Our growing connection only made it harder for me to pretend in front of other salsa members that he didn’t attract me, and now, standing on the other side of the room as he taught us new moves, acting indifferent proved to be almost impossible.
It started out well. Our gazes locked over the room as usual, and he even winked at me twice when he was close to me and nobody was looking.
I wanted to giggle. I wanted to smile. I wanted to ogle him all the time. I wanted to pull him toward me and show him exactly what I wanted to do to him now.
But then jealousy reappeared, followed by a new wave of doubts, and all the progress I had made these last few days was gone in a few seconds.
It was all because of a new girl in the group, Tanya. She was a year younger than me, but she looked more beautiful than any of us here. It was no wonder that she nailed a modeling job when she was twelve, which she told us the first day she arrived.
She didn’t hide that she liked Carlos, and she often flirted with him, but so far, he didn’t react to her advances. Today, however, they looked awfully suspicious dancing together. He was dancing more with her than with others, and he looked at her like she was his reason for living.
They danced beautifully. Their bodies moved like they had been dancing forever. And their eyes conveyed emotions that made my throat close up. If someone created a picture of a perfect dancing couple, it would be those two.
But I saw more than that. I didn’t just see two dancers. I saw two lovers.
His hand was too low on her back, almost touching her ass, and his face was too close to her each time he spun her around. He even laughed at something that she had said in the middle of the dance, and when they did a dip, his face stopped too close to her chest and lingered there, and it was like a kick in the gut.
As if that wasn’t enough, he danced with others a little too close for my taste, and the doubts ate away at me. It was hard not to see him as a player when he danced that way with other women, each of his moves carrying a raw passion that had captivated me from the first moment I saw him in this studio.
He wore a smile when it was my turn to dance with him, but I couldn’t be thrilled about it at all. My mind told me it was all an act. Now, as he held my hands, there was nothing but churning in my stomach, and all I could think about was that he had gotten bored of me.
Yes, that was it. He had gotten bored of sex with me, and he most certainly had no interest in giving me his time of the day any longer. If he really felt the way he claimed, he wouldn’t be looking at Tanya with the gaze that he was directing only at me.
It was all a lie. I wasn’t special. I wasn’t the only woman who got his attention. And why wouldn’t it be a lie? After all, I had nothing on Tanya or the other girls.
“Are you okay?” Carlos asked me quietly.
I didn’t look at him, pretending to concentrate on the work of my legs. Just his question alone ripped through my heart, and I wanted to cry. No, I wasn’t okay at all.
“Lindsey? Is something wrong?”
I forced myself to smile and look back at him. “Nope. Everything is fine.” I was sure this sounded fake to him as it sounded to me.
“Is your hip okay?”
“Are you seriously asking me that now?” I bit at him and chuckled, but there was absolutely no humor in it. “After all that rough banging?”
He winced and missed a step, which almost caused him to trip. He was quick to recover, smiling sheepishly for our audience, but his eyes were serious.
“Did something happen?”
The song ended just there, and I broke our contact immediately, returning to my spot. I could feel his eyes on my back, and I had to fight off my tears. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
Every second spent here added to the heaviness I felt in the pit of my stomach, and I barely endured the rest of the class, almost counting minutes until it was over. I couldn’t stand seeing him dance with others or searching for my gaze over the room. I felt like I was suffocating, wanting to be anywhere but here. It was all an act. It most definitely was.
So, when the class finally ended, I rushed to pick my things and left without any explanation, without looking at him even once.
The next day, I dragged myself to my work, feeling emotionally drained. I spent hours crying last night, having fully convinced myself that Carlos had just used me for fun before he switched to another girl.
Soon after I left his studio, he started calling and texting me, but I didn’t answer any of his calls or messages. Each call or message brought me a dull pain and I felt deep down that I was unworthy of love. No one wanted me for me. But Carlos’ betrayal hurt more than I could’ve possibly imagined.
In the end, he wasn’t any better than other men who went from one girl to the other. If he actually felt something for me, he wouldn’t have looked at Tanya that way and he wouldn’t have held her as close as he’d had. I should’ve known better. No, I should’ve listened to my voice of reason that had warned me about him.
I had no desire to talk to anyone. Natalie called me, but I couldn’t talk to her, wanting this day to be over with. There was no way I could go back to Carlos’ studio. I couldn’t attend his classes anymore. And to think that I was actually starting to feel something for him…
That hurt the most. The fact that I still wanted to see him and hoped it had all just been a misunderstanding on my part. I got in too deep, and I didn’t know how to get him out of my head.
After work, I didn’t want to go back to an empty apartment, feeling lonely, but I also didn’t want to be around people. I returned to my place, planning to go to sleep and start over tomorrow, if possible, but before I could manage to close the door, Glen slipped inside.
“Glen?” I shrieked when he closed the door and advanced toward me. I couldn’t believe him. Not again. “You can’t be serious!”
I backed away and winced when my back met a wall. He stopped only inches away from me, invading my personal space.
“Please, cupcake. I just came here to talk. I promise. Just listen to me. I won’t hurt you. Believe me.”
No. I didn’t believe him one bit. My heart hammered in my chest, anger twisting my insides. This time he wasn’t drunk, but this didn’t make him any less scary. Quite the opposite. He had the glint in his eyes that told me he was up to no good, and after what he’d done to me last time, I would be crazy to even consider what he had to say.
“I don’t want to listen to you, Glen. What more do you want? I have no intention of going back to you, so stop harassing me!”
“No, you don’t understand. I’m ready to wait for you. I know you’re feeling sensitive after your car accident and your hip injury, so I understand that you might be confused about your real feelings.”
The more he spoke, the more shocked I was, and I couldn’t comprehend that he was the same man I fell in love with three years ago. What the hell had happened?
“It’s okay. I really understand. So I’m ready to wait for you. We don’t have to get back together immediately. I’ll show you I can be patient and understanding. Just don’t refuse me.”
He was beyond delusional! I was pissed off, but I was afraid that I would provoke him if I argued with him. He didn’t seem stable, so I attempted once more to reason with him.
“Glen,” I started. “Please, stop this. I’m not confused. I don’t love you anymore. Don’t you get it? I feel nothing for you, and you’re not gonna change that. Why can’t you just accept it and leave me alone?”
He caught my shoulders, and I drew in a sharp breath, pressing myself further against the wall. “But my life doesn’t make sense without you. You’re the only one I love, and I can’t give up on you. Believe me, I tried. I’ve been drinking myself into oblivion, but I can’t. And when I saw you with that other guy…” He cursed. “No. I can’t let you be with him or anyone else. I told you. You’re mine.”
Furious but also freaked out, I slapped his hands off me
and darted away from him, my heart pounding in my ears. I clutched my purse, ready to take my phone and call the police any moment.
“I want you to get out right now, or I swear I’ll call the police on you again. I don’t want anything to do with you, and just so you know, I’m going to get a restraining order as soon as you leave.”
His eyes widened, his face paling. “No, sweetheart. Don’t say that. I just want to make things right. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to us.”
I pointed at the door. “Glen? The door is there.”
“Bitch.” In an instant, his pleading expression was gone, replaced by fury. I didn’t even have time to react when he grabbed me and pushed me to the couch, covering my body with his.
“Get off me!”
“If you don’t want to listen to me, then I have to find some other way to convince you,” he said through his teeth, his eyes vicious.
I screamed, panic quickly enveloping me. He pinned my wrists against the couch above my head and pressed his lips against mine, limiting my movements. I kicked and thrashed against him, but it was pointless, because his pressure on me only increased, and I couldn’t think properly anymore, fear clouding my mind.
He ripped my blouse and reached for my breast while holding my wrists with his other hand, and I was filled with disgust and dread, unlike anything I felt before. I was crying, realizing that this time I couldn’t defend myself. Glen was actually going to rape me.
And just that thought alone threw me into utter despair, splintering my heart forever. This couldn’t be happening!
But then…
12
One moment, Glen was working on the zipper of his pants, the next he was flying across the room. I needed a moment to understand what was going on, my pulse racing. My eyes met Carlos’s for a brief moment before he noticed my ripped blouse, and to say he was furious would be an understatement.
“Hijo de puta!”
He lunged at Glen, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and punched him directly in his face, which sent Glen flying down to the floor. “I’m going to teach you not to treat her like that, you filthy piece of shit.”
He straddled him, preventing him from moving, and hit his face until Glen was all covered in bruises and blood.
I couldn’t move, observing him through my blurry eyes with horror that still coursed through my veins. If it hadn’t been for Carlos, Glen would have… No.
Carlos dragged him up to his feet and pressed him against the wall. “Don’t come near Lindsey ever again.”
Glen smiled—actually smiled—and spat the blood from his mouth on the carpet. “You can forget it, latin lover-boy. I have no intention of letting you have her. If Lindsey’s not with me, she won’t be with anyone else either.”
“Pendejo!” Carlos punched him in his stomach, the force of the hit lifting Glen from the ground.
“Carlos!” I found the strength to move and reached them on my shaky legs. At this rate, Glen was going to end up in the ER. I placed my hand on Carlos’s shoulder. “Please, stop. No more.”
He looked at me, worry written all over his face, but he didn’t let go of Glen, pressing his forearm against his neck. “Are you alright? Did he hurt you?”
“He didn’t hurt me, but if you keep going on like this, he’ll suffer serious injuries. Please, stop. He’s not worth it.”
He nodded and released him. He stopped right in front of me, shielding me from Glen. “You’ll leave right this second if you don’t want me to break your jaw or worse.”
Glen glared between Carlos and me, sneering at us. “This isn’t over yet, Lindsey. You’re making a huge mistake. You’ll see.”
I shivered at the hint of warning in his words, and I hugged myself. I just wanted him gone from my life. Was that too much to ask?
Carlos reached for him to drag him out, but Glen smacked his hands away. “I can go out by myself.” He spit his bloody saliva at Carlos’s shoes and looked at me one last time. “See you soon, cupcake.”
Carlos tried to pounce at him, but I grasped his upper arms and managed to keep him in place. “Let him go,” I told him.
Carlos slammed the door behind Glen as soon as he walked out, and the reality of what just happened finally hit me.
I ended in a heap on the floor, trembling hard, and broke into tears.
“Mi amor.” Carlos dropped on his knees next to me and cradled me against his chest. “It’s alright. I’m here. You’re safe now.”
I clutched his shirt and buried my face into his shoulder, sobbing. To think that I was seconds away from that heinous act… To think that Glen would go through with it…
“I’m here, preciosa.” He caressed my back in slow moves that were supposed to soothe me, but I felt cold. So, so cold. “I’m not going anywhere. Cry all you want.”
I snuggled up to him, seeking his warmth and strength. I felt like I had no way out.
“I can’t believe he was actually ready to go through with…” I hiccupped, my chest throbbing. “I was terrified.”
He caressed my hair, keeping his other arm around me. “I know. I was scared myself when I heard you scream. Thank God that your door was unlocked and I was able to get inside on time.”
I didn’t reply, clutching his shirt like it was my lifeline. I was ashamed that Carlos had to witness that. I was ashamed that I had to drag him into this.
“Don’t worry. I’ll always be here to protect you.”
At this, I broke down, crying louder. I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve any of this, yet Glen wouldn’t leave me alone. And Carlos… He saved me. I’d left his studio without a word, but he was here now and he saved me from Glen.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered into his shirt after a couple of minutes.
“What are you sorry about?”
“Because you had to see this and deal with Glen.”
“Por Dios!” He made me look at him and cupped my face. “Don’t even say something like that. There’s no way I would let that bastard get away with that. There is nothing you should feel sorry about.”
“But… What are you doing here?”
He sighed. “I came to see if you were okay because you didn’t respond to my calls or texts. You ran away without any explanation, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
He planted a soft kiss on my forehead, but I pulled away, confused from my emotions and erratic thoughts. He saved me, but that didn’t change the way he looked at Tanya, did it?
“Lindsey, what’s wrong? Did I do something?”
I ran my hands down my face. “I don’t know, Carlos. I’m so confused. You saved me from Glen, and I’m so grateful to you, but…”
“But what?”
“But I can’t be with someone who wants me only for sex. I don’t want just sex with you. For me, what we have is more than just that.”
He frowned. “What are you talking about? I don’t want you only for sex. How could you even think that?”
“But I saw the way you danced with that girl, Tanya. You know she likes you, and she flirts with you pretty often.”
“Yes, but I don’t care about that.” His lips curled into a half-smile. “Wait. Are you jealous?”
“Carlos, I’m serious here. You two were dancing together and it looked so… intimate. Like it was much more than a simple dance. Like you were ready to take each other’s clothes off right there. And the look you had in your eyes…” It hurt just thinking about this. “You wanted her.”
He caught my hand. “No, preciosa, you got it all wrong. I wanted you.”
“What do you mean?”
“All that time, I was thinking about you. I was looking at her the way I did because I wasn’t seeing her in front of me. I was seeing you. This way I was able to communicate the true passion in dance—dancing as if your heart is in unison with the person you’re dancing with. As if that dancing partner is your whole life.”
He cupped my cheek and kissed the back of my hand. “That’s w
hy I seemed that way. I don’t care about Tanya or any other girl there, because I have eyes only for you. I care only about you, Lindsey, and that’s not going to change.”
“I… I’m not sure I can believe you.” I let out a long exhale. “I really can’t trust my judgement anymore. I can’t help but see a threat even when there is none. Even if what you say is true, that doubt in me never goes away and it tells me you’re lying. I’ve been pretty hurt in the past, and it was all Glen’s fault, so now… Now, I’m trying to collect the pieces of my broken self.”
“You mentioned him before, but I couldn’t even imagine it was that bad. Look.” He made me look at him. “I’m not him. I don’t know what that bastard did to you, but I don’t want to hurt you. I’d never do that.”
He smiled tenderly. “Ever since I met you, I feel different. You make me feel alive. With you, I feel like I’ve finally found that missing piece of me that I could never find, and I feel complete. I know you probably don’t trust a word of what I say and feel like I’m going to hurt you, but I hope you’ll give me a chance to prove myself. I care so much about you.”
My eyes filled with tears again, and I broke into giggles. “You must think I’m a crybaby or something.”
He returned my smile. “I don’t. You can cry all you want. I’ll be here to take care of you.” Once more, he pulled me into his embrace, and I let him. “However long it takes to you to trust me, I’ll wait.”
“Why?”
He kissed the back of my head. “Because I fell for you, Lindsey. I know it’s probably not the good time to say this, but that’s how it is.”
I pulled back to look at him, flabbergasted but also overjoyed. “You… You fell for me?”
His smile was tender, his eyes soft and affectionate. “Yes. And it hurts me seeing you like this. I want to protect you from everything. I want you safe.”
Carlos Page 7