“Charlee,” Ryan whispered softly as he stroked my head. “Where do you keep your toothbrush?”
“Downstairs in my bathroom,” I barely muttered.
“I’ll be right back.”
I lay still in a ball and wished for the nausea and head spinning to go away. I was so stupid. Why did I keep drinking those stupid delicious drinks? I had never felt so miserable in my life, and the man I loved just witnessed my stupidity and probably the grossest thing that had ever happened to me. I won’t even talk about the smell of it all. I wanted to die, literally and figuratively.
Ryan returned quickly with my toothbrush and toothpaste in hand. He set them down at the sink. He bent down and basically picked me up. I didn’t want to move. I felt like in doing so I really would die. “Come on, honey. Just rinse out your mouth and brush your teeth, and then I’ll take you to the couch.”
“Please, just let me die,” I moaned.
He chuckled softly. “Sorry, no can do.” He hoisted me up gently. He even put the toothpaste on the toothbrush for me.
I felt like Josh.
I slowly lifted the toothbrush and brushed my teeth at a snail’s pace and then rinsed out my mouth. I wasn’t sure that horrible taste was ever going anywhere, or the burn in my throat.
“Do you want me to carry you to the couch?” he asked.
“No, I’ve got it.”
He wrapped his arm around me, and we slowly made our way to the living room couch. I fell on the soft cushions of the light blue fabric couch. Ryan joined me and placed my head on his lap. He had also thought to bring up a blanket from my bed. He was the greatest boyfriend ever, though he was probably thinking of breaking up with me after my little exorcist event in the bathroom. Why couldn’t I be like a normal twenty-something who could drink alcohol without any issues?
“By the way, I love your bathroom decorations. I think the lacy pink one is my favorite.”
Ok, could this night get any better? First vomiting, and now all the bras I had hand washed earlier that morning hanging all over my bathroom. I moaned lowly as I lay there shivering. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Why? I’ve seen plenty of bras in my day.”
“The bras are the least of my concerns.”
He gently brushed my hair with his hand. “You know, I kind of like this part of you.”
“The pukey, incapacitated side?”
“No, the vulnerable side.”
I turned carefully to my other side, so I could see him. He was looking down at me so sweetly. He rested his hand on my clammy cheek.
His look was my undoing. “I … I …” I so badly wanted to tell him that I loved him. I almost did. I had never felt it stronger.
“You what?” he asked.
“Thank you, Ryan.” I chickened out. Thank you seemed entirely inadequate for the situation, but I didn’t know what else to say.
“You’re welcome.”
I closed my eyes to his gentle touch. “You know, I had the biggest crush on you when I was growing up.” I felt like I needed to offer him something. Something to the depth of how I felt about him.
He stopped stroking my hair and face for brief moment.
I didn’t bother opening my eyes to see his reaction.
“Really?” He took up touching me ever so softly again.
“It’s true.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“You can tell me anything.”
“That summer I got married, I used to look at you and think someday you were going to make some guy a very lucky man. Who knew it would be me?”
I curled up tighter against him and almost told him that I loved him again, but I stopped myself short. “If I could sit up, I would so kiss your face off right now.”
“I’ll take a rain check on that. You just rest.” He pulled the blanket tightly around me. I settled into him and drifted off to sleep, wishing that I had him to fall asleep to every night.
I’m not sure what time it was when I was awakened to the sound of Ryan and my dad talking. I heard the tail end of Ryan telling my dad what had happened. At least my dad was laughing. I was afraid he may be upset with Ryan, although it wasn’t even close to his fault and he was the best caretaker ever. I didn’t open my eyes or move away from Ryan. I liked where I was at. I didn’t say anything until my dad left. I did wonder, though, where my dad had been.
“What time is it?” I asked Ryan as I stirred.
“Just after midnight.”
It was late for my dad to be getting home.
I tried to sit up, but my head was really hurting. Instead, I moaned.
“Can I get you anything?”
“No. You’ve already done more than enough.”
“It’s late, I should probably go home.”
“Please don’t,” I said quickly. I opened my eyes to see his reaction. I wasn’t even sure why I said that, but I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
He looked at me with eyes that looked like burning evergreen bushes. He didn’t say anything; instead he kicked off his shoes, maneuvered me gently until he held me, and we were both comfortable on the couch. I snuggled into him. I wanted to stay there forever.
“You know, I’m risking my life for you.”
“My dad is all talk.”
He kissed my head. “Maybe, but I can’t think of a better way to go.”
“That may be the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to me.”
He pulled me closer to him, and I easily fell asleep with him holding me.
I stayed asleep until a little past five when Ryan woke me up by kissing my forehead. “I hate to go, but I better.”
My head still pounded, but I felt a little better. “Ok,” I whispered as I peered into those eyes of his. I wanted to wake up to that every morning. I wondered how he felt about eloping. “Thank you for everything.”
“Believe me, it was my pleasure,” he said as he sat up. In the process, I sat up, too.
He put his shoes on as I leaned against him. “I don’t think I’m going to make it in to work today.”
He laughed softly. “I don’t think so, either. I’m only working half the day. Josh starts school today.”
“Don’t forget to give him my gift and tell him I can’t wait to hear all about it this weekend.” I found him the cutest little fireman outfit and fire truck to go with it. I thought it was perfect. He loved his fire truck book and always got excited if he saw one while we were driving.
Ryan didn’t say anything, he just turned and kissed me once on the lips. I hope I didn’t have morning breath. I’d never kissed anyone first thing in the morning. It must have been ok because he smiled sexily when our lips parted. “I’ll call and check on you later, and then I’ll come by tonight.”
I nodded my head carefully in response.
As soon as he left, I laid back down and thought, I’m the luckiest woman in the world.
Chapter Twenty-Two
That night not only solidified my feelings for Ryan, but it also carried me through the lingering doubts the next few months would bring as we tried to make it work as a couple. But we weren’t just a couple, there was a third and fourth party. The third party I loved more than anything, the fourth party not so much. That night also helped me with another member that had joined the party.
My dad gently woke me up before he left for work. He was all smiles when he touched my head like he was checking for a fever.
“Dad, I don’t have the flu. I think this is what they call a hangover.”
He laughed. “Your mom could never hold her liquor, either.”
Believe me, I knew, but I didn’t mention it.
“So where were you last night? Do you have a girlfriend you’re not telling me about?”
His smile dropped, and he fidgeted next to me.
“Dad?”
“Baby girl,” he said nervously as he looked at the wall and not me. Then he took a deep breath and let it out. “I wasn’t sure how to tell you, but Felici
ty and I …”
“Felicity? As in your secretary Felicity?”
He reluctantly turned his attention back to me. “Yeah, that Felicity.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? How long have you been seeing her?”
“For a while, on and off.”
I sat up carefully. My dad leaned back, and I leaned on him.
“You could have told me. I’m not a child.”
“No, but you’re my child, and I wasn’t sure how you would feel about it. I can tell you don’t like Mark, and I didn’t want to rock the boat with you. You’re the most important person to me, honey.”
“Daddy, I’m happy for you. And I really like Felicity. I guess I know why Felicity has been so friendly to me.”
“That’s not the only reason. She thinks you’re the best.”
“I guess I was the complication she told me about when I asked if she was dating anyone.”
My dad wrapped his arm around me and laughed.
“So, do you love her?”
There was a long pause before he answered. “Yes, I think so. She’s quite a bit younger than me, but I’ve known her for a long time. I think we’re a good match.”
“Does Ryan know?”
“No, but I suppose he will soon.”
I kind of laughed. I still felt horrible; I wasn’t up for real laughter yet. “Yeah, I don’t know if I could keep this juicy secret to myself.”
“I don’t want to advertise it in the office; I think we have enough inter-office dating going on as it is. So how’s it going with you and Ryan?”
I sighed dreamily.
“That good, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, don’t go losing your head.”
“I won’t.”
“Do you need me to stay home with you?”
“Remember? Adult.”
“I know, but sometimes I wish you were still my little girl.”
I felt the same way sometimes. In the coming months, I would feel like that more often than I liked.
Don’t get me wrong, there were so many things that were terrific about Ryan’s and my relationship. Like I loved how he supported me. He, of course, finished the 10k in a beautiful time of just under thirty-five minutes and came in second place over-all. I ran it in forty-eight minutes, which is a respectable time, but nowhere near his level. But that didn’t matter to him. He was the first one there to greet me when I crossed the finish line. He even had enough strength to pick me up. I loved our sweaty kisses. The look of pride on his face was pretty sweet, too.
The day of the race was also the first time Felicity entered our world outside of work. She came to the race, and she and my dad watched Josh while we ran. I liked having Ryan with me as I got used to my dad being with another woman. I liked Felicity, a lot more than I ever liked Mark, but it was still weird. I mean, she was only seventeen years older than me and eleven years younger than my dad. Ryan was quick to remind me that I was also dating an older man. In a way, it was weird that my life and my dad’s life were paralleling each other that way. I never thought we would be dating at the same time and to top it off, both co-workers.
When I saw Felicity with Josh, it got me thinking. What if my dad and her married and she wanted kids of her own? Would my dad want to? I mean, he was fifty-three.
Ryan laughed at me. “You could have kids at the same time,” he teased.
I almost asked him if he wanted to be the dad, but I felt it was too forward and I was a little put out with him. The day before the race I found out from Josh that his dad hadn’t given him my gift on his first day of school, but waited until he picked him up that day for the weekend. After Josh went to bed that night, I questioned him about it because he was really uncomfortable when Josh mentioned it at dinner that night. I was proud of myself for not lambasting him right there.
“Why didn’t you give Josh my gift on Tuesday?” I asked as we were curled up on the couch together watching “Pretty in Pink.”
“Honestly?”
“No. Please lie to me.”
He paused the movie and paused himself for a moment. “I was planning on it, but Victoria was in a mood when I went to pick them up. She had been talking to Trixie that morning about the night before and it was over-exaggerated.”
“You’re kidding me, right?”
“I set her straight. I told her you weren’t drunk, well at least not on purpose.”
“Not that I would ever, but even if I was, that isn’t any of her business. I wasn’t driving and I’m an adult.”
“An adult that spends a lot of time with her son.”
I sat up and stared straight at him. I saw a touch of ‘maybe I just said the wrong thing,’ in his eyes. “And when have I ever been anything but responsible and loving with Josh?”
“You’ve been great with Josh, but she’s his mom and she worries.”
“Well, you’re his dad. Do you worry about me being with your son?”
“No, never. You’re amazing with him.”
“She’s never going to believe that unless you help her to see that.” I turned back around and faced the T.V., which hung above the fireplace.
“You’re right,” Ryan whispered in my ear as he pulled me to him. “I’m doing the best I know how to keep everyone happy.”
“I’m sorry for the pressure this causes you. And just so you know, it’s not your job to make me happy. That’s my job.”
“Really?” He kissed my neck. I felt his warm breath against my skin. “Because you make me happy.” He worked his way up to my ear. “Very happy,” he barely whispered.
I was definitely in my happy place. I sighed deeply. “Ryan …”
“Yes …”
“I’m happy we’re together.”
“Me, too.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
As the next couple of months progressed, I tried not to let the fourth party get in the way, but it was hard at times. It wasn’t anything big, more like minor annoyances, like the way she sneered at me anytime I saw her, or when she threw a fit with Ryan because he placed me as one of Josh’s emergency contacts at school.
Felicity became my sounding board. She knew a thing or two about waiting for a man and dealing with an ex-wife. Not that my mom and Victoria interfered in quite the same way, but I guess my dad’s love for my mom lingered over their relationship for quite a while. They had been seeing each other for a lot longer than I knew at first, like two years on and off. I was surprised Felicity had stayed working for my dad. It sounded like an emotional roller coaster. It made me like her more. She was patient and understanding, but she was no doormat. I loved how she didn’t push my dad, but she held her own ground. I tried to follow her example with Ryan.
We were well in the throes of autumn, and some days it felt like winter as we headed into November. The holidays were fast approaching, and so was Josh’s fourth birthday. He was beyond excited. Not only was his birthday going to be at one of those places where they had a variety of bounce houses, but his Grandma Kaye was coming in honor of him. I was looking forward to it, too. I hadn’t seen Mrs. Carter in forever, and it felt kind of big that Ryan was introducing me as his girlfriend now to his mom, even though she already knew me.
Ryan and I weren’t professing our love to each other, although I really wanted to. I was straight up in love with him, but I wasn’t sure how he felt. At times I thought he was in love with me, too, but it was as if there was this nagging question in the back of his mind about me. Like how he was nervous that he was taking me to Josh’s birthday party with his ex-wife there and her friends and even her brother and his family. He never came outright and said it, but I could tell he was uncomfortable with it. He kept giving me warnings about them. I even asked him if he was trying to scare me off, but, of course, he denied it.
I wasn’t going to miss it, though. I promised Josh I would be there, and I bought the best birthday present ever for him: a Nugget’s jersey and three center-court tickets to see the
m. The Nuggets were my all-time favorite professional team, and I had been priming Josh to follow in my footsteps. I had even bought one of those standing toy basketball hoops so we could play inside when it was cold and dark out. He was getting pretty good at making baskets. His dad and I even used it after he went to bed. I loved kicking Ryan’s butt at hoops, and I loved the way he tried to distract me from making my shots. Let’s just say, we ended up kissing way more than shooting.
I was also excited about Josh’s birthday because that was the day I was going to tell Ryan I made it into grad school again. It took some finagling on my part and some evaluations, but CSU finally agreed to let me enter their Master’s in Psychology program. I had been such a stress case about it, but Ryan kept encouraging me to keep pressing forward and not to take no for an answer. He even helped me craft some of my correspondence with the school. More reasons to love him. I had wrapped up my acceptance letter when I wrapped Josh’s gifts. I also included two ski-lift tickets for Thanksgiving, as a gift for Ryan. This was the first year he wouldn’t have Josh for that holiday, and I knew it was hard for him. I figured a day on the slopes and some fireplace and hot chocolate action were in order.
Kaye arrived on Friday, the day before Josh’s party. Ryan asked me to come to the airport with him and Josh to pick her up and take her to dinner.
There Kaye stood at Denver International Airport, with luggage in hand, waiting for us at arrivals. She still looked fabulous. It was like she hadn’t aged at all. She exuded elegance and grace as she stood there in her long woolen black coat, with perfect shining, bobbed, black hair.
Josh recognized her immediately and yelled out, “Grammy,” before Ryan even stopped the car.
Ryan and I both got out; Ryan to retrieve the luggage and hug his mom, me to move to the backseat, but before I could, Kaye happened upon me and hugged me tightly. “You are a vision and more beautiful than ever,” she said as she held me.
Trouble in Loveland Page 26