My dreams were coming true right before my eyes. Sometimes I had a difficult time believing it.
There were mountains of work to be done, and it was a little daunting. I spent my time in the treasury room almost exclusively, only emerging to the surface for food and slumber. Though, truthfully, not all of my day was spent in actual work. Once in a while I found myself, paper in hand, pencil poised above it, simply lost in thought, far away from the Maharahi family and ancient artifacts. These things seemed like child’s trinkets at times, only a representation of meaning, that the true meaning, the real purpose, was still waiting for me.
I couldn’t understand it. I had changed history. I had all the proof and influence I needed to convince those in power. What more was there? I had it all.
The captain and I saw little of each other. We were both wary and guarded, conversation stilted and difficult. That strange shyness that had appeared at his kiss now consumed me whenever I saw him. I felt I was transparent, that my confusion was written all over my features, and I tried my best to hide my unsure feelings. I became awkward, didn’t know what to say or where to look when he drew close to me, large and muscular and overwhelmingly masculine. The smallest details fascinated me, the shape of his eyes, the scar at his throat, even the wiry hair on his arms. Never before had I been so aware of him. His every look, every movement, seemed poignant and virile, and it embarrassed me.
We saw each other at meal times, our places still side by side. He would politely enquire about the treasure and any new discoveries, smiling slightly as I spoke, once saying, “You’ve finally achieved your life’s ambition. You are to be envied.”
Sometimes he would ask how long I thought I’d be working that day, and then tell me of his own plans, painstakingly explaining what he’d be doing himself and where I could find him if I ever needed him. “Though the likelihood of that,” he once added quietly, “is quite remote now.”
I did not try to communicate my confusion to anyone. From my own mouth I had declared the relevance and importance of the Maharahi treasure. Since I’d first heard of it, I had deemed it the answer to everything, to why I was here and what I was meant to accomplish. Now that the professed desire had finally bloomed to healthy fruition after so much heartache and struggle, how could I express anything but utter pleasure? I would look an ambivalent fool. It was all I had. And it was all I needed, I told myself firmly.
I thought often of John’s sacrifice, the reality that he had died so that I could live. I determined I had to live, really live well, with deliberation and purpose despite any difficulty, in honor of him. It was a weighty obligation, and I couldn’t dismiss it. My life was set on a course now, not altogether different than the one I’d been on. After all I hadn’t been so bad before. But perhaps just blind. Now I determined I would open my eyes and take my steps with deliberation with goodness in mind, eternity in mind. If there really was something after this life, I must live now so that I might have some hope of reward then, and keep my promise to the old man and see him again if I could.
*** *** ***
The weeks passed, and soon we were entering London. I remembered how it had looked the first time I saw it. The dirt, the poverty, the corruption. Evidently, we were expected, and long before we reached port an assembly had gathered to celebrate our homecoming and welcome us. We could hear people cheering all the way to the ship. City officials awaited in order to congratulate us for our discovery and send word to the king of our arrival and the details of the gold. The Thrasher was brought close to shore. It was unable to approach the dock with the enormous burden of the gold and treasure weighing it down, so we had to board the longboats and row to port. Most of the men stayed aboard the ship, uneasy, I’m sure, in any legitimate English port – and with good reason.
Fredrick sat beside me sulkily, threatening all sorts of outrageous retribution if the Lord Mayor dared to attempt to exalt him with a position of authority. “You think I’m not above bodily lifting the man and depositing him in the drink? Well, just see.”
“Fredrick, I’m sure it’s enough for them to simply pardon you,” I tried to assure him. “They’d deem it a great honor. It’s most unlikely they’ll consider rewarding you further. You won’t really pick up the Lord Mayor and throw him in the ocean, will you? Even if he’s impertinent enough to offer you a reward? I think you’re joking, but sometimes you do the most outrageous things. And a great deal of my future security rests in the events of the next few hours.”
“Bah!” he said dismissively. “Mallory is quite capable of looking after you. You need nothing from these knaves.”
I bit my lip and my eyes found Mallory, who was watching me, his gaze as grave as ever.
“You’re sure we’ve been pardoned, Captain?” Duncan asked Fredrick, his index finger pulling at his collar in the timeless gesture of nervousness. “We’re sure about this?”
“Eye, lad. As long as we have the gold, we are as safe as priests. I’m sorry. I would have prevented it if it were possible. I don’t like this ending for you. Forgive me.”
Our boat bumped up against the dock, and I was helped ashore courteously. Mallory himself alighted and took my hand, his fingers warm and firm. His touch sent a thrill of pleasure through me that I found difficult to squelch. I looked up at him instinctively and found his eyes on me. Hastily I looked away, and he silently drew my arm through his, and we walked to those waiting for us.
A cheer erupted from the crowd and we were drawn onto a make-shift stage. Fireworks exploded when we reached the top of the platform, and I cried out delightedly. A man in dirty, frayed clothing winked at me from the crowd.
“Is all this for us?” I asked in awe.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” said Fredrick, looking green.
I looked up and found Mallory with a worried frown.
“What’s the matter?” I asked him.
“Those fireworks are awfully close to the ship,” he said.
“So? It won’t hurt any of the men on board.”
“It’s not the men, it’s the gunpowder I’m worried about.”
“Oh, Captain,” I said with a dismissive gesture. “A falling ember would have to descend hundreds of feet without extinguishing, land precisely on the ship, in precisely the right position to fall through the door and then down on through the hatch below … and strike just the right spot, assuming of course, that just enough gunpowder had spilled in just the right proximity to the remaining kegs. The chances are not only slim, they’re astronomi —”
I was interrupted by the explosion.
*** *** ***
Consumed with smoke and flame, the Thrasher groaned and tilted and began to sink. I watched the priceless treasure begin to vanish, my brows raised only slightly, as though in mild surprise.
Men cried out and jumped overboard as she went down, various parts of their clothing aflame. Though I was told later that, miraculously, everyone had made it out safely.
After a stunned moment, those around me leapt into action. Mallory demanded the long boats be released from the docked ships and sent to retrieve the survivors. Women screamed, someone was crying in the distance. The welcoming officials stood with mouths hanging open, as if rooted to the spot.
Young Duncan turned to Frederick. “Captain?” he asked faintly.
Fredrick watched the sinking vessel, which contained the treasure: everything upon which his pardon depended. And then he turned to Duncan, not looking particularly concerned. “It’s time we go, lad. It looks to be we’ve worn out our welcome.”
Frederick turned to me, took my hand and kissed it, though I hardly felt a thing. “It has, indeed, been an honor and a privilege, miss. Be good to my Mallory. Now that there are no distractions, you can return to your post as faithful, orbiting moon. He has missed you these weeks.”
Fredrick was about to turn away, but he looked back to me and said, “And do me a favor. Never set foot on another nautical vessel again. Especially mine. This is my
second ship to go under thanks to you.”
He released me and shook Mallory’s hand. “The prodigal son,” he murmured. “Now if you would please direct me to the location of the Resolution, we’ll be on our way.”
Mallory pointed a finger, and Fredrick departed, waving a feathered hat and demanding an invitation to the wedding. He would never attend, of course, but the gesture would be appreciated. “My mistress, she is calling,” he finished with a sweep of his hand.
He and Duncan departed from a sunken priceless treasure with extraordinary alacrity and composure. Though in retrospect, clanking, bulging pockets might have had something to do with it. It was inevitable, of course. A pardon is nothing to a ship full of abandoned pirates.
I stood motionless as those around me scrambled and worked, my eyes never leaving the water, my brows still raised only slightly, my mouth a little agape. Ashes and embers fell around me unheeded, and Mallory considerately brushed them off my dress and hair.
“Come Rachel,” he told me gently and drew me away from the chaos. “Lady Alistair is here, and she has invited us to stay with her. Come darling and move your feet. Up we go into the coach. Look away, dear. There’s nothing left.”
Nothing left.
He didn’t know how right he was.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Notes: Holy Father who art in heaven ….
“Look at her. She’s doesn’t even blink. Is she in shock?”
“Rachel. Rachel, dear? Are you alright?”
I was gently nudged. All that went through my mind was all my sacrifice, resting in a grave at the bottom of the ocean. Darkness began to overtake me.
There was a flurry of voices.
“Quick! Take hold of her,” a woman said. “We are here at the house. Carry her in carefully.”
“What is the matter with her?”
“Take her to her room.”
“I’ll fetch a doctor ….”
“No need. Let me take care of her. A bath … some brandy … she’ll be fine ….”
I was gently laid down. “Rachel? Rachel, darling?”
“Go, Mallory. I’ll send word if she’s in danger. Clean yourself up. Dinner is at seven.”
A door opened. It sounded very far away. And then it was shut quietly. There was a moment of silence, and then I was jerked hard on the shoulder and brutally slapped.
“Oh!” My eyes flew open and I put a hand to my stinging cheek and stared into the sparkling angry eyes of Lady Alistair.
“Serves you right,” she bit at me. “You’re lucky I don’t beat you senseless.”
“What? Why?” I cried, my hand still on my burning cheek.
“How dare you? How dare you treat Mallory like this? What kind of woman are you, falling to pieces over gold, of all things, while your man stands by you, healthy, safe and strong? So recently you were both in danger. That should have taught you. You might as well stab him through the heart!”
I blinked in confusion. And though I didn’t quite understand the source of her rage, there was one thing I was sure of. I started to cry. “Oh, he is not mine, Lady Alistair,” I sobbed. “It’s just a ruse to protect me. There’s nothing like that between us. And all is lost now. I have nothing!” I rolled over, away from her.
There was a moment of stunned silence. “But all he’s done for you ….”
“He hasn’t done it for any personal concern for me. He’s a good man who will help me no matter the cost to him. I have benefited from the generosity of his character, that is all.”
I wept openly, bitterly regretting the loss of that beautiful treasure. I was not a greedy person. At least, I hoped not. But my acquiring something of so much value, something that had eluded so many others, somehow proved me worthy. And it would protect me when I made my outrageous claims, would serve to prove me right. But now it was irrevocably gone. The bottom dropped out of my life. I was only an empty shell, a raw, exposed nerve with nothing to protect me.
For many moments Lady Alistair did not speak, and I almost forgot she was there until the bed sagged beside me as she sat down.
“Hush,” she said in quieter tones and touched my back. “Drink this.” A glass was handed to me. “Drink it,” she urged when I didn’t reach for it.
I took the glass and sat up, my hand trembling and knocking the glass against my teeth as I drank. I coughed as the burning liquor slid down my parched throat.
“There,” she said and took the glass again. I watched her warily as she set the glass on the table by the bed and looked back at me.
“You have to be calm now,” she said evenly, “so we can sort it all out. Can you do that?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Then lean back against your pillows. You look poised and ready for flight. Relax. I promise not to strike you again.”
I did as she said, and the brandy began to take effect, slowing my tragic, racing heart and making me feel warm.
“That’s better,” she approved, her eyes scanning my face as though trying to read it. “Now what did you mean, ‘he’s not yours?’”
I turned my face away and covered my eyes with my hand.
“Stop it,” she commanded, and forcefully made me look at her again. “You are not a child. You are a strong, young woman and I want you to behave as one. Control yourself and answer me. You and Mallory … there is no understanding between you, then?”
I shook my head.
“But the way he’s been with you … all he’s done for you ....” She glanced away momentarily. “The way he was looking at you at the ceremony … I was so sure that ….”
“He helped me because I needed help.”
“Is that what he told you?”
I shook my head. “He’s told me nothing.”
Her eyes held mine levelly. “Has he made love to you?”
“No! For heaven’s sake, it’s 1714!”
She looked angry. “I know what year it is, child! He’s never held you, kissed you …?”
“He’s kissed me, yes.”
“Well, what on earth do you think I meant?” she demanded.
“I thought you meant ….”
“You’ve had a singular education,” she told me scathingly after a stunned moment.
“I know.” I looked away.
“You know all there is to know, yet you don’t understand men and women at all.”
My eyes went to her in surprise. “What do you mean?”
Lady Alistair, in her gown and jewels, tall and stately, looked at me with exasperation, though it was not unkindly anymore. “I could beat you if not for your wide, anxious eyes. I think I know how Mallory feels. I have sympathy for him, poor, lovesick fool.”
I stared at her, quite unable to speak for some moments. “Lovesick…!” I sputtered. “He doesn’t love me.”
“Well, you may be right,” she told me brutally. “But we have to find out for sure.”
“Why?” I asked her warily.
“Because you’re good for him, in your odd way. And you may be just what he needs to stay and ….” She stopped and smoothed down her skirt.
“What?”
“Never mind. How did he kiss you?” she asked without embarrassment.
“How did he …? What do you mean?” I replied, a flush creeping up my face.
She watched it wryly. “I see. With some … fervor.”
My cheeks burned.
“What happened afterwards? I take it he won the battle, found you, and took you in his arms. Then what?”
“Then nothing,” I exclaimed. “The men entered and interrupted us. And then he saw John and went to him. I was drawn away.”
“And then later?”
“I waited.”
“Did you let him know you were waiting?”
“What do you mean?”
She looked exasperated. “Shame on you, ignorant child. Did your mother teach you nothing?”
“What do you mean?” I asked again stupidly.
Lady
Alistair rolled her eyes. And then rose and urged me to rise, too. “Come and bathe, Miss Madera. We’ll clean you up and put you in a pretty dress. And I will tell you this. Love is a dance. The man moves forward, and then the woman. It’s a dance, not a chase. A man waits for encouragement. Poor Mallory put himself on the line, and you left him there all alone. It’s your turn to step forward now. At supper, you will know what to do. A woman always knows if she cares to. Get ready, and then come down.”
I unquestioningly obeyed her. I would have followed a child as lost as I was.
*** *** ***
Lady Alistair looked at the clock again.
Seven fifteen.
She rang for the servant. “Go and tell Captain Tucker that we are waiting for him,” she told the girl when she arrived. With a bob, the girl departed.
We looked at each other, and I think she sensed my nervousness. She gave me a reassuring smile and my hand unconsciously went to the scoop neck of my silk dress.
“You look just as you ought,” Lady Alistair observed confidently.
I glanced down at the soft blue silk gown that I wore and smiled self-consciously. I felt extremely feminine sitting there draped in silks, lace and jewelry, my hair in elaborate curls. Lady Alistair had personally supervised my entire wardrobe and had not left until the last detail had been seen to. In fact, half way through my toilette she exited the room to reappear holding a box that later revealed a diamond necklace with matching earrings, bracelet, and tiara. “It may be a bit extravagant, but I think the occasion calls for it,” she told me with a wink.
I half heartedly insisted I shouldn’t wear such beautiful jewelry, but was easily, and gladly, overridden.
My waist was tapered long and slim from the corset that I wore, and the dress folds lay perfectly where they should. The three-quarter sleeves were lined with flowing lace and my hair had been brushed out ruthlessly, curled, and piled high on my head with cleverly escaping curls resting on either shoulder. The neck of my dress was wide, resting on the edge of my shoulders and perhaps a little lower than I would have felt comfortable with, but the lace lining that it contained helped alleviate the worst of my doubts.
The Dreamer (The Fall Series) Page 21