by Malone, Nana
Cheeky Royal
Nana Malone
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Thank You
Nana Malone Reading List
About Nana Malone
1
Penny…
"Do not embarrass me in front of the king."
I glared at my father as he frog-marched me down the enormous gilded hallway leading to the king's personal office. My heels made a clop-clop sound that echoed right along with the sound of my father’s making a similar click-clack sound on the polished marble.
I'd been summoned by King Cassius.
I'd never been summoned by the king before.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad."
"Sweetheart, stop. You know I believe you can do anything. But this is important. This is His Majesty. Do not embarrass the family. Keep your mouth shut. Try not to twitch too much. Don't fidget. Stand there, listen, and nod your head. You can handle that?"
I nodded slowly. "Yes. Keep my mouth shut, show no personality, and act like a robot. Done."
As we passed the Fountain Garden, I gasped. I’d forgotten that this part of the palace had floor to ceiling windows looking out on the garden. Outside the birds of paradise were in full bloom. The colors of the Hibiscus and Bougainville, and the Caribbean Lilies should have clashed, but the gardens were done so elegantly that the different flowers wove together and told a story. As the palace sat on top of the hill, the azure- blue waters of the Caribbean were visible.
If I had this view I might never get any work done. Not that you do anyway.
The question was, just how much trouble was I in?
Had Kind Cassius possibly heard that I was the worst Royal Guard in the history of man? But if that were the case, he wouldn’t have sent for me, right? Or was he calling me to fire me personally? But why not have my father do it?
Was he pissed about the ball? That was months ago. I hadn’t set any dukes on fire since then. Honestly, it wasn't my fault the Duke of Essex caught on fire. And I’d had to tackle him to put him out. Besides, he was fine. Maybe a little scared, and sure, the flames had gotten rather close to him. Again, not my fault…entirely.
Since then, my father hadn’t let me near anyone remotely related to the royal family. I was still relegated to the Queen’s offices. But now they didn’t even allow me to talk to any dignitaries. I was nothing more than a glorified secretary. And I was miserable.
My family had been in the Royal Guard since the 1700s when King Jackson had first come to the Winston Isles. Granted, he hadn't been king then. He'd been a commoner, escaping his own king in England. He'd been put on a ship headed to the Americas that had instead crashed on the Winston Isles. Because he had no papers and no family, he'd been taken in as an indentured servant by the duke who ruled the island.
But then he'd organized the other indentured servants, slaves, and the indigenous people on the Isles to rise up against the aristocracy.
From the stories that had been passed down in my family, I understood that the war was fought dirty. Jackson had refused to see people enslaved— refused to watch and stand idly by as anyone was mistreated. When the war ended, the people made him king. And he promised his subjects that they would all be free and that the laws would be fair.
As a kid, I’d thought the stories of some great-great-great-grandfather fighting next to King Jackson were merely stories that the old folks told. But as I got older, I realized that they weren’t stories; they were history. My ancestor was one of the indigenous people of the Winston Isles. He’d fallen in love with a slave that worked in the plantation houses, and all he wanted was freedom. So he joined Jackson’s cause and eventually became one of the king's trusted advisors. And ever since then, a member of my family had been in the Royal Guard.
Including myself.
My grandfather was Royal Guard. My father was Royal guard. Hell, my mother was Royal Guard, as was my older brother. It was sort of expected that I would be Royal Guard as well.
I’d enjoyed the training. It had been rigorous physically. The history and the studying part had been easy and fun. I liked history. But when it came to practical application of everything I learned, I was a walking, talking Calamity Penelope.
I had the best of intentions, but everything always went wrong. And that's why getting summoned by the king wasn't something to be excited about. I just knew I was about to get sacked.
We paused outside the king's office, and I drew in a deep breath before knocking quietly.
The booming command from inside had me shaking, but I clasped my hands together behind my back to quell the movement. I could do this. I had to do this. Because, if I didn't do this, I was afraid it would show that I didn't belong here. Didn't belong as a member of the Royal Guard. Didn't belong anywhere.
When I opened the door, King Cassius stood immediately on the other side, and I stared. Up close he was even more imposing. Proper breeding eventually won out, and I curtsied. "Your Majesty."
His voice was as kind as I remembered. His was a mix of almost undistinguishable island lilt, a crisp British clip mixed with an odd occasional flattening of vowel sounds that spoke to the influence of the States over the years. But no mistake, he was all aristocracy.
"Penelope?"
I nodded. "Yes, Your Majesty."
King Cassius glanced over my shoulder to my father. "Ethan. Come in."
My father shook his head. "Sorry, Your Majesty. I'm actually needed in security. Cancun didn't pan out, but we may have another sighting."
The king nodded gravely. "Then by all means. Go. See if you can locate my son."
I swallowed hard. My father was one of King Cassius's closest advisers. He was also the head of security. When Prince Sebastian left six months ago, my father was charged with finding him and keeping tabs on him at all times. Though, as it turned out, the prince was a little difficult to keep track of.
The prince employed a series of doubles and scattered them to the far corners of the earth. So one day there’d be a story of the prince in Mallorca making out with some heiress. And the next day, there’d be a story about him in Thailand, chilling on the beach with some American tourist. The paparazzi followed after him like flies to honey.
"Come in Penelope. Have a seat."
Surprisingly, everything in the king's office was quite understated. It looked like the office of a CEO. Dark oak table; dark leather; dark wood paneling. It was oddly normal. Still, though, I knew I was sitting in front of royalty. And so, I eased myself down into the chair he indicated and sat on the very edge, trying to remember all the etiquette my mother had pounded into my head.
Edge of the seat. Knees together. Ankles crossed. Shoulders straight. Head at an incline of 45 degree angle to show interest. Wow, it was exhausting.
"You wished to see me, Majesty?" My voice sounded strange in my own ears. Warbled. Like I was fighting back tears. Well, I was fighting back nerves.
"I guess you're wondering why I've asked you to come."
I braced
myself. "Yes, sir. I can assure you, any mistakes I made in the past have been rectified. And I’ve tried not to embarrass —"
He put up a hand. "I assure you, you’ve done nothing to embarrass me. Or your father. I wanted to ask a favor.”
I stared at him, my mouth open. "A favor. From me?" I snorted with laughter. Okay, admittedly, not my finest moment. "What favor can I do for my king?"
His smile was kind, but his eyes were fierce. "I need you to become Prince's Guard."
I shook my head. "I'm afraid I don't understand."
The king sighed. "As soon as your father locates my son, I'd like you to go undercover. Every time I get someone close to Sebastian to provide him protection, or try to talk to him, he manages to evade us. But, the queen pointed out that I may be approaching this all wrong. So, I figured if we have someone undercover, someone he can talk to, he might be more inclined to listen. My hope is you can provide that service. A twofold service. First, keep him safe. You've been trained as all members of the Royal Guard have. But you can also get close enough to convince him to come home. It will take a lot of convincing, as my son is quite angry with me."
I stared at him. Honest to God stared. Then my gaze flickered to the portrait on the wall of the royal family. With this dark hair and eyes that matched the color of the Caribbean water, Prince Sebastian was hot. Hotter than hot. Panties on fire hot. And his voice, when he was making a woman—
Yeah, never mind how I knew that. It wasn’t like I was eavesdropping that one time at the ball. He wasn’t exactly being discreet.
As children, we’d played together sometimes. He’d always seemed like a lonely kid. He and his cousins had been tutored on the grounds. With only his cousins for playmates, he used to scour the castle looking for someone else to play with. He’d often found me, desperately trying to follow behind my brother. And we were close enough in age that he let me play whatever he was playing.
I’d loved those moments. But then he’d gone to boarding school at age eleven, and I never had contact with him again. At least not close-up contact.
"This sounds extremely important. What makes you think I'm the right person for the job? Honestly, it can't have escaped your knowledge that I'm a total disaster at this job. I'm quite possibly the worst Royal Guard in the history of the planet. Or at the very least, in the history of the Winston Isles."
Kind Cassius sighed. “To be honest, you’re female. And you know him. I know that you used to play as children. And I saw you with the Duke. In an emergency, you stay calm. You’re not flustered. You're professional. What happens before an emergency is where things seem to go a little haywire."
"A little. Besides, I knew the prince years ago. I don't know him now."
“Still, he won't see you coming. And as you know, my son has a weakness for women. I know that you have a good head on your shoulders. From what your father tells me, you take no prisoners, and you won’t be swayed by Sebastian’s charm. But you are a beautiful girl, so at the very least, he’ll like having you around."
I knew the appropriate response. Despite how this sounded, this wasn’t a request. It was a command. From my king. I needed to listen. To follow through. To say yes.
So when I opened my mouth, to say, ‘Yes sir. When do I leave?’ I was just as shocked as the King when I said instead, "Your Majesty, I'm honored that you would think of me, but I have to decline. I'm terrible at this job. Really, really bad actually. You don't want to entrust something as important as this to someone like me."
And then I did the one thing I knew would embarrass my whole family. I stood and walked out on the king without waiting for him to dismiss me.
* * *
Penny …
“Have you lost your fucking mind?”
Yep, that was pretty much the response I’d thought I’d get from my best friend, Ariel, when I told her.
It’s not like I could argue with her. I had lost my fucking mind.
I crossed my arms and paced the length of Ariel’s living room. "I can't believe I said that. I am going to get shoved into the dungeons. I know how bad this is."
Ariel shook her head and blinked rapidly as if trying to understand what I’d just said. "Well, first of all, I want to know exactly what the king looked like when you told him no."
"Ariel, be serious. I told His Royal Majesty, that I wouldn't take a job. I am King's Guard. Okay, technically Queen’s Guard. But still. I looked the king in the face and said no. Oh my God, he really has to be readying the dungeons."
Ariel sighed. "I hoped that it wouldn’t come to this, but I will get you out of the country. Operation Condor is in effect. Let's get the passports and the cash. You can’t be held responsible for your actions. If we’re caught, we’ll plead temporary insanity."
I halted, then stared at my friend. I was never really sure if Ariel was serious or not. "Do you actually have passports and cash?"
Ariel raised a brow. "Do you really want to know the answer to that question?" She’d always said her father knew some unscrupulous people, so it was possible she’d picked up a thing or two from him.
I held up my hands. "You know what? No. Don't tell me. But I know the code word Condor. And no, I can't run from this, because if I run, that's bad for my parents."
"So what if it looks bad for your parents? You don't want to be Royal Guard anyway."
This was true. Just because I’d gone into the family business didn't mean I loved it. But there's no way you're telling your parents that you're quitting the Royal Guard. Dear Lord, the disgrace that would bring to my family. A member of my family had been in the Royal Guard since the very beginning. Since King Jackson. It was a great honor. Then why don't you want it?
I resumed pacing. "Maybe I’ll just go back and tell him that I'm really sorry and clearly I had lost my mind. And maybe he’ll just give me the job, and I’ll find Prince Sebastian and bring him back."
Ariel smirked. "You mean His Royal Fucking Majesty."
I giggled. "Yeah. His Royal Fucking Majesty.” He was every bit the cocky, bad boy. I remembered him boning the Duke’s daughter. But there was another side to him. I'd seen him with the people. He often drank at the local pub and bought the whole place pints. But not to be flashy. More like so everyone could enjoy themselves for one drink with no worries.
He gave generously to dozens of charities and especially championed charities for educating youth. Hell, I'd won a full academic scholarship paid for by the royal family to go wherever and study whatever I wanted. If my parents had paid, I likely would have been encouraged to study something practical like political science or criminal justice. At any rate, thanks to the prince I’d had a little freedom. But amongst the guard, he was known as His Royal Fucking Majesty.
He was never rude to any of those charged with protecting his family, but the rumor was there was a lot of dick swinging going around. Some of which I’d seen personally. He was in charge, and he knew it. No one dared tell him no. And uh…also the literal dick swinging. Every member of his personal guard had seen him in various stages of undress with his infamous women.
"Have you talked to your mom? Maybe she’ll have insight.”
I stopped pacing and joined Ariel on the couch, flopping onto it. "I didn't dare go home. I was too terrified. I knew my father would bring the roof down screaming at me for being such an idiot."
"We both know your father would never call you an idiot."
I sighed. "No, you're right. He wouldn't. But man, he would give some serious disappointment face. That's worse. And then my brother would start on me.”
Arial set up straighter. "Michael?"
I bit the inside of my mouth to keep from smirking. Ariel had been half in love with my brother for ages. But Michael, of course, was oblivious. He was all Prince’s Guard, all the time: rigid and all about the job. He wanted to move up the ranks as quickly as possible. He had a steady girlfriend, Emily, who he ignored most of the time.
She wasn’t particularly nice,
and really was too much of a doormat for my brother. And the funny thing was no one ever believed that Michael and I were brother and sister. I took after my mother, with my tawny skin and curly corkscrew hair. Michael took after our father, looking every bit the European aristocrat with olive skin and straight dark hair that he kept military short. Genetics were a funny thing.
"Okay, if I’m destined for future in the dungeons, I want to go out in style. Let’s make my twenty-second birthday count for something then. Just uh, keep Operation Condor on ice. I have a feeling I’ll be needing a bailout soon.
“You got it. You know I’m ride or die. You and I are like Thelma and Louise.”
I shook my head. “Why is it ride or die? Why must we always die in the end. Money and passports are good enough. Honest."
Ariel winked. “Okay fine. We’ll be Thelma and Louise before driving off a cliff. We start tonight with an epic birthday celebration and then tomorrow, we figure out how to fix this. You and me. But tonight, we drink!”
2
Penny …
“What do you mean you’re not staying?”
I stared at my boyfriend Robert and blinked. “It’s my birthday. You know how much I love my birthday.”
Robert slid his gaze around as if terrified I was going to make a scene. And why shouldn’t I? We were at the bar. All my friends were inside. It was my birthday and he was trying to weasel out of it.
“Look, it’s not that I don’t want to celebrate your birthday. And I swear to God I will make it up to you, but I do have to work. King Cassius has a lead on the crown prince. I need to go to Barbados tonight. I’ll be back in the morning. And we’ll do this tomorrow, just you and me.”