by Malone, Nana
I really should've known that trying to probe into Sebastian's mind would earn me some uncomfortable questions of my own. I just hadn't been able to resist the lure of finding out more about him. The private things. And as I'd already crossed the line, there really was no going back. Too late to consider the consequences now.
"Your turn. What about you? Any siblings?"
I told the truth. "Yep. One. He’s in the family business and the pride of my father's eyes."
He frowned. "I'm sure your father is proud of you too."
"You’ve been listening, right? He's not. But it's okay. I don't think I want him proud of me for doing something I don't really want to do, you know?"
He nodded. "Do I ever." He bit his bottom lip and seemed to consider for a moment. "Favorite breakfast?"
I grinned. These questions I could answer. "Pancakes."
"Can you tell me the circumstances around the elevator situation? Why would he do something like that?"
I stiffened in his arms. But he held me close and kissed my forehead.
"You don't have to tell me. I was just wondering something about you."
"Who the hell knows. My, uh, cousin … Like I said, he locked me in a closet when I was little and wouldn't let me out for hours. At first I thought maybe it was a joke, but I realized he really just hated me. My parents were frantic. Then at the end of it, he acted like it was just a game."
"That sociopathic asshole. I have a cousin like that who did similar things. And of course he got away with it all the time."
I nodded. Of course there’d be similarity. I was talking about his cousin. But he doesn't know that. Because I was lying to him.
I shoved that aside. I would deal with that later. I was just grateful we were at my place. At least there were no bugs in here so Ariel hadn’t heard that little bomb drop about Lucas. I would tell her because it would inform what we were doing here, but shit. The real question was whether I should tell King Cassius that I knew.
Lucas was his fucking brother. And he had a sister. Hell. I’d deal with that later. Much later. But for the moment, we were in a cocoon, a safe cocoon of just the two of us and the hot sex. And some questions. Shit, I had all the questions.
“So how long has Lucas known about you?”
“We just connected.”
“Where did he grow up? Are you going to take him to see your parents? I can’t imagine what it must be like.”
He went quiet for a moment, and I shut my mouth. “Sorry. I’m curious. I don’t mean to pry with all the questions.”
He shook his head. “It’s fine. On one hand, it’s great. But there’s a part of me that’s, I don't know, annoyed, I guess. My father sounded so happy when I told him I’d found Lucas. I'm not used to feeling like I have competition—for anything. I don't think I like it."
“Of course you don’t like it. No one does.” I laughed. "I mean look at you. It's a wonder women across the globe don't drop their panties."
His gaze met mine. "You didn't."
“Yeah, well. You were a bit of a dick.”
He chuckled. “And you unsettled the hell out of me. I was merely defending myself from an unforeseen assault on the senses.”
“No. You were being a prick.”
“I swear to God, I thought I would have to beg for mercy the day you were using my shower. Hell, I almost did beg.”
I slid my fingers down his pectoral muscles and his abs, heading for my new happy place. “I bet I can make you beg now.”
Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and groaned, but then he gently restrained my hands. "Trust me, I’m going to be buried inside you again soon enough. I’m going to suck on your pretty nipples … again. Tease you a little bit but never give you what you want until you beg.” His fingers skimmed just under my breasts. “Then I’m going to use my mouth on you. I’m going to lick and suck on your perfect pussy. Spread those gorgeous lips apart and go to town on your clit.”
Oh. Holy. Fuck. Me. “Sebastian … ” With his words, he slowly teased me, as if he had nothing but time.
“Shhh, sweetheart, I’m still talking. I’m going to slide my fingers inside you, adding one, then another while I suck on that perfect, sweet button. And then after that, I’m going to fuck you. I might want to start with you riding me. I think I might like the show of your perfect tits on display.”
Holy shit. I squirmed, and my core pulled tight. I liked what he was saying. I liked how he was saying it, his voice low and full of promise. Warming me from the inside out.
“No matter what else we do, I’ll want you on your hands and knees last. First, because it will give me the most perfect view of your ass. But also because I think I’ll be able to go deep. I want to see if you clutch the sheets. I also want to feel the way you squeeze my dick as though you’ll never let me go.”
“Sebastian, please.”
I was not above begging. I was wet, horny, and ached deep in my core. His skill for dirty talk was killing me.
He licked his lips as his large hand cupped my breast. “While I want nothing more than to make all of that happen right now, I still want to talk to you first. So for now, you're going to answer some more questions.” His thumb brushed over my nipple and I shivered.
“Sebastian, that’s not playing fair.”
“Who said anything about fair?”
He continued asking me every random thing he could think of. From my favorite color, to whether I preferred socks or tights. And even though he cataloged each of my responses, I knew it wasn't about that. He wanted the time with me. Just like I wanted the time with him.
We were both working on a borrowed chunk of it. We both knew we would eventually have to return home, and when we did, neither one of us could have the other. He was the crown prince, and I was his guard. Except he didn’t know that, but when he discovered it, he wouldn’t want to be with me anymore.
The knowledge made my heart squeeze. And even though he was hiding who he was too, I knew that mine was a far greater betrayal. I needed to tell him, but I couldn't. His life was in danger and I’d already seen evidence of that twice. The girl at the bar. The gunman. I didn't know who was trying to hurt him, but I knew that they were serious about it.
So I needed to do my job, and I could only do that if he didn’t know the truth. And despite how I felt about him, I could do my job well without letting any of that get in the way. Because I might not be the best King’s Guard, but I might be exactly what he needed in a Prince’s Guard. I understood him and knew exactly what he needed. I understood what he was trying to run away from, trying to escape. And if I could help him tap into some of that in a safe, controlled environment, I might be able to keep him safe for now.
27
Penny …
“You’re supposed to be relaxing. Why aren’t you relaxing?”
Ariel and I had headed uptown earlier that morning for some shopping and lunch in the park. Blake Security had three men on Sebastian today, so we had the rare day off, but somehow I was still tense. Like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. So far, after that little brush with death, there had been no other attempts on him. After a conversation with the King, we rotated in more Blake Security men. We had good coverage on the prince so why was I so tense?
You know why you’re tense.
I had to tell her. I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. I’d screwed up and I needed my friend. “I need to tell you something.”
Ariel took a sip of her blueberry lemonade concoction, and then she set it down and sat back. “You mean about you and Sebastian sleeping together?”
My mouth fell open.
Ariel shrugged. “Honey, I’d have to be blind not to notice. You guys are into each other. You have been from the start. Trying to pretend otherwise is sort of futile.”
“But, b—but it just happened.”
Ariel nodded. “That much I can see, or rather I can guess from your glowing look. We don’t have listening devices in your apartment, thank
God, but it’s written all over you. And thank you for not making me listen to that shit by boning him in his apartment. Because I love you, but … Eww! I feel like I shouldn’t know what your ‘O’ sounds are.”
I let my head drop into my palms. “I don’t know how it happened. At first I was trying to get close to him to be able to do my job, you know? Keep him safe. Convince him to go home. I thought it was working. We were friends, sort of. And then … I don’t know what happened. It was just … We were getting closer and … God, I am such a fool.”
Ariel shook her head. “No honey, you’re a woman. He is gorgeous, and from the sounds of it, sweet. He’s into you. It’s not like you’re chasing after some guy. He wants you, and you want him. It’s kind of inevitable.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“Isn’t it? This is the part where you ride off into the sunset.”
I just stared at her. What happened to my calm, rational friend? She was the one being romantic all of a sudden. “You’ve forgotten the tiny little detail about the fact that I’m lying to him. Oh and the fact that I’m a commoner. I have no royal blood. We can’t be together, at least not as the law stands. And that’s a little cart-before-horse since he doesn’t even know my real name.”
Ariel scrunched her nose. “Yeah. I mean technically, it’s more of an omission than a lie because you really do want to be an artist. You don’t want to be a Royal Guard. So that’s the truth. Plus, you’re being truthful in your interactions with him. Len is really just a version of Penelope. It’s what your family used to call you when you were little. It’s all the truth.”
“I think you’re splitting hairs. What happened to my cool, calculating, rational friend?”
Ariel shrugged. “You forget I also love cheesy romantic Christmas movies. I’m a woman. I’m complicated. I can be more than one thing.”
“So what do I do? I mean, the king needs us back in a matter of weeks. That’s my deadline. I promised I’d have him home. So do I tell Sebastian the truth now and have him leave, keep lying and try to convince him to go home, or worse yet, call in the Guard who will force him to go home? The King only said to convince him to come. Maybe I have a loose definition of convince.”
For once, Ariel didn’t have a snappy comeback. She chewed her bottom lip. “Okay, as tempting as it is to try and force his hand to go home, I think calling the Guard in is a mistake.”
“Well, you would be in the minority because Dad and Michael seemed to think it’s a fantastic idea.”
Ariel raised her brow. “Yes, but for two very different reasons. I have to say I’m very disappointed in my future husband’s take on this whole thing. He wanted you out of the way so he could take credit, and that doesn’t sound like Michael at all.”
I smirked. That actually sounded exactly like Michael. “Yeah well, that’s not going to happen. If I do call the Guard, I’ll be staying. He won’t get the credit and take this from me. At the same time, how could I do that to Sebastian?”
“Honey, you would never do that. That’s not even a real option. There’s no way you would call in theGuard, because you know that would hurt him. And that’s not you.”
I wish that was true. “Apparently it is me because no matter what happens now I am going to hurt him.”
Ariel pondered this some more. “Okay, well your father is trying to protect you. As misguided as that is, it’s sort of sweet. Maybe your dad could come to get him. He wouldn’t need all the guards. He’s head of security, and Sebastian respects him. Maybe he’d go with him.”
The more I thought about this, the more I didn’t like this idea. “No. None of these are working for me. I feel like I just need to tell him the truth. The idea of failing kills me, but his safety is more important. Maybe if I just tell him that his life is in danger and that his father sent me to keep him safe, that would be fine. And things will work out.”
Ariel sipped on her drink. “So you’re going to tell him the truth. You think that’s going to fly?”
I sighed. “I have no idea. Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing. It wasn’t supposed to feel like this. I didn’t think that we’d get this close. I thought I’d be his spunky neighbor and we’d grow close over hijinks like an old ‘80s’ sitcom. This whole job has me so confused. On the one hand, I feel alive and like I’m doing the right thing, and I’m finally coming into my own as a Royal Guard. On the other hand, I’m getting to explore my art and a part of me that I have loved for so long. But then, like an idiot, I went and fell in love with the person I was supposed to be protecting. Gosh, how stupid was that?”
Ariel leaned forward and took my hand. “Honey, it’s not stupid. He listens to you. He understands you. That’s a damn sight better than Robert ever did. Sebastian spends time with you and treats you like you deserve. He’s not someone who constantly runs out on you, one who is never there when you need him, or who does everything to avoid being alone with you.”
I couldn’t help it. My eyes stung with fresh tears. But I blinked them away. She was right. Sebastian was there for me in a way that Robert had never been but also in a way that my father had never been. He didn’t think any of my ideas were silly. He saw who I wanted to be, and he accepted it. “I’m so screwed. It’s not like we can be together. As soon as we return to the Winston Isles, this is over.”
Ariel sat back and crossed her arms. “He’s the prince. He can push for a vote allowing royal marriage to commoners. But wait … Is that even a law? I mean, I know it’s a custom, and I know that the stupid Regents Council would have to vote on it. But this is insane.”
I gaped at her. “Oh my God. He doesn’t want to marry me. That’s not even a possibility. Like I said earlier, there’s that tiny detail about him not even knowing who I am.”
Ariel was right though. He could do all those things to be with me. But that wasn’t even what this was about. He had a very specific life to live, one that I couldn’t be a part of and that I would be shut out of as soon as he knew who I was.
I was the one who’d fallen in love with him. I was the one who would have to walk away in the end, no matter how badly it hurt.
* * *
Sebastian …
This was the wrong time for this conversation. I was distracted. My mind was on Len. But I needed to get Lucas on board. The problem with learning not to be a prick was that it made me feel bad about shoving that kind of responsibility onto Lucas’s shoulders.
But if you can go through with it, maybe it would be possible to keep Len.
The idea of giving her up twisted my gut.
“It’s not always so complicated. I swear though: you’ll love the islands.”
Lucas leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees. “I’ve actually been thinking about it … what you said about going to meet him, my father.”
My heart started to jackknife. Easy does it. Don’t look too desperate. “Oh yeah? What were you thinking?”
Lucas met my gaze. “I think I want to do it. Go home or whatever. Meet him. Look, I know it’s not easy being the firstborn, and I know that you’ve had a lot of pressure on you. I know that you’re looking for me to possibly step into your place, but I don’t know about all that yet. I figure I should go see the place you’re from first, and at the very least, I’d like to meet him and see what it is you love about the islands.”
Relief washed through me. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. If everything went right and all the stars aligned, I could just become a normal person. It could be possible. I could be with her.
* * *
Sebastian …
Later that night, my fingertips trailed up Len’s nude back. She was sound asleep, lying across my chest. I’d never been more comfortable in my life. I could be here forever. On her night stand, my phone buzzed. I lifted my head up to take a quick look at who was calling.
International number. Shit. It was my father.
I hated to leave the bed, but I needed to tell him that Lucas
was coming home. I had managed it. And now all he had to do was make Lucas love it. That was his job. The island would do the rest.
I silently shifted Len slightly. She grumbled low in her sleep, but when I substituted a pillow for my warm chest, she wrapped herself around it halfway. She shifted some, revealing the curve of her naked ass, and I considered not answering my phone. But for once I did the calm, rational thing and covered her up again. I took my phone and headed to the balcony. “Hello?”
“Sebastian.”
“Sorry, Dad, give me a second.” I headed across her balcony toward my apartment and closed the door so I could talk more freely. Somehow that conversation with Lucas the other night had only exacerbated the fact that I was lying to her. It was gnawing at me all the time.
I’d nearly told her six or seven times as it was. I’d nearly blurted out, “Hey, I’m the crown prince of the Winston Isles. How do you feel about living on the islands?” But I hadn’t had the courage to do so.
“You sound tired. Were you sleeping?”
I was not going to tell him what I had been doing. “No, I was just leaving. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you, son.”
“I miss you too.” I missed it all: being home, the people, and the island. “I’ve actually got some news for you.”
My father was silent for a beat. “You do?”
“Yeah. I’ll uh … I’ll be home in time for the vote.”
Another beat of silence. “You’re sure?”
I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “I’ve been gone long enough. And I’ll be bringing Lucas with me.”
“He’s coming?”
“Yeah, we’ve been talking about the Winston Isles and he wants to see it. So I’m gonna bring him with me in another couple of weeks. He has exams to take first, but then, yeah, we’ll head out in time for my birthday.”
“Wow. I don’t even know what to say. Suddenly I’m nervous.”