He twirled me around and led me so well, making everything easy for me, and it was getting harder for me to control my attraction to him. At this moment, if he tried to kiss me, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to say no.
He spun me, but I was too lost in my wayward thoughts, not thinking about my steps at all. I landed on my foot in a bad way, and I fell down.
“Lindsey!” Carlos dropped to his knees next to me, carrying a worried expression on his face. “Are you okay?”
I sat up and wiggled my toe to see if I injured it, expecting the pain any moment, but there was none. “Yes, I’m okay.”
“I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.”
“Of course, it’s not your fault. I didn’t pay enough attention. I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“No, I want to help you inspect your injury. We can’t just dismiss your fall like it didn’t happen.” He looked at the group. “Ladies, we’re done for today. The class is over.” I gaped at him as he addressed them, bowled over because he cared. It had been so long since someone cared—so long that I couldn’t help but feel apprehensive and distrustful.
Glen hadn’t cared. Whenever I fell, bruised myself, or cut my finger, he didn’t even ask me if I was okay. I got so used to him giving me the cold shoulder, that Carlos’s worry now felt surreal.
He led me to the nearest chair when everyone left and squatted in front of me. The position felt too intimate, but he didn’t seem to notice that, focused on my leg.
“Obviously, I’m not a doctor, but I have some experience with injuries, so I know what to look for.”
He took me by my calf and raised my leg in the air. “What kind of injuries?” I asked, feeling his touch all through the flimsy material of my tights.
He didn’t meet my gaze. “Just some injuries. Does this hurt?” He pressed his fingers into my ankle.
“No.”
“And this?” He traced my calf and reached my knee, putting a slight pressure on it.
“Nothing at all.”
His eyes flickered up to meet mine. His hand was now on my upper thigh, and I turned rigid, wanting nothing more than to have that hand near my core. Hell, I wanted it on my core.
“And here?” he asked in a raspy voice. He was pressing into my hip, but all I could feel was the desire that rolled all over me.
“Nothing.” My voice was equally raspy, and the atmosphere between us suddenly shifted, my hands itching to pull him against me.
His fingers stopped in the middle of my thigh, and I had to fight to keep my breath even. I couldn’t believe this was happening. This was real. I wasn’t imagining anything. He wanted me as much as I wanted him, and for once, the voice of my doubt was silent.
Touch me. Kiss me. Do anything.
But he didn’t. He broke our eye contact and stood up, separating himself from me. Almost immediately, my doubt returned. He didn’t want me. Of course. Why would he want somebody like me? I wasn’t so special.
“Your leg and hip seem fine, but just to be sure, I’d check it out with your doctor.
I swallowed back my disappointment at our distance and threw a smile on my face, pretending like the last couple of seconds didn’t happen. “Thanks, but that won’t be necessary. I’m really fine, Carlos.”
“Either way, I’m so sorry. Look, I want you to come tomorrow at the same time for a private class.”
“Why?”
“It’s a part of my apology for not being more careful when we danced together.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s the least I can do. I told you I’d take care and go slow with you, but still, you fell. Por favor. Please.” He placed his hand on my shoulder, casting me a pleading look. I glanced at his hand on my shoulder, getting warmer again, and I didn’t know what to think of it. One moment hot, one moment cold.
“Come tomorrow.”
This is nothing, I reminded myself. He’s just doing this out of chivalry. Nothing else.
“If you’re sure… Then, okay.”
He smiled, revealing his perfect white teeth, and as always, this had a strong effect on me. “Perfecto. I can’t wait to see you again.”
Whoa.
And once more, just like that, he had me captivated. “I can’t wait too.”
5
I was on cloud nine, smiling so much that my colleagues kept asking me if I had won the lottery or something. This was way better than a lottery, and for the first time in a long while, I felt good.
My day was filled with tedious meetings, but they were bearable only because I knew I was going to see Carlos soon. The memory of him touching my leg stayed with me, and I even created a little fantasy in which his fingers didn’t stop on my thigh. They stopped right where I needed them, giving me the utmost pleasure.
I found a few extra minutes to call Nat and tell her about the private class, and she squealed in excitement.
“He definitely likes you,” Nat concluded.
I wasn’t sure at all. I couldn’t fully trust my judgment after Glen. What if I misunderstood his intentions? Maybe Carlos was just really sweet and protective with everyone. Yes, that could be just part of his natural charm.
“Or maybe he just feels guilty because of my fall.”
“Yeah, right. It’s not like you broke your leg, Linnie. Nope, he’s definitely interested in you.”
“Do you think something might happen during our private class?”
“Are you that naïve, girl? I would be surprised if it didn’t!”
I started to imagine myself doing more than dancing with him in his studio, but I knew better than to indulge my desires. It was one thing to have fantasies, it was another thing to actually follow through with them.
Would I be able to have casual sex with this man and keep it like that? I had to be real. There was no way he would want a relationship with me. Why would he? Sure, I’d been told I was pretty—long blonde hair and sky blue eyes were my most striking features—but I just didn’t believe in myself anymore. Men like Carlos were more likely to date someone who shone with self-confidence, which I most definitely didn’t.
I guess Glen’s constant put-downs really did a number on my head. There was a time when we argued and I threatened to leave, and he said I was lucky to have found someone like him because I was nothing special. And then all those times when he urged me to wear makeup when we went out because he thought I wasn’t pretty enough without it, and I complied because I wanted to do anything to make him happy. How pathetic was that?
“Girl, remember to use condoms,” Natalie told me, and I rolled my eyes. “And don’t forget to tell me all the details!”
“Of course,” I replied sarcastically. “I’ll even tell you what toothpaste he uses.”
“No need for the unnecessary details. Stick to the XXX things.”
“You know you’re obsessed, right?”
“You would be too if you’ve spent a whole two months without it!”
I let out a fake gasp. “No. Two months? Your vagina is going to wither away!”
“It just might happen.” She sighed. “I envy you so much, Linnie. I think I should go to some salsa studio too, and fish for sexy instructors.”
“Yeah, right. Calm your hormones, hot-stuff.”
“Impossible!”
“Anyway, I have to go now because my boss will chop my head off if I’m caught talking with you.”
“Sure. Have fun tonight. I’m sure you’re gonna learn a lot of new moves!”
I didn’t want to correct her and tell her there would be no sex. I’d let her make her own conclusions.
After work, I went home to get ready for the class, walking with a spring in my step. I had no clue what to wear. I shouldn’t be too obvious and wear something sexy, but again, I didn’t want to dress too casually, either. Maybe a dress would do? A dress and a pair of heels? My balance was back, and I could walk normally, so maybe one class in heels wouldn’t make a difference.
Just
as I got inside my apartment, my cell phone rang, and I saw an unknown number. It was probably Carlos. I’d left my contact number when I signed up for his classes, so he was probably calling me about tonight’s class.
With a smile, I answered the call. “Hello?”
“Hello, pumpkin.” I froze, getting chills. That voice. That nickname.
Why the hell was he calling me?
I closed my eyes, clenching my jaw as the old sorrow rushed to greet me. “What do you want, Glen?”
“Not even hi? How are you?” he asked as if I was the one who should apologize for anything. As if we were just old friends.
“Cut to the chase. Tell me. What do you want?”
“I wanted to tell you that I miss you, pumpkin. I miss your voice. I miss your body.” Jesus.
I covered my mouth with my hand and dropped on the couch, unusually weak. He didn’t have the right to speak to me like this. He had absolutely no right.
“We’re history, Glen. I can’t believe you’re actually calling me.”
“I want you back.” I flinched, all the breath sucked out of my lungs.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I’m very serious. I’m more serious than ever before,” he slurred.
I frowned. “Are you drunk?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t matter. I’d been thinking of calling you for days, and now that I can finally hear your voice…”
I fisted my hand on my lap, angry at him, but at the same time surprised that he was drunk when it was only six in the evening.
“Glen—”
“I realize how wrong I was, cupcake. I really do. I thought a lot about us this last month, and believe me, I’m a changed man now.”
I snorted and wrinkled my nose in disgust. “First of all, don’t call me that. And secondly, it doesn’t matter if you’ve changed or not.”
“No, don’t say it like that! Please. Please, please, please. I miss you so much. Come back to me. We’ll start over. Please, give me a chance.”
No. There was no way in hell I would ever do that. The reason why my chest hurt so much was that I heard these same words so many times before. Every time he screwed something up, he would beg me to forgive him and claimed he would become a better man. I always fell for his lies. Always.
Not anymore.
“You had many chances these last few years. I kept falling for your apologies and promises of a better future. I’m not the same old fool. I’d never go back to you. So you better remember that—”
“Please! I can’t live without you. I swear I can’t! You’re my reason to live. Here, I promise. I promise that if you come back, I’ll treat you better than I ever did.”
A huge lump formed in my throat. Just listening to him now brought back all those bad memories, and I didn’t need that in my life. Glen was like cancer. He spread through my system fast and killed me little by little on the inside. I had loved him so much, but I apparently never loved myself enough.
I would never return to that cycle of pain. “I don’t want to hear from you anymore. That’s my final word, so please don’t call me again.”
I ended the call, cutting his answer short, and slumped against the back of my couch. I was already emotionally exhausted, tormented by all those times I fell for his charm and let him have his way with me. I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to call and ask something like that from me. He was horrible.
I wasn’t going to let him get under my skin again.
Determined to forget about him, I pushed the thoughts of him aside and headed to my bedroom to get ready for my salsa class.
Carlos was alone in the studio when I arrived, his back turned to me as he rummaged through his gym bag. I used the chance to check him out, my mouth turning dry at how hot he was. His body was all muscle, and I couldn’t get enough of him. My mound pulsated at the thought of him in between my legs and… I shifted on my feet.
“Hey,” I told him to get his attention.
He spun around, wearing a dazzling smile. “Hey. You’re here. I’m glad you made it.”
He grew still when he saw me, his gaze moving down my body ever so slowly. I was wearing a sexy red dress that reached my knees but had a slit that revealed much of my thigh. I paired it with 2-inch heels. I’d never felt more self-conscious than now, noticing the look of appreciation in his eyes.
“You look gorgeous,” he said like he really meant it, and a faint blush spread over my cheeks. No one ever said I looked gorgeous. No one.
I bit into my lip. “Thank you.”
Why did I feel unusually shy? This was just a class. Nothing more. We were only going to dance. Right?
He approached and offered me his hand. “Shall we start?”
“I’m ready when you are.”
The music playing in the background was different than usual. It was slower and more sensual, and it was making my blood hum. Actually, everything felt different because we were all alone and the lights were dimmed, and I was more aware of him than ever.
My skin was burning, and I turned feverish in his arms. I felt him everywhere. We were dancing, but at the same time, it felt like much more, and I wanted it to last forever. We were in unison, moving as one—as if we had always been dancing together.
Each time his hand brushed my back or slid over my waist, I had to fight the need to lean into him. It was tantalizing. The sexual tension between us was as clear as a day, and whenever our faces came only inches closer to each other, it was like I was going to die if I didn’t get a taste of him.
He knew how I felt. I could see it in his eyes. He wanted me as well, which created this burning anticipation in me. Even when the song ended and we separated from each other, both breathless, I still expected him to do something. We didn’t move, facing each other in a silence that spoke more than any words could.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he told me, his voice husky.
I cocked my head to the side, my lips curling into a faint smile. “And why not?”
“Because I can’t resist you when you look at me like that.”
With that, he pulled me in and kissed me, his lips pressing against mine as if he was starving for me.
It was all I needed to get lost in abandon. I wrapped my arms around his neck and stepped as close to him as I could, reveling in the feel of his rock-hard body against mine. I could feel his arousal against my pussy, and heat bloomed in it, lust claiming all of me.
He backed me up until he had me pressed against the wall, his hands tracing my waist restlessly, and our kiss deepened. His tongue stroked mine fervently, eliciting a series of moans out of me as my hands explored his chest. Nothing mattered as he kissed me like I was the most delicious dessert.
A few intense minutes later, he leaned away to look at me, his hands resting low on my back. I wanted those hands on my ass. But I didn’t voice this.
He smiled, his eyes almost pitch black with desire. “You’re so beautiful, Lindsey. As beautiful as a rose.”
I grew stiff, my face falling. That was the exact thing Glen had said to me when we started seeing each other. You’re as beautiful as a rose.
And in the end, it was all a lie.
Suddenly, all the warmth was gone from my body, Carlos’s reminder bringing back all bad memories and insecurities.
I couldn’t do this. What was I thinking? I couldn’t trust Carlos. He could hurt me as easily as Glen, maybe even worse.
I pushed him away, already regretting this kiss.
“Lindsey? What’s wrong?”
I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes. I just picked up my things and exited the studio, pain forcing me to leave as quickly as I could.
6
I was having a coffee with Nat, needing a breather after the previous night’s breakdown. After I left the studio, I became really emotional, and I cried my heart out in bed. It was just like those last few days before I broke up with him. I was lonely and suffering terrible pain in my hip,
but Glen was nowhere to be found. And when I eventually found him, he laughed at me for being such a crybaby.
Now, here I was crying again. Glen’s call had definitely gotten to me more than I wanted to admit to myself, combined with how I acted after Carlos’s kiss.
“I can’t believe this,” Nat said, looking at me incredulously. “Glen called you?”
“Yes. He said he wanted me to come back to him.”
She almost choked on her sip of coffee. “He’s a delusional asshole.”
“You can say that again. He was drunk, Nat. He was drunk at 6 pm. I don’t even want to imagine what was going through his head at that moment.”
“I would’ve hung up on him. Please tell me you did that.”
“Not immediately.”
She groaned. “Ugh. So what did you say to him?”
“I told him I don’t want him to call me again. He begged me to give back him another chance, claiming he’s a changed man now.”
She snorted. “Yeah, right. And I’m Lady Gaga.”
“That’s exactly how I felt. I told him it didn’t matter because we were finished, but he didn’t want to listen. So I just ended the call.”
“He’s such a jerk. I can’t believe I used to think he was a great guy for you. It just shows that appearances can be deceiving.”
“True. But he’s dead wrong if he thinks I’d get over everything he’s done to me. I’m completely done with him.”
She clapped. “That’s the spirit! You gave him too many chances already.” She pursed her lips together. “To be honest, for a moment there, I thought you would give in or maybe consider getting back together with him.”
I gaped at her. “What? Why?”
“It’s just that your heart is too big, Linnie. You put up with a lotta shit, and you always forgave him. I think I was going gray with worry for you. And the worst thing was that I couldn’t do anything to pull you out of it. I really hated him.”
“I know. I know all of that now perfectly well. And I’m sorry for making you worried.”
“You don’t have to be sorry at all. I just wanted to punch that guy’s face time and again.”
Carlos Page 3