Other Side of the Wall

by Jennifer Peel

  I looked up at him through the mirror. “I’m not kidding; even my momma was admiring you in the pool this morning.”

  A wicked grin spread across his face. “Speaking of the pool, do you swim every morning? Because I could seriously get used to waking up to that every day.”

  I pointed my comb at him. “Don’t let my daddy or my brother hear you talking like that.”

  “Yeah, your dad already grilled me today.”

  I cringed. “Sorry about that, I had feeling that was going to happen. I hope it wasn’t too bad.”

  He walked over and jumped on the counter near me, so he was facing me. “It wasn’t too bad, I only had to blood oath swear we’ve never had sex together and that I hadn’t slept with anyone else the whole time we were dating and while you’ve been here.”

  I looked directly in his eyes and nervously bit my lip. “And so…were you able to, you know…make that oath?”

  He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Ava, the last person I slept with was my wife and you’re the only woman I’ve even kissed since then. The only woman I’ve wanted to. Ok?”

  I let out a huge breath. I don’t know why. No, I do know why. I couldn’t stand the thought of him being with anyone else but me, and I was worried about what he and Beth had done together. And if he had, I knew it would have been a deal breaker for me.

  I shook my head. “Ok.”

  He ran his finger softly down the side of my cheek. “I’m sorry that I’ve even made you question that.” He clapped his hands together. “Ok, now that we’ve cleared that up, and you look gorgeous already, let’s go get something to eat because I’m starving. Your dad is a task master.”

  I smiled up at him. “Ok. Just give me two more minutes.”

  He jumped off the counter and kissed my cheek. “I’ll meet you in the living room.”

  As soon as he left, I took another deep breath and slowly let it out. I thought, maybe this will really all be ok. I finished my makeup as Scott repeatedly told me the two minute warning was up. I didn’t care, I wanted to look my best, and I had been waiting for him for a lot longer than two minutes. I walked out, and as he stood up and walked toward me, he reached for my hand. I didn’t hesitate this time, I just placed my hand in his and we walked out together.

  He led me to his rental car. It was a nice rental car too, a Lexus convertible, and surprisingly not a hybrid. I have nothing against hybrids other than the fact that Jenna thought if you didn’t drive one, you were evil. As he opened my door, I commented on the car.

  “I wanted to make sure I drove you around in style,” he responded.

  I just shook my head at him.

  As soon as he got in, he turned toward me. “Ok, this is your hometown. Where to?”

  “I know the perfect place.”

  It was a quiet, small, out of the way place mostly frequented by locals, which was nice. I told him where to drive. Because the hour was late, we missed the dinner rush. They were able to seat us right away in a small, cozy circular booth. This place served a variety of dishes; they didn’t just stick with one nationality. That was one of the things I liked about it, and they frequently changed up their menu.

  Scott and I sat close to one another in the middle and studied our menu. I decided on their special which was grilled salmon placed on cheesy grits with a side of seasoned greened beans. Scott ordered their citrus tapenade game hen. That sounded yummy too. We decided we would be sharing since both dishes sounded decadent. The ambiance of the restaurant was perfect. The low lighting and the lit Christmas trees made me feel all warm and in the spirit of the season. I think Scott had something to do with it, too, and they served complimentary hot wassail this time of year. It was quite lovely.

  Scott turned to me, and our faces were mere inches apart. He reached up and he tucked my hair behind ear. “Have I mentioned how much I missed you?”

  “A time or two,” I responded with a smile.

  “Well, I’m telling you again. I missed you, Ava.”

  “I missed you too.”

  He grinned.

  “But don’t let it go to your head. You still have a lot of explaining and possibly begging to do.”

  He leaned his forehead against mine. “I will beg and explain and beg some more, but let’s enjoy dinner first, just you and me.” He lightly brushed my lips once.

  I had missed kissing him, but I wasn’t going to get carried away with it because it would only cloud my judgment, and I needed my wits about me.

  As we sat there waiting for our food and drinking our wassail he offered up some surprising information. “So, I ran into Peter last week.”

  I set down my drink. “Really, how odd. Did he say anything to you?”

  He looked at me funny. “We ended up having coffee together.”

  “Ok. That’s really odd. Why?”

  “He asked about you and if we were still in touch and it just kind of ended up being two guys commiserating over their stupidity and losing the woman they loved, in our case the same woman.”

  I looked over at him. “You’re not going to become buddy-buddy with my ex-husband are you? Because that would be a tad weird for me.”

  He shook his head. “No. Neither of us appreciates the feelings the other has for you.”

  “You know I don’t feel that way about it him, right?”

  “Yes, we both know. Obviously, one of us is very happy about it. But I think he took great pleasure in telling me what a, let’s just say jerk, I am.”

  I could only imagine what word Peter actually used.

  “He reminded me that I was lucky that you were even willing to love again after what he had done to you. He also told me if he had any chance at all, he wouldn’t be in Chicago.”

  “Is that why you’re here?”

  He touched my cheek. “No, I didn’t need your ex-husband to tell me that. I already had plans to come, I just moved up the timeframe.”

  “When were you going to come?”

  “After I fixed myself.” He sort of laughed. “But I knew that was going to take too long. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind taking a fixer-upper knowing that I’m better with you than without.”

  I looked into those sincere blue eyes. “I don’t know, Scott. I know the kind of work that goes into fixer-uppers, and what happens at the end when I don’t get a return on my investment.”

  “Who says there has to be an end?”

  “Scott, according to you we didn’t even have a beginning.”

  He gave me a pained look. “Ava, if I could go back and re-do Thanksgiving, I would. Honestly, there are lots of things I would re-do, but I can’t. But, I’m here and I love you and I’m working through my problems with Dr. Heard one on one.”

  That tidbit surprised me, but it made me very happy.

  “I like Dr. Heard.”

  “Yes, she likes you too and, off the record, she said I was a real dope to let you go.”

  I grinned. “So is that her clinical diagnosis of you? Dope?”

  He winked. “Something like that.”

  “Are you still going to the bereavement group?” I asked hesitantly.

  “No, Ava, nor am I associating with anyone from it.” He wickedly grinned. “That’s what you really wanted to know, right?”

  Just then dinner arrived. It was perfect timing. I ignored Scott’s last comment, but he kissed me sweetly on the side of my head. “I know, Ava. Be…”

  I didn’t let him finish her name. I never wanted to hear that psycho’s name ever again.

  He looked at me thoughtfully. “She was a serious lapse of judgment, you were completely right about her. Can you ever forgive me?”

  I smiled coyly. “I’ll think about it.”

  He kissed my head sweetly again, and then we began to eat; it was fabulous, but the conversation was much more pleasant. We talked about his family, what they were doing for Christmas, and all the Langston family traditions like snowmobiling and midnight mass. I thought maybe s
omeday I would get to be part of them if we could work this all out.

  I was glad to hear he was seeing Dr. Heard. I know for some women that would be a turn off or they would see it as a sign of weakness, but not me. I saw it as a strength, and it gave me hope that maybe he really did love me.

  On the way back to the car, Scott kept me close with his arm around me. It was actually colder than normal, so sharing Scott’s body heat was a definite plus. Ok, and I liked being close to him. When we got to the car, I looked up at him. “Thanks for dinner.”

  He bent down and kissed me ever so lightly. “I hope this isn’t the end of the evening.”

  “No way, you still have some explaining to do.”

  He gave me a wry smile.

  “I know it’s kind of cool out, but do you want to take a walk on the beach?” I offered up.

  “That sounds nice but…,” he said as he embraced me. “I’m thinking you and me in the hot tub together sounds better.”

  “Oh, you think so?”

  “Definitely. Why I never took you swimming before, or anywhere you needed to wear a swimsuit, is beyond me. I’ve been missing out for months.”

  I playfully smacked him.

  “You know my parents can see that hot tub from their window.”

  “I know, and as hard as it may be, I promise to behave.”

  I rolled my eyes but agreed. Let’s just say Scott drove us home very quickly.

  Men.

  Chapter 17

  We met back in the hot tub, and he was all smiles as he stared at me in my bright blue suit. He looked fabulous, and I couldn’t help staring either. I just hoped my parents weren’t staring. The lights in the house were off, but that didn’t mean anything. My brother and I had found that out, to our detriment, when we were younger and tried to sneak out once. I don’t even remember what we were sneaking out to do, but we never made it.

  Scott was already in the water when I made it out. I got in on the opposite side from where he was sitting. He looked at me disappointedly.

  “Being close to you is a distraction,” I explained.

  He didn’t listen. In one fell swoop he moved to my side of the tub and was by my side, smiling somewhat naughtily. “I think you can handle it,” he said. “I think we’ve spent enough time apart, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” I responded cautiously. I did feel that way, but I was so afraid to give away too much to him. Part of me so wanted to do just that. I wanted to tell him I loved him and we should move forward, but I worried he was just on the up part of the yo-yo and we would come crashing down again. I could see in his eyes he recognized my hesitation and tentativeness.

  He held my face with his wet hands and lovingly gazed at me. “Ava, please tell me what you want.”

  I felt the tears forming, and I couldn’t stop them. I looked into those beautiful blue eyes of his. “I want something I know I can’t have, Scott. I don’t want to be the other woman anymore. The one that only gets part of your thoughts and your heart. I want to be the only woman you love. I know that makes me selfish, but I’m tired of sharing you with Jenna and being second best and feeling like I’m in a competition where I can never win.”

  He began wiping away my tears with his thumbs and he kissed a few away too. “Ava, honey, you can’t cry or your dad and your brother might kill me.”

  I smiled through my tears.

  “Ava, this isn’t a competition. And if it was, you would win.”

  I just shook my head at him like I didn’t hear him right.

  “Why do think I’ve had such a hard time with this and why, at times, I’ve pulled away?”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Ava, so many times I found myself feeling guilty and confused because I was supposed to be in mourning and not falling in love more deeply and more completely than I ever had before. There were times I was with you and I wished I had met you first. But then I would go home and remember that I promised Jenna I would always love her. I would try and stay away from you, but my heart demanded to be with you and so I would try again hoping the guilt would go away and I would be free just to be with you, because I wanted to be with you. Then as time went on and we grew closer, I knew we were hitting the point of no return and so instead of dealing with it like I should have, I acted cowardly and ran from it and hurt you and pushed you away in the process. And then you left and I felt like someone had sucker punched me. I’ve never felt so alone or afraid in my life.” He brushed away some more tears and pulled me on his lap and held me. “You’re just going to keep crying aren’t you?” he asked sweetly.

  I just shook my head yes against his chest. I was just trying to process and take in everything he was saying.

  “Well, if I have to die, this is a good way to go,” he teased. He began to stroke my hair. “Ava, I love you. You’re not the other woman in my life. Yes, someone came before you and part of me will always love her, but you own my heart and it’s yours for the taking, if you still want it. You do still want it, don’t you?” he asked nervously.

  I shook my head against his bare chest. “I think so.”

  He leaned down and pulled away so he could see my face. “You only think so?”

  “Scott, I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, but I’m scared. I’m scared you’ll get scared again, I’m scared of not being with you because I feel like I’m not myself when you’re gone. And I’m….”

  I didn’t get to finish because his lips found mine and I found that’s exactly where I needed them to be. I melted into him and just sank into his tender, long slow kiss. As he kissed me, I could feel that he loved me. But I think the kiss may have gone on too long for my daddy’s taste, because suddenly the whole backyard was lit up.

  Scott gently placed me off of his lap and we both laughed. I couldn’t see my daddy, but I had no doubt who was behind it. Scott turned to me. “Maybe we should do a few laps in the pool. I for one could cool off.”

  Reluctantly I got out of the warm water and made my way to the pool. Sure it was heated, but after being in the hot tub I knew it would feel cool at first. We both dove in and swam a few laps. Then we met by the small waterfall in the pool. Scott kissed me briefly, but I could tell he was nervous we were being watched. He had great survival instincts. But he risked holding me close. “Ava, we’ll take things slowly, and I’ll prove to you I’m not going anywhere. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect, but I’m working on it.”

  “So you’re not promising me perfection?”

  He squeezed me tight. “No, just me.”

  “All of you?”

  He let go of me and touched my cheek and smiled. “Every last bit.”

  I kissed him once in response.

  Then he said if he was going to live, we better say goodnight. I told him that was a good idea. He walked me to my door and quickly kissed me, just in case. “I love you,” he said.

  I repeated the sentiment, and it felt so right. I noticed as soon as he was in the house, the backyard magically went dark. I had to laugh to myself.

  I went to bed that night, knowing who would be at the top of my blessings list. It was the first night in weeks I felt completely at peace. I slept like a baby all the way through the night. It was blissful and long overdue. I woke up to the sound of rain, which wasn’t a good sound. At least not when the next day a couple of hundred people were coming over and you still had outdoor preparations that needed to be done.

  I got up quickly, got ready, and ran to the main house. My parents were up and at the table. My usually calm and graceful momma looked a little fretful as she looked outside at the weather. My daddy was looking at his tablet and the weather trying to tell her it would be ok, it was just going to be a quick passing shower.

  They both turned their attention to me when I sat down at the table. “Good morning, how was your date last night, darlin’?” my daddy asked.

  I smiled. “Perfect, thank you for the light show.”

  My parents grinned
knowingly.

  “Is Scott up yet?”

  “I think so,” my momma replied.

  I headed for the stairs. “Where do you think you’re going?” my parents said in stereo.

  “To see Scott.” Wasn’t that obvious?

  “You can wait until he comes downstairs,” my daddy said.

  I walked over to my daddy and put my arms around him. “Daddy, I love you.”

  He hugged me tight. “I know you do, that’s why you’ll stay downstairs.”

  “If it will make you feel better,” I said. Then I sat down.

  He looked at me and then at my momma. “I feel better already.”

  My momma and I both laughed at him.

  Not too much later, Scott came down. He came up to me first and kissed my cheek. “Good morning,” he said. But I noticed he glanced at my daddy first as if to see if it was ok to proceed. I had to smile.

  My daddy looked up from his tablet. “Good morning, Scott. Are you ready for some more painstakingly hard work?”

  “Looking forward to it, sir.”

  He really was a kiss up, but in the very best kind of way.

  “Daddy, let me at least make him something to eat first.”

  My daddy just winked. But of course my momma insisted that he eat.

  I hopped down from the elevated chair. Scott followed me into the kitchen. My parents could still see us as the floor plan was open and the eating area opened up to the kitchen. So there would definitely be no kissing in the kitchen.

  “Is an omelet ok?”

  “Sounds great,” he replied. “Hey, my mom called this morning and she got an early Christmas present.”

  “That’s fun, what is it?”

  “Deanna’s pregnant.”

  I looked at him from the refrigerator. “Really? That’s wonderful. When is she due?”

  “July. My mom said she’ll call you later to get your recommendation. She wants the best doctor and hospital for her grandbaby.”

  “Of course. I can’t wait to talk to her. I’m sure she’s just thrilled.”

  I walked to the stovetop with ingredients in hand. When I set them down, Scott came up from behind and wrapped his arms around me. “One day it will be you and me.” Before he let go, he kissed my cheek.