then said, “The only way I could ever leave you is if I died.”
She responded immediately, “Don’t do that.”
He hugged her.
Then they began to hear the people around them teasing and asking and laughing.
How strange that people are surprised by those who love each other. Such shared love is that rare.
Ellen had noticed the Keepers’ intense and serious exchange and their sweet shared hug. Her face was serious. She’d never had such a relationship.
Tom came to her and took her cold hand in his. He didn’t say anything, he just held her hand.
She looked up at him, and she found that he was watching her very seriously.
He told her, “This next dance is mine.”
She replied, “Okay.”
He said, “You’re supposed to say, Thank you, sir.’”
“No. The thank you is what you say. I just nod.”
Even their sassy exchange had been caused by watching the senior Keepers. The two had influenced the entire room. They generally did. Mina was special. But then, so was her husband. John was very kind. That’s why they had the place they did. But it was Mina who never would let anyone be fired. She always restructured them and found them a niche they could handle.
Five
It was rather late when the party broke up. That was because the Keepers’ parties were always such fun. They made it easy for the others to enjoy the time. The only two who weren’t in sync were Tom and Ellen.
He asked her, “What’s changed your mind? It wasn’t me. I wasn’t around, so it must have been a comment by someone else and about me.”
“No.” She put her hand on his arm and said, “It’s just me. Leave me be. You’re better off that way.” Then she leaned up and kissed his chin, but she was gone before he could control his surprise and get hold of her.
Ellen leaving Tom that way harmed his view of himself. He’d thought he’d really had a chance with her. What had changed her mind? She was only one of the slew of women who had abandoned him. And he blamed himself.
But he didn’t know what he could have done that had cooled her so fast. He went to his room and stripped off his clothes.
What had happened during the party? Well, everybody else had had a great time. It had been noisy and filled with laughter.
What had happened with Ellen?
Tom’s mind went over everything he could think of to find out. He had no clue. She’d been okay when he’d asked for all the dances. What had botched that? Who had said what to her that had ruined everything? He knew it was not his parents.
Who, then.
He went over all the people there. None was an enemy, snide or sly. They were good people.
He finished putting on his jogging clothes and again went out into the night. He had a path he could follow that was boring as all hell, but he could follow it without thinking about it at all.
The night men called to him and laughed and some even jogged alongside him for a while. Night at a silent place was boring. No outbursts or problems. They were all grateful to be bored.
However, no one forgot that there was the shot horse that had been killed the year before. The horse had been under the fence-snipper Andrew Parsons’ leg. The horse had been out beyond for a couple of days. It had happened on far Keeper land. Andrew’s dog had found Tom at a rill. The dog had been so dehydrated that Tom had been careful of the dog who was leery of the man.
It was the pilot Rip who’d flown the dog back along the dog’s trail and found Andrew. And it was Rip who’d taken to Andrew’s sister, Lu.
Lu’s brother, Andrew, was just recently married to a fine woman, and she had changed him amazingly. Who would ever believe that could have happened. Andrew had been such a snob, but he’d adjusted himself to this world, and everything had turned out right
For them.
But for Tom Keeper, life was getting long in the tooth and frustrating. Here, his attention had been caught by a woman who’d been badly used by a selfish man. How could
Tom help her heal so that she could love him? How could he save her from a nothing life? How could he communicate with her?
He’d thought they were going to make it together. What had happened that she’d withdrawn from him? Not just from him but from all people.
When his body began complaining about the jogging, Tom finally went back to the big house. There he went in quietly—and the night man moved so that Tom knew he was being watched. Tom lifted his hand and said, “It’s me,” as he went up the stairs to his room and stripped off the sweat-soaked garments. Then he went into his bath and stood under the shower.
Ellen had heard Tom’s hushed comment to the man patroling that portion of the house. She’d heard Tom go up the stairs very quietly. Then she could faintly hear his showering up on the second floor. She’d looked at her watch. Why was he so late getting to bed? Where had he gone? To whom?
Why did she want to know?
Unless there were too many invited guests, the crew always ate with the Keepers. It was routine. So at breakfast somebody asked, “Who the hell—”
“Heck.” Mrs. Keeper replaced the word without looking up.
“—heck was out last night running around and making all the dogs bark!”
It wasn’t even a question. He wanted Tom to respond.
Tom said, “I wasn’t sleepy.” Tom had not only admitted it was he but he communicated his sleeplessness.
Those at the table all laughed.
Everybody knew Tom Keeper was still frustrated and restless. That’s how things went in an isolated place. Everybody knew everything...just about right away.
The amazing part of it all is that while they teased and laughed, they gave their support. They wobbled Tom’s shoulders and chided him. But he knew they were his friends. No one was pleased that he—hurt.
Everybody watched Ellen. And their ears widened and perked up because it was obvious she was in the worst doldrums a human could find. She was suffering.
They told Tom, “You ought to talk to her. There’s something wrong. She doesn’t leave here, she’s just drooping around.”
Tom looked for Ellen.
He found her in one of the tiny libraries on the second floor. She looked up at him like a sick animal who is trying to hide away and die.