by Mary Ellis
Elizabeth twisted her paper napkin into a corded rope. “If I understood you correctly, Caleb doesn’t wish to change our district’s policies. This is something meant solely for him, to heal his shame.”
Eli emitted a sound akin to a dog’s bark. “Heal his shame, bah. That sounds like feeling sorry for yourself after you fell into the hog pen. When all you need to do is climb out and wash off.” He picked up his mug and drank deeply.
“In his own way, isn’t that what Caleb is trying to do? If he plans to join our church and start following our Ordnung at the next communion service, then I don’t think you should judge him. Or try to prevent this.”
“We’re not to call attention to ourselves in this showy fashion. That is for the Englisch Christian believers.” Eli opened his mouth to say more, but clamped his lips together instead. His expression, however, didn’t soften.
“You asked for my advice, ehemann, and now I’ve given it to you. I believe you should tread carefully on thin ice.”
“Danki for your opinion.” It appeared to take great effort for the bishop to utter those four words. “Now if I can trouble you for a bowl of oatmeal, I need to get ready for work. Jack and the crew will arrive in thirty minutes.”
“It would be my pleasure.” Elizabeth patted his arm and set about her normal morning routine. But she didn’t need to see his pinched frown or the sag of his shoulders to realize his disappointment. Eli had expected her to support his decision, not just as their bishop, but as her husband and head of the family. Parents often turned to each other for a united front when teenagers tested the limits of household rules. And in the past she would have gone along even if she didn’t agree one hundred percent. For everyone’s well-being, it was important that a child didn’t divide and conquer.
But Caleb wasn’t a child. He wasn’t even a teenager anymore. He was a grown man who was suffering from his past mistakes. Caleb had approached his father as an adult and offered respect for Eli’s dual roles in his life. His decision had been reached after months of struggle. And frankly, what would it hurt? Sometimes exceptions should be made to their Ordnung, exceptions that could restore a man’s soul and bring peace to their household.
“Please, Lord, shine Your healing light on my son,” she prayed. “And give Your loyal servant Eli wisdom and patience to deal with this crisis.”
When Elizabeth opened her eyes, her basket of laundry still needed to be folded, a kettle of water was boiling away on the stove, and the saucepan of oats was just beginning to thicken. On the surface, everything was business as usual for the Beachys that morning. But something had changed—a shift on their family’s axis. Whether or not Eli ever accepted Caleb’s choices, she knew her son would find his true path in the Plain community. Of that, she was absolutely certain.
On the last Saturday in October Josie hopped in her two-seater buggy pulled by their fastest Standardbred and arrived at the Beachy farm shortly after nine o’clock. She knew she would be early, but didn’t wish to hang around her house any longer. One of her parents would try to talk her out of participating in today’s momentous event.
Momentous for Caleb, and also for her.
Both Mamm and Daed hated the thought of Caleb going against district rules and their Ordnung in this fashion. When Josie admitted the idea had been hers, their expressions rivaled the time they’d witnessed a monkey manning the reins of an elephant while wearing a red top hat. After the elder Yoders recovered their wits, they took turns making doom-and-gloom predictions that could stem from Caleb’s rash actions. Daed concluded that if this led to a delay in joining the church for another year, their hands would be tied. After all, Caleb’s father was the bishop. Mamm sat wringing her hands in her lap all throughout breakfast. “I had such high hopes,” she had muttered more than once.
Josie nodded with proper respect and deference and then packed the cooler with her special four-bean salad, along with a roaster of fried chicken. She’d orchestrated a covered dish picnic after Caleb’s baptism, just like the Wilsons had for their congregation. With no clue as to how many people would brave censure to show up, it had been difficult to decide upon a logical amount of food. Sarah assured her that baked beans would arrive at the park even if she didn’t. Angela Wilson promised to make potato salad and another pan of chicken wings. She also volunteered use of her chest freezer for leftovers, in case the number of guests was fewer than ten.
Let the Lord work out the details. Josie repeated what she’d seen on a calendar page all the way to the Beachys. By the time she knocked timidly on their back door she had full faith in the words, even if her parents didn’t.
Elizabeth separated the curtains and gaped at her. “Why are you here so early, Josie? Caleb didn’t expect you for another hour. He’s still in the shower.”
“I was eager to get started,” Josie called as the curtains dropped in place.
A moment later Elizabeth yanked open the door. “Why are you standing there instead of coming inside? It’s chilly today. Let’s hope the sun shows its face this afternoon.”
“Nein, I’m content to wait for Cal out here.” Josie pointed at the porch swing.
“Don’t be foolish. The bishop is at our neighbors’ if that’s why you’re hiding.” Elizabeth’s brows knitted together to form one.
Josie stepped across the threshold and headed to the closest chair. As usual, something sugary with cinnamon and nutmeg scented the air, whetting her appetite. She spied a tray of muffins on the stove. Blessedly, Elizabeth carried her basket of ironing into the front room, leaving Josie alone with her thoughts. For what seemed like hours she listened to running water, the tick-tock of the wall clock, and the occasional honk of migrating geese beyond the windows. With flagging courage, Josie pondered her daed’s dire warning and wondered if she had indeed lost her mind as Mamm suggested. But when Caleb exited the bathroom a short time later, dressed in black pants, mustfa vest, and white shirt, her anxiety vanished.
“Guder mariye, liewi,” he said.
It wasn’t his expression of surprise, followed by unabashed joy. It wasn’t the tender endearment used with his normal greeting. It was his face full of hope that allowed her to relax. Gone were the dark circles beneath his eyes and deep creases around his mouth. Caleb looked like a content man for the first time since his return home.
“Good morning, my love.” Her matching reply was in English.
“Has it warmed up any?” Caleb brushed a kiss across her forehead on his way to the stove.
“Not a single degree, but at least the rain barrel wasn’t coated with ice when I left this morning.”
“I’m relieved to hear that.” Caleb poured two mugs of coffee, added plenty of milk and sugar to hers, and sipped his black. “It would have been nice if your idea had come to you in July rather than October.” He stated this matter-of-factly without a trace of discouragement in his voice.
“Jah, I agree. But this will prove you’re a man of convictions.” She grinned over the rim of her mug. “Are you ready?”
“As much as I’ll ever be. Will Michelle’s preacher need to go into the cold water too?”
“Of course. He can’t very well baptize from a rowboat. Angela said he’ll wade in waist-deep. You, on the other hand, will get completely wet.”
Caleb reflected for a moment and then glanced at the wall clock, which seemed not to move. “I packed extra clothes as Pete instructed so I can change, plus a couple of towels. He’s bringing me a pair of flip flops so I won’t walk on the squishy bottom. I have my own Bible, but I guess the minister will bring his. I’ve studied the questions he sent in the mail and prepared what I will say to each one. I’m as ready as I ever will be. Thank you, Josie.” He spoke in English, not their familiar Deutsch, perhaps in keeping with today’s service.
“You can thank me later, after you’re warm and dry.”
Caleb tipped his head back and drained his coffee. “Why don’t we fill a thermos and set off? We don’t have to rush if the othe
rs won’t arrive until one o’clock, but I thought we could make a few stops at our favorite places. I’d like to talk to you along the way.”
Josie felt a frisson of apprehension as she closed the door behind them. Her unease continued until Caleb pulled the buggy off the road at a lovely vista. “What did you want to talk about? I told you everything I know about the English service.”
“I believe I understand about today. What I’m curious about is the rest of our lives. Would you like me to build a house on your daed’s farm, or add a dawdi haus onto this one? Maybe you’d like a small house in Fredericksburg. You could watch the bicyclists coming and going nowhere in particular.”
“But always in a hurry.” Josie tightened her cape around her shoulders.
“So what I really want to know is do you love me, Josie Yoder? Are you willing to marry and spend the rest of your life with me? Because I surely do love you.”
“Do you think we’ll still be allowed to marry after today?”
“I do. God would never keep two perfectly suited people apart.”
“In that case, I’ll marry you. And yes, I love you, but you already know that.”
Caleb leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. “Yes, but it sure feels good to hear the words on a day like this.”
She laughed—an oft-repeated response during their drive to Pleasant Hill Lake in the nearby park. For some reason, her mood improved with each passing mile. When they pulled into Mohican State Park, filled with the promise of newly laid plans, Josie pivoted toward him on the seat. “Are you getting nervous?”
“I would be lying if I said no.” Caleb cast a glance in her direction.
“Gut, because if you weren’t nervous, a person might think you’re not taking this seriously.”
“No chance of anyone getting that misconception.” Caleb applied the brake and brought the buggy to a stop. “Three cars are here. I guess that makes sense—the Wilsons, Pete and Michelle’s, and the preacher’s.”
“Jah, but look over there.” Josie pointed toward a grassy, open field where at least a dozen buggies were lined up. With heads bent, horses nibbled on tall grass to pass the time.
Caleb blinked and stared, as though his eyes were deceiving him. “Who do you suppose those belong to?”
“At this distance, all black buggies look the same, but I did invite a few people.” She shielded her eyes and squinted. “I wasn’t sure if anyone would show up.”
Caleb’s eyes bugged from his face. “You sent invitations?”
“Most were verbal invites, but yes. Angela Wilson said it was commonplace for people to celebrate your new beginning. I fixed a picnic lunch for later. It’s in the cooler under the blanket. We can’t expect people to attend a festive occasion without serving a meal; that would be un-American.” Josie hopped out while Caleb continued to stare at the assemblage along the sandy beach. “Are you just going to sit there? Or are you going ahead with our plan?”
He broke from his trance. “Get back in. We’ll park with the other buggies.”
After parking at the end of the row, they walked hand in hand toward a group of smiling faces: the minister, Angela and Justin Wilson, Pete and Michelle Taylor, as expected. But several members of the Beachy family also approached while Caleb was still twenty paces away.
Sarah hurried to his side. “At least the sun came out. You won’t be nearly as cold,” she said.
“I’m praying that you don’t catch pneumonia.” Adam Troyer slapped him on the back.
“Caleb, look who picked me up at Country Pleasures so I wouldn’t be late?” Rebekah asked a rhetorical question since James Weaver stood at her side with Katie on the other. “He hired a driver for the day.”
Josie gave Caleb a nudge with her elbow. “When did you become so shy?” she whispered in his ear.
“Hi, James. Thanks for bringing my schwestern.” Caleb reached out to his friend.
“Hello, partner.” Albert stepped forward from behind Sarah. “Tobias and Josiah insisted on coming once they heard lunch would be served.” Albert snickered, while the other Sidleys ducked their heads.
“For whatever the reason, thanks for showing up.” Caleb shook their hands in succession.
Josie spotted Jessie and Laura off by themselves, so she waved them forward. But before she had a chance to talk to her sisters, the honk of a horn drew her attention.
Jack and Bob climbed out of a pickup and sprinted toward the group. “Are we too late? Have we missed it?” called Bob.
“Nope, I’m still dry, aren’t I?” Caleb called to them. Beaming with pleasure, he introduced the carpenters to the rest of the group.
But his greatest joy had been obstructed by a huge “No Fishing” sign. Eli and Elizabeth stood on the bank of the lake, elbow to elbow, huddled together for warmth. Josie spotted them first and inclined her head in their direction. “I don’t believe it.” Caleb spoke softly so that only she could hear.
“Miracles happen, even in Fredericksburg in October,” said Josie. “Go pinch your daed, make sure he’s real.”
“Oh, he’s real all right. I’d recognize him anywhere. Danki, Josie.” Caleb squeezed her hand and strode toward the evangelical minister. While Josie watched, Caleb introduced the two preachers and allowed them a few minutes to get acquainted. Then the Englisch minister called everyone to the bank of the lake and stated the purpose of today’s gathering. He read several passages of Scripture and asked Caleb a series of questions. Then the preacher and Caleb waded into the water several yards from shore. The bishop craned his neck and arched on tiptoes so as not to miss anything while Caleb’s mamm shivered in empathy for him. Before twenty witnesses, the minister leaned Caleb back and dunked him under very cold water, baptizing him in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Caleb accepted the Lord and pledged to live as a Christian until his death.
With her sisters by her side, Josie swallowed down the lump in her throat, willing herself not to cry. After all, wasn’t this a joyous occasion? Caleb had taken the first step of his new life...a life that included her.
On the day he was to join the Amish church, Caleb rose at his usual time to milk the cows and feed the livestock. He showered and dressed in his black pants, coat, vest, and white shirt, no different from any other preaching Sunday. While eating his bowl of cereal and drinking a glass of milk, he thought about the qualities that would be expected for the rest of his days: resignation, calmness of mind, tranquility, detachment, unselfishness, and inner surrender. He would lose his sense of self, his uniqueness, and join a community where no man or woman was more special than the next. The needs of one became the responsibility of all, where any personal suffering from the past would simply not be tolerated. Caleb was ready for this day. He looked forward to a resolute walk, not with assurance, but with hope.
Fortunately, the Beachys didn’t have a long ride because their hosts, the Yoders, lived on the next road. Since they carried several hampers of food for lunch, Caleb drove his mother and sisters instead of taking the path. Eli had already left for an early meeting with the elders. When they arrived, people were already filing into the outbuilding. A spirited feeling of anticipation filled the crisp air.
Caleb waited with the seven young men about to join the church. The eight young women waited inside the house for the service to begin. At the appointed time, they filed in and took seats in the first row on both sides. After the opening hymn and Bible reading, the bishop called them forward to kneel and take their vows. One at a time, his father confirmed each new member. He placed his cupped hands above their heads while the deacon filled his hands from a pitcher. As the water ran through Eli’s fingers, the young men and women were baptized, bound to the Amish faith for the rest of their lives. The bishop welcomed each male member with a kiss and asked if he would be willing to serve as clergy if chosen by lot. Elizabeth welcomed each female to the district with a kiss of her own.
When his turn came, Caleb took his vows without misgivings. This
time there were no outsiders as witnesses, only the people who would remain part of his life until they were separated by death. The new members returned to their respective sides of the room and the service continued with songs, Scripture, and sermons. Finally, the bishop and ministers washed everyone’s feet in preparation for communion.
The service lasted far longer than the usual three hours. At some point, people might have grown weary or hungry or thirsty. But for Caleb, those sensations came and went without notice. When he finally strolled from the barn, the cool air revitalized him. He saw Sarah with her beloved Adam under a tree, their heads bent in conversation no one else would be privy to. Caleb felt a surge of pride when he spotted Albert in a cluster by the hog pen. His friend had decided to come back to preaching. Across the barnyard, Katie chased after a calico, determined to make a pet out of a barn cat. Rebekah stood in a group of teenagers that, not surprisingly, included James Weaver.
But it was the sight of Josie helping her grossmammi to the house that sent his spirits soaring. Now that they were baptized, nothing stood in the way of the announcement of their engagement. When Josie exited the kitchen, minus her grossmammi, Caleb was ready. “Say, Miss Yoder, do you have plans for the rest of the afternoon? There’s something I’d like to show you.”
She gaped at him. “Then why are you standing around? Get in line to eat. As soon as the men go through the line, the women can eat. Go, because I am starving.” When he turned away, she placed both hands on his back and shoved.
“My, you really are pushy for a little gal,” he said over his shoulder.