Blinded by You

by Terri E. Laine

  “Smart of you.”

  She grinned and we headed for a dressing room.

  Ashley and I made a show of oohing and aahing as Jamie tried on the dresses. But we had one final stop to make before we headed back. I hoped Jake wouldn’t kill me. He’d said anything Jamie wanted. I kept my fingers crossed that he’d meant it.

  When we finally got home, we hugged Ashley goodbye. She had a date with her guy and couldn’t stay for dinner. But it was the other car in the driveway that gave me pause.

  Ford came out and stared openly at Jamie.

  “Is that my beautiful granddaughter?”

  I watched as Jamie beamed at him. She was so cute, her hair freshly cut and a dress fit for a princess.

  “Wow, the guys won’t recognize you. Let’s go find Ed and play a trick on him.”

  They started to walk off, but I really wanted to see Jake’s face when he saw his daughter for the first time. I was rewarded when Jake came out of the house, grim-faced, until he saw Jamie. His expression changed to shock. The sparkling earrings could’ve been a part of that.

  “Is that my daughter?”

  Jamie nodded and they met each other halfway. He swung her up and spun her around. He’d given me a small smile before he’d seen her, and I would hang on to that. I couldn’t blame him for being awed. She looked a lot different than she had when we left.

  However, it was the woman who stepped out the door and came over to me who stole my joy.

  She held out her hand. “Hi, I’m Tara, Jamie’s mother.”

  17

  Honey

  How was I supposed to feel? Jamie’s mother, Jake’s ex, was here after all this time. I glanced over to see Jake crouched in front of Jamie looking as serious as Jamie’s rigid stance.

  Then my eyes dropped to Tara’s, Jamie’s mother, hand hanging midair, and it got awkward.

  So I took her limp hold in mine and cordially said, “Hi, I’m Honey.”

  Her smile was as warm as the day and her voice was sugary sweet.

  “Nice to meet you. I’m glad Jake has help with Jamie.”

  I was about to correct her, but I caught Ford’s eye. Before I could interpret what his look meant, she continued.

  “I’m hoping to take that responsibility off your hand and spend time with my daughter.”

  It felt like a slap in the face, though her words were as nice as could be. My grandmother taught me how to play nice. The truth was this woman left her child at birth. What gave her the right to think she could just walk right back into their lives?

  I couldn’t stop what came out of my mouth next.

  “That will be good. You should probably meet her first.”

  I breezed by her as if the indignation of her showing up out of the blue belonged to me. And immediately I hated myself for being so snippy. There were two sides to every story. Maybe her reasons for leaving weren’t as selfish as they appeared. And maybe the real reason I was pissy with her was because she was beautiful in every way I wasn’t.

  She was what guys would call a tall drink of cold water on a hot day like this. Her hair shined like she was a model in a shampoo commercial. Her body was toned and slim with gentle sloping curves all in the right places.

  More importantly, I’d grown close to Jamie in the short time I’d been at the farm. Quite frankly, I would have loved to call her mine. But now her mother was here and it wasn’t my place to stand between them.

  So I left the family reunion and hid in the only place I could. My room. It felt small when I made it inside. Though I didn’t want to face anyone in the family, I should cook dinner.

  After several cleansing breaths, I left the room for the kitchen where I chopped, I diced, I did everything I could to stay busy. No one had come inside until I placed the chicken in a cast iron skillet. The potatoes were roasting and I had veggies ready to blanch.

  The door swung open and Jake held it as the women in his life strolled in. Jamie’s tiny hand was in her mother’s and the resemblance between them was clear.

  Tara never once looked my way. She settled in the living room with her daughter at her side. Ford sat in his normal weathered leather chair. I couldn’t meet Jake’s eyes. I was a chicken shit, afraid of what I might see there.

  I turned to the stove and continued my tasks as if I were the hired household help as Tara suggested. As soon as the sizzle died down, it was quiet enough for me to hear the muted conversation and my blood went cold.

  “What was that, honey?” Though I snapped my head up, Tara wasn’t talking to me. Her focus was on her daughter. “Jake, what’s wrong with her.”

  Jamie hopped off the couch and ran to her dad with tears streaming down her face. My little darling clutched at her father’s legs and Jake wasn’t the least bit pleased.

  “There’s nothing wrong with her,” he declared in a way that broached no argument.

  “But—”

  Jake silenced Tara with a hand. “If you’d been around, you’d know.”

  She’d either figured it out or she knew better than to ask. She walked over to him and bent down with a hand on Jamie’s back.

  “I’m sorry, sweetie. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  Jamie’s eyes were red and my heart broke into a thousand pieces. There were so many things I wanted to say. It took everything I had not to go over there. Knowing it wasn’t my fight made me feel so out of place.

  I put that wasted effort into finishing up the meal. I set the table and laid the food out like a Thanksgiving meal, which was months away. By then everything between mother and daughter seemed patched up.

  “Oh, she cooks for you guys too?”

  Tara spoke to Jake like I wasn’t two feet away. Mind your manners, I chanted in my head. What was that saying, if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all. So I turned away, prepared to eat in my room. I had to be the bigger person if for no one else but for Jamie. This was her mother. I was just a stranger, the help who’d moved into the house.

  “She’s more than that,” Ford piped in.

  There was a bit of snark in his voice, but I’d closed my door to my room before I heard any more. If Jake said nothing, it would break me. So I ate alone, stewing and not enjoying a single bite. I pushed the food around on my plate more than I actually ate anything.

  Nothing seemed to go right and it continued with my timing, which was totally off. When I came out, the family looked cozy around the table. My heart ached like wearing heels and standing up in them all night. I walked into a discussion I would’ve rather not heard.

  “I was thinking maybe I could stay here. That way we have more time together,” Tara said.

  “The house is full,” Ford snapped.

  Clearly, he didn’t like her.

  Tara glanced at Jamie before turning her attention to Jake as she spoke. “I thought I could bunk with your dad.”

  I jerked my gaze in his direction, though he wasn’t looking at me.

  “If Jamie wants you to stay, you’re welcome to Honey’s room.”

  My jaw dropped as a million things crowded in my head.

  Tara turned a flirtatious smile on him. “I wouldn’t want to put her out. Besides, where would she sleep?”

  For a second I wanted to high five her, until I remembered she was my archnemesis after only knowing her less than a day.

  “Honey can bunk with me,” Jake said.

  My mouth snapped closed and I wanted to kiss the man. Tara aimed furious eyes at me. It was the first time she’d acknowledged my presence. I would’ve preened, but that would have been rude. Jake had said all that needed to. My heart lifted from where it had sunk in the pit of my belly.

  Then I remembered Jamie. Jake and I hadn’t exactly been open about our relationship to her or anyone for that matter. Ford grinned. Either he’d figured it out or was happy about the news. Jamie wore a mix of happiness and worry that I wasn’t sure what to make of.

  Tara swallowed audibly. “Something going on
between you two? Is that something our daughter should see?”

  Jake’s jaw clenched and I saw the muscles working.

  “If you would like to have this discussion, we can do so outside.”

  Tara placed a hand on her daughter’s. “Daddy and I need to talk. I’ll be right back.”

  Then she glared at me a second before following Jake outside.

  I went over to Jamie and smiled, hoping to put her mind at ease. “Would you like dessert?”

  “Ye-sss, ma’am,” she stammered while glancing at her mom.

  “It’s just Honey.” It felt like she was being put in the middle, so I added, “You’re as pretty as your mom.”

  She grinned and I could almost feel her relief.

  “Do you want to help me with the dishes after?”

  It had been our ritual, so I said nothing when she nodded. She followed me to the kitchen and sat on a stool. I cut her a piece of pie and scooped on some ice cream. I had neither, but got to work clearing the dishes.

  Jamie wolfed it down and came over to help. We’d just finished our last plate when Jake and Tara walked in.

  Jake’s hair was mussed like hands other than his own had been in it. The final plate slipped from my hand as I spotted the remnants of lipstick on his mouth.

  18

  Jake

  The clatter took us all by surprise. Though I’d begun moving in Honey’s direction, Tara’s hand clamped down on my arm to stop me.

  Her words full of manipulation replayed in my head. If I didn’t give her a chance, she would take me to court for full custody. Then she added how statistically speaking, women were granted that more than men.

  I had no clue if that was true or not, but it felt like she was right. I needed to contact my lawyer, an expense I really didn’t need at the moment.

  Still, I shrugged out of her grip and went to the kitchen where Honey was crouched picking up the shattered pieces.

  Pain lanced through her eyes when they met mine.

  “I’m good,” she said, getting to her feet and turning away from me.

  I was just about to explain when Tara’s words came out of nowhere.

  “Jake, honey, you have something here.”

  Tara wasn’t talking to the both of us with her honey comment. She just moved in like a snake, using her thumb to wipe over my mouth. I was reminded of the kiss she’d planted on me before marching in the house with triumph written on her face.

  I stepped away, but not before Honey dodged us both and left the kitchen spotless. I faced Tara, anger surely mottling my expression.

  “I think you should go,” I said.

  Her jaw dropped. “But I thought—”

  “You thought wrong.”

  “But—”

  “Just go, you’ve done enough,” I said, only noticing Jamie standing there.

  She turned and ran for her bedroom. I closed my eyes on the clusterfuck my day had become.

  “Just leave, Tara.”

  “Are you going to think about what I said?”

  I nodded and then went to find my daughter. On the way, I glanced at my dad, who seemed as displeased as I was.

  “Jamie,” I called out, rounding the corner.

  By the time I reached her room, she was curled up in a ball crying. I sat down on the bed, scooping up her tiny form and cradling her in my arms like I’d done when she was a baby.

  “Do you h-hate Mommy b-bbecause of H-honey?” she stammered, slipping over some words and stumbling over the others.

  I hated the divide Tara had created with her sudden appearance.

  “No, sweetheart. Let’s go find your mom. Do you want her to stay?”

  She nodded. I put her down and we walked out of her room. I hadn’t heard a door close, so I was fairly certain Tara hadn’t left yet.

  Had I screwed up by messing around with Honey and announcing that fact in front of my daughter? What had I been thinking? I closed my eyes a second before we entered the great room. I hadn’t wanted Honey to feel bad and instead my daughter was hurt by this mess.

  “Tara, can I speak with you?”

  A smile that had once dazzled me lit on her face. I glanced at Honey, who’d stood at the door like she’d been about to leave.

  She held out a hand. “Jamie, do you want to go check on the horses with me?”

  Jamie glanced at me and I nodded. She looked at her mother, who also gave her approval. Dad grumbled something and left the room. When the back door thumbed shut, I was left with a woman who’d once owned my heart.

  Tara arranged her hair so it cascaded down her back as she waited for me to say something.

  “You can stay.”

  She beamed like an LED light and moved forward. I put a halting hand up between us.

  “You can have my bed,” I offered through gritted teeth.

  “And where will you sleep?”

  Anywhere but with you, I thought. “The couch.”

  She placed her hands on my chest. “You don’t have to.”

  I stepped back. “I do.”

  “Actually, I didn’t bring a change of clothes.”

  “Then why—” I began with puzzlement.

  “Seeing her, you, I just reacted. I didn’t want to leave. I missed you both so much.”

  I didn’t point out that was her doing because I thought about how I might have married the woman before me. Would I have been happy?

  When I didn’t say anything, she gave me a flirty smile I’d forgotten.

  “You can borrow something of mine.”

  I would have rather not, but I couldn’t ask Honey to give her something either.

  “Great. I’m tuckered out. I think I’ll have a shower before tucking Jamie in. You can join me if you want.”

  She winked before disappearing down the hall to my room. I scrubbed my face. I was at a loss. I knew what I would have done before Honey entered my life and I knew what I wanted to do now that Honey was in it. But I had to think about what was best for my daughter and how I could ensure Tara didn’t take Jamie away from me.

  I snagged my phone from my pocket and headed to the back porch to make a call that Tara wouldn’t hear. Before I could make any decisions, I needed advice from my lawyer about my chances of getting full or partial custody of Jamie.

  19

  Honey

  We walked into the silent house.

  “You should get ready for bed,” I told Jamie.

  She nodded, but didn’t let go of my hand. I guessed the day’s events had left her needy and I understood. I followed her to her room and tried not to let the fact that Jake was nowhere to be found bother me.

  As I tucked her under the covers, she asked, “Do you like my daddy?”

  The question stumped me for a second. “I like all of you,” was my response. I reached down and tickled her. I couldn’t help myself. I bent down and pressed a kiss to her head. I’d come to love Jamie like she was my own. It was easy as she was totally lovable.

  Then she stopped me dead in my tracks. “Do you think my mommy and daddy will get back together?”

  It was a good thing I’d gotten up and turned to go. She didn’t see my wince or how I kept my eyes shut for two beats too long. She’d asked so confidently, not noticing she hadn’t stuttered a word.

  There was no good way to answer. I faced her and said, “Do you want them to?”

  Her smile was a little sad when she shrugged.

  “Get some sleep,” I said instead and flicked off the light.

  I couldn’t be sure of her non-verbal answer. She was a child who’d just met her mother for the first time. Of course she wanted her parents together. What child wouldn’t?

  As the door clicked shut, I took another few moments to collect myself before checking on Ford. He lay lightly snoring in his bed, which left only Jake unaccounted for. His door at the end of the hall had been closed with no light reflecting underneath. So the only two people missing were him and Tara.

  I walked all the
way to my door, but passed it and out the back. I placed my hand on my back and stretched, working out some of the tension in my muscles. Just as I straightened, a squeak left my lips as I was toppled into Jake’s lap.

  He’d snagged my arm so silently, I hadn’t noticed him until I lay sprawled across him.

  “Where are you going?” He didn’t give me a chance to answer. “I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me,” he admitted.

  Then his lips slid over mine as he cupped the back of the neck and drew me closer.

  Every thought I had dissolved into nothingness. A furnace built inside me like I was on fire. He must have felt it to, because he was on his feet with me cradled in his arms. I melted against him because he lifted my twenty—no, my thirty extra pounds like it was nothing.

  The screen door opened and we were under the darkened sky with only the stars and moon to light the way. I felt like I floated in his arms with nothing but air underneath me. I landed cocooned in a pile of hay with another squeak. But he was there, covering me with his big body.

  “I need you,” he demanded gruffly, his palm sliding up my shirt to palm my breast.

  As his intense eyes waited for permission, I nodded despite all the reasons we shouldn’t.

  His kiss was a rough as his hands as they fumbled with the button of my jeans. Once he finished, I levered up on my arms to raise my hips and help him remove them from my legs.

  He didn’t bother with taking anything else off of me, a testament to his waning restraint. A finger ghosted under the fabric between my legs. His big knuckle brushed over my opening, sending tingles down all the way to my toes. Then the connections of my panties snapped, giving him free rein. Calloused fingers tested my readiness as I fell to my back once again. All alone as we were with nothing but our panting breaths, I heard his zipper drop and nearly begged for him to hurry.

  I spread my legs in invitation. He took my cue and pushed inside me. I sucked in air, my body stretching and accepting all of him as he groaned.

  I barely had time to catch my breath before he started moving in earnest. The straw at my back was no bed, but it didn’t bother me much. Every sensation was focused on the nerves he slid against with each stroke.