There has been many a time that he has come into my room to wake me from a nightmare or simply to calm me from my furies when I destroy my room. The others know about my nightmares and about how I struggle, but they don’t know how bad it is.
“He’ll carry on having his beauty sleep because I’m not bonding with Scarlett.” I state and see the shock on all my brothers faces.
“What the fuck!” Bjarni grunts
“Why the fuck not, isn’t she your mate?” Draco roars, I know my brothers are going to give me a hard time about this, but I need to be strong. I can’t bond with Scarlett and expose her to all my darkness, no matter what, that’s just not going to happen.
“She is.” I growl, “but it doesn’t matter.”
“No fucking way, you will bond with her even if I have to hold you down while she rides you.” The only reason I don’t punch Burkhart right now is because I know that he says this because he’s worried about me turning.
“Enough” Draco roars as everyone is commenting angrily. “Cassius, after this meeting we’re having a talk.” His stare leaves no room for arguments. “Let’s continue, Tor is having problems with Keres in Cape Town. He called to let us know that he might need help, therefore be prepared, we might need to leave in a hurry to go and give him a hand.” Everyone nods in agreement.
“Okay, is there anything else anyone wants to put forward.” Draco asks as he looks around the table.
“I do.” Bion says, looking at him I see that he looks nervous. Interesting Bion doesn’t usually get flustered, whatever he wants to talk about must be intense. “I want to marry Brielle.” At his words everyone sits in shock staring at him and then Burkhart throws his head back and roars with laughter.
“You guys are all so fucked.” He says between hoots of laughter as he looks around at all the mated guys. “Your women will all want to get married.” I can see Wulf and Ceric’s disgruntled looks making me smile in amusement.
“Why the fuck you wanna do that, you already mated. It’s stronger than the normal wedding ceremony.” Bjarni grumbles
“Brielle was saying the other day that ever since she was a teenager that she dreamt of getting married. You might not know this, but women dig that shit.” Bion states
“Fuck” Bjarni grunts with such a condemned look on his face that I burst out laughing.
“What the fuck are you laughing at, you might not want to be bonded but it’s going to happen, and then you just as fucked as us.” Brandr quips with a raised eyebrow. That sobers me up, has Scarlett also dreamt of getting married? Am I also taking that away from her?
How can I stop it though? If I don’t bond with her, I can’t hold her here. I can feel my rage rising at the thought of her hitching herself to some other guy. Fuck it, I will just make sure that any guy that approaches her finds out that it’s bad for his health to look at her. But how can I let her go when she will be in danger, and we have already told Kade that he can work on the cars and bikes, and the kid is excited about it.
“Not so funny anymore is it?” Brandr asks with a smirk.
“What do you want to do?” Draco asks with a bored look on his face.
“I want to have the ceremony in the woods, soon that area by the stream will be full of wild flowers. The priest can marry us there, we can invite the other chapters and the women will love it. We can keep them busy organizing it, but I don’t want Brie to know. I want it to be a surprise.” He says with a grin on his face.
“You such a pussy.” Ceric grumbles
“Fuck off. You just upset you didn’t think about it and your women is going to be upset with you.” Bion replies.
“When do you want this wedding?” Draco asks
“Next month”
“Anyone against it?” Draco asks as he looks around the table. The guys might be grumbling about it but none of us would stand in the way of one of our brothers making his woman happy.
“I guess we’re having a wedding.” Draco declares, “One more thing, Bjarni how are the babies and Gabriela?”
I see Bjarni’s face transform into a big smile as he puffs out his chest in excitement. Gabriela nearly died a couple of weeks ago, Bion had to give her an emergency caesarean. But the babies and Gabriela pulled through. I feel a tightness around my heart when I think that I will never have that. I had dreamed once about having a woman of my own and a couple of kids, but that fucker took that away from me. Now I’m just a polluted shell of the person I was, I can’t expose Scarlett to that or bring any children into this world where their father is broken and unable to give them the love that they need.
“My babies are great.” He preens making the guys laugh at his happiness, “We should have the naming ceremony in another couple of weeks.”
“Good, what about Aria?” Draco asks Brandr
“She’s doing fine.” He mutters, “except that the baby isn’t letting her sleep much anymore and she gets irritable.” The dejected look on his face makes me shake my head in pity for him. I now know how wrenching it is when our woman isn’t doing fine and I’m not even bonded yet. I can only imagine at how much more intense it is for them.
“Try massaging her back that helped sometimes with Jas.” Wulf suggests
“You can also try placing your hand over her stomach during the night, my babies calmed down some when I did that.” Bjarni persuades, suddenly Draco throws back his head and roars with laughter.
“This has turned into a fucking mate support group.” He says with a laugh as he shakes his head, “You have all turned into pussies.”
“Piss off” Wulf growls, “Just you wait until you find yours, you going to be worse than all of us put together.”
“Not a chance, my mate will do what I tell her.” he declares
“Good luck to that.” Ceric grumbles, “One thing they have taught us is that they do not follow orders too well.” He reveals as he rubs at his face with his hands.
“Enough of this, meeting adjourned, be ready to go when I tell you. I’m just waiting for confirmation from Alexey and we’ll be off.” Draco orders, at his words the brothers all start to leave and I continue sitting, waiting for them to leave and Draco’s questioning.
“You want to tell me what the problem is?” he asks with a raised brow.
“Don’t know what you mean, there’s no problem.” I state and know it’s the wrong thing to say when I see his nostrils flare in anger. His muscles tense as he’s eyes turn a glacial blue, warning me that his pissed.
“Don’t fuck with me; you know damn well what I mean. Why the fuck don’t you want to bond with your mate?” he roars making me flinch. Draco is an impressive sight when his angry and anyone would be stupid to take it lightly if that anger is directed at them.
“I can’t bond with her Draco, you know the darkness within me. I won’t expose her to it.” I confess
“She’s your mate!” he snaps, “that means you are made for each other, to help each other through darkness and light.”
“She’s already been through enough because of me Draco, she nearly died.” I roar, losing my calmness as I try to explain to him why I’m doing this, even though I don’t want to. I would give anything to bond to Scarlett, to have her next to me every day, maybe have kids. My stomach clenches at the knowledge that I will never have that, my anger rising because Merdor stole that from me. Even in death he still haunts me.
“Cassius” he calls, his voice slightly calmer “You know you have to bond with her, you don’t have an option. You know you close to turning, all of us know you close to turning. She will stop that, the darkness you are feeling will lighten with your woman’s energy entwining with yours.”
“Yeah, mine will lighten and hers will darken. Can’t you see that I can’t do that to her, I’m broken.” I hate that I have to open myself like this, but I know that Draco has been worried about me turning. I made him promise to end me when the time comes and I know that is something that he doesn’t want to do.
�
��She’s just as broken, can’t you see that you both need each other.” Draco says angrily. My heart tightens at his words.
“What do you mean, she’s just as broken?” my voice is low and I know if he didn’t have such good hearing he wouldn’t have heard me.
“Cassius just trust me, she needs you just as much as you need her.” he states
“Draco” I state angrily, “What do you mean?” in my anger I stand the chair crashing back against the floor. If there is something wrong with Scarlett I need to know, I have a right to know.
“Fuck Cassius,” Draco roars, “Let’s just say that it wasn’t a pick nick her stay with Merdor. She’s going to need you.”
“I want to see her file.” My voice is guttural in my rage, but I need to know what they did to my woman.
“I will give you her file once you have bonded with her and there is no chance of you turning.” Draco states with finality in his voice that I know there is no chance of him changing his mind. He is still sitting at his chair, but I can see his muscles straining with his agitation.
“That is bullshit,” I growl
“Tell me Cassius, if I give you her file and you see all the things they did to her will you be able to keep your rage down. Will you be able to hold yourself back from turning with the fury that will take you from knowing what they did to your woman?” at his words I bang my fist down on the table in frustration, knowing that he has won. I would never be able to hold back the fury that would overtake me, if what he’s suggesting is on that file.
“Motherfuckers” I roar, imagining the pain my woman must have gone through. Draco stands and comes around the table towards me. He places his hands on my shoulders and looks deep into my eyes.
“Cassius, I’m asking you. Please bond with your woman, you need her and she needs you.” He states, “and I don’t wanna fucking have to kill you.” His voice when he utters the last comes out in a growl but I can see the anguish in his eyes.
I wish I could appease him, I wish he and all the brothers didn’t have to worry about me like they do, but I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t know if I can subject Scarlett to eternity with me. “I’ll think about what you said.” I murmur before I turn and make my way out of the computer room.
As I step outside I see that most of the brothers are in the Kitchen, Celmund is leaning just outside the door his arms crossed. I can see he’s been waiting for me but I shake my head to let him know that I don’t want to talk now. I see his shoulders stoop in dejection but he lets me walk away.
I have no direction in mind, I want to go to Scarlett but I stop myself. I need to think, I need to try and calm myself before I can go and see her again. Therefore I turn to make my way outside, as I walk past the bar I see that Burkhart is sitting on one of the couches with Gloria one of our Jezebels on his lap. He looks at me as I leave but he doesn’t say anything.
As I step outside I see that Aria, Nova and Jasmine with Orion are walking towards me. I look at the Garage to see if any of the brothers were keeping an eye on them and notice that Gunner and Kade are in the garage. “Hi” the women great as they approach.
“Hey, it’s a good think I ran into you. Do you ladies want to buy new furniture for my room?” I know that they love to shop, and here I am giving them a reason to spend my money. Most of my furniture is broken from my fits of rage. I need to get new stuff in there so Scarlett can move in and be comfortable. There is no way I could take her into my room now.
“Sure” Nova says excitedly, “What do you want us to get?”
“Everything you think I might need.” I pull out my wallet from my back pocket, and then hand over my bank card to Jasmine. “The old stuff just get Sven to toss.”
“How much can we spend?” Aria asks with a raised eyebrow as she strokes her stomach.
“As much as you need, there is no limit.” As Elemental’s we get a lot of money from different legitimate businesses that we have and from our gun smuggling for the Russian Mafia. I don’t usually spend money unless I’m buying another bike or car. The money just keeps on accumulating, we are all wealthy in our own right but none of us really cares much for money. We are together because we have become a family and because the elemental’s MC is our life.
I can see the women’s eyes brighten at not having a limit, I might come to regret it, but I don’t care as long as my room looks decent for Scarlett, they can do what they want.
“Great, do you have any particular requirements?” Nova asks
I shake my head, “No, you can ask Scarlett what she likes and get whatever she wants.” There are splitting grins on their faces at my suggestion.
“Great, we’ll get started straight away.” Jasmine states, all three women start to move away already discussing what they think they should get.
“Thanks” I call, having them do this takes a weight off my shoulders. I know that my room is a disaster and when the women see it they will be shocked, but when my spells of rage overtake me I destroy everything around me. My bed has been broken a long time ago, for a few months that I’ve been sleeping on the mattress on the ground. Celmund has wanted to buy me new stuff but I had refused before as I didn’t expect to find my mate and thought it all a waste.
But now Scarlett can stay there, even if we don’t mate she should be comfortable in my room. I don’t want her to leave; she needs to stay here to be safe. I can’t think about what Draco said right now, because I know that I will lose my shit, already I can feel the fury coursing just under my skin waiting to explode. I need to keep away; I can’t be close to her. I know that Draco said we both need each other, but he doesn’t know that there is nothing left of me to give. Scarlett is better off without me than with me around.
I need to keep away, I need to think.
SCARLETT 4
“Where is he?” I ask Brielle, it has been three days that I haven’t seen Cassius. Since the day he left with Bion for the meeting that he hasn’t been back to see me. Everyday Brielle comes to help me, all the women have been here to introduce themselves and they seem great. Some of the guys have come to welcome me, but Cassius hasn’t been back. I have a suspicion that he comes to see me when I’m sleeping at night because when I wake up in the morning his unique fragrance surrounds me.
“I don’t know, Celmund and Draco say he’s fine that he’s on a job.” She says
“Do you know when he will be back?” I’ve missed his presence, sometimes the memories overtake me and then I’m there all over again. Bion says that I can leave the infirmary tomorrow if everything keeps on going as well as it’s going. Aria mentioned that Cassius had asked them to buy new furniture for his room so I can feel more comfortable when I move in. Therefore I know that he wants me here, but why is he keeping away when he was by my side every single day while I was in a coma.
“Doesn’t he want me?” I murmur, if he doesn’t want me as his mate I don’t know what I’m going to do. Only his presence calms me, without him I will be lost. These last few days have been agonising, I constantly fight my memories but sometimes they have a way of revealing themselves no matter how much I fight them.
“It’s not that, you see when Elemental’s mate it’s forever, there is no going back no getting out of it once it’s done. Bion says that he’s adamant that he doesn’t want you stuck with him because he’s broken.” Brielle says with sadness in her face, “Scarlett, there is a constant fight within that man. When the women went into his room to take measurements and see what furniture he needed they were shocked to say the least. His room was destroyed, his furniture broken so bad that it was irreparable.” There is a catch in her voice before she continues. “He’s been sleeping on a matrass on the floor.”
“Why?” I can feel my heart constrict at the thought of his pain.
“He was tortured by the Keres for months on end. Bion says that when they got him back he was a shell of what he had been before.”
“But he can’t decide what is best for me without talking to
me first.” I rage, “He doesn’t even know if I want him like that or not. How dare he think that he can make this decision for me?” I state angrily
“He doesn’t come to see you because he knows that it will be nearly impossible for him to keep away from you like that. He knows that once he’s near his willpower is weak.” Brielle confesses.
“Will you help me.” I ask, I need to make him see that he won’t break me like he thinks he will. How can he break me when I’m already broken? If anything, he mends me when he’s close.
“Of course, but I don’t see how.” She states with a questioning look.
“I need to get him here to talk to him.” I persuade, Brielle looks at me for a few minutes and then she smiles.
“You know, our men can’t keep away from us if we’re in danger or if we need them. Maybe all we need to do is get you to phone him and tell him that you need him.” She says with a smile.
That wouldn’t be a lie, I do need him, but will he listen to me if he’s so adamant on not bonding with me? “Are you sure that will work?”
“No, but it’s worth a try.” She suggests.
“Okay, let’s phone him.” Might as well get this over with, if he doesn’t come then I will just have to think of another way. Brielle pulls out her phone and dials his number passing the phone over to me. As soon as I take the phone my stomach starts to cramp nervously, what if he refuses to see me or worse yet what if he refuses to talk to me.
“Brielle!” his voice is a deep vortex that can suck me in with its potency. With just that one word I can feel peace finally return again to my being. “Is everything okay, is Scarlett okay?” I hear concern in his voice.
“Cassius” I murmur and hear his intake of breath at my voice.
“Scarlett?” he asks, “are you okay?” at the tone of tenderness in his voice I feel all my muscles relaxing.
CASSIUS Page 3