by George Cole
“Hey man, I know you can beat this bad boy. Just remember, it’s pass or fail. Don’t worry about getting every question right,” said his friend.
“Thanks Bud. I’ll see you on the other side,” smiled Colt.
Tall blonde Greta led Colt outside to the two-story building where he would take the exam. She walked up the stairs with Colt behind. At the halfway point, Colt felt throbbing, dizzying pain and stopped to regain his equilibrium. Greta turned at the top and looked back at Colt, who was grabbing the railing. Her face was pale with fear. After what seemed to both of them to be hours rather than minutes, Colt continued up. At the top of the stairs Greta held the door open. Colt felt a strong urge to leave. As his mind created numerous, logical reasons why he should not attempt to take the exam, his legs dragged him forward. Before he could turn around, he was in.
Chapter 29
------Email-------
From: Bower, Suzy[[email protected]]
To: Strong, Amy[[email protected]]
Subject: Find out the truth
--------------------------------------------
Hi Amy
Before you send Colt to hell for hurting you, find out what really happened. I hear rumors that it wasn’t just Colt messing up here.
Your Friend SusyQ
------Email-------
Colt looked around the empty exam room. It was no more than a cubicle with two personal computers and a telephone. The silence was thick and Colt could hear his own scattered thoughts bouncing around inside his throbbing head. The pulsating pain and an increasing ringing in his ears made Colt feel unfocused and angry. Crap, this is like being in a coffin. If the walls were any closer I'd choke to death.
He read the instructions on the computer screen and began. After reading the first question, which was long and tiring, the throbbing pain increased along with the scattering of his thought waves. He was tempted to click on an answer without re-reading the question or looking at the detail of the possible answers. Damn, these answers all look the same and are really long too. If they’re all like this I’ll never finish. Colt took his time and eventually decided on the answer he wanted. However, when he tried to move the mouse, his beaten hand ached along with his head. After switching the mouse to the other hand, he marked the question and continued. The next question was short and he recognized the answer immediately, which raised his hopes but did not lessen the effects of his injuries. Maybe I can get through this after all. If half of the questions are like this, I should be okay. The next three questions were similar to the first in complexity and length. Colt became frustrated and angry. He had now completed five questions, but could only be sure that one was correct. As he read the other questions again and again, he became more confused. Damn it all. I'll never be able to do this. He feared that his ability to perform was lost in the pain of his battered body and might not return, at least not today. In his mind a large black clock with glowing yellow dials was hovering over his head ticking away the seconds and minutes.
Colt stopped to gain his composure. I'm not in the zone they talk about. I don’t even feel close to being in the zone. I don’t even remember what a zone is. A sense of failure assaulted him. He thought of Amy and the mess with Alison Monroe. He thought about a future of failure and mediocrity. I can’t even get past the first thing. The foundational building blocks that he had expected to fall into place were now transformed into nondescript buildings being blasted apart by a nuclear explosion. A bleak world remained; a science fiction world of devastation and emptiness.
As Colt began to feel faint and dizzy, he raised a hand to his head with eyes closed. He saw red flashes of lightening in black storm clouds. Hmmm, where have I seen those before? He knew that he was supposed to be focusing on something, but he couldn't remember what that something was. The red storm came at him and the ringing in his ears became a vibrating roar. As he tried to escape from the angry storm, he found refuge in a pleasant humming sound that calmed him. That's better. Sooo peaceful. The still roaring wind was not as pronounced and the humming sound had taken on a melodic quality. As he vibrated with the humming sound, Colt became merged with the storm that had now transformed into an ethereal wind. He was uplifted and pulled along in a universal current. His mind no longer functioned in the usual way. Everything seemed so far beneath him, so far behind him.
Colt floated and floated, not knowing where he was or where he was going to. Time was no longer something that bore down upon him, but a wisp of a memory. The storm of hatred was gone. The ethereal sky that he now inhabited was serene and joyous. Nothing could penetrate this new sublime world. As he adjusted to this new experience, Colt’s inner eyes began to open. He could make out the colors white and blue with a hint of purple. The indistinct colors were gently massaging and healing him. When he surrendered to the feeling of serenity and peace, he realized that he was seeing clouds. They were light, fluffy, billowing, but most of all, friendly clouds. He knew he had been in those clouds before, but that exact memory was not with him now. It was another memory of a distant, forgotten place that had no hold over him.
In this new place, everything seemed so natural to Colt. He didn't worry about recent events or the test while hovering in the ethereal cloud bank. His attention was slowly pulled toward a hazy white glow. For a brief moment it seemed like something he should remember, but he forgot why. As he turned toward the glow it became brilliant, blinding him. He absorbed this new experience without emotional reaction or conscious thought. He was a sponge for the light coming toward him. Again, he automatically adjusted and by doing so, allowed himself to merge with the light.
What had been overpowering incandescence now became individual beams of pure white light that emanated from an angelic face. It was an ageless face, a woman’s face. As she came into focus, he could feel her personality and thoughts. Her blue eyes were like the depths of the sea. They penetrated into his soul with love and playfulness. Her bright, scintillating hair sparked with ever-changing crimson flashes. The vibrating, emanating light made her cream-colored face seem reflective of an inner sun.
As he became accustomed to the blanket of distinct rays, Colt connected to the angelic being like high branches on a tree connecting with its own roots. In an instant, he digested the imprinted thoughts that the angelic woman was transmitting to him. There was no conscious thinking, but an understanding in a deeper part of him. The experience was of enormous impact, but had a light, matter-of-fact feel to it.
Although Colt had traveled far away from what was known to him, he knew that the arc of his journey was a boomerang back to himself. As he began to feel a shift to that other familiar place, he could hear music and words. They guided him and imbued him with a sense of lightness akin to the place he was leaving. He recognized the song as "Take Me Home" by Phil Collins. The music never sounded so good.
Chapter 30
------Email-------
From: O’Brien, Leona[[email protected]]
To: Wise, Deborah[[email protected]]
Subject: Thanks
-------------------------------------------------
Debbie
I'm so happy we talked. I didn't know how messed up Ali was. That woman is poison to my Son. I feel like I'm partially responsible for asking him to go over to her house. And, he tried to break it off without causing any problems. I just love him that much more. I think I know how I can make it up to him
Thanks again
Leona
------Email-------
Colt was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the small exam room. Dreamlike memories danced in his head along with words and music from the Phil Collins song, “Take Me Home”. I guess I know what an out-of-body experience is, but I wonder who that woman was. And that music. Where did that come from? He smiled, still feeling a joyous glow. I guess I won’t have enough time to finish the test after all of that. Whatever, I gave it a shot. An inner sense nudged him,
but he took little notice. The pain from his injuries had subsided. His mind felt un-cluttered and razor-sharp. As he looked at the computer screen, he noticed a timer in the lower left corner. It displayed “1 hour 58 minutes remaining in this exam”. Wow, that can’t be true. It felt like I was gone for hours.
The next exam question beckoned to Colt, who did not feel that it mattered if he passed, failed or even finished. At the same time the music and words to the song became more prominent. It was as if as if the song, which was very clear, was a river carrying him along on a lazy day. Everything seemed so un-important now. His encounter with the angelic woman made him feel that he was connected to a benign universe, that his life was destined to come out alright. He didn't feel a sense of urgency about anything. In his mind, the exam mattered little in the grand scheme of things. Whatever, Dude. The world will keep spinning. Still, the feeling that he should continue answering questions became stronger and the music changed into a tidal wave that pushed him forward.
As if talking to an overbearing parent, he said aloud, “Okay, okay, I’m doing it even if it doesn’t matter.”
Then, something occurred that startled Colt. So far his experience, as different as it was, had felt like a dream and it was difficult for him to see it as anything else. Now in a waking state, he heard something that validated what had happened to him. A woman’s voice came to him. It was an audible, melodic whisper.
The clear, feminine voice said with conviction, “Listen to the music and finish what you came here to do.”
He obeyed without question. Colt was surprised when he saw how obvious the answer to the question displayed on the screen was. The next question was longer and had five possible answers that were almost identical. As Colt became frustrated, the music soothed him. After a brief internal struggle, Colt became calm and analytical. He re-read the question and carefully read all five answers. He saw that two answers were incorrect, which narrowed the possible answers to three. After looking at the three remaining answers, he noticed that two of the questions had identical words, but the order was reversed. He eliminated the third remaining answer from his mental list. Now, Colt paused to reflect. He knew something had changed within himself and that it was a permanent change. I'm not the same. That going into the light thing made me different. Processing the test questions had become easy. Most of all, he had a logical system to decipher the questions, which gave him an optimal chance of providing the correct response. And the music in his head provided a rhythm that became an internal compass, aiding in his ability to focus. Yeah baby. Now, I'm in the zone. I'm really in the zone.
Colt moved through the remainder of the exam with ease. He remembered playing soccer; how natural and enjoyable it had been. As if he was playing a sport again, Colt flowed through the exam without straining. At times, he moved fast, but when necessary slowed to fully comprehend a question. To Colt, he was competing again, which made him feel confident and fulfilled. When he reached the end of the exam, he returned to the four marked questions. Two were correct and two were incorrect. He didn't question how he knew if an answer was right or wrong. It was obvious to him now.
The music inside Colt’s head stopped. That must mean I’m done. After he clicked on a button with the words “End Exam”, a screen displayed a complete list of all questions. After verifying that he had not skipped any questions, he clicked again to continue. In the middle of the screen at the left he saw the word “pass” and beneath the word “fail”. Before he knew what had happened, a horizontal green bar flashed across the screen. There were numbers above it, designating the percentage of correct answers. He had been confident and expected a good score, but was not prepared for what he saw.
As Colt walked toward the door, a dizzy feeling came over him. His body felt like it had been bounced around in an empty cement mixer. Uh, oh. Here we go again. I should have known this great feeling wouldn’t last. It was fortunate that there was a railing at the top of the outside stairs. He held on as the world spun around him, trying to find an anchor point. After a few seconds, Colt was able to steady himself enough to look down to the wet asphalt below. What he saw did not make sense to him. There were at least thirty people looking up with anticipation. He wondered why they were there. Are they waiting for me?
A familiar voice shouted up to him, “Well, did you pass?”
Colt recognized his father’s voice, but still did not realize why he was there. As he tried to remember what he was there for, all the events of the day flooded into his head. Trying to make sense of everything, he was overwhelmed. It was as if his mind was a small cup overflowing with an ocean of experiences. When he started to feel like he was about to go over a raging waterfall, he saw the crimson-haired angel lady. She was smiling at him.
“I got them all. I got them all,” he said.
Colt felt a firm hand grab his arm as he slipped into darkness.
Chapter 31
------Email-------
From: O’Brien, Kelly[[email protected]]
To: Strong, Amy[[email protected]]
Subject: Let’s talk
----------------------------------------------------
Amy
Let’s talk. I know you were hurt by what happened with Ali Monroe. It wasn’t really Colt’s fault. And it was before you guys started going out. Our whole family would really like you to be at the celebration of Colt’s getting the certification. Why don’t you come over to the house for a visit?
Kelly
------Email-------
It was Saturday morning. The entire family would be attending the victory celebration in honor of the certification program, in general, and Colt in particular. Colt sat on the couch in front of the TV, channel-hopping while Leona made breakfast in the kitchen. Pleasant aromas wafted throughout the kitchen and living room. The smell of coffee, bacon, eggs and toast caused Colt's stomach to growl. He turned around and craned his head to look into the kitchen. Man, isn't it ready yet? I'm starved. His sister, Kelly, was helping her mother. Having a big event for just passing a test seemed like overkill to Colt, but he was now a believer in the leadership of the program. Every time he had expressed doubts about why things were done, he ended up being wrong. If there was a party, he would be there.
It had been a week since the exam and Colt felt great. His wounds had healed but he was still trying to understand what had happened during the exam. Many questions remained but the happiness of that day still was present. Much of what occurred was difficult for him to comprehend and some parts seemed so other-worldly that he did not trust that it had been real at all. It was still difficult to understand why he was able to perform so well on the exam. It all seemed so real, but he could not find a way to incorporate the experience into his young mind. However, as much as he wanted to deny that any of the more esoteric parts were real, he had an unshakable, positive sense that the universe was a wonderful place. His self-esteem remained consistently high with an inner compass resolutely pointing toward success and growth. The only vexing thing in his life was that he had not been contacted by Amy. He thought about her constantly. I know one thing. Nothing is the same, no matter what I try to tell myself. I can’t get pissed off about anything, even if I want to.
After Leona called the family into the dining room, they all began to eat. Colt attacked the eggs, and fried potatoes that overflowed his plate. As he took a sip of dark coffee, he saw that his mother's eyes were starting to glisten.
“I know we don’t eat together as a family very often anymore. I'm so happy on this wonderful day that we could all be here,” said Leona.
“This is great, Mom. You too, Sis,” said Colt.
Tears of joy were now streaming down Leona's face as she waved both of her hands. She quickly gave up the losing battle of holding back the tears.
“I wasn't going to cry, but I can't help it. Your father has something to say, Colt,” said Leona.
“Son,
your mother and I are very proud of you. I've talked to various individuals about this program you're in and I saw firsthand that it works. It's great that you joined and made the commitment. Everybody can see the obstacles you overcame to pass that exam and earn the certification. We think that you made a huge step toward securing a bright future with the effort you put in.”
“Thanks Dad. I feel like it has changed me for the better,” said Colt.
“And that whole business with my ex-friend, Ali Monroe, is over. We know you were falsely accused,” said Leona with a fierce look in her eyes.
Colt thought he saw his father wink behind a brief smirk. He felt that he had connected with his dad at last. Whether it was passing the exam or the incident with the older woman was a mystery, but he didn’t care.
Man, it's like a miracle. The old man knows who I am.
Although he had stopped looking to his father for fulfillment, he couldn't ignore the new bond that he felt. Colt sensed that a missing piece in his life was now in place.
A light knock came at the front door. Colt thought, who could that be? His father rose and went to the door while the two women smiled. In a few moments, Colt’s heart stopped beating and hope sprung up like wildflowers after a drought.
Amy Strong walked over and hugged Kelly, who was now standing. Amy was wearing a white chiffon blouse with a gray skirt. Nylons below and pearls above gave her a sophisticated appearance. Her satin brown hair was hanging down around her shoulders. To Colt, she looked stunning. He started to become misty-eyed himself.
Amy looked at Leona and Robert.
“Thank you for inviting me. Through everything, I've always felt that I was a part of this family,” she said.
“You always will be, dear,” said Leona.