by S. L. Naeole
I already knew that. Sometimes it felt like I had been born knowing that. “Don’t tell him that though, Dad. He might seem like he’s got the patience of a saint, but he’s got an ego and that’s all I need, for him to start strutting like a peacock because he has your approval.”
Dad began to chuckle again, and I felt his body rock as he shook his head. “Just because I believe he’s good for you, that doesn’t mean I approve of him. He’s done some stupid things, too, like removing your casts and not telling us about Mr. Frey—why didn’t you at least tell me, Grace? I wouldn’t have thought you were telling me anything but the truth, you know that. You’ve never lied to me, so there are no trust issues between us.”
Though he waited for me to respond, I couldn’t. Dad said that I had never lied to him, but he was wrong. I had been lying to everyone I cared about for the past six months, lied to everyone that I loved, and it was starting to wear on me, but the rapid pace of events wasn’t giving me much opportunity to dwell on it.
Dad pulled me into the house and led me to the couch, where Graham was currently seated, a phone pressed to his ear, one hand covering his eyes in apparent exasperation.
“Mom—no, you don’t have to come, I’m okay. Yes, I’m still getting on the plane tomorrow. I don’t know. I don’t know, Mom. No, no he didn’t. Yes, yes but no-” The conversation continued like that for several more minutes.
When Graham’s call ended, Janice took the phone from him and returned it to its cradle. Dad coughed uncomfortably and I looked down at the floor, unsure of what exactly to say.
“So,” Graham began, sighing as he did so. “I convinced Mom not to fly up here. She’s pissed, but she’s not coming.”
“And tomorrow?” Janice asked.
“I still leave in the morning. Stacy is going to be dropping me off so you won’t have to disrupt your wedding preparations,” Graham replied. “I’m really sorry for all of this-”
“Ugh—Don’t apologize, Graham. You didn’t do anything wrong, and even if you did, you didn’t do anything to deserve what just happened,” I shouted, cutting him off. After several minutes of silence I looked at him, puzzled. “Did you say that Stacy is taking you to the airport?”
He smiled and bobbed his head once. “Yeah. Weird, isn’t it? We never got along before we started dating, barely got along while we were dating, and now she’s doing favors for me.” His head snapped up and he looked towards the door, a nervous expression crossing his face. “You don’t think that the police will arrest her for assault, do you?”
I shook my head. “No. Robert is going to take care of everything. He’ll make sure they don’t arrest her or you; if anyone gets arrested, it’ll probably be your dad. It might actually do him some good.”
“Grace,” Dad interjected, “why don’t you and Graham go up to your room. I’m going to go back outside and speak to the police myself.”
Graham and I looked at each other and both stood up. I followed him upstairs and together we walked into my room, both of us collapsing onto the floor beside the bed in emotional defeat.
“Things are going to be okay, Graham,” I said reassuringly.
“I know. Dad’s just doing this to try and prove a point to my mom, that she still cares about him. I told him that she already has a new boyfriend, and that’s when he called the cops.”
Shock kept me silent.
“What? Oh, I didn’t tell you. Yeah—she’s dating this real estate agent. His name’s Roy. He’s alright I suppose. I met him at Christmas. He and mom apparently met at some sort of Realtor convention she went to last year and they really hit it off.”
My eyes were large with this new bit of information. “You mean your mom and he…”
Graham sighed. “Yeah. I guess in Mom’s mind, it wasn’t cheating since she and Dad hadn’t really been together-together, you know?. I’m not bothered by it, even though I know I should be. If I were my mom, I wouldn’t have stuck around either.”
I placed my hand over his and patted it. “But you did.”
The low laughter filled the quiet of my room as he nodded. “Yeah, I guess I did. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom, not like I loved my nana, but she’s never really been…a mom. She’s always tried to be more like my friend, always showing me off, her handsome, football star son. Ever since homecoming though, she’s been pretty much okay with keeping me out of her spotlight.”
“Because we lost the game,” I muttered.
“Basically, yeah. That game was a big let-down for her, but it was one of the best days of my life.”
I turned my head to look at him. “The other team got a triple-digit score…in football. How in the world was that one of the best days of your life?”
Graham’s hand beneath mind flipped over and he twined his fingers with mine. “We started to hang out again, remember? You won that stupid costume contest, and Lark…”
“Graham, what did you give to Robert?” I asked when his voice trailed off.
“I gave him my word that I’d leave Lark alone.”
My fingers clenched around his as I railed into him. “You did what? How could you do that? You love her!”
“Ow—yes, I do—ow, Grace! Ow! Let go!” Graham pried his fingers free from mine and began to rub his hand. “Geez, you’d think I just told him that I’d leave you alone or something! Look, I’m not going to get anywhere with either of them if I keep hounding him. He’s got to know that I respect his decision to take care of his little sister, to protect her-”
“But she doesn’t need protection from him!”
“I know she doesn’t. I just…it just felt like the right thing to do. It was bad enough having to deal with five disapproving brothers with Stacy. If Robert and I can’t come to some kind of mutual understanding, there’s no hope for Lark and I, and that’s only going to make things harder for the two of you. I can’t accept that, Grace. I’ve caused too much pain in your life already.”
“Only when you weren’t in it,” I said in retort, though softly.
“I suffered, too.”
We sat there in silence until a soft knock came from my door. “Come in,” I responded.
Stacy and Robert walked in, followed by Dad, a look of satisfaction on all of their faces.
“Well, no charges will be filed…against anyone for what happened today,” Dad announced. “Graham, your dad has agreed to go to a treatment facility in Mason in exchange for Stacy not pressing charges against him for assault. He’s very lucky that Stacy agreed to this because it looks like your father was the one who supplied Mr. Frey with all that alcohol the day that he hit Grace.”
My eyes bulged and I heard Graham’s grunt of surprise.
“What?” we both said in unison.
“According to Richard, Mr. Frey was here drinking all morning on the day that you were hit, Grace. Your teacher didn’t admit to that, apparently trying to keep his friend from getting into trouble, but Richard didn’t know that. The police aren’t going to charge him yet, and might not either if he continues with his rehabilitation, but nothing is set in stone. He wants to say goodbye to you, Graham,” Dad finished.
I looked at Graham and saw the crack in his strong exterior as he turned to face me. “It’s not your fault,” I said to him quickly, seeing where his train of thought was leading him. “You didn’t know, this wasn’t your fault.”
Graham shook his head in defiance. “I don’t want to see him.”
“Graham,” Stacy whispered, “He’s your father. He did some pretty stupid things, but you’re going away for a week and he’s going away, too. You’re going to hate yourself if something happens and the last thing you said to him was ‘get off her you drunken bastard’.” Stacy popped her head up to look at us. “What? That’s what he said!”
“I’ll go down with you,” Robert spoke up. I looked at him in surprise. He kept his eyes focused on Graham. “Stacy is right. Say goodbye to him.”
Graham gave in and, after standing up, walked
downstairs behind Robert. I shook my head at the odd picture they made. Dad smiled at me and then made his way out of the room as well. “Thanks, Dad,” I called out to him before his head disappeared.
“No problem, Kiddo,” he replied.
“Stacy?”
“Yeah?” she answered as she sat down next to me, occupying the spot that Graham had vacated.
“What did you do to Richard?”
She broke out into a fit of giggles at my question. “Nothing. I guess Graham told a few stories about me to his dad or something because as soon as I took a step towards him, he began to flip out and tripped over the trash on the floor.”
“Oh.”
“Why?”
“I just thought that it would be something that you could tell your grandchildren one day—how you took out both your ex-boyfriend and his dad.”
Stacy smiled half-heartedly. “Yeah. That would be something.”
I nudged her with my elbow and laughed. “What a start to spring break though, huh?”
Her smile widened as she nodded. “No doubt.”
ROLES
The following morning, Graham had packed everything he had with him into two large duffle bags. I woke up early to make him a breakfast of actual bacon and eggs, and we spent a good hour just talking before Stacy arrived to take him to the airport.
“You’re my best friend, Grace,” he said before he left. “I don’t think I could have made it through any of this without you.”
I jabbed his arm with my fist lightly, not knowing what else to say or do at this point. His smile was warm and comforting, and I felt relaxed knowing that, for the next week at least, he’d be spending more time worrying about his tan and how to keep from drowning than anything going on here.
“I’ll see you in a week!” he shouted from the car. Stacy’s small hand waved at me from the driver’s seat just before they pulled out.
It was still dark so I decided to head back up to bed. Robert lay there waiting, his arms open in a warm invitation. I crawled into them and snuggled up against his chest, hiding my tear streaked face against his shirt and hoping I didn’t cause too much damage to the expensive fabric.
“You know I don’t care about those things, love,” he said softly against my hair. “I’m only concerned with how you’re feeling. If you need to cry, cry. I understand.”
“Why? Why are you being so understanding about Graham now?” I sniffled.
A long sigh, followed by a soft chuckle disturbed the quiet. “Because when he had a chance to use his own misery against everyone, he chose not to. He’s a lot like you, you know. He’s different from a lot of the humans here who would use their problems as an excuse for their behavior. Instead, he’s gone out of his way to do and be everything but.”
“What do you mean?”
Robert’s hand began to stroke the back of my head as he explained. “You’ve been through a great deal of trauma in your life, endured the scorn and ridicule of your peers, and yet you’re still warm and welcoming, loving and generous. You’ve never blamed your circumstances for your actions, and have always treated everyone fairly, even if they haven’t done so to you.
“Graham has shown me that he is the same. I admit to having misjudged him on many occasions, but yesterday he did something that no human has ever been interested in Lark has ever done without being threatened to do so.”
“He gave up,” I concluded for him.
“He told you.”
“I asked,” I admitted.
“Well, yes. He gave up. I didn’t expect it, to be quite honest with you. There are two people who fill his thoughts on a daily basis; you are one of them,” Robert told me. “You’re constantly in my thoughts, too, but for me, I view you in the same way that he views Lark, and I know how difficult it is to be without you, how suffocating it feels to not have you near me.
“You’re the air that I need to breathe and the heartbeat that keeps me alive. In those false memories you have, you said that I didn’t exist; that’s true. If I had never met you, Grace, I wouldn’t exist. I know that with unwavering certainty. And if I feel this way, I know that, even if only in a human capacity, Graham must feel something like this, too.”
Something stirred inside of me, something that I didn’t know had been lying dormant and undiscovered that love hadn’t touched yet. “You’re truly amazing,” I whispered.
“Why? Because I’m a stubborn angel who took too long to realize something that you already knew?”
I laughed, the sound burying into his chest. “No, because you’ve made me see something that I didn’t know I wanted.”
“And what is that?”
I shook my head and kept my secret to myself. “I’m not telling you.”
Robert groaned as he came up against the mental block that he had helped me to master. “I’m beginning to think that all of those moments where you claimed you didn’t know you were hiding your thoughts were just ruses.”
I continued to laugh as he prodded me to tell him what I had learned, but I remained steadfast. “You’re not learning anything from me until I’m ready,” I vowed, and giggled when he shifted his body quickly, flipping me over onto my back, his torso pressed up against mine.
“I can make you tell me, you know,” Robert teased.
“I look forward to it,” I said with a sly smile.
Slowly, he lowered his mouth onto mine, our lips molding to each other’s. The simple contact was enough to turn my heartbeat into its own little drum machine and the pace of my breathing matched its speed as Robert began to push against my mouth, nudging my lips open with gentle persuasion. I heard myself moan and reached my arms up to try and keep him from pulling away before I could taste-
“Grace?” A knocking at my door caught my attention and I groaned in disappointment. Robert was gone.
“Yes?” I answered, not bothering to hide my annoyance at the disturbance and what it had cost me.
“Did I wake you from a good dream?” It was Janice, her voice sounding amused.
“Better,” I mumbled and, with a grunt of disapproval, climbed back out of bed. I opened the door to see Janice standing in front of me, a long, white bag hanging across her arm. “What’s up, Janice?”
She saw the direction of my gaze and smiled. She pulled the bag off her arm and handed it to me. “I thought that we could talk, and that I could also give you your dress.”
I took the garment bag and walked over to my closet, slowly opening it up, hoping that Robert wasn’t standing in there—hiding. With a sigh of relief, I saw that he wasn’t, and hung the bag up next to the other one that held the tattered remains of the only other dress I owned.
“You can look at it if you want,” Janice insisted, sitting down on my bed. “I admit that I was kind of paranoid that you’d see the dress and then not want to wear it if I showed it to you too early. But since it’s so close to the wedding, I thought that if you didn’t want to wear it, you deserved to have at least some time to find yourself something different to wear.”
I shook my head and smiled at her as I sat down next to her. “I’ll wear it.”
“Even if it has ruffles?”
I eyed her, my mouth turned down in distaste. “You didn’t buy a dress with ruffles, did you?”
She laughed and shook her head. “No. Trust me to at least know what you like and don’t like, Grace.”
“Whew,” I said with a rush. “I was worried for a second.”
Janice suddenly sobered up and I did so as well in response. “I wanted to ask you something, Grace. I didn’t do it when I should have, and I know that I’ll regret it if I never do, so you’re going to have to humor me while I do this, okay?”
Confused, I nodded. “Okay…”
Looking into my eyes, Janice reached for my hand and held them in her lap. She smiled at me nervously, and I returned a smile of encouragement, something that, surprisingly, came very naturally.
“Grace, I wanted to ask you for permiss
ion to marry your father. He’s been all yours for such a long time, so I know that the idea of sharing him might be something that you’re not quite willing to accept, but I do love him…immensely, and I promise to keep on loving him for as long as these old bones of mine allow.”
I looked at her with surprise. “Janice, I wasn’t expecting this. Wow. Usually you hear about the groom asking the bride’s family for permission, not the bride asking the child.”
Janice laughed. “Well, these aren’t usual circumstances.”
I joined her in laughing as I replied, “No, you’re right. These aren’t the usual set of circumstances. Not here, anyway, but yes, you have my permission to marry my dad.”
Janice’s arms went around my shoulders in an initially awkward embrace that grew more sure as my own went around her. “You’re something special, Grace. Your dad always said that about you, and he’s right. You’re one incredible young lady.”
“I try,” I said jokingly as we separated.
She smiled and patted my leg. “I wanted to also talk to you about my role in this family, Grace. I wanted to make sure you understood that I’m not looking to replace your mother, or even become your step-mom. You’re eighteen now, and far too old to be gaining a new mother. But I would like to know that when your father and I do get married, that you’ll consider me your friend.”
This was something new, something I hadn’t expected, and it made me feel incredibly grateful that she was the one that my father had finally chosen to move on with. “Janice, that really means a lot to me. And I know that you’re not trying to replace my mom, but it still feels good to hear you say it.”
Janice’s smile was sincere. “I know your mother was an incredible woman, and I know that I can never take the place of her in your father’s heart—I don’t want to. I’m just glad that he’s made a place for me inn there; I can only hope that you’ll allow a little in there for me as well, because I do care a great deal for you.