by Malone, Nana
"What do you mean?" She swallowed hard, eyes pinned to the numbers above.
"I mean, I'm used to you talking a mile a minute and having too much to say. Now you're dead silent. What's wrong?"
"I don't like small spaces. A cousin of mine locked me in a closet when I was little."
Shit. No wonder she was terrified. "Fuck. Why didn't you say something?"
The elevator came to a grinding stop. The thing was old, the building was old. Everything here was old. She squeaked and tried to flatten herself even more into the corner. "Because you're right, that easel is heavy, and it was three flights of stairs, and I didn't want to look like a crazy person in front of you and tell you that I was terrified of elevators."
“So instead, you’re freaking out."
Now was not the time to tease her. She needed help. And she really did look terrified. Her eyes were wide and darting back and forth. Her hands were trembling. I leaned the easel against the wall, and took her hands. "Breathe in. Breathe out."
It took her several seconds, but then she did as I told her. She finally began to relax when I rubbed circles into her back. The shaking eventually stopped, and her breathing evened out. And sure enough, the elevator started to move again. As soon as we reached the third floor and the doors split apart, she scrambled out.
I picked up the easel and followed her. "You okay?"
She licked her lips even as she nodded. And for a moment, my gaze was pinned to the sight of her tongue peeking out. "Yeah. Thank you. It seems that you are Prince Charming after all."
"Not too sure about that." But something about the way she looked at me made me want to be the kind of guy that could be Prince Charming. “Come on. Let’s get your easel to your place.”
“As a thank you, I offer a burrito from Angel’s down the street.”
The answer in his scenario should have been no. Let me list the reasons why:
She had a boyfriend.
I didn’t have time for this shit.
I still felt the imprint of her body against mine from the other day. I’d wanted to kiss her so badly I had practically vibrated with it.
See, a whole bunch of reasons you have to say no. Except when I opened my mouth I said, “Sounds like a plan. Manual labor makes me hungry." I was so screwed.
15
Penny …
It occurred to me that despite all my great advice to Sebastian about coming clean and dealing with the problem, I was not doing that myself. I hadn’t dealt with Robert or Michael and I needed to do something.
Ariel had a point. I could get a lot closer to the prince just by the fact that I was a woman. And wasn’t that why King Cassius sent me here in the first place?
Ariel gave me a nudge. “Earth to Penny. What’s wrong with you?”
Ariel had set up surveillance in the bar where Sebastian worked. And currently, he was running inventory. So we were at the café on the corner while Blake Security had eyes on him. We were close enough that we could see if anything was problematic.
“I’m sorry. I was just thinking.”
Ariel stole one of the French fries off my plate. “Does this have anything to do with you getting close to a certain royal?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going to do what you think I’m going to do.”
Ariel just threw up her hands and shrugged. “I’m not saying anything, but the guy is clearly into you.”
“He is not into me. He is into women … all women, any woman. There’s nothing about me that makes me more special than anyone else.”
“If that’s the case, then why don’t you use it? Look, no one’s saying you need to boink the guy’s brains out, even though you clearly seem like you want to. But he clearly already thinks he can talk to you so use it. Make it work. Besides, this is the gate. Get close to him, befriend him, maybe … ” She shrugged. “Maybe there’s something holding you back.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
She stared at me. “Hello, Robert.”
My stomach fell. I trusted her with everything. But if something was going on between Robert and my brother, it wasn’t my secret to tell, despite the slash of betrayal. Just thinking about the way they’d been kissing each other hurt. Robert had never kissed me like that before. And if I was being frank, I’d never seen Michael that passionate about anything or anyone. Especially not Emily.
“I don’t know. I just need to focus on this job.”
Ariel nodded firmly. “Of course you do. I’m just saying that your relationship status with Robert might be holding you back from going all in.”
“And by ‘all in’ you mean naked with the prince? I’m not going to do that.”
“Yes, I know. But whether you want to admit it or not, having things unresolved with Robert holds you back from even forming a close friendship.” Before I could argue, she held up her hand. “Hear me out. Look, for the last couple of years, I’ve seen him keep you at a distance. I’ve seen him get your hopes up and then let you down. I think maybe that’s stopping you from going all in. This job, this assignment, it requires a certain level of trust. Yes, you trust me. I’m your best friend so you should trust me. I will walk over fire for you. But you don’t trust the prince, and, well, you shouldn’t. But you have to be able to let go enough to fake it. And I don’t think you can because of Robert.”
I frowned. She had a point, although not for the reason she thought. She thought my history with Robert was keeping me from even allowing someone to get close. What she didn’t know was my more recent discovery about Robert that was turning me upside down. Either way, she had a point. I needed to talk to him, which unfortunately meant calling him.
“We’ve been here for two weeks. I haven’t spoken to him since I left. I didn’t even tell him I was leaving.”
Ariel lifted a brow. “Okay, I get you being mad at him because he did ditch you on your birthday. But maybe you guys should talk.”
I sat back and crossed my arms. “He has my number, but he hasn’t called either.”
She laughed. “Oh my God, you expect him to call? He thinks you’re still mad about your birthday. But the truth is, even if you are, it doesn’t matter. You have a job to do, and you have got to settle stuff with him because it’s keeping you from doing that job.”
I sighed. Ariel reached over to my plate for another French fry, and I smacked her hand. “No fries for you.”
She pouted. “You’re not eating them. Besides, surveillance is making me hungry.”
It wasn’t the surveillance that was making her hungry; it was our renewed workouts. We couldn’t exactly be seen together, but we both had to stay in shape. So she’d gotten some workout DVDs called Insane Ridiculousness, or something. Pretty much a very good looking, abbed-out guy shouted at her in an extra perky tone about how ‘you can do these sit-ups.’ I did not like those sit-ups. But Ariel was committed and was in starvation mode. All she wanted to do was eat.
“Fine, take them. I don’t want them anyway. Okay, you’ve inspired me. You have eyes on Sebastian. I think I need to make a call.” Ariel dipped her French fries in some ketchup and mustard. How the hell she could do that, I had no idea. I was a purist when it came to my French fries.
“Yep. I’ve got eyes on him. You go make your call. Don’t walk down toward the bar no matter how tempting it might be to get a good look at Sebastian, you know, using his muscles.” She winked at me. I really wished she hadn’t said anything about Sebastian and his muscles because they really were a sight to behold. Watching him carry that easel inside for me the other night had given me a chance to see them up close.
I deliberately walked in the opposite direction of the bar, took out my phone and dialed it, and hoped Robert wouldn’t answer.
That hope died on the second ring. He picked it up immediately. “Penny?”
“Robert, hi.”
“Where are you? I’ve been worried sick.”
“So worried that you actually called me?”
�
��Well, I went looking for you. You know, to talk, after everything … ” His voice trailed and I had to fight the queasiness as I remembered exactly why this was so awkward. “You went to my house instead of calling me. Are you sure you didn’t go to see Michael?”
“Penny, about what you saw. It’s not what you think. It just—happened. I don’t even know—”
The sound of his lie was enough to induce a migraine. “How can you say that? Look, I can’t tell you where I am, but I’m on assignment so I’m not going be back for a while. And anyway, obviously, I think maybe you and I are over. So there’s that.”
He didn’t skip a beat. “I refuse to accept that.”
“What? I just broke up with you, after I saw you kissing my brother. I’m pretty sure that’s going to stick.”
“No. We have a lot to talk about. I regret what happened, but you and I, we make sense. So why don’t we just wait for you to get back and then we can decide.”
I stopped walking. Pedestrians strolling through the East Village milled around me. “You’ve got to be kidding me. We’re not going to have any more conversations. Because not only were you kissing someone else, male or female, you were kissing my brother. That level of betrayal is—You don’t come back from that.”
“I was confused, Penny. Stop being dramatic.”
Oh, I’d show him dramatic. “And see, right there, that’s the other reason. When I have a perfectly normal response to something, you try and act like I’m being dramatic in some way. I’m not. That was a betrayal.”
He was silent for several beats before finally saying, “Look, I get it. I do. I just want us to be okay. How about we talk when you get back? Just don’t abandon me.”
Low blow, asshole. My heart squeezed. He once told me that one of his biggest fears was that his whole family would turn their backs on him one day. I didn’t understand it at the time, but now I did.
I used to insist that they loved him. I wondered would they really turn their backs on him if they found out he was gay? It was insane. Besides, gay marriage was legal in the Winston Isles. There was no reason for him not to be who he was. But hell, what the fuck did I know about it?
Still though, it didn’t mean that I could stay with him just to make him happy. Not after what he’d done.
“There’s nothing to talk about. I have to go.” He started to argue with me just as a street hawker nearby pulled out a bullhorn.
“Get your ten-dollar Kate Spade bags here. Kate Spade, just ten dollars, almost like the real thing.” And then he started jabbering even faster. I walked further down the street so that I could speak into the phone.
“Robert, my instinct is to say that I’m sorry for hurting you or something, but I’m not the one who needs to apologize.”
But as it turned out, he wasn’t even that worried about my attempts to break up with him. “Are you in New York?”
I froze. How the hell did he know that? “What?”
“I just heard some guy selling kits of bean bags. Are you in New York?”
I knew the drill. When on assignment performing a royal duty, unless sent on official business for a royal tour, I shouldn’t disclose where I was. “I can’t tell you that.”
His voice dropped an octave. “If you’re not supposed to tell me, that means it’s official business. The Queen is here. The King is here.” Fuck. “Penny, did you find Sebastian?”
“I have to go. Don’t call me, okay? I can’t stand to talk to you.” I sucked in a deep breath, unsure of why I was sweating. My heart hammered against my ribs. Had I screwed up? How had he figured out I was in New York? And how much trouble would this make for me? And why did I still feel unsettled?
Because you still have to deal with Michael.
That was another problem for another day. Right now, I’d removed all obstacles from my path. I could focus solely on the job.
Now, all I had to do was navigate my ridiculous lady feelings for Sebastian. I could do this. Like my mother said, the assignment was a chance to prove myself. And I wasn’t going to screw it up by falling for the one man in the world I couldn’t have.
* * *
Penny …
I tossed in the bed. It was hot and sticky, and my mind kept going back to Sebastian. His lips so close I thought he was going to kiss me. His nose trailing along my skin.
With a groan I flipped over. “Damn it.” For starters, it was far too hot for October. The heat was making me insane. It was also making me think about doing things with the Crown Prince of Winston Isles, even though I was a commoner and technically his Royal Guard. The things running through my head at the moment were not allowed.
But someone needed to tell my body that, because every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was him. Sebastian’s hooded gaze, his broad shoulders casting a shadow over my body as he leaned into me. I could practically feel his nose and the shadow of his lips across my skin.
This was insane. I was just being crazy. It had been a while since I’d had sex. I tried to even remember when the last time was. It wasn’t like Robert and I had never had sex. It was just that it was infrequent … very infrequent. Hello, that was a sign. Okay fine, it had been a while. We’d just go with that. That’s all this was.
I was horny and strung out, and he was sexy. No one was arguing his complete and utter sex appeal. I just wasn’t supposed to be susceptible to it. It was fine. No big deal. I could just think it away.
Good luck with that.
Okay, maybe not as easy as all that. My whole body vibrated … throbbed … just thinking about him. This wasn’t me. I didn’t lose my mind. I didn’t indulge fantasies about the prince and that’s what this was, pure and utter fantasy. I wasn’t dumb enough to think that his attention had anything to do with me personally. He was a flirt … a renowned flirt.
You could just take care of the problem.
I groaned again. The last thing on earth I needed to do was to take care of the problem. After all, wouldn’t it just come back stronger?
No. Just take some of the tension off and then you can sleep. And with a full night’s rest, you can look at the scenario with new eyes.
Man, my inner voice was good at rationalizing. But do you really have another choice? You can’t sleep. You’re fantasizing about someone you can’t have. Take the edge off. God, what was wrong with me? Never mind. I knew what was wrong with me. Sebastian Winston. And I knew how to take care of the problem.
With a frustrated groan, I reached into the bedside table. I’d brought my little pocket rocket from home, which was silly really because I was on a mission. Who in the world would bring a vibrator on a mission? This girl.
That was just good forward thinking.
I slid the tiny vibrator underneath my pajama bottoms and found my clit easily. When I turned on the buzzer to low speed, my mind instantly bloomed with visions of Sebastian. His cocky lopsided smile, the way he gazed down at me through his lashes, his strong arms around me holding me up, his hands nearly on my ass. But he’d been appropriate … mostly. He hadn’t grabbed my ass. He hadn’t held on to me, pressed me against the wall and ground his hips into mine.
Nope. That was just one of the many, many day dreams I’ve had, one of the sleeping ones too. I had to get that shit under control.
That’s what you’re doing. Just focus on him and then you can get back to normal. It’s fine. No one will know.
And so I let the thoughts consume me. I could practically feel his lips sliding over mine. I imagined his hands roaming over my body, my breasts … holding them, weighing them, leaning forward and kissing them, licking them and then using his teeth. I could almost imagine the way he’d kiss my body, pausing at interesting spots to lick and torture me. And then he would get slower and plant his mouth directly over my clit and slowly perform some oral dexterity the likes of which I’ve never seen before in my life.
I let myself imagine Sebastian licking over my clit. Long strokes meant to promise orgasms, many of them. But it r
efused to quite draw them out as the pace was too slow. It was a tease, just like he was.
Eventually, I ditched the vibrator. It wasn’t getting the job done. Using my fingers, I slowly dipped inside and moaned. What would it feel like to have Sebastian inside of me? To have his tongue, his fingers, or his dick in me? It didn’t take much. Before long, with a slight flutter of my fingers, imagining Sebastian with his hands fisting my curls, tugging hard as he loved me deep, I was flying.
I knew it was a fantasy. I knew it wasn’t real. I knew I was bat shit crazy for even doing this. But it didn’t stop me from moaning out his name as my release hit.
* * *
Sebastian …
What the hell did she just say?
I wasn’t being a pervert. I swore to God. I wasn’t. It was hot as fuck and I couldn’t sleep. So I opened the doors to my balcony. It wasn’t my fault that my next door neighbor with the killer rat was moaning my name. And not just like saying it, as if maybe saying my name to a friend. She was saying it as if I were between her legs. My dick twitched. Easy, soldier. We’re not going there. What the fuck was going on?
I meant to go back inside. I did. That was the plan.
But then she moaned again.
And naturally, being curious, I wanted to check on her and see if she was okay.
Liar.
Okay, I wanted to hear her moan, again. What were the chances that her boyfriend was also named Sebastian? It was possible. It could happen.
I leaned further out the door. I could hear her. She was making these breathy little pants. I could hear more moaning, more groaning, more of my dick turning to steel.
Holy shit, she was touching herself. And calling my name? If that wasn’t the hottest thing I’ve ever heard or seen in my life, I don’t know what was. Yes, I’d seen plenty of women masturbate. Hell, I’d even helped my fair share. But this, this was something else. Something hotter.
And this was Len, the girl with a sweet voice who talked a mile a minute and had wrapped her body around me like an anaconda just because she’d been scared of a mouse. It was bad enough that I couldn’t get the girl out of my head. It was worse now that I could hear her moaning my name.